The Blooodbath so far..

My pup is a trillion times more photogenic than I am so no more selfies. Way more pooch. #odin #husky #pooch

I don't think there's anything really significant about the 40 day mark. It's not a very outstanding amount of time. But 40 days ago I had to make the hardest decision of my life and lost the best thing to ever happen to me. It hasn't even gotten a little bit easier to cope. I never want to see my friends. I never want to go out and have fun. I just work and sleep and, like clockwork on my drive home from work I start to remember things. I've never really considered myself to be an exceptionally emotional person, but this I just can't get passed. Every single time i start to remember things and I just cry. I remember walking to the door and seeing you perk up before i even get to my keys. I remember you running up to the door and jumping over and over until i get inside and you frantically bombard me with tackles and kisses. Then we would play for a while before i showered and changed and you'd sit right at the door the whole time. Then we would lay down and watch tv together before bed. Now when i get to my driveway and walk to the door. There's nothing. No perk. No kisses and jumping and playing. And it fucking eats at me. I hate this feeling. I miss every stupid little memory and I just wish I could bring it all back. I want to stop crying. I want to play again. I want my best friend back.