escape from the city and follow the sun.

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

sometimes “!!!!!!!!!!!” is a word

“you’re so sensitive” i was born with a poet’s soul. bitch

“i can’t do this anymore” says a girl who is not only going to do it but do it well

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

hyperfixations are so embarrassing like nooo don’t look I have a crush. on this tv show

me @ myself: wtf girl??!!!!! why r u sharing this online !!!?! Shut Up !!!!!!!

whenever i see a sleeping kitties paws unguarded i understand exactly how eve felt about the apple

a mug that just says “don’t talk to me until i’ve fucked your wife”

no. you know what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your onions*

*puts metaphor between teeth* it’s a cigarette

Fuck all customers except whoever left us an anonymous store review saying they drive by three other locations to come to ours because they’re bisexual and everyone who works here is hot

this review has been usurped by my new favorite which is “when I pulled up to the drive through window I heard all the employees loudly making jokes about the marital problems our troops face. very disappointed, will not be returning.”