As it is Written

I just want this cycle to stop man, why is it always like this? Can I just have one partner that can read all my other forms of attraction, aside from sex?

Am I legit that simple a person, and all my tortured "woe is me" bullshit just me forgetting to take care of myself?

Seeing your friends, family, and even lovers. Feeling the warmth of other people. These are also self care. Love yourself enough to know you can have and deserve the support and care of the people around you. You can socialize and have a community, as a treat :>.

That's it, what are your flaws and your history, to your ability to do the right thing, right now? As long as I know I can still do good, I can forgive myself, and I can have hope in my future.

So, I dated and got into a lot of regrettable situations with women. I took a break, went to therapy, and began to heal. It clicked in my head that I wasn't really interested ever? I just wanted to fit in and stop feeling like I was this gross, sexist, evil slob.

Effeminate Dudes just exist, man. We wouldn't have 20+ years of terms for them if they didn't.

If I act/engage with people only in a "Hi, what do you need?" way, and like refuse to engage with people being friendly to me or when they try to let me in. It kinda makes it hard for people to see me as a person. If I want to stop getting used by people, I need to stop only engaging when people need me. I need to make an effort to let people know me as a person, instead of just what I do, or what my use is for them.