new minister of magic?
Fai_Ryy
Game of Thrones Daily
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
todays bird

oozey mess
wallacepolsom
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
we're not kids anymore.

pixel skylines
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n
noise dept.
KIROKAZE

blake kathryn
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni

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@faerise-fae
new minister of magic?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel
Dude, hold on
Harry being so much like Voldemort? Cool, great, they can even look alike but listen.
Voldemort being so much like Harry. Time travel? Sure! Soulmates? Do go on. Harry is and always has been Voldemort. Oh yeah great, I have a new plotbunny now.
youre monogamous? oh… it’s ethical, right? ethical monogamy? okay good for you! i mean pretty much every monogamous couple i’ve met didn’t work out but maybe you guys will beat the odds! haha. so is it a sex thing? you guys have sex with- just each other? huh. how does that work? i could never do monogamy, i’m too jealous, i’d worry my partner would leave me for someone else instead of dating us both… how do you deal with the jealousy? is it hard? like, how hard? extremely? do you think you’ll break up? i mean in the long run these things rarely work out,

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The thing about the "all evil fictional women from myth and legend are misunderstood and in reality their story was retold to make them evil because men were afraid of their power" trend is that it's low-key also misogynistic to assume women are incapable of being terrible people purely due to being women.
i stole this from twitter
me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.
me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people
I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.
Harry goes to destroy the Locket alone, and Locket!Riddle’s manipulation for Harry is a little different from Ron’s… 😅

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
You have to shove your whumpees to the ground on their stomach and yank their arms behind their back to tie their wrists before pulling them back to their knees with a harsh yank on their hair otherwise they're not getting proper enrichment
Little involuntary whimpers of fear my beloved.
Dylan & Algernon Masterlist
Summary: After spending a year locked in a cage and used as a bloodbag by vampires, Dylan is rescued by Algernon, a peacekeeper, a vampire whose job is to kill his own kind when they break the rules. Even though Dylan should have been killed as a part of the evidence, Algernon offers him a different choice: to come with him, giving up his freedom in exchange for survival. Now Dylan finds himself living with the silver-haired vampire – always smiling, so difficult to read – while Algernon must take care of a young man who's broken, terrified of even being near him.
Content: human whumpee, captive whumpee, vampire caretaker, slow recovery
General CW: captivity, forced proximity, vampire-on-human power imbalance, past torture and trauma, blood, violence, minor characters death
Chapter 01
Chapter 02
Chapter 03
Chapter 04
Chapter 05
Chapter 06
Chapter 07
Chapter 08
Chapter 09
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 18.5
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 39.5
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
@catpassion93
if anyone here is into hurt/comfort, i can't recommend this one enough. Dimly is so talented and has so many great ideas for this story, it's just chefs kiss and im always so excited for the updates.
Dylan & Algernon 45
(feel free to ask if you want to be tagged)
Dylan & Algernon Masterlist
CW: just a bit of tension
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Algernon reached the staircase overlooking the entry hall. He paused there for a moment, his eyes fixed on the front door.
He was rather irritated by the unexpected interruption during what had been turning into a strangely... peaceful moment.
Despite the little incident in the attic, Dylan hadn't panicked or retreated into that stubborn silence he sometimes hid behind in situations like this. For once, he and the vampire had been having an actual conversation, without the human looking constantly on the verge of either bolting or falling apart.
But the Peacekeeper set that irritation aside and turned his attention to the problem at hand.
Who the hell would show up at this isolated villa in the middle of the night, with rain pouring down like this?
The most likely explanation was a lost camper—or someone who'd been caught in the storm and was looking for shelter. In that case, Algernon would simply use compulsion to send them on their way. The last thing he wanted was for the surrounding woods to end up crawling with search parties.
Still, he couldn't rule out the possibility that this was a more problematic kind of visitor.
The Peacekeeper glanced toward the library door, wondering whether it was worth retrieving the nylon thread. But when the knocking came a third time, he decided it would be quicker to deal with it as he was and resumed walking toward the entrance.
He moved soundlessly and, on the way, picked up a wooden coat stand. He still wasn't back to full strength, but it wouldn't take much effort to snap the thing in half and drive it through the chest of an unwelcome guest.
However, when he was only a few steps from the door, another sound reached his ears from outside.
A foot tapping against the ground.
A light, rhythmic sound that betrayed a certain impatience.
Then he remembered that there was someone who now knew where the villa was.
He relaxed a little.
So he simply opened the door, making the small figure standing outside jump ever so slightly.
"Eddie," was all he said.
The other vampire stared at him for a moment, wide-eyed—and Algernon mentally congratulated himself on having slipped past her excellent hearing.
Then her gaze drifted to the coat stand he was still holding.
"...Al."
Ah. Right.
The owner of the house set his improvised weapon beside the door with as much nonchalance as he could manage and asked "What are you doing here?"
Eddie looked back up at him and opened her mouth, but seemed to take a few seconds to decide what words to use.
The Peacekeeper idly noted that tonight she was wearing a green rain jacket—far too big for her, naturally—which hadn't stopped her from getting soaked from head to toe.
"...Are you kidding me?" she finally shot back.
Algernon didn't remember arranging to meet her. Certainly not here at the villa.
No unexpected guests, that was what he'd established.
So he tilted his head slightly.
"No?"
Eddie looked him up and down before saying carefully "Basil's been going around bragging that he messed you up."
The mere mention of the red-haired vampire was enough to make the irritation rise again.
"Oh. So you came here looking for gossip."
That seemed to annoy her too.
"I came to make sure you were still in one piece, you ungrateful brat," she replied indignantly, folding her arms across her chest.
Algernon raised an eyebrow.
He thought about it for a moment and realized that yes, beyond simple curiosity, Edwina actually did have a good reason to check on him.
Even if she could've just waited until their next meeting and drawn her own conclusions if he failed to show up to collect the groceries she'd bought for Dylan.
"Not even Basil's stupid enough to kill another Peacekeeper," he replied simply.
Eddie's mouth fell open, and her arms dropped to her sides.
"So it's true. He really did hurt you," she said in disbelief, studying the silver-haired vampire with renewed interest "...How?"
With that silver sword he always has on him, he almost answered. But he knew perfectly well that wasn't what she meant. And right now, he wasn't really in the mood to tease her just for the pleasure of watching her pout.
"He attacked me during an assignment," he explained instead, trying to sound more indifferent than he actually felt "He caught me off guard."
"He caught you off guard," Eddie echoed, her skepticism on full display.
"What exactly are you implying?" Algernon asked, frowning.
In response, Eddie rolled her eyes with that exaggerated flair she was so fond of.
"I'm implying," she began, "that it's only natural for Basil to take any opportunity he gets to hurt you."
The Peacekeeper's gaze turned icy.
"So you're saying he had the right to do it?" his voice had gone just as cold.
Her reaction was immediate.
"No! I—" she started, instinctively taking a step back.
Then she fell silent, pressing her lips together.
A long moment passed between them.
Then Eddie subtly shifted one foot farther back, adjusting her stance so that —as became immediately obvious to Algernon— she'd be ready to bolt if necessary.
"I mean... from his point of view."
The silver-haired vampire couldn't have said what annoyed him more in that moment— her attitude or her words.
"Stop it," he said "I'm not going to do anything to you. And I didn't do anything to him."
Eddie pressed her lips together again.
Algernon knew she wanted to object, but then he heard his ticket out of the conversation approaching on bare feet.
So he raised a hand, cutting off whatever reply was about to leave her mouth, then turned his back on her.
"Dylan," he called instead, lifting his gaze toward the staircase on the far side of the entry hall.
A few moments later, the human cautiously appeared at the top.
"It's only Eddie," Algernon told him, stepping aside from the doorway just enough for Dylan to see the woman "And she was just leaving," he concluded, hoping the hint reached its intended recipient loud and clear.
"E-eh...?" Dylan murmured, his gaze moving from the Peacekeeper to the other vampire and back again.
Then, in a tiny voice "But... i-it's raining..."
The silver-haired vampire—who'd been looking for the young man's arm to make sure he'd finished bandaging it—was caught completely off guard and raised his eyebrows.
Then, once he'd actually processed what he'd just heard... he burst out laughing.
@asliverofwhump @thecyrulik @minatheremembrance @nvrmorrr @kitxel-draws @written-in-the-stars135 @soraksorak @the-vault-is-open @hiddencowboybarbarian @glitchy-qilin @frankieronny @faerise-fae @tiffany96 @writing-with-olive @sovereigntoadassassin

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”
Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!
Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites
Oh my god they were phishing
STOP SCROLLING
Your life ends in the wasteland.
there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it