Brutal Love

Beyond fatiguing. It had been so bad last night that you had to stop Maekar while he was laid between your legs. At one point you felt so tired you did not even attempt to hold to his blunt hair and keep him where you wanted. It had to be your moon blood, that’s what you told him. You didn't know anything else that made you ache like this. The first one you got after having a child was normally accompanied by a lot of discomfort and with Aemon’s age it made sense that your moonblood was the thing causing all of this.

You did not bleed, did not cramp, did not feel anything but that exhaustion and ache.

You were holding aemon in the nursery, pacing and bouncing him while weakly singing a lullaby. Just trying to settle him down for his nap. That was when the warmth spread across your back and your lips suddenly felt tingly and cold. You squeezed him tighter because the feeling in your limbs was rapidly lessening.

“call for my husband.” You told the wetnurse who was sat waiting incase the little prince could not be lulled by you. “Quickly.” You reiterate voice distant but stern.

“shhh…shhh,” Aemon started crying, his little hands pawing at your jaw and you smiled weakly down at him for a moment. “It’s okay my handsome boy…it’s okay.” You kiss his temple and then startle when a heavy hands land son your shoulder and squeezes.

You were so out of it that you did not even hear maekar enter the room.

“I can’t get him to sleep.” You admit still facing away from him.

“That is what you called me for?” He raised a brow and looked to the wetnurse. “He’s rest better with a full belly.” You did not put up a fight when she slipped aemon from your arms to her chest and sat with him in the nursing chair.

“are you feeling well-“ the prince began to inquire but your turned around as he spoke and he saw the redness across your nose and cheeks, the pale blue color on your lips and the classy crystal quality of your eyes. “Sit down.” He ordered you, hands gripping the sides of your arms and putting you down on one of the trunks. “The aching still? Did your blood come?” He pushed your hair back and was surprised to feel how clammy your skin was. You looked like you were going to faint.

“I feel odd.” You whisper, a hand coming out to hold to his bicep, like you just need something to ground yourself. You almost were flattened when the back of his hand pressed to your forehead and then under your jaw against your neck. He wasn’t being rough, at all, it was just that even mild pressure against your body was to much for you to stay strong against at the moment.

“You are fucking burning.” He concluded and stooped down to grab you. One hand at your side and the under scooped under your bottom to haul you up. You did not even wrap a leg around him to help with the carry. He had to hold you laid out across his strong arms and nuzzled against his shoulder and chest. “Stay with the boy, have a maid call for a maester if he starts up with a fever.” The anvil ordered the wetnurse while he carried you out of the room and right up to the maesters study.

Things became significantly more hazy for you after you were quickly put into a soaking tub. So quickly upon the maesters suggestion that you were still in your gown. The maids could not get the soaked strings of your corset undone so Maekar used the blade on his hip to cut it off you eventually.

It got so bad that somebody, most often your husband, had to hold you up in the water so your head did not dip back to far.

“I need to cut Daeron’s hair…” you whispered at one point. Head turned to toward where Maekar was knelt at your bedside. They did not even bother dressing you when he lifted you out, just wrapped a robe around you and tucked the blanket around your sides to settle the shivering. You’d need to go back into the cold bath soon anyways.

“you do not.” Maekar sighed, palm to the hollow spot of your cheek as he swiped your damp hair back. “He can survive a day without you fussing over him.”

“it’s scraggly.” You exhale, even talking took it out of you.

“My lady, you must get this tonic down.” The maester urged and you frowned shaking your head. “It will help the fever break.” He explained and Maekar had his hand in the back of your neck lifting it up so he could hold the cup to your lips and make your drink it down.

“there you go,” he kissed your temple as you coughed a bit from the medicine mixed into the liquid irritating your throat. “We can get you better and then worry about our son looking like a commoner.” He assured you.

You couldn’t even crack a smile. Perhaps some part of you knew you weren’t going to wake tomorrow feeling better. After that first day you were on conscious on occasion, the poppy that Maekar demanded be given to you kept your asleep most of the time because when it wore off you cried and fought and pulled so fiercely at your own hair in a attempt to ease the pain in your head that Maekar was sure the ere going to rip the hair right out.

You remembered little of the weeks, Maekar’s hand running over your tender back, he didn’t talk to you much but his breathing was a comforted his presence alone calmed you. Occasionally you woke when he fought with the maester….and the new one he brought on when you were not better after a week.

You’d been sick for a moon when the septa who came to pray for you suggested that perhaps the older boys could at least be brought in to see you. That it might bring you some comfort and remind you why you needed to be strong and get better.

Maekar had agreed, and after a long discussion with Daeron and Aerion where he made it clear that they wouldn’t be bickering in your presence or whinning or doing anything but being sweet little boys, he brought them to your bedside.

“We miss you.” Daeron said, head pressed into your stomach as he wrapped his arms around you. Aerion stayed closer to his father, not scared exactly but just uncomfortable with seeing you looking so sickly. Maekar understood that, he felt similarly. It was alarming to see the person you loved so deeply, the person who was your home look like death.

“I miss you too my love.” Your hand trembled as it rubbed his back, fingers finding the back of his head and running through his long hair. “You need to listen to your nan for now, keep being my sweet boy and do as she bids.” You remind him.

“okay…” Daeron lifted his head looking up at you “I want you to be better.” He whispered and you nodded weakly, eyes welling up as you turned your chin down towards him.

“I know, I want to feel better to…” you pulled his head in and kissed the crown of his head. “Can you keep being my sweet boy? Keep looking after your brothers until I’m better?” You asked and when he nodded against your neck you sniffled a bit and tried to keep your emotions contained. “I need to get better so we can trim this unruly hair.” You whisper to him and smile slightly when you feel his hand reach back to fix his much too grown out hair.

“your mother needs to rest.” He gently squeezed Aerion’s shoulder and he rushed to the door.

“I love you too Aerion.” You called before Maekar untangled Daeron from your side and led both the boys out of the room.

“Father…” something weighed heavy on Daeron’s shoulders as he walked because he was slower than the other two and kept looking back at your room. “Why was mother not looking at me?”

You hadn’t seen anything since opening your eyes that morning but wouldn’t admit it for another day or so, even after Maekar came in to confront you as gentle as he could.

Maekar Masterlist