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Although I am not a physiotherapist or an exercise physiologist, I can confirm that my professional perspective is that there is a psychological component for a physiological representation/ presentation.

  I have suggested to many a patient, that back pain needs to be collaboratively managed with an expert in physiology (i.e. Physiotherapist, chiropractor, exercise physiologist etc.) as well as an individual in the area of psychology (i.e. Psychologist, counsellor, social worker etc.).

  The relationship between mind and body is one and the same, for there has to be an awareness of how the body can directly affect the psychological predisposition, and conversely how psychological thought patterns can impact upon pain sensations in the body.

  My overarching suggestion to those individuals that lead a sedentary lifestyle, is to make sure they are engaging in half an hour of moderate exercise per day. Most individuals that I treat leading a sedentary lifestyle are doing so because of a vacation which leads them to work behind a desk. Along with suggesting half an hour of moderate exercise after work at each day (i.e. Brisk walk, laps of the pool etc.), I suggest intermittent breaks in the work day to enable stretching and the circulation of blood flow (i.e. avoiding deep vein thrombosis) & back management. I also suggest a bolster cushion to be placed at the base of the spine when seated at the desk. Moreover, my suggestions on the physiological are coupled with the suggestion that the individual seek qualified guidance from an expert in physiology.

  After I have made some general suggestions on managing physiology, I then provide some psycho education to the presenting patient about how managing stress will enable a posture to be held which is more relaxed manner and not activating neck muscles in a posture with which is "holding onto" the negative thought patterns.

  I can immediately see an individual that is carrying stress, by the way in which they hold the body posture. Raised shoulders arching up to the earlobes often indicates a level of stress or anxiety. In addition to this, drooped shoulders leaning forward, are often indicative of a depressive mindset.

  The adage I will often apply is "conscious mind conscious living" so if a patient is consciously aware of how the body posture is held, they will be more receptive of metacognition. Metacognition, means thinking about the way we think. When we think about our thought processes, we will then be most aware of how our thoughts lead to harbouring muscle tension and physical pain.

As soon as a child can demonstrate fine motor skills tablets should become a regular teaching tool for children in an academic setting. Namely if a child can pick up a pencil, then they are able to tap on a screen of tablet. There needs to be a limitation on hours accessed to create a balance for that child's neurological and physiological development. For at a younger age children are most benefited from active physiological play as well as the encouragement of "Fantasy Play” - using imagination to create the construct of play. Interpersonal skills development, which is engaging with other children is highly sought after to create social skills training. At this point in our technological advancement, human engineering is not able to replicate the "soft skills” of gauging eye contact & receptiveness of the finer contextualisation of human interaction; spoken tone, intonation & facial expression. When there is not a balance between new technologies (i.e. tablets) and other types of learning strategies, then the tablet can be seen to be the deleterious to the learning experience. 

  New technologies in the form of tablets can be viewed as a distraction from learning if applied incorrectly. Used appropriately, a tablet can enhance the learning experience. The key component tablet utilisation is the tablets software and not so much the hardware - by this I mean, tablet hardware i.e. pixilation, weight and size of tablet is not of primary concern as we have reached a point of technological plateau with hardware. It is the software that can be advanced to enable a greater ease of interaction for a young user to enhance creativity, interaction and moreover, the platform for achieving learning outcomes. 

  To be able to use the tablet and display/ demonstrate sound handwriting skills are as equally important. Handwriting legibility is a must - for handwriting has not been completely replaced within our academic and business lives. It also important that a child can receptively understand and comprehend the handwriting of others - both printing and cursive writing. 

  The cost of tablets could be jointly shared between that of the consumer (i.e. parents) and that of the education provider (i.e. the school/ State and/or Federal budget). 

  It is my professional perspective that tablets will become the norm in all classrooms beginning from as early as prep or pre-prep. It is important that we do not dismiss the reality that children born in this era are technological natives and their interaction with new technologies prior to entry into the educational environment. The collaboration of melding what is occurring outside of the academic setting into the academic setting would enable a fluidity of the educative experience to be logical, reasonable, purposeful and effective. 

I’ve always wanted to work in a career of helping people. I began my career as a community support provider assisting those people who have physical and mental disabilities. I guess you could say that I started at the bottom of the career ladder, however in the role in what could be identified as a lowly position - was in fact one of the greatest lessons that I could have ever learnt in preparation for my career as a psychologist.

  It was the hands-on training that I had providing physical therapy to the individuals with cerebral palsy, Down's syndrome, ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) which enabled me to compliment the academic training I received at University.

  While working in the disability sector as a community access support provider and in home assistance provider, my career in academia began as a tutor for first year students. I then began work as a RA (Research Assistant), and then progressed to tutoring postgraduate subjects, lecturing postgraduate subjects and then finally course convening postgraduate subjects.

  It could be viewed that I have reached the upper echelon of academia and it was from there I decided to apply the academic skills from my university teaching as well as the practical hands-on skills I had acquired working in the disability sector.

  I began working in Psychology private practice in early 2007 and by late 2007 I had opened my own private practice Equilibrium Health. The practice started out as myself as the sole practitioner, to what it is today as a team of half a dozen psychologists working collaboratively together under the banner of Equilibrium Health. And the rest as they say is history...

What would your critique be?

Dr John Gray has authored a series of books that are a spin-off from his best seller “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”. Dr Gray has also been successful in the franchise of the “Men are from Mars” series, to find his suite of books on the New York Times best-sellers list, which has monetised he’s efforts as an author. It could argued that during the 80s and 90s that whatever Dr Gray wrote manifested into scripted gold.

It is with acknowledgement of these facts that I am maintaining my professional perspective that some of the perspectives of Dr Gray are at times fundamentally flawed. Let me explain…

Within relationships Dr Gray maintains that women should be allowed to ruminate (i.e.  stew on things).He says that Men should resist the temptation to solve her problems, Instead sit with her and listen. I fundamentally object to this communication transaction as it encourages rumination, and above all else lack of problem-solving. Without addressing problems within a relationship and individually, a coupled relationship will not be able to attain its greatest level of strength.

  Dr John Gray’s perspective is somewhat black and white, polarising and overly categorising males and females predispositions. Dr Gray states that a woman sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. Conversely a man’s sense of self is divided through his ability to achieve results. Clearly Dr Grey’s perspective is that of generalisations and although his book is not tailored for individual treatment, I have to see that his writing style maybe offensive for those individuals who identify themselves as having more equality of the sexes.

  Some of the greatest strengths In Dr Grey’s writings come from the fact that he is prescriptive in the way he delivers his writings. An example of this would be in the way of “101 Ways to Score Points with a Woman”. Curiously interesting is the fact that there is not a section on 101 Ways to Score Point with A Man. Unfortunately some of the items that are contained within this perspective somewhat antiquated and out dated. An example of this would be; to cut firewood for her, Offer to sharpen her knives in the kitchen, Carry heavy boxes for her. There is an implicit suggestion that men need to be in points with a woman however a woman does not need to endpoints with a man. And the way in which a man would and points with the woman would be through the act of allowing her to feel inadequate and subordinate to him.

  One of the greatest strengths of Dr Grey’s writings is that he encourages man and woman to respect the differences in their gender orientation, which will allow love a chance to blossom. This perspective cannot be argued and as such I am more a proponent of Dr Grey’s writings, than an opponent of it. 

I teach meditation to patients presenting with a myriad of mental health difficulties. The process of meditative breathing correctly then feeds into our psychological & physiological predisposition for maintaining and sustaining a state of "dis-ease". Fundamentally, when the body is in a state of unease, breathing will be shallow and not oxygenating the body on cellular level. When this cellular deprivation of oxygen occurs thought processes will be impacted and the physiology will be sluggish, lethargic & presenting with the pathology of depression. The relationship between mind and body is it best viewed to be the one and the same. With a healthy mindset the foundation of better breathing and nourishment of the mind and body can occur.

Self-confidence is the most attractive and engaging asset that any woman can have to promote themselves not only socially, but in a vocational environment. The construction of self-confidence comes through acknowledging your successes and focusing on materialised milestones as a building block for further accomplishment. Fundamentally, where one’s focus goes, then energy flows - so if you are looking for the ways that you have either made mistakes, had a shortfall and ultimately not succeeded - by virtue of focusing on this, you will in fact encourage more of the likelihood of this outcome. Conversely, when our energies are directed at building your self-confidence, the probability of success occurring increases because your energy being directed at this outcome. Positively promote yourself by surrounding yourself with like-minded people, congratulate yourself on your successes, and give something back to the community and those less fortunate. By asking yourself how you can give more to others you will encourage others to give a selfless contribution back to you. 

Grief is a natural part of our human experience on this planet we could know as “Mother Earth". Whether the grief happens to be the loss experienced on a superficial level, such as not attaining the car park space that we had hoped, to the major grief of the loss of losing a loved one.

  Some people suffer physical effects of grief such as headaches and tummy ache’s, and others will experience more symptoms that are not visible; such as thought disturbance. Each individual's experience with grief and loss is different just as human beings I'm not replicated, so too the grief experience is difference for each person. Determining factors such as age, cultural variables & relationship with the lost loved one can dictate the gravity of grief experience. There are a cluster of symptomatology that would help an individual experiencing and grief and loss to feel connected to others in their experience. Depression is essentially the cognition stemming from remaining stuck in the thoughts of the past. Depression is also known as repressed anger. Anxiety manifests itself from not being cognitively in the present moment and looking towards the future to the point of mal adaption for the here & now. 

  People are most likely to be affected with physical symptoms of grief when affected by significant loss. Physical symptomatology of grief is the body's way of responding and reacting to cognition is (thought processes) that's activate the "fight and flight” response which is the engagement of the limbic brain centre regulating emotions. When the limbic brain region is activated there is a secretion of the stressful hormones adrenaline & noradrenaline which then impact upon the body’s physiological response which is the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. These nerve systems activate & regulate body systems such as heart rate, sweat, saliva secretion. The aforementioned bodily reactions had given rise to such quite colloquial sayings as "sick and tired” & “broken hearted” & “pain in the neck” but to name a few.

  Some individuals it may take some time for true impact of the grief to take effect. It maybe some months down the track before the Individual identifies with their loss. This may have been that the individual consumed themselves with the planning and preparation of saying goodbye to their loved one; namely packing their belongings, funeral arrangements etc. It is well noted in popular psychology literature that the six week mark often signifies the time and which an individual may find the greatest grief response as Friends and family may have disengaged and got on with their lives, only to find their grief process most isolating.

  It is most likely that the symptoms of grief will improve when individual is at this stage of acceptance of the loss. Acceptance is a powerful mindset and is often arrived at through a journey of various emotions states. Marianne Williamson is a grief guru in the world of psychology. Her five stages of grief and widely referenced to detail the process of arriving at acceptance. Marianne’s five stages are as follows; shock/Denial, bargaining, anger, depression then finally acceptance.

  A spiritual perspective allows an individual to conceptualise and makes sense of the loss they are experiencing. So whether it happens to be that science is your religion all religion is your science, a belief system is hugely influential in allowing a person’s mindset to be scaffolded on a system of understanding. I have encourage people to engage in a journey of discovery of their religion; Buddhism, Catholicism, Judaism, Hinduism etc. are all possibilities. With the due respect that the religions deserve, some might find solace in a spiritual perspective which evolves from an evolutionary perspective. What religion has the greatest meaning to the individual will be the most healing for their grief.

  One of the key components that maintained and individual’s stagnation in the grief process is regret. I have witnessed many a presentation which was based around the process of forgiveness and self-forgiveness (at times) of the departed. As death is finite, as we know it, there is that the opportunity to correct wrongs or have another opportunity to say/do what was not said or done. I make the suggestion therefore, to as seemingly possible, each day as though it is your last, and gently remind oneself that we do not get to pick and choose when we say goodbye to our loved ones, and unfortunately, life can take loved ones from us without warning.

  An individual's personality characteristics will dictate the length of time it takes for the emotional pain of grieving to subside. So when an individual focuses on the cultivation of an "Attitude of Gratitude" in their life, and take stock on a daily basis of maintaining and sustaining the connectivity in the human relationships, one is more assured in combating life's inevitable experience of the grief process. 

The number one mental health difficulty which feeds into the majority of most mental health pathology is that of poor self-esteem. Whether the symptomatology is depression or anxiety or stress, there is consistently a component of self-concept or self-esteem which is lacking thereby feeding into the presenting psychopathology.

  Self-esteem is the term used interchangeably with self-efficacy, which essentially means a person’s self-belief in who they are and their place in the world. Self-esteem is the building block of the human psyche. A strong sense of self-esteem would mean that an individual has an internal locus of control. With the internal locus of control and individual assumes responsibility for not only their successes in life, that also their failures. One will hear a person with high self-esteem & internal locus of control by saying such things as; "I studied really hard for the exam so that was the reason why my grade was good” and conversely “I didn't apply myself in study for the exam so that was the reason why I did poorly”.

  Self-esteem can be raised by a number of thought exercises as well as behavioural activations. Some cognitive/thought exercises can centre around Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). This treatment methodology focuses on how our internal dialogue or soft talk feeds into our behaviours. The premise is that by changing our thoughts or cognitions, ultimately our behaviour will change leading to a higher quality of life. Homework exercises ask the user to challenge thoughts by questioning each thought with how logical, how reasonable, how purposeful and how effective the thought is. By then pairing an antecedent or trigger and associating the trigger with the thought process and the associated behaviour, one can become clearer about the environmental cues which are associated with certain unhelpful helpful for patterns. Ultimately the goal of utilising CBT will enable the activation of affirmations and moreover effective cognitions or thought processes.

  Other ways that an individual can raise the self-esteem is by ensuring that their circle of influence (maybe friends and family) a supportive of the individual raising their self-esteem. Another way that can create a different perspective about the fortunate circumstance of an individual's life is by assisting another individual in the community with a challenge greater than their own. By volunteering, and assisting those marginalised individuals in the community greater sense of self-esteem can be yielded. It's important to take stock and reflect over successes, this acts as a friendly reminder to congratulate oneself for successes. As I continuously affirm to patients “Where focus goes energy flows”, so if we focus on our incompetency and failures, this will lead to a lower sensor self-esteem - as opposed to focusing on our successes and building up on our strengths there by encouraging a greater sense of self-esteem.

Success to me means doing what you want when you want and however you want. Naturally my motto of success comes with the proviso that one does not impact upon the health and well-being of themselves and of other people when liberated by the freedom of choice.

  Too often I have seen the Western society confine & restrict the human psyche leeching the thoughts and ideas of limitless potential. When we are born, we come into this world with hope & expectancy that the power of our thoughts when exercised into healthy habits will enable the person to reach any goal that is perceived. When there is a foundation of; a supportive network of friends and family, environmental comfort ability in the form of healthy diet and lifestyle and ultimately sheer determination - I am of the belief that any goal is achievable.

  To actualise a dream an individual needs to practice on a daily basis healthy habits. The habits form rituals, and rituals then become ingrained and entrenched patterns of being. These patterns then become the story of our life. Our story is based upon our perception, and perception is reality. It is a choice as to what perception we will choose, which then feeds into our narrative.

  At times individual will believe that they have cultivated limitless choice through hard vocational work which has created an “empire" and the “business empire” then rules and dictates that persons every decision; from what they will be doing each and every weekend to what type of friends they keep company with. The primary perspective is that we live as a function of work, not live to work.

  Individuals will wear as a badge of honour "I'm so busy these days” as if to be busy is the ultimate. I much prefer the mindset the individuals strive to be as “quiet" as possible which then affords the individual the ability to relax and enjoy each savoured moment of life. It is when we're busy that we do not take heed of the quest which life delivers to teach us our life lessons. For it is when we are in autopilot, that we miss the vital signs of life lessons. If we are here on the planet to learn and grow, attaining a higher state of consciousness and self-actualisation, how can we do this when we're always so “busy”?

  Make it your personal challenge to firstly; Wind back the unnecessary in your life. Whether it be culling your “friends” that no longer challenge and inspire you. Simplify your day today tasks by eliminating those which are not necessary. Constantly question yourself, “What is the end result of this activity that can help to improve my journey of self-discovery?” This might mean that you; disengage with some “friends”, reduce some pointless activities i.e. Facebook trawling, or even discontinue completely some behaviours.

  To the secret of success comes through a mindset of a reality stemming from the perception we choose, how we nominate to spend our time and ultimately the simplification of our daily routine. Start today with the essential task of more conscious decision making to attain a greater perception of honest & sincere success in the human experience.

Emotional health and well-being can be derived from a number of different cognitive (thinking) strategies, however the most commonly referred to methodologies that I impart with individuals that I work with are as follows;

Forgiveness,

Mindfulness &

Positive affirmation.

Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is possibly the most powerful tool that an individual can apply both to themselves and to others. The power of forgiveness is fundamental in releasing blockages within the human physiology. Anger is stored within the liver and the liver acts as the body’s primary cleansing organ so an individual harbouring anger through lack of forgiveness is placing themselves in a precarious situation of physical poor health. The process of forgiveness is derived from understanding that we are are on the planet are all experiencing the human Journey. Some individuals journey will be quite progressed and some individuals will find that a struggle with fundamentally simple acts of humility. Therefore, if the person has wronged you, stating to yourself that “this person is trying to best they can with a limited skills and abilities” will have you on a pathway to forgiveness of others.

The process of forgiving yourself is similarly derived from the acknowledgement that if you knew better that you would have done better at the time. That every perceived failure is an opportunity for growth and development. Just as every success can bring growth, I perceive that it is our failures that ultimately bring us to a point of greatest awareness of our life purpose.

Mindfulness:

Applying mindfulness, is essentially being present in the here and now. It is not overwhelming ourselves with what needs to be done tomorrow, or next year and importantly not living in that yesterday. An analogy that I give in not applying mindfulness is trying to drive a car looking through a rearview mirror. Eventually, you will crash because trying to navigate a car through rearview mirror is not as effective as looking ahead through the windscreen. Ask yourself on a daily basis;  “am I looking forward ahead rather than trying to create a pathway for my life what’s looking back”.

Essentially, anxiety is manifested from living anywhere but here & now, and primarily in the future. Depression, conversely comes from living our lives in the past. I perceive that your mental health salvation will be derved from being still and taking time out to learn from our life experiences, and after having done so, moving your mental state to the present moment, where you are most powerful and creating a compelling future.

Positive affirmation:

Out internal dialogue or self talk is hugely instrumental in directing our behaviours. By applying mindfulness and taking time to listen to what we’re saying to ourselves we’re most able to question the purposefulness, logic, utility and effectiveness of our minds chatter. I am often met with surprise with individuals initial presentation in psychotherapy where I speak of the fact that we all speak to ourselves. There’s been a historical connotation to talking to yourself and insanity. Unfortunately our western lives are too overscheduled that we fail to take time out to listen to our thoughts. by acting as a silent witness’s,  our thoughts are not judging simply observing we’re conditioning ourselves to become most able to Control we have and there for impacting upon our behaviour. Positive thoughts are simply affirmative affirmations, they’re self-help statements that may manifest forgiveness AIDS and a bit in the practice of mindfulness and in general lead to a greater sense of emotional well-being.

Truth be known, I was awarded an art scholarship in my senior years at St Hilda's, and through the positive affirmation I received from my fellow students as well as teachers, I believed that it was natural process that I would further my education in the field of fine arts and eventually become an artist. I was accepted into the Queensland College of Art, and was due to begin my studies after a gap year on retreat youth exchange in Germany. 

  Homesickness?

The year on youth exchange was hugely instrumental in redirecting my life. Upon arriving in Germany in January I found myself to be overwhelmingly the focus of almost every student's attention at my high school. 

Most of my classmates have never met a person outside of the mainland of Europe yet alone Australia. Consequently, I was intriguingly sought after as a friend and English tutor by many of my fellow classmates. 

  Months later into my year as an exchange student, the intrigue and interest in the "Aussie"waned and I was finding it most difficult to maintain a conversation in a second language so I found myself sitting on the periphery of social groups and conversation. Retrospectively, I can now identify that I had  begun to demonstrate the symptomatology of depression, however I passed it off as benign homesickness. 

  Culture Shock? 

The German culture was inspiring and of interest to me when I studied German twice a week at St Hilda's in Australia.Now, once I had lived in the country for a number of months, away from my family for the first time in my life, exposed to the dreary weather conditions of mainland Europe, I was beginning to find the German culture oppressive and rigid. 

  It was in my opinion that, the easy-going nature of us Australians, especially those Australians that originate from the Gold Coast, could be the complete antithesis to that of an average German. A quintessential example of the oppressive and rigid nature of the Germans could be exemplified in my pursuit to play sport. 

  I found that no one at my tennis club was interested in "friendlies" - i.e. hitting the ball for the fun of it with out the desire to keep score. The nature of the Germans to be serious and goal orientated clearly has enabled the country to return from the brink of bankruptcy after the World Wars, to produce what could arguably be the finest consumables in the world (i.e. Think Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Pfizer drug company, and Schaffer pencils). 

  A Weighty Issue!

At the beginning of my exchange I weighed just under 50 kg, and by the end I was hovering around 65 kg. This doesn't sound like much however in relative terms I have gained over 20% of my body weight. This weight gain was the result of Comfort eating, which unfortunately further added to my depressive symptoms. 

  As cliched as it sounds, the positive to come from my depressive episode on youth exchange was the identification that I would be returning to Australia and not studying to become a fine artist, but enrolling in a psychology course to become a psychologist and assist people with their own mental health difficulties. 

  Silver Lining!

So I guess is true, in my personal subjective experience, that as a result of my own experience with depression I was inspired to learn more about it and fundamentally a assist those individuals with their own mental health difficulties. 

  I do not believe that the best psychologists have to have experienced all mental health issues (this is humanly impossible, for one would have the time to study to become qualified), however I do believe that through the true cultivation of empathy, a human is presented with the opportunity to create heartfelt connection with the fellow human beings. 

  Heart Felt Connection To Heal 

As the research indicates that as much as 70% of the treatment outcome in receiving treatment with a psychologist, is attributed to the patient practitioner rapport/relationship, I'm fundamentally appreciative of the pain and suffering that I experienced with my own depressive episode. I understand that my own experience with depression took me to a higher state of consciousness which I would otherwise not have cultivated if it were not able to say that I am a survivor of depression.

I believe that women need to be more confident in their self promotion in the workplace for women are identified within psychometric testing to be more self-effacing then their male counterparts. From this gender dictated predisposition, women will be less likely to self promote their achievements and success stories, thereby aiding to women's invisibility in the workplace.

Many a psychological research article will detail the paradigm of being a female is inherently analogous to that of being a caregiver and nurturer, values that are still held for workplace colleagues over and above the need to caregiver and nature to self. This guise self-sacrifice at the expense of caring for others, does not shift so easily even after such global milestones of female liberation and gender equality in the workplace.

Moving forward from here, there is a requirement for women to be demonstrating self-love in the workplace which can be translated to the behaviour of verbal self promotion, and behavioural inaction of self nomination (if required) so as not to be passed over for promotion. For it is without females in upper managerial roles that we'll see a patriarchal and masculine culture filtered down to all corporate levels, and destabilising the gender balance required for sound business practices demonstrating both the masculine and feminine strengths. 

Helping professions are not isolated to those which interact exclusively assisting and aiding other humans, aka a General Practitioner or nurse. A veterinary surgeon is a classic for example of a helping profession which does not engage exclusively assisting humans, however, requires the practitioner to engage in practices of self-care. When a vet manages their own health they are able to provide the best health management for their patients, namely pets.

The bio-psychosocial

model of mental health management, would see a vet attending to their; 

1) Biological maintenance (i.e. Sleep hygiene, whole food diet, and cardiovascular exercise with interval weight training),

2) Psychological maintenance (i.e. meditation, diarising, psycho-education)

3) Social maintenance (ie Pleasant activity scheduling, engagement in social interaction with others for friendship and connection).

In a profession that draws upon one's internal energy reserves, there is also a need for that individual to focus on the spiritual development - what ever spirituality happens to mean for the individual. Whether science is your religion or religion is your science, one’s ability to see a greater meaning to life will enable the individual to maintain and sustain their motivation to aid in the well-being of other lives. 

Some suggestions that I have made in coaching individuals with working beside a mean colleague:

1) Smother them with kindness. Is difficult for a individual to maintain and sustain negativity towards you if you are consistently responding with honest and sincere humility and compassion. If this is challenging for you, simply start by a pleasant, but brief "good morning" and last of the day "goodbye". As much as it will be the antithesis of the individuals behaviour towards you, this is sincerely what life is about we are tested - this person is testing your resolve to maintain your happiness in the face of their unhappiness.

  2) Sympathise with the bully. Quite simply, a person that is happy does not bully others. A bully is simply projecting their own internal unhappiness onto other people. The internal dialogue for the bully would be at a subconscious or subliminal level that "I am unhappy and my happiness is drawn from seeing other people unhappy which then allows me to make sense of my world". Therefore, the bully wishes to see you unhappy so as not to feel isolated and alone in their, experience of unhappiness. Try to understand that the bullies human experience is not going as they would wish for, and that they are hurting and wish for you to hurt.

  3) Cognitive re-frame. Placing a different perspective over our perception enables us to see Life through the eyes of another individual or context. Cognitive re-framing has its roots in acceptance and commitment therapy. An example of this process is looking at the bully as being an actor in a movie. The movie is about a workplace bully, and you had been cast in the movie as the workplace colleague that initially is subject to the workplace bullying and rises above the bullying. However you decide to end the movie is completely in your hands, you may choose to respond and react a plethora of different ways; the victim, the retaliator or you may choose to act with dignity and grace.

Being the owner and operator of a small business there are many stressful and anxiety provoking issues you will be confronted with on a daily basis. The last thing you wish to be confronted with, first thing in the morning, is what you're going to wear for the day. My simple advice is to “keep your business life and your wardrobe simple”.

I have been aversive much of my life in reaching for the black coloured item when making a purchasing choice, however, life has afforded me the learning that in keeping your wardrobe monochromatic - mainly black and white, there is generally less stress involved when trying to coordinate your clothing for the day. Black it might be associated with a less than ideal subculture, however, Black has many issues which cannot be ignored;

1) It's slimming

2) With the correct detergent it maintains its colour

4) It requires less frequent washing as it can mask minus stains and use.

5) Its a fashionable colour season after season

  Identify what your "signature colour” is and add that to your wardrobe consideration, which will then total three colour combinations; black, white and your signature colour. A simple yet effective wardrobe, reducing the stress and bother with trying to coordinate pieces from different designers and seasons.

  Some hard and fast rules for the business owner’s wardrobe;

1) Avoid bold prints and instead opt for signature jewellery pieces (i.e. necklace, scarf, cufflinks, tie) which can immediately update a look and keep it on trend for the current season.

2) Avoid fads and avant-garde fashion pieces for they will quickly date and can be identified as being purchased at an identifiable time period, immediately leaving the customer or client with an opinion of your shopping and spending habits. Instead opt for classic cuts and tailored pieces, which leave people guessing as to when it was acquired.

3) Insure that clothing is mended and altered, immediately that it is identified as requiring so. This will then have the piece utilised, and not fall to the back of the cupboard, unused and forgotten.

  The premise behind the small business owner's wardrobe, is one of functionality and sustainability. Functionality stems from the concept of wardrobe combinations and choices that are effortless to enable the business owner to make the larger decisions when work has begun. Sustainability stems from the concept of a small business owner, should be reinvesting in the business as "money makes money”, therefore spending money on a fashion wardrobe is money that can be better spent on business development.

Step one; thoroughly research the service providers in your local area through a Google search and by asking and engaging with other individuals who've accessed a similar service provider. Remember that the best and most transparent service review will be from an individual who has nothing to gain from honest and transparent advice.

  Step two;  After ascertaining 3 to 4 service providers that have made your shortlist, make initial e-mail or phone contact questioning the service providers of the area of expertise that the particular psychologist may have and level of experience, confirm that the psychologist is registered with AHPRA and is a member of the APS.

  Step three; After engaging the psychologist for a period of sessions. Seek out a second opinion which may confirm and validate, or may leave you with further questions you may wish answered, returning you to step one. 

http://www.facesoffriendship.com/guests/top-tips-on-creating-strong-female-friendships/ by Emma Howard