Brutal Love

“yes, but I would not make our nephews wife suffer hearing it. There are things a woman must come to understand about men on their own.” You sat back in your seat and lifted your cup. “Besides, I am sure Valarr is far more considerate of his wife’s worries than other husbands are.” Finishing with a sip of your warm tea.

“I’m not entering any list.” He reminds you as he comes up from behind and his hand rubs the back of your neck. Your hair is mostly up, braided and pinned, away from your face and hopefully protected from the dirt you knew that would be kicked up into the air later once’s things really began.

“because your brother has convinced you that you are too old.”

“No…because it is time for my sons to succeed me.” You groaned as put down your cup and reached up to run your hand against the side of Maekar’s cheek.

“Kiera, might you excuse us?” Her chair squeaked on the floor and the moment the door opened and puffed out some air as it closed you dug your fingers into your husbands short beard. “And where are they? My boys?” Your brow raised. “I had expected their company at break of fast if I am being truthful. Kiera is sweet but I had been hoping to hear about their journey.” It should not be much of a story but Aegon just had a way of explaining things so magically, so grandly. He’d become the little storyteller for you, sitting by you during feast and discussing what people were doing or the things he had happened upon on his way down a hall he shouldn’t of been wandering through. It entertained you greatly. He would have much to tell you about Ashford you imagined. He had already been here a few days…or that is what you had believed. What Maekar had planned. Him and Daeron would ride ahead. Maekar, Aerion, and you would follow a bit later. Aerion’s armor had been delayed and Aegon did not want to miss any moment of the tourney so eventually Maekar had just bent and allowed for him to go early, much to your dismay…and to Daeron’s who would be accompanying him.

“remove your hand.” His thumb was rubbing at the inside of your wrist. It never ceased to amaze him that you could just sense when something was out of order. Last night when you arrived he had told you that the boys were both asleep in their chambers, that you could see them in the morning. A lie, one you’d sniffed out within two hours of being awake this morning.

“why?” You sighed fingers a bit rougher in his neat silver hair.

“I don’t want to have a bald spot on my jaw.” He grumbled and you retracted your hand.

“I want to see Aegon right now.” You demanded, your voice frighteningly level in tone. He knew you were showing restrain.

“he is not here- fucks sake!” Maekar barely got the sentence out before you were standing from your seat.

“and you slept next to me in bed last night?!” He’d done more than sleep. You were always restless when someplace new and unfamiliar and he knew just how to smooth that anxious edge right out of you. All it took was laying himself between your legs in bed and devouring your cunt until you were so spent all you could do was roll over onto your stomach and go to sleep.

“it was dark-I’m in lands I don’t know, I’d of gotten lost myself looking for them.” He reasoned and you pushed past him going to the doors hand flailing a bit when the latch was elsewhere than you initially imagined. When you did get it open you turned at once to the guard you knew was posted there. “Find another man, any man and I want you to go find Daeron and Aegon.” You insisted. “The brothels between here and Summerhall should be focused on and…” your voice trembled slightly. “Inns too, but Daeron will be in some filthy ale house I’m sure.” He didn’t look at Maekar when you instructed him of his task. Maekar may pay the man’s wages but you were whose word he bid. That was the only way you’d agreed to have a guard following you about. Your word was law.

“He’s just drunk somewhere…Aegon is likely already driving him up the wall…he’ll get him here.” Maekar assured but that gave you as their mother no relief.

“I told you we should if travel together, Daeron did not even want to attend this event and you made him come early and bring a child with him?! It’s a wonder the songs did name you Maekar the intellect, gods above!” You were being rude, but it felt justified to you given the situation. Two of your children were just missing.

“They are princes of the realm-“

“exactly!” You turned back towards him. “The wrong person finds them and they quickly go from being a honored surprise guest into somebodies prize that will get them a bag of gold! Anything could happen to them!” You were terrified, appalled that they were out there somewhere on their own. “Find them, now Maekar!” You waited to let go of your held breath until he left the room, he knew you would be bother by a kiss or some affection but he still did touch the back of your hand before he left. A little something. A unspoken promise that they would be safe and back here soon.

You’d have his head if they weren’t.

You had the blankets tucked under your arms, and were laid flat on your back. You couldn’t sleep like this, but you also weren’t wanting to sleep. Not while Daeron was in gods only know what condition and Aegon was likely being dragged through scenes that a boy of his age should not see. On top of those troubling thoughts the events of today weighed on you also. The jousts. You’d sat in the box this morning, Maekars chair empty between you and Prince Baelor because he was out looking for the boys while there was daylight. You knew Aerion was to begin his journey at Ashford with that event so you had pratically worn a hole in the fabric over your knee as the events went on. You had gone completely still when he was announced. Baelor had made a comment that you son did not look nervous.

That was good. Fear tended to get in the way of focus and that was how people got hurt. You didn’t want him hurt.

Spectating was an art you cared very little for now. So many years had passed since you got ill and lost your vision and generally you did not find yourself still lamenting on being unable to see. Though that was mostly because you had come to understand what sort of situation you would put yourself into. Sitting and “watching” was not something you made a habit of. But Aerion wanted you there, he was why you were attending the tourney at all. You believed he thought he might win.

Earlier in the dusty stands when there were gasps you sat up a bit straighter, then the murmuring began and your brow knotted together. “What’s happened?”

“a horse was injured.” Baelor spoke evenly and he saw you lean forward a bit, like that would help you get more clarity on the situation. “Aerion’s opponent, not his own horse.” Baelor gave you no additional information but you had overheard people discussing it throughout the day. They said he had impaled the poor beast intentionally. Now You could not get the thought from your mind.

“Maekar,” you sat up and your hand found his chest. He was fast asleep, exhausted after searching through the night and most of today. “Wake up.” You rubbed his chest a bit harder and that had his snore staggering and he flew up.

“Hm, what woman?” His eyes blinked away the sleep as he assessed the room. Nothing seemed amiss.

“I think you should pull Aerion from the tourney.”

“go to sleep…you need rest.”

“No-I don’t want to sleep.” You huff and turn towards him more. “I don’t think he’s ready for this sort of environment.” You admit. “Training at home with you and the knights is fine but-“

“It sounds as if he was resoundingly successful today.” He thought you were worried about Aerion’s safety. And you were normally but that wasn’t the thing bothering you at this hour.

“it’s too violent for him…he’s not ready, he doesn’t understand pretend versus actual war.” You sighed “he stuck his lance into a horse today Maekar…people were not impressed they were horrified and angry.”

“his lance was to heavy.”

“this is the same lance you trained him with in the courtyard…it was never too heavy then?”

Maekar looked past a lot when his came to Aerion. You could only assume it was because Aerion was the only one of your three oldest sons who had any interest in skills Maekar knew about. Daeron and Aemon certainly had no desire to fight let alone train.

“you’ll worry yourself sick…why would he mean to kill a horse? the grounds are different here than at home. His saddle could be misaligned.” Maekar sat up seeing you weren’t going to just lay down and ease to sleep. “Do not make me distract you.” He kissed your jaw and you groaned because that attention did comfort you some and you’d never been good at resisting his warm hands spreading against your hips…or the anticipation of what he was going to do once the fabric clenched in his hands was gone.

“I want to t-talk about this…” you warned him voice hitching when he bit your inner thigh as your nightgown was tossed to the floor.

“talk, I’m your captive audience wife.” You could feel his smirk. He knew his distraction was working. He could smell the arousal between your thighs.

“my prince?” A guard voice sounded from the other side of the door.

“return in the morning!” You call because his mouth was kissing eagerly at your inner thighs and just as his sharp nose grazed your slit the man spoke again. Which was a bold choice. Disregarding Maekar’s orders was one thing but ignoring your demands…that was another beast entirely!

“It is the princelings m’lady”

“Aerion is fine, he likely said something that was less than generous to our host.” Maekar was busy, hands pushing your thighs apart more to open you up to him. The guards words still rattled around in your mind. Princelings. The Princelings- more than one?

You were up and out from under Maekar so suddenly that your heel hit his shoulders as your legs scrambled off the bed to reach the door. Stopping barely to wrap a robe around you before pulling the wooden door open.

“what’s occured?” You stood there staring into the guards chests waiting with raised brows and a rapidly increasing heartbreak. You could feel in your bones that something was wrong.

“Gods fucking above-“ Maekar grumbled behind you. His hands racing to preserve the modesty that you did not realize you were not fully upholding. “Turn around fucking fool!” He snapped at the man and you felt Maekar hands gather the fabric and pull it properly around you. Now you felt the silk slide across your right nipple and realized that in your haste an entire breast had gone untucked.

“Prince Daeron and Prince Aegon have been located in the tents.” He reported facing out to the passageway and away from the bedchambers.

“oh thank the gods.” You smile and your face turns up toward Maekar hoping that your relived grin might settled him some.

“But there’s been an incident with Prince Aerion and a man who is here to enter the lists.”

“fucks sake-“ Maekar was already hauling clothes on himself and following the man out the door.

Later, when you found out that the issue with your second oldest had not simply been between him and a knight but also a young woman who was simply putting on a theatrical performance you would be quite irritated that the guard had left that bit out of his report.

You heard of the girl with a dragon puppet and fingers that could no longer operate it from Egg, as he was the one you asked be brought here to you. Aerion could be dealt with by his father and though you wanted to see Daeron you also knew that at this moment, you felt too furious about him putting not only himself but his younger brother in danger that you knew you’d have little patience for whatever troubled him.

Egg was the safest choice. The one you felt equipped to manage at this hour. You could get the truth from him and execute whatever punishment might be necessary. Of course really you had just ended up sat with him on the lounger. He was much to good at telling a story, skilled at remembering all the vivid details for you. By the time he had finished you felt like you’d been listening to a story your mother had read you as a girl about honorable knights who were strong and large and always stood up for what was right!

“Darling,” you wanted to believe him but it all sounded so fantastical. “If the truth of things is that you watched your brother drink himself to sleep and then you snuck porridge from kitchens and cut your hair because you caught fleas then that is the truth of it.” You sighed, hand still on Aegons head, fingers stroking at his smooth scalp. “I do not need some wild tale my love.” You kiss his temple and feel him groan.

“it’s not a tale mother! I found the knight at an inn and he let me join him here. He needs a squire and since Daeron does not want to even join the lists he felt like the best option. He’s fed me-“

“I bloody well hope he has fed you Egg, you’re a little boy- a prince.” You reminded him and tucked your son back into your chest. “If he has looked after you so well then I am grateful for him…but you should not have left your brother, or lied to this man about your identity especially after arriving to Ashford.” You sighed. “I was worried for you, sent your father out all night riding around calling both of your names.”

“I did not mean to scare you.” He defended himself. Though…he had seen you at the tourney grounds. Sitting in the stands near his Uncle Baelor as the first day of jousting began. You’d looked a bit lost sat there without any of them by your side and had felt a bit guilty since then. “Truly I am sorry.” He gripped your soft side and nuzzled more against you and eventually you stopped chastising him and asked questions about his apparently true tale of the last few days. He slept under a tree, and traded things for food, apparently won a rope tugging contest and had informed the knight he meant to squire for all about how tourneys functioned!

That went on until his words started to slur and his head felt heavier against you and then eventually sleep called to him. You imagined that the sofa you two were sat on was much more comfortable that the hard dirt he’d laid over the past few days. He slept so soundly that even when Maekar returned with a world of tension in his shoulders and newly formed wrinkles the boy did not even shift.

”he does not looked as if he’s been stolen.” Maekar huffed and You raise a brow.

“Who would have snatched him? Ser Duncan?” Your head shakes in disbelief as you chuckle lightly.

“Ser?” Maekar didn’t enjoy how easily this foolish fucking hedge knights name rolled off your tongue.

“That is who Egg traveled with. Ser Duncan, I shall like to meet him tomorrow.” You informed your husband hand still stroking eggs head. Having him bald like this reminded you of him being babe. He didn't grow one stitch of hair until his second nameday.

“Ser Duncan,” the name sounded sour coming off Maekar’s tongue. “Stole our boy from Daeron at an inn.” Though he did not sound fully convinced of it to you.

“Have you considered Daeron may simply be tossing any excuse possible towards you so he might save himself a reaming for being so drunk that his brother can just wander off in the night?”

Maekar groaned and you heard the bed creak as he sat on the edge of it. The conversations that had unfolded between him the knight, Baelor, Aerion and Daeron had not gone well. “Well it is too late to consider it now.” He grumbled. You’d come to learn that things had escalated to levels that could not be settled now.

A trial of seven was to be held.

There was no talking Maekar out of participating in this uncalled for match. You had attempted but it was hard to fight the fact that a father should absolutely stand beside his sons and support them. Aerion was thrilled for the thing, pratically buzzing as everybody prepared, he had no doubt that his cause would be the one that the gods deemed true, that he would be victorious. Daeron was mostly stuck in bed, pretending to be fearsomely unwell because Maekar had informed in that his own claims against the knight made him apart of this as much as Aerion’s! You could not seem to keep track of egg and by the time that you were sat in the stands on the day of the trail your mind was almost glad to have a moment to itself. The blood thing was here, it was happening you could smell the horses and hear the clapping and there was nothing more you could do to stop it. Your husband and two sons sat atop their horses prepared, apparently to fight to the death if need be? It was utter insanity and so you had to turn your mind off.

It helped that you could not see anything and that all the spectators were much to focused to think to dictate anything to you. Even egg, who was stood a row in front of you was mostly silent.

Until he wasn’t. Until he was shouting out

“stand up!”

Who needed to stand up? Maekar? His brothers? Who has fallen into the mud?

That was all it took to have you tuned back in to the terror that was associate with this battle. You half fell over the bench trying to reach eggs side, grabbing at the same railing he was leaning over.

“Ser Duncan get up!”

The hedge knight. Not you love or your sons, or Baelor or any of the kings guard you knew quite well by this point. The hedge knight. That was who your son was pleading to.

Some relief came from that but you didn't actually breathe again until the trail was done. Until you eventually heard Aerion’s strained and gurgling voice and you knew he was alive enough to speak! That he was yielding finally and that meant all this could be over!

In that moment you were greatful for your hearing…you’d be less thankful in a hour when Valarr’s sobs filled your ears and the maester informed you all that Baelor Targaryen was dead. That something crushed his helm and he was gone.

That somethings breath weakened behind you and the hand he had cupped against the back of your neck trembled before falling from your skin. Maekar disappeared entirely for some time after that.

You did not find him again until that evening, and it was he who made his presence know to you when you entered the chambers Aerion was in. The maester had told you he was asleep and that you could see him now.

“Do not touch him.” Maekar warned you and your hand, with trembling fingers came up to cover the sob that wanted to leave your mouth. Hearing your sons strained breathing as soon as the door closed had all of your emotions pouring out. You wanted to hold them back, to stuff them in but there was nowhere else for them to go. So you cried.

“he is t-that injured?” You just wanted to provide him some comfort stroke his hair or hold his hand. He was foolish and cruel and had behaved irrationally but he was your son. Yours! You needed him to know that you were here.

“He is still breathing.” That was hardly reassuring and your jaw clenched.

“How dare you!” You snapped at him so loudly that if Aerion could have woken he would have. “You-“ you cleared your voice because it was trembling so much. “You let this go on! participated in this fucking madness!”

“lower your voice wife.”

“why? Incase the dead hear us? Incase my shrieks makes these lords think our family feral animals?!”

“do not start. Not now.” He did not have the energy for this argument.

“Let them think what they want we are hardly better than hungry dogs baring their teeth at one another for a bloody bone!”

“Enough!” He stood up from the chair, groaning because of the effort the motion took. He was hardly in Aerion or even Daeron’s condition but he still felt the trial in every bone and muscle.

“what have you done-“ you hit his chest, turning into him when he approached from behind you and grabs your shoulders. “Our boys-“ your heart hurts so bad that would were worried your legs might just crumble under you. “Our family-“ you are crying and he’s wiping under your eyes even though you are still pounding his chest with every sentence you start. “Your brother… what has gone on here? What madness or-or curse?” You breathed in deeply and hit tone first against him again. “Did he speak of this?” If you could focus your eyes they’d cut Maekar Targaryen in half where he stood.

“people will hear you.” His hand kept you at an arms length distance now “hush.”

“Did Daeron tell you he saw something?” You should have spoke with him, should have provided him council after he was returned to Ashford. Ask him why specifically he wanted to disregard his father and your word and engage her brother by delaying their arrival-and loosing Egg all together. “He did…didn’t he?”

“it was nonsense.” Maekar justified, he’d played over his son’s words plenty of times since the news of Baelors passing broke out across the tourney. Admitting that there had been warnings he ignored would send him deeper into his spiral. “He is fucking mad! you know that, despite your resistance to admit it.”

Scared is what Daeron is!

“nonsense?” You step back no longer needing Maekars hand to keep you away. “I drink moontea and bleed out every babe that thickens because Daeron’s dreams are nonsense?” Your brows raised and jaw is shaking. “You’re as terrified of them as he is!” Delivered like an insult because for your husband it was. He worked hard to never seem scared.

The air shifted against you and you knew it was Maekar coming to touch your cheek or rub your side. The moontea was hardly discussed between you two beyond him asking if you were pained and then crawling into bed with you to rub your confused abdomen. You did not want to be touched right now.

“Leave me with Aerion,” you turned back to the bed and knelt beside it. Hands gently finding his hand and rubbing it. “I can manage to look after him. I’m sure there are matters you must attend to.” Matters that would be easier if your stood beside him but right now you just could not find the will to. You did not resent him for what he’d done to his brother. That is a cruel tragedy that he would bare on his shoulders for eternity. You were upset for a great many reason, none of which are unreasonable. Baelor’s death would no doubt have a ripple that he, you, and ever person in the realm felt but you did not critique him for a miscalculation in a tourney that was suppose to full of theatrical battles and men who wanted to play at war. What tourney devolved into a genuine war between two sides?! Your bitterness was for your family. For how he, you and the children might move on from this.

“A guard will remain outside the door.” He said it a while later, clearly having paused to consider his next words carefully. You’d taken on to much of his fire during your marriage, ire came quick to your now during fights and he had made enough mess of every other aspect of his life, he need not ruin what you two have as well.

You hate that the next day when you’ve pulled yourself from Aerion’s room and let a maid dress you that Maekar sounded surprised that you were entering your shared chambers. You hear it clearly in the breath he takes when he processes it’s you that has entered and not a servant. Did he really anticipate that your anger would keep you away when it was his brothers funeral?

“Im imaging this is not on correctly?” You held up a long velvet feeling cloth that was just handing losely against your shoulder.

“Can Nobody can do anything right here?” He groaned and crossed the room to meet you.

While Maekar was stood behind you fixing your gown he contemplated sharing what all had gone on while you had remained at Aerions bedside. Soothing him with your words and worried hands whenever his poppy induced haze lessened in the night. The Hedge knight and Aegon came to him with some crazed plan to travel about the seven kingdoms together.

“Aegon wishes to remain with that knight.” He shares Solomly as he fixed the red velvet that attached near your shoulder and then was suppose to also be secured down by your waist. “To squire for him.”

“Aegon is a child, he just does not wish to return home and be dealt consequences.” You mutter and Maekar’s hands rest on the sides of your arms when he finishes fixing up your gown. You both sounded tierd. Fighting always left you two sorrowful and then the rest of this just made it worse.

”he had the fool come to me and suggest the squiring after I already told him no.” You let out a very small chuckle

“poor fellow.” Which makes Maekar actually laugh. The sound settled something in your chest a bit. Just slightly.

“Did-“ you are about to inquire if your little boy was about to be sent off with some stranger.

“Gods no,” he finished fixing the velvet and then stroke his thumb under your swollen eyes. “Our son will remain with us. Graciously He has been invited to come to Summerhall. Of Aegon wished to squire for the man that he can do so within our home.” The knight had plenty to learn anyways from what Maekar had gathered from the trial both of them would benefit from training at Summerhall.

“then I shall hope he is wise to acknowledge that kindness and agree to your offer.” Your hand reached up and rubbed his wrist pulling it down so you could press a tender kiss to his palm. “We should go.” You sigh “best not to be late to this sort of thing.”

“Aye.” He moved his hand to your back and led you out to where the ceremony would be held.

Your good brothers body had been prepared by the silent sisters and was already set on the pyre.

For once you were glad to not see, to not watch as the flames spread across the princes body and swallowed him up entirely. Your lack of sight also was a relief to maekar in this moment. He did not need to feel ashamed for how his eyes glossed or that he kept having to advert his eyes. He did not want to let you in on how much guilt he felt yet. You’d comfort him if he did, if he was honest with about how sore his heart was. You’d comfort him and he did not feel deserving of that yet.

You couldn’t focus on the words said, or the smell of ash and the light sniffles around you as Prince Baelor was released from this world. You really were only kept in the moment because of Maekars grip. His fingers latching around yours and squeezing occasionally. You’d of drawn him into you more but you knew he wouldn’t want people to see that.

Thinking about him, and the pain he felt in his soul, pain that you knew you could not heal was frustrating so you turned your thoughts to other issues. Aegon.

He wanted to leave you. Or rather leave home but you were apart of that home so it was hard to not feel like he had gone to Maekar and asked to be let away from you all. He wanted adventure and to be rid of courtly ties and of all of you for some time. All boys grew restless at his age.

You thought of Daeron at the this age, Aerion as well. You remembered the wine cellar being suspiciously picked over and Daeron coincidently having an horrid spell of nausea. Recalled Aerion and the smithy’s son coming back from “playing” knights and the poor boy was bloody and bruised and Aerion had never looked gladder. You wondered what might have gone on had they left your grip back then?

Would they be better for it? Would you? Would the bloody realm? Aemon had left for Summerhall at about that age. He was rational. Mannered. Uncomplicated. He wasn’t returned to the keep by a worried whore or ever needed to be forbidden from taunting Daella’s ladies maids!

Maekar spoke lowly. “Excuse me-“ and his hand pulled from yours the moment that the ceremony had concluded. This was too much for him and so you remained, lingering about, offering Valarr words that you knew did little to soothe him. You thanked people for pulling all of this together as a good wife to an Targaryen prince would and then Egg, who you were purposely keeping near you throughout all of this, guided you a bit away from people.

“Ahh, m’lady.” Aegon, whos shoulder you were holding gave the hedge knight a look that could cut, one you did not see but clearly could fell occur because the man before you was sputtering when he did speak again. “I asked your husband, the prince, if I might take the boy with me on the road.” He did not sound any more confident that he had in his poor introduction.

“It’s Ser Duncan.” Aegon cut in giving his new friend a bit of a sharp tone. He’d told the bumbling idiot his mother was blind! That he should introduce himself properly so she knew who was speaking to her.

“My boy, you mean” ignoring Egg and lifting your chin a bit. There were habits you’d picked up over the years that you knew made conversation feel more natural. Staring through somebody while you stood a foot from them was off putting to most. So you’d ease your posture, tilt your head and really try and face that person that was speaking to you.

You were doing all those things now but due to the man’s size, A height that you could not truly grasp without seeing, your best efforts at directing your words properly was hopeless. You spoke through him somewhere around the middle of his chest, or even lower. Aegon cringed as he watched Duncan continue to catch your gaze properly.

“I believe my husband made his thoughts on this matter clear.” Your hand rubbed a bit at the back of Eggs shoulder. “My son is to stay with us. At home.”

“Is-“ you had started to turn and Duncan swallowed down his nerves because egg was looking back at him with a sad look that only a boy his age could put on. “I mean no offense-but is that truly best my Lady?”

Your back tensed and what remained of your polite smile fell. “You mean to question my husband’s judgment on the matter?”

“I mean, My lady,” he added that bit in quickly. “Do you think it best for him to return to Summerhall?”

Had he heard you in bed the night prior? Could he see it on your face that you’d not been more conflicted about anything else in your life? That you could not help but look at your four sons and weigh the knowledge in your head that Daeron and Aerion had been beside you and Maekar for their entire lives and were in shambles and Aemon, who left was well adjusted and kind. Aegon was still well mannered and kind even with the normal age appropriate boyish messes he brought upon himself.

Would he remain that way if he was in your care? Had Maekar and you planted some poisoned seed into them without realizing it? Would that rotten bit of him be watered and grow to consume him if he stayed in your care?

“Mother-“ Aegon cut in when you had still not spoken and him and Duncan had shared a silent conversation with their eyes and raised hands about how best to proceed.

“Do not pretend you know what is better for my son than his own father and mother does? Has your chivalry not brought enough sorrow already Ser?” You did not resent the poor man for having been honorable and protecting a women from your son but you did recognize that he’d mucked up quite a bit in his pursuit of chivalry!

“Come along.” You tugged egg with you back to the keep. Maekar had made his ruling and so his decision needs to be followed. He could squire for the man if Ser Duncan came to Summerhall.

You entered your chambers late. Having made sure egg actually got to his rooms and then you had gone to Aerion’s bedside. The maester had suggested he could dilute the poppy more so your son might be able to hold true conversation instead of just pained whining and nonsensical mumbling but you did not have the energy within you to hear whatever excuses he had for all of this maddening behavior. Baelor was dead because your son felt slighted. People would say it was because of Maekar’s mace but you knew it was because of your son’s arrogance and entitlement and you felt much to blame for him turning out that way.

“Maekar?” You didn't hear him in the room after you shut the door and for a moment you worried that there would be a second night of sleeping seperate.

“Yes?” He was over by the hearth from what you could tell and so you stepped carefully over there. Feeling the heat from him and the fire as you got closer. Relived that he was here, that you’d put aside the anger and fear and come as well.

“I had hoped yelling at you after the trial would make me feel better. But-it only made me feel worse.” You admit, a hand touching the middle of his back and finding it bare. “Did it settle you to snap at me?”

If it did you’d let him keep doing it, you argue all night if it was productive in any way but you assumed he felt similarly about it as you did.

“it pains me.” He is gripping the wood above the fireplace and you get closer wrapping your arms around him from behind.

“then I suppose we can both be more mature tonight than the last one? ” No more yelling, no more harsh words and cutting expressions. If you two were to talk then it would be like adults instead of bitter children. He turned to you a bit and your shoulders eased when his hand cupped your jaw.

Why fight when you both knew how best to offer the other comfort? You had to step onto his feet to reach him properly but a moment later your lips were sealed to his and he was feverishly taking you out of the mourning gown pushing you onto the bed with nothing more than a ribbon in your hair.

“Fuck-“ he is spitting down at your cunt as you roll onto your stomach and raise your hips up so your ass rubs against him. You’d both done this dance so many times that the movement were fluid despite how quickly you two were moving. Him preparing you, your mewled whimpers that made him stiff, the gasp both of you let out when he finally breeches into your body. All of it was comfortingly normal.

Your teeth bite down on your bottom lip as his strong hips snap forward. “Take it,” he’s never been a gentle man, never managed his emotions enough to not have rough edges that became more obvious in moments of intimacy. “All of me wife.” He grunts into your ear and he’s breathing hard enough against your neck and your loosened hair flutters a bit from it.

“fuck-“ you can’t say much more than that and even the explitive is hard for him to properly hear because the pushed so completely against the bed.

“Do you think me a brute now? Huh?” Somehow it felt less intimate to speak of these sort of things while you both were fully exposed. Bodies clapping together as he fucked you so throughly that tears formed in your eyes. Momentarily you wondered if guards could hear the two of you? Hear the princes weight clapping the bed against the wall and your strained gasps. If they thought him mad, Smoke still billowing from his eldest brothers ashes as he pumped himself into you.

“no!” And you meant it as you bit at the pillow. He wasn’t a brute. You knew him far too well to ever think that. He was many other unsavory things. Sad and insecure and likely forever broken now but he wasn’t a brute. He cared, about you; about Baelor; the children. A man who did not care would not be here, not have agreed to attend this foolish tourney in the first place because his parents begged and he certainly would not have stood beside you for more than half of your lives when it would have been so easy for him to stray. To take a mistress or a whore or fuck the young maids to came to Summerhall for work. You wouldn’t have seen. He of all people could have done those things and he had choose not to when so many lords did. You questioned many things but not his love for you. Never that.

“I love you-love you h-husband.” That was what he needed to hear, that is what he needed assuring of. Fighting with him over the last few days probably weighed heavy on his already severely burden mind. Did he doubt your affection for him? You had hid away at Aerion’s bedside as he was subjected to people’s vile whispering. Taken a separate chamber while he penned letters to be carried by raven to his father, mother and to Baelors widow.

You’d left him alone. You knew how frightening at was and had done so anyways because you were cross with him? That wasn’t fair.

“I’m here Maekar.” You lifted your arms back to grab at his hair, his face still hung between your shoulders. “I’m not leaving you again!” His hands flexed at your waist, thumbs pushing your bottom down into the mattress more and his pace slowed but was fiercer. “I-I’m here my love.” You swear to him pulling his hair up until he follows you and you are able to kiss at the corner of his mouth a bit. “I’m sorry. So so sorry.” You can taste the salt of his tears on his lips and you manage to take in the air from his mouth before he let himself go overtop of you.

Arms finally bowing to the pressure of his own weight and the extra burden now stacked against him. The pressure of his chest against your back and the final push of his cock had the stolen breath hissing out of your lungs. One of your hands still held to the back of his head though, keeping in there, wanting his weight over you because it was calming and centering and both do you could feel that the other was real…that the other was not going anywhere. Neither of you could.

“forgive me.” He panted into your neck and you pulled his hand into yours, gripping it tightly to your side.

“You need not seek forgiveness from me.” Your words frayed and weak because you could feel him coming apart against you. Emotionally and physically and you whimpered into the pillows when his hips rutted and your clit throbbed from how much of himself he was giving you in the moment. The two of you reached a much needed release together.

You hummed softly when he eventually rolled off of you to avoid crushing you entirely and shift to settle again him not wanting to lose contact. You were rubbing your fingers over the scar that was just under his last rib tracing it over and over as you both regained breath.

“That hedge knight denied my offer to return to Summerhall and let Aegon squire for him there.” Maekar informed you after clearing his throat.

“Truly?” You sighed and shifted your face against his warm chest a bit, this was not the new you wanted. He knew that and so his fingers moved from your back to your hair and began stroking through the strands to comfort you some.

“He’s a foolish imbecile.” Maekar eyes rolled and then he bent to kiss your head. “Aegon will just have to settle on being a squire for Daeron.”

“He will just sit in the armory all day while Daeron fucks off doing gods know what.” You groan.

“he’ll learn enough eventually. Be able to become the man he is desperate to suddenly be.” Maekar assured you. “We will teach him not some strange big man from flea bottom!”

“Will we?”

“yes.” He sighed and kissed your head.

“will we truly help him flourish into a decent man? Aemon is the best of them and it’s not lost on me that I’ve done little raising of him in the past few years.” Clearly you’ve been pondering this concept outside of this moment. A mother did not easily come to the conclusion that she had somehow been involved in tainted her own children’s character.

“None of that now,” he pulled you tighter. He’d had similar thoughts but hearing them from your mouth pained him. “The road is very differnt from being sent to studying at the citadel. Aegon will manage with us fine.” He swore to you. “Aemon was a good boy at home too.” He reminded you after a moment. “Aegon will be much the same”.

Gods you hoped that was true!

Maekar had been short all morning and his voice was getting more jaded from the constant exasperated groans he was making every few minutes while trying to just organize their party out of bloody Ashford. Aerion was stable enough to be awake and moved so it was time to go and Maekar did not want to spend one more moment in this cursed place!

You were holding to his arm, getting led around the courtyard as he checked on various things and barked orders. It was easier if you just remained with him during these sorts of things so you did not get lost in the chaos. You were fiddling with his fingers and sleeve and generally just seeming very nervous. Unease had settled into your stomach and it would not leave.

“Ser Donnel, fetch my boy.” Egg was out in the hills near the keep just lingering in the tall grass and being all moany. According to Daeron at least. It was the first thing he’d properly said to you aside from a brief assurance that he’d not miss the bit of ear he lost. You were still not quite ready to address him. There was something in you that still felt like every word you might have for him right now would be disparaging and you did not think that would be helpful for him.

“Oh-“ your fingers lace with his for a moment to draw his attention away from the horses and to you. Gently twisting his rings with your fingers as you often did. It was just a habit.

“fucks sake? What?” He groaned, not his full on exasperated one he prevented that from being directed at you.

“my book,” you pull your hand from his and quickly pull your cloak around your tighter. “I’ll not leave without it Maekar.” You added when he sighed. Aemon had only finished the dolled language copy of it a few moons ago and you’d not finished the tale yet. He’d written it on his own. A lovely story from his own mind.

A lovely book that you’d never of forgotten in a guest chambers! It was securely in your trunk. The first thing you’d packed. Though Maekar did not need to know that.

“ I’ll be as quick as I can-“ you make to step away and are stopped by his hand in your hair. It’s not rough or pulling it’s just present there and you grip your fist under the cloak tighter before turning back to him. “Perhaps you can read it to me when we stop tonight on the road.” Your mouth opened and then you stopped yourself from what you were originally going to say and took a second to think through everything. The boys, the trail, Baelor, the hedge knight, him and you and the ring you’d just taken of his finger and were hiding from him.

“When all is calm tonight and we are away from here I will gladly read it to you husband.” You stepped just a bit closer and felt his shoulder against your nose. “I will be right back. I swear it.” You savored the small affectionate peck he pressed to the back of your head truly savored it and then you slipped back into the hall.

You did not remain in it long at all, almost instantly cutting back out into the fresh air and trailing your hand along the side of the keep. That was when you heard the familiar clicks of metal sliding together. “Ser Donnel?”

“Yes, my lady?” He stopped and you remained heading towards him. Feeling the grass tickling up the bottom of your skirt. This was the tall grass and it seemed Daeron was being honest because you could ear distantly Egg groaning and moaning and saying swears he wasn’t permitted to.

“Perhaps you are better served out in the courtyard looking after Daeron Ser? I’d prefer him to stay with the party this time instead of slipping off to his indulgences?” Your tone gave him no choice but to abide by your words. They’d all been warned by Maekar that you were to be listened to.

“yes at once my lady.”

You walk carefully towards the sound of egg kicking mournfully at the grass and when he notices you he instantly makes another plea.

“let me go with him. Please!”

“very well.” It’s not easy to say and so you just do it quickly and plainly.

“truly?” You nod slightly and hear his excited clap. “Thank you mother! I-I need to go find ser Duncan than.” He begins about to turn away from you.

“Egg,” you grab his arm and pull him back to you, hiding him against your stomach for a while just squeezing him. “You need to be safe,” easing down lower so he would look at your face. “You stay with Ser Duncan, understand? You follow his orders and do whatever he bids you.” Hands cupping his face and you draw him in so you can kiss his head. “And you keep this hair short…nobody needs to know who you are.” You said steadily. “Alright?” His arms fling up over your shoulders and it levels you right down into the grass. You don’t mind that at all, don’t care about the possible grass stains. For a second holding your youngest son was all that mattered.

He murmured the promises right back to you hiding his smooth head between your jaw and chest and you were the one that had to break the hold, because he needed to go, needed to be gone before any of you set back out to head home.

“When can I come home mother?” He asked, softer than he’d asked for anything in a long time. Did he think you did not want him there?

“you can come home tomorrow my love if that is what pleases you.” You draw him back in and rock a bit. “Whenever you are done adventuring you come right home to me and your father.” You kiss his cheek and then release him fully. “Keep this with you, just incase.” You slide a ring off your thumb, it wasn’t one he had ever noticed you wearing before…because it was his fathers.

“now go, be good.” You pat his back and try not to cry when you hear his feet squish down the tall grass as he heads away from you and to the hedge knight.

You are barely up and two paces away from the location of your goodbye when suddenly Eggs arms are back around you. Squeezing you tightly as his face rests in the curve of your back.

“Thank you mother.” He says again before you are released by his squeezing arms. He’s never sounded more grateful in his life than he had in that moment and despite the fact that letting him go felt excruciating, you could not help but smile as his voice grew more distance while he ran and hollering after the big knight.

The smile lingered on your face some as you made your way back to the courtyard and the chaos and you walked slowly, hands out and feet hesitant because you knew there were horses and people moving about.

“There you are,” Maekar’s hand found your back. Some small panic had settled into his chest when you’d been gone longer than he anticipated. He was so relieved to have you back in his sights that he paid no mind to your empty arms. He just got you comfortably into the wheelhouse so they could all depart.

It took a while for him to notice that Aegon was not on his horse and Kiera, who was your company for the journey looked out the small window when Maekar’s swearing got louder.

“he seems quite distraught.” She commented hesitantly. Your shoulders settled against the back of the bench seating and you reached over to the wooden slats she had pulled open and you sealed them back up.

“it is best we do not get involved. I’m sure whatever it is will work itself out.” You promise her and convince yourself of the same.

Series: Prequel, Prequel 2, One, Drabble(2), Drabble(3), four, five, six, Family Headcannons, Seven , eight, Nine, Aerion’s head cannons, ten *

Maekar Masterlist

That time wasn’t different, but you brought something from your journey. A gift. A beautiful dagger with the handle inlaid with precious stones and carved with gold decorations. It was a display blade, not meant for fighting or defence, but you got an idea of how to use it.

“Come back here, wife. I’m not done with you yet.” His voice was raspy, tired, but not yet satisfied. Spread into your unmade bed, smelling of sweat and sex, Maekar looked gorgeous with his messy hair.

Standing not far away, showing your beautiful bare curves in the morning light, you were observing the dagger in your hands. “I’ll never understand why you restrain yourself so much while I’m away. Every man visits the brothel when the wives aren’t at home.”

You said it with an ease that left Maekar speechless for a moment. It was a bait for your beloved husband. A trap for the little game you had in mind. When he frowned in confusion, you knew it worked. He pulled up a bit to look at you. “Would you prefer me to fuck another woman, instead of waiting for you?”

“No. Of course, not.” You replied as you walked back to the bed. “But I find it strange that Baelor never brought you into a brothel while I’m away.”

“Baelor never visited a brothel even when he wasn’t married.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not.”

You walked onto the mattress on your knees to reach him and straddled him with confidence. Maekar sat up to welcome you into his hands, caressing your back and sinking his face into your breasts.

“Do you swear to me that you never fucked another woman while I was away?”

“I swear.”

You knew he was telling the truth; you could read it in his eyes, but the tip of the blade slipped down his throat regardless. It was a smooth and delicate movement. The flesh remained intact, but it was so pale that a bright red line irritated his skin anyway.

“Even a maid?” You asked in a more lusty tone.

His Adam's apple moved right next to where the dagger stopped its travel. Your boldness in being in charge unlocked something in his brain. A man accustomed to a life of arms, orders and strict rules, used to being in charge even in bed, was enjoying your little game.

“I swear.”

A warm sensation bloomed in your lower belly, and your commanding role was almost about to falter. You felt drunk to have Maekar at your mercy, in a world where he was a powerful Prince, a Targaryen… the Anvil.

“Such a good husband you are.” You whispered and led the kiss at your leisure. You slowly sat on his cock, enjoying the idea that your game made him hard. You were already wet when he sank into you, causing him to groan.

“Fucking perfect…” He murmured, as his hands landed on your buttocks, fondling with lusty hunger. You felt he was trying to switch the position, unable to resist the cock-warming you were giving him.

With a sudden pull of his hair, you forced him to look into your eyes. “The Prince is so arrogant that he thinks he could decide his own fate even when his wife is in charge.” You said it with gritted teeth, slightly increasing the blade pressure against his throat.

His cock throbbed against your inner walls instantly; even Maekar was surprised by his own body reaction. “I don't remember marrying a slut.”

“Silence! I want your hands on the mattress.”

His playful smirk only made things worse. Your pelvis moved with agonising slowness, your pussy clenched around his begging cock. The eye contact was a must, same for the fist around his hair. Everything to bring him to the limits. When he started to gasp and groan, you stopped, deleting that damn grin from his face.

“Uh, fuck.” He complained.

“Hands… on the mattress.” You ordered again.

“As you wish… wife.” He said, raising an eyebrow and obliging to your desire with very much effort.

“Good boy.” You teased with a subtle smirk.

“My revenge will be harsh.”

The dagger shifted from your right hand to the left one, and the entire length of the blade pressed under his chin, forcing him to look up at you. “Hush, husband.”

When your tongue wetted your fingers, he already knew what was on your mind. He snorted and shook his head. “I can do it for you, and I can do the rest.”

“No.”

Your little bulge was so sensitive when you took care of it that the pleasure was not long in coming. Heat waves washed over your body as you played with yourself, struggling to maintain control of the situation.

Maekar, immobilised like a good hostage, observed and enjoyed his beautiful wife touching herself. With the best goodwill in the world, he resisted your little whimpers, your body spasms, and your face twisted by pleasure, unable to stop his cock from begging for more friction, but despite his own amusement, he was silently planning his mutiny.

When the orgasm pervaded your essence, you couldn’t stay still, especially considering you were already filled with his hardness. Releasing loud moans and riding him like a real amazon, your mind blurred, pervaded by the intense pleasure, and you lost your grip on the dagger. Maekar grabbed it promptly, and wasted no more time in switching positions. You made a protesting whimper because you didn’t ride your orgasm properly, and your cunt craved more.

“By the Seven… Maekar!” You shouted between a gasp and a moan.

“Hush...wife.” He breathed into your ear. His little revenge slipped out of his tongue with a cruel smirk. He firmly kept your wrists in position over your head as the tip of the blade carefully ran down your sternum and proceeded down the middle of your breasts. Your thighs were wrapped around his waist with strength, unable to do anything else with your hands pinned down.

“I didn’t wait so many moons without a woman only to let you play with me.” He said against your lips, his beard pleasantly scratching your face. You could feel the dagger moving on the left, trailing an imaginary path on your breast skin to reach the areola and the nipple, causing goosebumps.

“Maekar…” His name escaped from your lips with delicate submission.

“Yes, wife?”

“More, please… please...”

His cock throbbed against your already spread opening and slipped in it without effort. You were still so wet and warm, and he was so needy that his cock started to leak without effort.

“Such a good wife…” He breathed out.

He moved the dagger to the side because he needed a firm grip while he shoved vigorously inside you, sending instant pleasure through your body. The obscene wet sound your intimate parts made only invited him to improve his harshness in the movements. You were still so sensitive, and he was hitting your spot just right while he took all the pleasure from you, that you didn’t struggle in surrender to another orgasm.

“Fuck…”

It was the only thing you heard through the pleasure as Maekar came fiercely, filling your womb with his warm seed after so much time separated. It was definitely his favourite place to cum.

The sunrise illuminated the bedroom, pervading your bodies still entwined in a sweaty embrace as you recovered. Staring at each other as you were catching your breath, you were enjoying the peace of that moment when a dull thud from outside dragged your attention.

“I think my maids enjoyed our reunion too.” You smiled.