EVERYBODY SCREAM !

Someone I Find Attractive: *tells me what to do in a semi-stern voice*

Me:

                     "hey fuckface! wanna play truth or dare? here’s a truth! you’re a sloppy bitch.“

Injured

“Oh shit, are you alright?”

“Dude, I don’t think you’re alright.”

“Blood’s not supposed to be coming from there…”

“That looks broken.”

“Can you move your __?” 

“Are you okay?”

“That doesn’t look good.”

“Who did this?”

“Did you do this to yourself?”

“How did this happen?”

“We need to get you to a hospital.”

“Do you need to go to a hospital?”

“That’s not supposed to bend that way.”

“Do you want me to look at it?”

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse!”

“Stop moving!”

“There’s so much blood.”

“I’ll see if I have a first aid kit.”

“Just… Stay here and I’ll get help.”

“How did you even do this?”

“This happened in a fight?”

“Walk it off.”

“It’s not that bad.” 

“I think you need stitches.”

“You dumbass.” 

Injury

“I think I hurt myself.”

“I can’t feel my __.”

“I think my __ is broken.”

“Shit, that hurts to move.”

“I don’t think I can get up.”

“I’m going to try to get up.”

“Can you go get help?” 

“I need help.”

“I think I’m going to pass out.”

“I don’t think there’s supposed to be that much blood.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I got [shot, stabbed, etc].”

“I can’t walk.”

“I don’t think I need to go to a hospital.”

“I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Stop laughing, this hurts.”

“My last words better not be stupid.”

“That was a dumb idea.”

“Shit, that burns.”

“I’m fine… really.”

“Damn, I can’t get the bleeding to stop.”

“I got into a fight…”

“I feel lightheaded.”

“It hurts to move.”