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✩ a/n — this sick freak of a man. but also! maybe this is ooc, sorry :3
✩ word count — 790
✩ content — zodyl typhon x reader, crack fic lowkey?, nickname 'my love' used, uh...yeah idk, not proofread
✩ synopsis — Zodyl Typhon was feared across the land. But not in your kitchen. Not under your roof.
── .✦ my love is mine all mine
Zodyl Typhon was feared across the land.
The name alone was enough to send people bolting in the opposite direction, wetting their pants, or—on particularly unlucky days—both. A walking terror. A nightmare with a pulse.
…But not in your kitchen.
Not under your roof.
Not when you had your hands on your hips and a dishtowel slung over your shoulder like a loaded weapon.
You squinted down at the kitchen sink, a mix of horror and betrayal washing over you like cold water.
Lying right there, like some sick joke, was a single crunchy brown leg.
Twitched slightly when the light hit it.
You didn’t move.
Didn’t breathe.
The only sound was the quiet clink of your spoon dropping into the sugar bowl.
“…Zodyl,” you called, voice eerily calm.
From the living room came a gruff, distant, “Yes, my love?”
“Come here.”
Heavy footsteps. The floor shook. Like the approach of an incoming boss fight.
He turned the corner, hair messy, arms crossed casually over his broad chest, an expression on his face that any sane person would fear.
“Yes?” he asked, voice gruff and affectionate. He was already smiling when he saw you.
You pointed to the sink. “What is that?”
He followed your gaze. The smile twitched. Froze. “…A bug?”
“A leg, Zodyl. A half-eaten bug leg in my clean sink.”
You turned to him, deadly serious. “Is there a reason there’s half of a roach and not the whole thing?”
He blinked slowly. Then, as if trying to be romantic about it, he said:
“…I saved you the crunchy part?”
You stared.
He was trying to be sweet.
You nearly threw a spatula at him.
“Zodyl Typhon! You absolute menace of a man—why are you eating bugs when I just made brownies?!”
“They’re very good bugs,” he mumbled like a guilty child, rubbing the back of his neck. “But your brownies are good too, my dear. Divine.”
“You had a roach for lunch!”
Zodyl looked like he’d rather face twenty armed men than deal with your kitchen fury.
He towered over most people, but right now he shrunk under your stare like a scolded mutt.
“I told you,” you said, finger jabbing into his chest, “if I find one more insect wing, feather, or beady little eye on my utensils, you’re eating nothing but salad and sadness for a week.”
Zodyl visibly paled. “…No meat?”
“No meat.”
“…Even if it’s, like. Street meat?”
“No roach meat either!”
Zodyl let out a long, mournful sigh that sounded like a foghorn. “You wound me, my love.”
You folded your arms. “You wound me every time I find a leg in my dish rack!”
To the outside world, Zodyl was unstoppable. Unflinching.
He didn’t fear death.
Didn’t flinch at blood.
Could punch a wall and make it apologize.
But to you?
He was a grumbling, sulky, overgrown bug-boy who obediently chewed on the sandwich you handed him while you glared across the table like a disappointed god.
“…What’s in this?” he asked quietly, chewing.
“Turkey. Swiss. Honey mustard. And the love of your life,” you replied, taking a sip of tea.
“Which you will lose if you ever eat a beetle on my clean countertop again.”
He nodded solemnly. “Understood, dear.”
“Say it.”
“No more bugs unless I’m dying.”
You raised a brow.
“…Or unless you say I can.”
You smiled sweetly. “That’s better.”
It was often when some people would hear you scolding Zodyl, and I mean often.
“I was checking if it was alive—”
“Zodyl, it was moving.”
“But it—”
“It had antennae!”
Zodyl didn’t even resist.
Just let you yank him back into the house while mumbling “Yes, my love,” “You’re right, my love,” “I’m sorry, my love” like a broken record.
Fu blinked slowly. “Is he… okay?”
Jabber snorted. “No, he’s married.”
Later that week, you caught him again—this time crouched in front of the open fridge, eyeing a slice of your cake with the same expression most people reserved for stolen treasure.
“…You’re not putting anything in the cake, are you?” you asked from the doorway.
Zodyl whipped around, startled. “No! Of course not. I’d never defile your baking, my love.”
You squinted at him.
“…Ever again,” he added quickly.
You sighed, walked over, and handed him a fresh slice. “Eat this. And wash it down with something that doesn’t have wings.”
Zodyl took the plate like you’d given him a holy relic.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said sincerely.
“You don’t.”
But you kissed his cheek anyway.
Because at the end of the day—roach snacks and all—Zodyl was yours.
And you were his.
Queen of the kitchen. Keeper of the sandwiches. Slayer of bug cuisine.
a/n - just a thought I had and decided to write something
Dating Zodyl wasn't bad at all, he might be a quiet lover, but he still treated you like this darling. That's all that ever mattered. ⠀
Awkward things sometimes would happen due to the diet he has, the guy eats incests and bugs. . It doesn't fail to make you sick every single time you remember. But it doesn't stop you from kissing him.⠀
Currently, the both of you were kissing, he never really indicated the kisses or touches really, but he never pulled away if you did. You started out with a simple kiss that turned into a bit more.⠀
Your tongue ended up in his mouth, it was getting heated and then you felt something. Obviously, you were confused on what it was so you pulled back, breaking the kiss. ⠀
Zodyl immediately leaned back to look at you better, confused on why you pulled back. He didn't really express emotions with his face but you were smart and knew him long enough to tell that he was confused. ⠀
"You have something in your teeth." You spoke, wanting to clear up the confusion.⠀
"Oh." Zodyl responded before he reached into his mouth to pull it out, it was a fucking roach leg. ⠀
You felt sick by the sight, you were kissing this man while he had a roach leg stuck in his mouth?? Absolutely disgusting. ⠀
Zodyl was confused as to why you felt this way, he didn't see what was gross about it. People always got food stuck in their teeth. "You are being dramatic." His quiet voice spoke as a response to your reaction. ⠀
"I don't exactly prefer knowing the fact you had a roach in your mouth before I kissed you." You sighed.⠀
You found this all disgusting in every way possible, Zodyl didn't.
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