peffster

Wait, don’t actually. You haven't read my intro yet, and I spent a lot of time bleaching these pixels. You have no idea how difficult it is to get blood out of a dashboard. Don't ask me why it's green.

[ ABOUT ME ]

NAME: Jeff (Jeffrey Woods if you’re a cop or my mom).

PRONOUNS: He / Him / It (honestly, as long as you're screaming, I don't care).

AGE: 16 to ERROR: 404 - SLEEP NOT FOUND

ZODIAC: Probably a Scorpio, but I’m more of a "Warning Sign" than a star sign.

MARITAL STATUS: Married to the grind. And the pixel. But he keeps pissing me the fuck off. Minecraft is not as important as I am.

LOCATION: Right behind you. (Check the closet.)

[ HOBBIES & INTERESTS ]

HYGIENE: Bleaching things. Mostly skin. Occasionally floors.

INTERIOR DESIGN: I specialize in "Red Splatter" aesthetics. Very minimalist.

SPORTS: High-speed cardio (mostly chasing people)

GAMING: Playing "Hide and Seek." I’m the reigning champion.

FASHION: I’ve worn the same white hoodie for a decade. It’s called commitment, look it up.

[ INTERACTION RULES / DNI ]

BYF (Before You Follow): I have zero filter and I don't sleep. Expect late-night posts that make no sense.

DNI (Do Not Interact): If you’re a bully named Randy, Troy, or Keith. I’ve already dealt with you once; don't make me do it again.

SHIPPING: Unless you’re shipping me a new set of high-quality kitchen knives, don't bother.

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ERROR: 404 - SLEEP NOT FOUND

⚠️ SYSTEM ALERT:

The user you are looking for is currently unavailable. He is busy staring at a mirror, sharpening a steak knife, or standing in your hallway.

Technical Details:

Status: Fatal Exception

Cause: Too much bleach in the system.

Remedy: Close your eyes. (Wait, I can't do that. You should do that.)

🛠️ Troubleshooting Tips:

Check if your doors are locked.

Ensure no one is under the bed.

Sally is quite known for her precious bear, but have you heard of the rabbit?

Bunny is cruel. Once someone is sitting in the guest chair, she emerges from under Sally's bed to claim the toes of her victims.

She has children, you know. They are quite fun to pet- if Sally likes you, that is. She shares them with Jeffrey, who trained them in their toe chewing ways.

She is looking at you.

I will be getting bookshelves for princess when I am done. I want our goddamn books off the floor.

And Rugs, says Sally. And rugs.