Faangirl101

“Okay everyone!”, a voice broke down the walls you were trying to close yourself into. You raised your eyes, blinked the irritation away, and put on your best optional smile. The producer of the show, Carl Bankstrop, was standing on a chair. His head was raised high, almost as he declared himself king on the wobbling excuse for a stool. The gray hair on top of his head was desperately slicked back to hide the evidence of aging. But the bald spot shined through the thin hair, slicked with sweat. He raised his thin fingers with a demand for silence. The room immediately obliged and fell into a silence that could be cut with a knife. Suspense hung thickly in the air as he waved the stack of papers carefully folded in his clammy hand. “I know we are a few days behind schedule”, his voice boomed with a put on confidence that shined through his character “but the delay is finally over. I want to thank the actors and everyone helping on set for being patient. My coworkers will hand out the new and improved scripts now”. A petite man, shrunken by age, waddled across the floor with new polished Italian shoes while grumbling nonsense. His hand left sweaty fingerprints on the scripts handed out. His cloudy eyes met yours for a second before handing you the script. It was warm in your hands, evidence of the tight grip he'd had on it. Licking the top of your finger, ignoring the intrusive thoughts of the bacteria covering them, you started rifling through the yellow tinted pages. Dylan's character Baron included all the lines. Damp finger turned the next page. Baron. And then the next. Baron. Your eyes didn't need to sweep over the page for more than a second to turn it again. They had removed half your lines, making more space for Dylan. Even more place. You would be placed in most scenes, legs crossed and a worrying frown on your face. The emotional background character. The woman.

With a primal growl accompanied with the urge to throw a fit you stood up. Your legs took you to the producer, still on his king chair. Hands were shaking in rage as you tried your best to put down the beast threatening to escape you. With a monotone and clear voice you spoke “why is my lines removed”. Carl was still stiff on his chair before he looked down. The act of having to raise your head to look at him once again reminded you of your spot. The woman. The beast fled before you could regain control. “All my lines are given to Dylan. I've worked hard on them. You cannot delay the planning only to spit on my hard work, Carl. Honestly, I don't want to be the one to say it, this movie will not come close to passing the bechdel test”, the tone you used was louder than you intended. Carl looked taken back at your outburst, face twitching like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. His hand was placed on your shoulder. His clammy fucking hand placed on your shoulder. He tried to give a reassuring squeeze but the both of you knew it was patronizing. “Y/n, Please”, he pleaded without much sympathy “don't give us more problems. The lines simply did not fit your character. The bechdel test is just a tool to put down producers and is outdated”. The beast roared, paws dragging in the sand. You pointed your finger at him, hoping to convey him with any kind of threatening message “this movie is outdated. You did not fix anything, you didn't even add anything”. He dropped his hand with a frown. Still on the chair he proceeded to kneel, like if he was concealing a child. “We did add something. A scene for you. Page 7, darling”, he gave you a soft smile while nodding slowly. He was trying not to aggravate you. With furrowed brows you started looking through the script again. Page 5, 6 and…..7. Your mouth dropped as the scene that was presented to you. “I- you”, you were at a loss for words “you added a sex scene?! That was your idea of a scene for me?! And yes of course this fits my character, a child of trauma that can barely sustain as much as a hug without breaking an arm, will be having sex. Yes of course”. Somewhere in the back of your mind you realized this was pointless. You’d had similar conversations more times then you could count. The end result was never in your favor. The beast was tired. The beast was weak. You were nothing but a background character. With that your turned on your heels and stomped off. You heard Greg shout something in lines of “atta girl, you got this” but the rational part of your brain scrambled it into nothingness. Fucking hell.

The trailer was cold. The walls creaked of the violent wind swallowing it up from the outside. It swayed slightly,not built for the harsh weather of kansas. The bitter air made the steam from the tea look like smoke escaping a forest fire. If you want any warmth from the tea whatsoever you have to drink it up quickly. Nothing stayed warm in this god forbidden trailer. Curled up in an armchair, so used you almost sank through it, you did the same thing you'd done for the last hour. Rereading the sex scene. You had been so angry earlier you hadn't even realized which costar you would share the cot with. Dylan. The image of you and Dylan rolling around between sheets, huffing and puffing like the bad wolf, was laughable. The threatening feeling of warmth in the depths of your stomach was quickly put out with the tea. Dammit, it had gone cold. The distraction didn't last for long as your mind wandered back to your earlier thought. Yes of course Dylan was attractive. He was annoyingly charming and could make an entire room turn their head. That wasn't the point. The only reason you even felt unsure about the sex scene was beacuse it had been so long. Not only since you filmed a similiar scene but also since you had sex. It had been a busy year and you didn't not have any openings in your calendar for… bonking.  You snorted out loud, concealing the laugh, as you continued reading the script. It was just a scene. Just acting. Nothing at all out of the ordinary. But to your defence you had never done a scene with this level of…. intimacy. How you were supposed to act out him with his face burrowed between your thighs was completely beyond you. The warmth made an unwelcoming return and you knew it was pointless trying to stop it. The imaginary vision of having Dylan between your legs was too hard to fight off. His hair would be a mess after your ruthless fingers would have clamped onto it for support. Your slick would be painted his mouth as he dove back in. Would he growl at your taste? Maybe spit down your slit to add even more lubrication? Would his eyes shine of that beautiful honey brown or would the pupil be dilated to a primal coal black? Would his long thick fingers scissor your pulsating opening? Preparing you for his big… You slammed the script down as your heartbeat raised itself to your eyes. You got dizzy as you felt your blood start to stream downwards. You had to get your shit together. This sudden vision, sudden.. want, was just another shit on your shit mountain. You had to work through it. Rubbing the space between your eyebrows roughly wasn't any help. It didn't erase the image that seemed to have made itself a nonconsensual prisoner of your mind. Honey brown or coal black.

A sudden knock on your trailer took you back to reality as you shook the thoughts off you. Even if the visitor hadn't seen you, seen what you were thinking, you were still embarrassed. It made you feel like a child caught with their hand down the cookie jar. You stood up on wobbling legs and cleared your throat. Without another thought of your earlier activities you opened the door. Motherfucker. Dylan O'brien. Of fucking course he had to slip his hot ass to your trailer as your slick was ruining your panties. It was as if he knew. His cocky smile didn't help your suspicions as you narrowed your eyes. “Y/n”, the way he said your name directly to you did not have any business making your tummy twirl. “Dylan”, you leaned against the doorframe “what do i owe the pleasure of a visitation from our biggest star”. His mouth fell slightly before he quickly composed himself. A wave of guilt swiped over you as you realized how distasteful your comment came out. You quickly interrupted him before he had a change to say anything else “i'm sorry, that was dumb. I've had a shitty day. Please come in, do you want a cup of tea?”. His eyes lit up as he cleared his voice. His body language suddenly seemed nervous as the confident frame dropped. “Yes thank you, that would be great”, his voice came out too husky for your liking. You tried to ignore how his tone suddenly had an impact on your own body. “I only have earl grey, does that work?”, that you felt dumb over somehing as simple as your lack of tea types were pissing you off. This wasn't you. This dumb script, dumb scene, was messing with your head. You turned your back to him, hands shaking over the teapot. Anything for him not to see the blush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. The sound of the door closing, the eruption of the wind blowing outside, was all that reached your ears. You thanked past you for having two teacups in your house as you stood on your pinky toes to reach the second cup. Before your fingertips could grasp the chinaware another set of larger fingers joined you. You could feel the warmth of his arm as he reached over you to grab the cup. The heat of his frame radiating to your back as you fought every urge to lean into his touch. The thought of having his hard front pressed against your back was so tempting you had to grasp the sink not to give in. His hand lowered, placing the cup in front of you. His smell hit you before he took a step back. Dark oak swallowed in a deep fragrance of something familiar tickled your nose. Maybe a splash of whiskey with something sweeter like vanilla or maybe lilly. You had to collect yourself, praying to every god he didn't notice what his actions were doing to you. How just his smell was affecting you. “Thanks”, was all you could muster but it came out raspy and low. You weren't even sure if he had heard you. Against every protesting braincell you turned towards him. He looked relaxed, back leaned against the wall with crossed arms. The second he had your eyes he opened his mouth “about the script. I had no idea what they were thinking, I tried talking to Gary but he was convinced you had sent me against my will”. You snorted and laughed at that, thinking of poor Dylan with his tail between his legs threatened by you. The laugh seemed to ease the tension and you felt trust in your own voice again “Yeah, I tried talking to him too. He thought the lines fitted better with your character”. He snorted at that with a frown occupying his full lips “bullshit. It doesn't fit my character whatsoever. They're just flushing this whole project down the drain by now”. You nodded in agreement, surprised about how conversation seemed to flow so easy with him. A comfortable silence fell as you both stood still. The only thing not making it awkward was the sound of boiling water from the tea pot. He was the one to break through the stillness “I actually wanted to talk to you about our scene”. You hoped he didn't notice how your whole body froze up as your veins turned to ice. A lump of anxiety proceeded to make its way up your body.

Guilt over your previous thoughts came back. Did he know? Know you had been thinking about him between your legs? No, how could he possibly know that… Maybe he did. Before your violently loud thoughts could continue their rambling he continued “I was just wondering if you wanted you to go over it with me?”. The unnecessary anxiety calmed down but just for a second. You swallowed the lump in your throat and decided to go for humor “then we may need something stronger than tea”. The laugh that left his lips was beautiful as it echoed through the trailer. Every dream, every possible wish for life you'd ever had, was replaced with the urge to make him laugh again. It flowed through your stream like ecstasy as you couldn't hold back the wide grin consuming you. Through his laugh he succeeded to get some words in “yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea”. You joined his laugh and opened another cupboard. The want, no, the need for him to reach above you again like before was so strong you could feel it in your toes. “Wine or are you thinking stronger?”, you asked, hands moving across the impressive amount of bottles you had on the shelf. He drummed his fingers against the kitchen table “it's leaning against stronger”. You nodded agreement, imagining being able to go through a sex scene with Dylan obrein without a needed amount of promille in your blood. “Good call”, your hand grasped the single malt renaissance whiskey  proudly prodding at the front of your bottles. “Unfortunately”, you screwed off the top as you were engulfed in the strong alcoholic scent “the only clean dish i have is the cups so we have to use them”. He laughed again which brought another swarm of wild fluttering butterflies through your belly. His large hand swallowed the smaller cup as he leaned forward towards your stance. “Nothing says an expensive single malt whiskey as a star wars cup”. You laughed and chose to ignore how close he was. You could easily lean in and press your nose to the soft bronze skin under his chin. As gracefully as you could, which turned out wasnt that graceful, you poured the swirling beverage down the two cups. Both of you made your way towards the couch, a silent agreement that this was best done sitting down. You couldn't help but to sneak a peek at him. He had taken off his actor makeup and clothing and was dressed in a more relaxed dressing. A washed out dark brown hoodie with a barely visible mets symbol on his chest paired with black jeans. On anyone else it would look relaxed, simple. Somehow he wore it like it was the runway. The way the jeans hugged his thighs and.. bulge should not be considered legal. You forced your eyes up to his face. That didn't really help either. You hadn't really noticed the small moles covering his face, or the way his cheekbones curled his face shape. To come to think about it, you had never sat down simply to admire him. Something his looks very much did deserve. Nervously you gulped down half of the cup, anything to make your heart slow down. He licked his lips, an action that did not go unnoticed by you. “I was thinking”, he mumbled between sips “that we could practice and kind of agree on how to do the scene”. You took another mouthful, never leaving the eyeconnect. “I have done these scenes before”, you lowered the cup “but this one is more intimate then i'm used to so i'm a bit nervous to be honest”. He smiled sweetly, eyes softening. A flash of recognising flashed in his honey orbs as he continued to sip from the whiskey. “No need to be nervous”, that only continued to add to the nervousness building in you. Desperate to calm down a bit, you swiped the last of the whiskey. The effects of the alcohol finally seemed to catch on as you felt the familiar warmth move from your stomach to your hands. You could feel the fire spark in your fingertips as the negative emotions in you slowly sailed away. He was right. There was no need to be nervous. You smiled, feeling the alcohol pull your cheeks “you know what, you're right”. He put down his cup and you got the feeling that you should

mirror his actions. The cups both connected with the table in a shared ‘clink’ as you didnt drop eye contact. You could see he was starting to feel affected as well from the relaxed drop of his shoulders and his cloudy swimming eyes. “From the beginning?”, you asked, wiping your dampness from your hands off at your pants. He nodded, closing his eyes swiftly. When he opened them he wasn't Dylan any more, he was Baron.  It had never crossed your mind before how much of a difference it was between the two of them. They both shared Dylan's good looks, but the surrounding energy and aura was strikingly different. You straightened your back, letting your hands move carefully to your sides. Eyes hardening as you took his lowered eyebrows in. They casted a shadow across his face in such a magnificent way you almost broke character. “You knew it was pointless”, his voice suddenly boomed, shaking the fragile air around the two of you. He did it with such ease, the emotions behind the words, it made you forget he was following a script. You swallowed thickly, feeling your head dance in warmth from the whiskey. “Stop”, you uttered behind hardly closed teeth. You closed your fists in a protective manner. The fact you could stay in character and not jump his bones immediately impressed even the drunk state you. “No”, he growled, actally fucking growled “you shut the fuck up and listen”. Potentiel arguments your character held backed down, you could feel how she felt. Confused. “You knew damn well it was pointless. But you didn't care. You risked our entire troop just for a selfish fucking need”. Irritation rose to the surface as you had to remind yourself he was acting. You purse your lips, heaving your chest in and out. “No you fucking listen. I did not risk shit, except my own life. The dumbass troop were safe, you were fucking safe. Don't you dare call me selfish as if you aren't doing this whole operation for a fucking award”. He furrowed his eyes as his forceful fist reached out to grasp your blouse. The action was not scripted, contributing a real reaction from you. You were almost certain he could feel your violently beating heart under his knuckles. “You don't know shit, you hear me. Not a single shit. You're a brat, someone needs to put you in your fucking place. Just shut up”. You couldn't hold back the way your body fluttered at his words. You pressed your thighs together, something you were sure he had to notice. Another wave of wetness engulfed your poor ruined panties. Your mouth was agape, plush lips breathing heavily. Something in his eyes told you he knew you were not acting anymore. You would be absolutely red with embarrassment, desperately wanting to hide in a hole, if you weren't so affected by his words accompanied with the whiskey. You decided to follow his tracks, go rogue. Go off script. You smiled drunk of lust for the man sitting right in front of you “make me”.

Before you could react he was pulling your blouse aggressively until your mouths clashed together. The lingering taste of the whiskey bloomed in your mouth as you immediately deepened the kiss. You knew there were rules for this. How to kiss on screen. But every single one of them seemed to be forgotten as you lips wrapped around the wet muscle in his mouth and sucked. The same tongue you had imagined swiping over your folds was now in your mouth. He groaned in return, something that sent another wave of excitement down your adrenaline pumped body. His hand left your blouse only to grasp the nape of your neck. He pushed you closer, if that was even possible. Lost in the taste of his mouth, the haze of lust and alcohol, you pushed yourself onto his lap. His hand immediately supported your position with pushing fingers on the small of your back. Still very much in character he broke the kiss to move his hand to your throat. He didn't hold tightly, but gave a reassuring squeeze. “Should put you in your fucking place”, he muttered before meeting your eyes. You saw the second his character fell as his hand swiped some hair stuck to the sweat on your forehead. “You okay?” he whispered, like if the camera was actually on you. You nodded too fast, hands supporting your shape on his chest. “Tell me if you want to stop”, he demanded as you saw a flash of Baron across his appearance. “Yes”, you gasped, voice thicker than usual “i'm okay, please”. You didn't know what you were asking for but Dylan seemed to understand. In a second he was Baron again, clashing your mouths together. His hands moved down your shape, stopping at your waist abruptly before moving up again. The acting, the character, damn the entire scene was completely lost to you as you leaned into his touch. Without a single doubt in your mind you dragged your hips across his, grinding your crotch down. You quit the kiss to gasp, surprised at the hard length desperately trying to be released under you. “Fuck”, he muttered under his breath as he leaned in and started tracing kisses down your jawline. You repeated the action, making sure to drag your hips teasingly slow. It wasn't meant to be a tempt, you just wanted to savor the feeling. Before you could move again he had you on your back with him hovering over you. His lips pursed as a familiar fire engulfed his dark eyes. “You’re always such a fucking brat”, he started pulling up his hoodie in a quick paze. You followed the new skin being exposed, licking your lips at the ideas popping up. You wanted to trace your tongue up the same path  his fingers were pulling the material. You tried to lean up, test your idea, but he immediately pushed you down again. “No you don't get that”, he muttered, finally pushing the garment off him. Without thinking about it you whined as you saw his fully exposed upper body. His skin showed faint evidence of a t-shirt out in the sun on his sunkissed arms. But what caught your interest was the dark trail of hair  heading down his torso. It was like an arrow to the visible hip bones above the pants. A direction for you to follow. He gave you a warning eye, and you understood what he was indicating. No touching. His fingers rubbed the material of your blouse, as if to check how the material felt. You nodded, a silent consent which seemed to emidelty spur him on. He ripped the material, making buttons shot out like cartridges across the rooms. Too into the scene you did not notice, did not even care about the state of your shirt. He nodded your hips with his hands, signalising to lift them up, which you immediately obligated. “So responsive”, he mumbled, making you realize he was still following the script. It should not have made you shiver in anticipation, knowing he was still on duty. Something about him still doing the scene, which obviously isn't the goal anymore, was weirdly enough sexy. You knew what was supposed to happen. He wiggled your pants off your thighs, pretending as if his knuckles accidently touching your exposed skin wasn't intentional.  You looked up on him suddenly

feeling shy, knowing he was almost fully dressed and you were left in barely covering underwear. He seemed to sense the hesitation as he grasped both of your knees and pulled them apart “don't hide from me”. You realized you couldn't explain this away later. No, your fully drenched paintes showed you werent acting, making any explanations useless. Dylan, on the other hand, seemed to apprective this. One look down your seperated legs and you swore you could see his eyes darkened further. “Is this all for me?”, he cooed, patronizing your submissive state. A devious idea set in your mind as you looked up through your eyelashes. You licked your dry lips while making sure you had an unbreakable eye contact before mumbling “all for you Baron”. He did not like that. Before you could react he was cupping your mound, still determined to keep eye contact. His lips were pursed hard, muscles flexed in his arms. It looked like he was on the last strain of self control. “Tell me to stop”, his voice was husky and an octave deeper than usual “tell me to stop and we can pretend like none of this happened tomorrow”. The idea was shattering, making your heart jump in fright. That was the last thing you wanted. You wanted your drench panties to never leave his mind, to ruin him for any girl after you. Just the thought of another girl spreading her legs for him made a jealous possessive nature move your mouth. “Don't you dare stop” you leaned your head to the side while cooeeing similar to how he had done “or maybe i'll go see if anyone else can train a brat like me”. His response was sudden, as his hand slapped down the outside of your panties making contact with your clit. Understimulated you arched your back, chasing the contact. But just as fast as the touch had comed it also left. You whimpered at the loss of his hand, feeling your pussy clench around nothing. “what was that?”, he snarled as he waved his hand teasingly. Ready to submit to him, forget about your teasing, you dropped the brat act. Anything to get his hands back on you. “Please”, you whimper, feeling desperate as you can't even muster a whine. “Please what?”, he teased with his hand hovering over your sensitive mound again. You could feel the body heat of it, so close to where you wanted him. “Please, don't stop”, you looked up at him before adding “Dylan”. That seemed to do the trick as his hand slapped down the same sensitive spot again. This time you let out a guttural moan, not at all as desperate or fake as you usually moaned. “Look at you”, he muttered, letting his eyes ravish the sight of you spread out “where did all that attitude go, huh?”. Before you could snap back a witty response his hand slid down the wet material. Feeling the pressure of his fingers so close to your hole was enough to break you. “What do you want?”, he asked teasingly. You should have been angry at him for dragging this out. But the need to please him, to get what you wanted at last, was enough to cancel it out. “I want your fingers, please. Been thinking of you between my legs ever since we got the script”, where the sudden knowledge of how to create a whole sentence came from was nothing you could grasp. The need for him making you bare all your thoughts, leaving everything out on display, was humiliating. He hummed, content with your answer. His finger continued to tease the flimsy material of the side of the panties as if he was considering taking them off or not. “Tell me”, he slid his fingers down the material before repeating it again “tell me what you were thinking”. You gulped, memories of your previous thoughts washing over you. Before you could stop yourself you continued to unveil your thoughts “If you would spit down my clit so i would get even wetter. If your hair would be messy when I gripped it as you ate me.If you would scissor me open on your fingers to prepare me for your big..”. Before you could finish the sentence he interrupted your train of words by slipping his fingers inside the panties. When you finally got him where you wanted him you couldn't hold back the

whimper leaving your bitten down lips. “Fucking filthy”, he groaned while keeping his fingers still “did you think about this right before i came here. Or maybe you were still thinking about it as you decided to turn around and show me your perfect backside while grabbing tea”. Nodding, you know there was no point in trying to prove him wrong. He finally slipped the panties of your legs, throwing them behind his shoulder. You fought the urge to close your legs at the sudden intimacy, knowing he wouldn't like it. His eyes were stuck on your wet glistening folds, presenting themself perfectly for him. “You've been so good for me now” he praised, something that didn't fail another wave of wetness against the exposed folds “you deserve an award”. That was the last thing he said before getting down comfortably, probing himself up on his elbows. Now with his face itching from your wanting heat he meets your eyes. You couldn't help but to smile at the answer to your previous unconscious question. His normally honey orbs were engulfed in coal black darkness. The pitch black dilated pupils kept harsch contact with yours as he leaned down. Hot breath made contact with your heat, so close but yet so far. Before you could utter any complaints his hand that wasn't gripping your thigh reached for your hand. Curiously you watched him move both of your hands to his head. When it finally clicked, you grabbed onto his messy dark hair and whimpered at the realization. Before you could utter another word he dived down.

His tongue immediately made contact with your bundles of nerves making you let out a silent scream. You roughly scraped across his scalp and he groaned in response. Full lips closed around your clit and sucked it into your mouth, making waves of pleasure move down your insides. The noises he was making was obscene, the combination of his wet tongue ravishing your even wetter cunt with the groans you were both making was something out of a dirty movie. “Taste better than i expected” he said, mostly for himself “a fucking delicasy”. He travelled his tongue downwards before pushing it as far as he could into your hole. The filthy vision of his wet muscle in your quivering hole made you push his face closer. He explored your warm walls, licking up every bitter sweet escence you were ready to give him. When he backed away you sighed at the loss but before you could react he got back to abusing your poor clit. He bit down on the soft skin, making pain and pleasure twirl together deliciously in the depths of your stomach. The hand gripping your thigh left its position to join his mouth. You could feel the pad of his fingertip slowly edging itself into your whole, probing every sensitive spot inside of you. He didn't stop the slow pace until he had hit his hand to the hilt and couldn't reach any further. “You’re right. Il have to prepare you if i want to fit”, he muttered before forcefully sucking down your clit again. The indication that he would be deep inside you later, that he had to prepare you for his thicker member, made you moan out loud. His finger finally started to move, exploring your cave until he found… Another guttural scream left your dry throat as his pad came in contact with the spongy spot deep inside of you. That was all the evidence that he found your sweet spot he needed as he proceeded to curl his finger upwards. You hadn't even noticed that your legs were shaking next to his dived down head. He finally stopped his teasing as he went for a steady hard pace accompinted with his expert tongue and curling finger. Lost in the haze he provided, you gripped his messy hair for dear life. Chuckling darkly at your actions, you could feel the vibrations against your sensitive clit. Another finger joined him, easily slipping in thanks to the wetness surrounding them. The perfect curve and push of his tongue was all that was needed to throw you unexpectedly over the edge. With small huffs of moans you bucked against his face as your body was swallowed up by the pleasure. Energy swirled through you as you felt the hard coil in your body combust. Your vision went dark interrupted by flimmering light as your body continued to shake in his grip. The overpowering ecstasy continued to hug and kiss your veins as he licked and fingered you through your climax. It went on for longer than anything you've ever felt, it wasn't close to any orgasm you've ever given yourself. Finally your body slumped back, exhausted by the overpowering pleasure he had brought down on you. Heavy breaths interrupting your normal breath pace as you were desperately trying to catch your breath. After what seemed like an eternity

you finally came back, noticing how he was still coaxing you through your pleasure with persistent fingers. “Dylan”, you moaned, voice breaking my dryness “I-i”. You were too exhausted to finish your sentence as you slipped into the lust haze that was left. He hushed you, touches turned soft, as if he knew exactly what you were going to say. How he was the first man to ever give you an orgasm. That he just gave you the strongest orgasm of your life at that. “You were so good”, he praised, kissing the inside of your thighs. The sudden intimacy made your heart swell as you mustered any energy left to look at him. He looked absolutely ravishing between your legs, just as you had imagined. His lips were wet from your slick, his hair still nestled in your tight grip. You imagined what you had to look like, completely ruined under his touch. He did not seem to mind. Instead his fingers slowly started to move again. At your fullness you understood he must've added a third one. It was a tight fit, but the slickness allowed him to nestle in between your walls and reach your sweet spot again. The overstimulation was almost too much as you whimpered in a mix between pain and pleasure. He hushed again and bent down to kiss your clit. “I need you inside of me”, you felt your primal nature crawling back after your incredible orgasm, wanting nothing more than for him to be buried to the hilt in you. “I know”, he cooed as he scissored his fingers “i have to prepare you”. You shook your head, desperately “don't need. Now, please”. He looked up at you, at your ruined state. Praying in the back of his mind that he could wake up to this vision everyday. “Baby”, his nickname made you clench around his fingers “it's going to be a tight fit”. You shook your head again as all rationality left your body. You knew he was right but the need for him inside you overpowered any reality of the situation. “Please, I want it. Don't want to be able to walk tomorrow”, you mumbled, spilling out what was the only thought in your clouded head. He groaned at that, supporting his head on the inside of your thigh “your going to be the death of me”. Against his better judgement he dragged his fingers out. The fingertips shriveled up after you warmth and wetness and before you could give it a second thought you possessively pushed them into your mouth. His groan matched your moan as you sucked the juice off him. Something as filthy as your juices covering his entire hand made you tighten your mouth around him. You made sure to get every last drop before letting them out with a pop. The look he gave you would stay on your mind for weeks. Like you were a goddess sent down from heaven. There were so many emotions swirling in his eyes you almost forgot he was still between your legs wet with your cum.

He propped himself up again from his elbows, sitting up. You mirrored him, letting your naked form sit next to his covered one. He started to unbutton his pants, desperately trying to get the slick material off him. You watched patiently, greedy for more exposed skin. “Take off your bra”, he commanded as his pants finally came off “want to see your tits as you ride me”. You gasped at the indication and fumbled with the claps on your back in a second. When you finally go the hasp off you dragged the prison of your body and let your curves escape. They bobbed slightly from the sudden weight, begging for attention. He took one look at them with a groan before focusing on his briefs. “I'm not going to last long when you look like that”, he breathed as he finally got his underpants off. His cocks sprung free, reaching for his stomach. It was stone hard, veins gripping it so tight it was shifting towards purple. The head was the same red as his plush lips, pushing out drops of precum. You never in your entire life thought that you could be attracted to dick. You were wrong. Your insides did a turn of pleasure as you saw the thick member as it strained impressilny long. He may have been right, it was going to be a tight fit. Before you could stop yourself you leaned down and took his head into the warmth of your mouth. What had possessed you to do so was most likely the teasing amount of cum slicking down his soft skin. The thought that something so precious would go to waste did not sit right with you. He hissed in pleasure as you sucked down everything he had to give him. The taste of his natural musk together with the underline of his soap was enough to make you groan. The vibration seemed to spur him to grasp your hair tightly. You didn't have enough time to get all of his juices up before he pulled you off. You gave him your best bratty look which he hardened his eyes to. “I'm not going to last if you do that again. I thought you wanted to feel me tomorrow”. At his quotation of your previous words your bratty face fell and a good girl one came. He sat down comfortably, nodding for you to join him. You didn't need more convincing as you swung a leg over his lap so your dripping folds were right over his hardening length.  His handsome face meeting yours, with those types of eyes you could get lost in was presented to you. You leaned forward, kissing his nose before leaning back, smiling from ear to ear. At that he laughed, that beautiful noise that you had been longing for the entire night. He started leaving specks all over your shoulders as he slowly inched you down. He was very considerate, letting you be in control. With that you positioned yourself right, grabbing his length right, before slipping down. His head popped past your lips and as you inched down further you felt the stretch. He filled you completely but wasn't even fully inside yet. “Fuck, i think youre too tight”, he tried, his voice strained in self controll. Determined to prove him wrong, to please him, you ignored his words. You took it slow but still pushed him further and further inside. The stretch started to feel painful, as you felt your insides choking his twitching cock. “Y/n”, he tried but you quieted him down by fully pushing him inside you. The pain was intense, as you felt him push the deepest part of you. He hissed, head rolling back, as he was on the verge of nirvana. The vision alone made you squeeze around him, not really helping the self control he was desperately grasping onto. You sat there, letting your insides warm him and squeeze him shut. There was something primal and domestic about having him this deep inside of you, almost stuck because of your walls swallowing him. The first wave of pleasure was strong, indicating that your insides were starting to mold and get used to him. He looked lost, on the very edge of self control, as he reached down to where you were connected. “Fuuuuck”, he drawed out before letting his eyes join his hand “I can feel myself through your stomach”. Your palm joined his and very well, you could feel the

persistent push of his size under your navel. You moaned at that, imagining him filling you up so completely. His finger pads collected some of the slick dripping down your connected bodies before pushing your clit. before you could stop yourself, knowing it would most definitely hurt, you brought yourself up before slamming down again. The pain was nothing compared to the overwhelming pleasure you felt as he hit all the right parts inside of you. “Stop that”, he growled as his fingers continued their abuse “i won't be able to hold back”. As bratty as you were, you repeated your action. Your walls took him perfectly, pushing him to the hilt once again. “Then don't”, you moaned as you were planning to set a steady pace. He seemed to have a different idea in mind. The second the words left your minds you could see his self control simmer away to nothing as he grasped your love handles. With one push of strength he set a brutal pace. The view of him like this, completely lost in the feeling of you around him, was enough to make the pain slowly go away. His rough pace together with the violent abuse on your clit made the coil in your stomach start to build again. He let out strings of curse words as his dick was completely engulfed by your inviting heat. “Fucking perfect”, he growled behind closed teeth “made for me to fuck”. Your hands grabbed his shoulders for support, lost in the intense pleasure to respond. The room was filled with the obscene noises of you mewls and his groaning, the slickness of your walls flushing around his stone hard member and the slap of his full balls against your skin. He fucked you like a ragdoll, pushing into your bodys every curve. Succeeding to hit that sponge spot with every thrust. “Where”, his voice was barely hearable between the slaps of your bodies ``where do you want me to come”. You rested your forehead to his, letting your breaths join in symphony. “Inside”, you whispered as you tightened your grip on him “I want to feel you drip outside of me on set tomorrow”. The indication that you wanted something as absolutely filthy as to have him drip out of you while you were talking to his coworkers made him snap. He thrusted deep and hard, growling praises over and over again. “Going to make sure that you're dripping of me for  days”, he grabbed the back of your neck to bend it backwards “so everyone knows who ruined you”. With that he forced himself forwards and pushed your nipple in the warm heat of his mouth. The warmth inside you finally snapped as you came violently around him. He kept the pace, fucking you through your pleasure. You lost all contact with your body, stuck in the punishing feel of pleasure surrounding your every nerve. The feeling of you gushing around him, coating both of your lower parts with the sweet essence of your juices, finally made his balls tighten up in pleasure. With beautiful groans he was cumming, spurting deep deep inside of you. You feel the warmth, as he painted your inner walls white. You felt completely full both physically, but also mentally knowing how he was indeed going to drip inside of you for days. He rode out both of your escacys, out of breaths from the marvellous pleasure you both were in. His member twitched inside of you as it should its last spurt of white seed. Completely exhausted he let his body go slump with his hands down his sides. You collapsed on top of him, your head supported from his shoulder. Your chests moved in harmony as both of you were desperately trying to catch your breaths. The silence of the room was intense compared to the previously loud noises. It reeked of sex. Of sweat and juices, of passion and lust. You began kissing his neck, just like you had been thinking about earlier today. If you had asked this morning if you believed you would end up with Dylan O'Brien's cum deep inside of you, you would have called them crazy. But here you were. The small kisses were all the aftercare you could muster as Dylan slowly came back and started stroking your hair. You were the one to break the silence this time “so… do you

(BUT I GOTTA KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR SELenEr.)- Authors note

With spread legs and deep breathing I tried the best I could. But I came to the conclusion that it was impossible. I was so used to the privilege of using my own eyes that the idea that I could create a vision from the sense around me was laughable. I kept myself busy the entire afternoon, sweat dripping down my forehead. Toph was laughing at me “wow! you suck”. I growled, annoyed at the lack of improvement “isn't it your job to teach me? Is there not a way to make my feet open their eyes or whatever”. Toph threw a pebble at me “No. that's the problem.  You've got to stop thinking like a moron with working vision.There's no different angle, no clever solution, no trickery-trick that's going to make you see. it's not actually eyes you dumbstruck bison, its feet and it's always going to be feet ''. I was growing a temper “well it's kind of hard to see with my feet when i have perfectly working eyes unlike your blind ass”. Toph jumped down from the pillar so she stood in front of me. Still lifted with a rock beneath her she was a head shorter than me. “I'm glad you said something Jerk! We don't need them”, before I could protest she blindfolded me “This way, you'll actually have to sense the vibration of the earth around you”. I rolled my eyes forgetting she can't see them because of the blindfold. And yeah right,also  because she's blind. “I still don't actually have to sense my surroundings'', I muttered mostly to myself but somehow Toph caught it. “ You have to if you want to live”, I could hear the smirk in her voice. Finally catching up on words I struck my hands forward in a protective manner “No. No, Toph! We are not doing the bolder thing again”. She blatantly ignored me and laughed as an answer. I sighed, as I spread my feeting again. I tried to focus on how the ground felt under me. How hard the stone was, how my balance on the left foot was worse because a crack slit the ground open. I focused on the vibrations from Toph's steps. Then with a deep sigh I let myself completely into my earth's bending control. I imagined my surroundings, I could feel the wind move pebbles over my feet. And I could also feel the rumpling of something the doubled size of me. The boulder. And just then I understood what Toph meant. It wasn't like looking with eyes at all. I couldn't see colors or the direction of the sunlight. I couldn't see details like leaves on the vines. But I still knew, I knew what was around me. I knew that the temple was on my left, Toph was on my right. And that the quick moving boulder was rushing in my direction from behind. So I threw myself to the side just when the vibration was next to me. I quickly eartbended a sharp piece of the cliff at the boulder so it broke into pieces. “Surprised that it took you that long!”Toph yelled at me in which I earth bended a pebble towards her in response.

“Okay..”, Toph began and I inhaled hopefully. “I'm getting a break?”, I interrupted her before she could continue her sentence. She snorted “as if you deserve a break, freak. What I was going to say was that I'm sending in someone you can spar with. Blindfold on of course”. Help? Since when did Toph need help. Before I could ask I felt the sudden vibration of a larger figure rushing towards me. I quickly moved out of the way. From the weight of the vibrations I was guessing Sokka since I knew Zuko was busy teaching Aang. “Missed me!”, I teased, as I felt the person rushing over to me again. With a smile I ducked what I guessed was the boomerang being thrown at me. But when I felt the familiar heat of fire above me my demeanor changed. “Toph I don't even know how to feel fire with my feet!”I yelled, suddenly scared of what could happen if I hadn't ducked. Toph shouted back happily without a care in the world “you just did!”. Angry that she was right, like usual, I quickly stood back in a defensive position. Zuko seemed to have changed his fighting technique since he wasn't spurting at me anymore. He was waiting for me to attack. And I did. I moved gracefully as I raised my hands, feeling the good vibrations of my earth bending creating a rock to shoot at him. I could feel him jump to the side and I cursed myself for missing. And like that it continued, we spared in a circle like a prey and predator. Which one was which i didn't know. I could feel his burning eyes on me the entire time. I tried not to think about how crazy I must look, hunting after him with a blind fold. My legs were exhausted from hours of training non stop. But instead of requesting a break like any sane person would, I used it in my advantage. I put on a fake show, dragging my feet a little extra or not attacking him as much. And when I felt him prepare a flame towards me I formed my plan. As it combusted towards me I made sure to jump just a tiny bit out of the way. I could feel the heat slicking up my arm, not close enough to burn my skin but close enough for me to react. I doubled over with a hiss, covering the skin with my hand so Zuko couldn't see that it was completely unharmed. I immediately sensed his demeanor drop as he rushed over to me. His steps were no longer careful but rushed. ‘“I'm so sorry”, his voice was deep of guilt but i didn't have time to feel bad.  The second his fingers touched my hand I went for attack. He didn't even have time to react when I tackled him to the ground. I threw my legs across the side of his body and nailed him to the ground with my entire weight shuffled to my hands. It was not until i could feel him grunt out a pust of air towards me when i realized the position i put him in. My backside was arched toward his lap. My exposed cleavage was hanging right in front of his face. But i knew if i moved i would most definitely lose. So instead I waited. I waited for him to react, to make a move. But he did neither. He was still as a rock. Annoyed that I could sense him but not see his reaction I shook my head so my blindfold slipped off my face. Little did I know that lack of sight was the only thing keeping me winning. The second Zuko is exposed to my eyes beneath me I drop the defensive act. His eyes are soft, sweet as honey. His lips parted and i didnt miss his tongue swiping across them. His chest raised with short breaths brushes against my cleavage and I feel his pounding heart and I know he can feel mine. The two front pieces of my hair fall down, shielding our faces from the rest of the world. And there, right there, I forget about the war. I forget about the fire nation. Right there, there is only Zukos and our breaths tempo starts to match. There was only the smell of his manly musk and new poured rain. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was calm at heart. I didn't worry about the outcome of the war, hell I didn't even care. His eyes roam over me, as if it's the first time he sees me. Uncomfortable from his intense gaze I shifted my position only to feel…

Both faces are immediately lit up in matching blushes as I feel something hard pressing against the inside of my thigh. My pounding heart didn't know what to do. What was best, to move or to avoid it. Too caught up in the heat of the moment I didn't notice how his fingers slipped up my hand. It's not until he had fully grasped my wrists and rolled me over that I was brought back to reality. He had done a “Y/n” and attacked in a weak moment. Nice. But this position made his hard problem much more noticable. The entire length was pressed against my crotch and it made a yearn start to pound. One I desperately needed to hide. His hair hung down in my face next to my wrist he had nailed to the ground. I needed to immediately distract myself from the contact between us “Deja vu huh?”. I was referring to how he had me pinned to a tree the first day we met. He smirks as he leans down to my ear and whispers in my hair “i have exactly where i want you”. I knew he meant that he was winning but it didn't fail to send a shiver down my spine. “Ummm, okay guys i think zuko won!”, We both push each other off at once  as we both remember Toph is there. Not only Toph but Sokka. They both look horrified.  “He cheated!”I burst out, anything to break the silence. Zuko tips his head towards me angry “You cheated first”. I rolled my eyes even though he was right “you should be happy I don't know fire bending because I would beat you in Agni Kai”. Zuko snorted as he stood up and brushed off his pants “you have no near the amount of self control Agni Kai demands”. I smile with a raised eyebrow, god he makes it so easy. “And what?”, I look down to his crouch before meeting his eyes “you do?”. His face becomes more red than a tomato as I brush past Toph and leave the scene. The second I'm out of sight, I finally let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. I lost control today. I almost let the attraction I clearly have for Zuko show. The same one I need to hide, to dig down, do destroy. But more interesting, Zuko did the same thing. I cringed at the entire thing, praying to god that everybody would forget this by dinner.  

Neither Zuko or I spoke at dinner. We’re deeply concentrated on our food and both ignore the conversations playing out around us. That's until Toph shoves an elbow into my side. I make a groan from the sharp pain “what was that for?”. I didn't need to look at Top to know she was smirking “I was right”. I had no idea what she was referring to “yes you were,  now what exactly are you talking about”. Toph was very often right, it was like the blindness had given her a third eye so she just knew things. Toph nods to the other side of the circle and I follow her eyes to.. Zuko. Whatever was going to come out of her mouth was probably not good. “I've felt your pulse raise every time you've looked at Zuko so i knew i had to put it to the test”. I should've known Toph didn't need help from Zuko. I shook my head “Whatever you think you're right about, you're wrong. End of conversation”. Toph fell quiet against her will but i knew that she was going to go off and mock me for having the hots for a fire bender. Zuko at that. Sokka, who had been eavesdropping the entire time, sneaked next to me “so what's up between you and Sifu Hotman”. I wanted to punch that grin off his face. “I dont know”, I glanced threateningly at him “what was up between you and Azula when you fought at the eclipse?”. I was referring to how he pushed her up the wall and how she just let him. He was clearly done talking about me and Sifu hotman, because like the pull of a lever he shut up. That's what I thought.

The next morning Zuko and Sokka were gone. They had apparently gone fishing, as if any of us was going to believe that. So there were multiple reasons I was grumpy that morning. First, I didn't like how they kept me out of things like that. Second, once again I caught myself worrying for both of them. Worrying for Zuko. This was not going to end well.  

Aang looked up hopefully “Maybe i need a little more instruction. Perhaps a demonstration?”. Zuko raised an eyebrow “Good idea, You might wanna take a couple steps back”. Even if he wasn't talking to me I obliged and moved further back. I hadn't seen him in action up close yet. I was unsure what to expect but that was definitely not it.  With a grunt Zuko opens his tightly closed fist to let out…. a flame smaller than the palm of my hand. Aang, supportive as he was, applauded at this disappointing display. Me? i bursted out laughing, finally alerting them of my presence. They both sharply turned to me, who was doubled over in laughter. “You might wanna take a couple steps back?”I wiped away fake tears “What was that? That was the worst firebending I've ever seen!”. Zuko did not take that mockery ease as he pursed his lips hard enough to break his jaw.  Aang interrupted Zuko before he could yell at me “I thought it was...nice”. He smiled slightly and shrugged which made it even harder to hold back my smile.

Zuko, annoyed at my amused face, tried to prove me wrong. He let out a loud grunt, which made a wave of excitement go through my stomach. But I pretended I didn't even notice it. His next three attempts resulted in very very small flames similar to the first. Defeated he glares frustrated down at his palms “what is happening”. Aang rubbed his head, trying to comfort Zuko “maybe it's the altitude”.I left my safe spot to move my way to them “Or maybe you can't firebend anymore, which is like the only reason we took you in”. Zuko’s burning eyes just lit my amusement more “oh oh! i call dibs on Zuko’s room when we throw him out”. Aang stretches his smaller hand out to stop me from upsetting anybody further. Zuko scrowls as he turns his back at me with clearly better self control than I thought he had. Time passes and Zuko keeps pushing himself with no improvement. Aang was sitting beside me on a broken pillar as we watched Zuko deliver a pointless blast after another. “that one kind of felt hot”, Aang bursted out as he got on his feet. I snickered at his comment, as I swung my legs against the pillar. But Zuko got angry, angrier than he had ever become after any of my comments. “Don't patronize me! You know what it’s supposed to look like!”. He was right, I had seen many fire benders but no one was as worthless as Zuko at the moment. “He didn't need to patronize you, you do that very well on your own”. Zuko aimed a flame at me that was even worse than his previous ones “Shut up!”. Aang held up his hands in defense “ Sorry, Sifu Hotman”. I bursted out laughing so hard it hurt the depths of my stomach.  Zuko raises his arms above his head and throws them back with a shout of frustration. Aang gringes at his sudden outburst. “And stop calling me that!”, Zuko yells which makes me laugh possibly even harder.

Night creeps up on us as everyone is getting settled for dinner. Even Appa has a mouthful of hay as he rests next to the fountain. Everyone is busy calming their rouring stomachs, everyone except Zuko. He’s leaning on a column with his arms crossed, looking down the cracked ground under him. He looks deep in thought with his wrinkled forehead, but no one seems to notice. No one except me of course. Suddenly he turns his head to the campfire as he makes his way over to where we’re sitting. “Listen everybody, I've got some pretty bad news. I've lost my stuff”, He looks below dejectedly. Toph, used to being accused of stealing by now, raises her hands above her head. “Don't look at me!”, she folded her arms “i didn't touch your stuff”. I giggle at her outburst and enjoy the view of Zuko’s ashamed face. He looks down again “I'm talking about my firebending. It's gone”. I cross my arms and throw my legs up on a pillar “as if you even had it in the first place”. Everybody around the fireplace sits up, different emotions painted on their faces. Sokka is the only one giving me a reaction as he pretends to fire bends with an annoyed face like Zuko had been doing the entire day. It brought a quiet shaking laugh from me. But my laugh quieted down as a clearer brighter laughter took place. Katara had her head bent backwards as her body shook from the laugh. Was Katara… mocking Zuko. It was the only time Katara had done anything remotely funny, but it still deep down struck a nerve that she was making fun of  him. It was my job. But I couldn't possibly be petty over such a small pointless thing. Everyone had turned their attention towards her, including Zuko, who had an annoyed expression twisting his handsome face. She held her hands up, hiding her face “I'm sorry. I'm just laughing at the irony. You know, how it would've been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago”. Zuko gringed “Well, it's not lost. It's just ... weaker for some reason”. Katara held up her bowl and glared at Zuko over the brim “Maybe you're not as good as you think you are”. Both me and Toph, alike as we are, Made a hissing noise at the same time and met each other's eyes “ouch”.  Zuko ignored Toph's sarcastic smile as he brightened up with an idea “I bet it's because I changed sides”. Katara gave him another glare as she brought the bowl to her lips “That's ridiculous”. It was the first time I had seen Aang disagree with Katara “I don't know. Maybe it isn't. Maybe your firebending comes from rage and you just don't have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to”.

“Zuko has not been angry? then what have i been doing all day”, i smirked over at Sokka who returned the facial expression. He leans towards zuko and points a finger above “Easy enough”. He pokes Zuko with his shining swords hilt in the head and waist several times. Toph and I cling onto each other to not fall over from laughing. Zuko growles behind closed teeth “okay cut it out!”. Sokka's sword slips from his hands and is thrown above before falling on his head. Zuko sighs and rubs his nose “look, even if you're right. I don't want to rely on hate and anger anymore. There has to be another way”.

Sokka rubs his head in pain from the burst with the sword but no one seems to pay him any care. Toph takes a big bite from her food “You're gonna need to learn to draw your firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source”.I furrowed my eyebrows “I thought that fire bending's original source was pain, rage and suffering”. I didn't miss the way Zuko pursed his lips and looked down in something similar to shame. Sokka seemed to forget his head injury as he excitedly looked up “How's he supposed to do that? By jumping into a volcano?”.Toph shook her head and wiggles her feet “No. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of firebending is”. Sokka's dreams of Zuko diving into a volcano is crushed “So, is it jumping into a volcano?”.

“I don't know”,  Toph puts her bowl down beside her “For earthbending, the original benders were badgermoles''. I remembered the many times Toph had brought me to the tunnels and showed me where she met the Badgermoles. That seemed like forever ago.  “Isn't the original fire benders Dragons? Where the fuck are we going to find a dragon just chilling?”, I looked up at Zuko who sighed deeply. “we are not going to, Dragons are extinct”. Aang shook his head “What do you mean‌? Roku had a dragon, and there were plenty of dragons when I was a kid”. Zuko's face twists up, as if he knows something we don't. “Well, they aren't around anymore, okay?”. I feel bad for Aang because he yelps at Zuko's harsh tone. “Okay, okay!”,he moved his arms in an appeasing manner “I'm sorry”. Zuko moves on his long slender legs to the fountain. “But maybe there's another way”, he looks away in deep thought “The first people to learn from the dragon were the ancient Sun warriors”.Aang who always seemed to think he knew the most since he was technically 100 years older than the rest walks towards Zuko. “Sun warriors? Well I know they weren't around when i was a kid”, Aang stood beside Zuko now. “No, they died off thousands of years ago. But their civilization wasn't too far from where we are now”, Zuko  tilts his head toward Aang “Maybe we can learn something by poking around their ruins''. Sokka mirrors my suspicions “So what? Maybe you'll pick up some super old sun warrior energy just by standing where they stood a thousand years ago?”. He backs up his question by flaring his hands around in a weird motion which makes me hit my forehead with my hand. Zuko shifted his weight forward. “More or less. Either I find a new way to firebend '', he turns his head towards Aang ”or the Avatar has to find a new teacher”.

When Zuko left with the Avatar, the temple seemed to become much more quiet. Haru, the Duke and Teo were on yet another exploration mission. Katara was worrying for Aang, while she cooked the same meal we had been eating for days. Toph, Sokka and I laid spread out, floating over the water in the fountain. The heat had been getting worse and it was the only way to cool down. Sokka threw a worried look at her sister.“What do you think Sifu hotman and smaller bald Kyoshi is doing right now?”, I asked as I sat up in the fountain. My soaked hair was dripping down my back. Sokka smiled half way “Zuko is probably pissed because his worthless Sun warrior plan is not working out and Aang is probably playing peacemaker and trying to calm him down”.  Toph smirked and splashed some water with her feet. Katara sneered at us and I wondered if it was because she didn't like that we were talking about Aang or if she was jealous that we were bonding better then she had done with any of us. I was guessing on the latter. “If you could have any original animal from any bend type, which one would you have?”, Sokka asked to change the conversation subject. Toph didn't even need to think  for a second “obviously the badgermoles”. Sokka looked offended “really? You would pick a blind disgusting rat over a flying bison?”. I inhaled dramatically “Blind disgusting rat?! That's my best friend you're talking about!”. Sokka burst out in laughter and Toph rolled her eyes ironically “ha ha ha”.  I looked forward, deep in thought “I hate the fire nation but honestly the dragon is the most badass”. Sokka lifted an eyebrow surprised “they're extinct, remember?”. Katara moved a spoon through the home made meal as she mumbled “i wish that the entire fire nation was extinct”. We all fell silent, like we mostly did everytime Katara opened her mouth. I thought about how different my life would have been if the fire nation didn't exist. I would still have my mom. I would have grown up with a present and loving father. If my mom had gotten good care while giving birth, instead of hiding in a barn from the fire nation, she wouldn't have died in childbirth. And if my mom hadn't died, my dad wouldn't have blamed me for her death. He wouldn't have been slaughtered by the fire nation when they invaded my home years later on the look for something we didn't even have. But I would never have met Toph. I would never have gotten so good at earth bending. I wouldn't have met the avatar gang. But I still closed my eyes and imagined a world without the fire nation for just another second.

by the look of Aangs and Zuos excited faces when they returned, I guessed it was a successful mission. I can't help but feel relieved that they're okay, and to my surprise I'm relieved for both of them. A sense of calm fills me when I see that they're BOTH unharmed, but I would never admit that to anybody. They're quick to get into positions to start demonstrating what the sun warriors taught them. They moved gracefully, every motion mirrored between them as yin and yan. Fire licked the sides of their bodys without hurting them, as if the fire and their bodies were one. I had grown up with the view of fire as a plot of destruction, a tool for suffering and power play. But now, in the upside-down pagodas in the Western Air Temple, the fire looked nothing like that. It wasn't violent. It was beautiful, I could see shades of blue and green. I could see all the colors of the rainbow within the flames, similar to the reflection of water. Or the sharpened glass in the depths of the earth. Or how air bent sunlight on a hot day. I could see all elements moving from the palms of their hands in the shape of combustions of flames. Deep deep down within my bones I could feel a yearn for the fighting of flames. A longing for the feel of the heat against my hands, that I quickly pushed down. Fire was dangerous, it was not beautiful. It was difficult to convince myself when I left the hole of lament in my heart. The rest of the avatar gang interrupted my thoughts with applause as the two got into their final postures. “Yeah, that's a great dance you two learned there”, Sokka bursted out playfully. Normally i would join him with a remark myself but i wasn't in the mood. My feelings were conflicted and I couldn't focus on anything else. Zuko seemed offended. “It's not a dance. It's a firebending form”. Sokka moves his fingers in a dancing manner “We’ll just tap-dance our way to victory over the Fire Lord”.

Zuko makes his way over to Sokka with a threatening glimpse in his eyes “It's a sacred form that happens to be a thousand years old!”. Katara crosses her arms “Oh yeah? What is your little form called?”. Zuko's eyes met the ground embarrassed “The dancing Dragon”. The gang erupted in loud laughter as Zujo gringes in embarrassment. I stand quiet, not paying attention to how Zuko turns to me. “You haven't said any mocking remark about our form”, he bent down to my level to try to catch my attention. “You mean your dance?”I ask and raise an eyebrow. He mimics my expression “Really? is that it?”. I didn't even catch his bait as I waved him away “I'm not in the mood”. As I moved away I felt Zuko's burning eyes on the plate of my back. “Since when is she not in the mood”, Zuko mumbled to himself, confused. I was busy thinking about how I had longed to touch fire. The thing that destroyed my life.

He looked exactly the same as yesterday but it still made me halt in my steps. The streaks of suns fighting through the thick branches reached across his face glistening in sweat. His hair still had the morning ruff and his scar seemed even more red than yesterday. Every little killing method I imagined in my head on the way here was completely gone. Now when he stood in front of me, it was different. But I had to keep reminding myself of the image of Toph's scorched feet. “Zuko”, I growled and he turned abruptly. He was startled by my presence, but scared of the look in my eyes. In a second of boiling blood and red vision I bend the earth around him to drag him towards me so we’re face to face. This close the details of his sharp features were prettier. He was pretty this close. The two or three freckles across the bridge of his nose. The pink tint of his lip. The softness of his hair. I shook the thought away as I lifted my hand to grasp his throat. Not to stop him breathing, but to make him feel threatened. He didn't seem that threatened by his bored look but I could feel the lump he swallowed vibrate against my palm. “I didn't believe the shit they said about you until what you did to Toph”, I clicked my tongue in denial “burning a little blind girl? that's low, even for you Prince”. He strained against my grip with a scowl “Don't call me that”. I raised an eyebrow “What? Prince? Oh right! I forgot. Banished huh? Why do you think the Avatar would want you when even your own family doesn't”. That seemed to be a soft spot since he somehow with pure body strength broke himself free from the stone cuffs around his feet to push me backwards. I lost my footing but luckily didn't trip all too embarrassing.  But the shame made me furious as I attacked him. I was just about to bend the ground under him when he moved like a panther against me. I groaned loudly in pain when my back rasped against the rough bark of a tree. Both my wrists were locked in a hard grip by his much larger hands. His body heat radiated over to mine as he pushed up against me, preventing me from moving. “Calm down”, his voice was in my hair, forcing a shiver down my spine. I swallowed thickly, unsure what to do. “Look”, he leaned back to look into my eyes, which was somehow worse. Against my will I met his honey pool eyes. “It was an accident, she came in the middle of the night and startled me. It was self defense. I had no idea it was her”. I stayed quiet, trying my best to escape his grip. It was too much, his rough palms against my sensitive skin, his hot breath in my face. Just the knowledge that he was so close set my body on fire. If i stayed here any longer i would do something i would surely regret. “Get off me”, my voice came out chapped and raspy. Instead of it sounding like an order it came out like a plea. His thumb swiped across the side of my palm swiftly before letting go. It was a small motion, but I noticed. It made my heart pound furiously, I bet he could feel it. the rumpling deep in my chest. I licked my dry lips, finally taking a step away from his. It felt like the world lifted off my shoulder when I finally got out of his intoxicating aura. I was happy I didn't faint. I pointed at him “If you ever, and i mean ever, touch Toph again. I will hunt you down, Prince”. I spit the last part and happily noticed he scrunched up his face. Then I turned around and left with my heart still beating twice the normal pace. 

Returning to the Air temples i was relieved that no one noticed i left. It would be too embarrassing and shameful to explain. Explain how Zuko, The fire prince, pushed me up against a tree and gave me butterflies. Butterflies! Ridiculous. I spent the next hour pounding, trying to understand why Zuko even affected me in the way he did. I mean yes, he was obviously attractive, but… he was a fire bender! A person I've been taught to hate since the moment of my birth. The thought about my childhood made anxiety grow like a rock in the depths of my stomach so I decided to make myself busy. I couldn't keep puzzling about this. My thoughts got cut off by loud rumbling followed by ear crushing noises, so loud the ground vibrated. Someone shot something at the temple, and by the looks of it, it was aiming for the gang. On instinct I sprinted in their direction as I saw Aang and Sokka lifting up Toph from the fountain.”Stop!”,I froze at the familiar voice. 

I turned my head so fast it made my neck burn. Up on a cliff a bit away was a huge figure next to…. Zuko. “I don't want you hurting the Avatar anymore!”. Aang groaned as he tried his best to carry Toph away from the scene. “The mission is off. I'm ordering you to stop”, Zuko struck his hands in front of the man. He was crazy, the much larger man could snap him in half. the Combustion Man. The man couldn't care less as he with ease shoved zuko out of the way and charged his eye. Another explosion, now much closer, made the entire place threaten to fall apart. If it wasn't for the small stone wall I bent over my friends, we would have been crushed by stone. 

“If you keep attacking, I won't pay you!”,Zuko cupped his hands so fire was aiming against the large man. The combustion man was starting to get annoyed as he easily docked the fire and grabbed onto Zuko’s smaller body. “Okay i'll pay you double to stop!”.

I looked over at Aang “we should move”. He nodded in agreement, peaking over the stone wall. “Okay”, he looked back with frightened eyes. “Zuko seems to be keeping him busy, move now”. My legs almost gave up under me as I stood up with Toph's body over my shoulder. I gasped as I saw Zuko get thrown off the cliff. There were so many feelings in my body it confused me. There is no way he could survive a fall like that. Worry for his life was the feeling finally taking over as I swallowed down the lump rising. But in the last second it seemed, he grasped onto a vine hanging down the cliff. “Go”, Aang yelled and I nodded swiftly. I didn't look back but I could hear the familiar woosh of Aangs air bending behind me. Before I even had time to move Toph we got thrown by a sudden explosion behind us. Lucky us, I bent the ground under us so we didn't fall. “Stay here”, I mumbled to Toph as I placed her behind a wall. She crossed her arms annoyed and nodded to her brunt feet “it's not like I have much of a choice”. As I turned around I saw the rest of our gang run towards me. They had just enough time to jump next to us before the next explosion ruined the temple. “he’s going to blast this whole place right off the cliff side!”, Toph yelled, eyes blown wide exposing her grey glazed irises. Katara took a deep breath before peeking behind the wall only to see another incoming blast. She looked back at us with pursed lips “I can't step out to waterbend at him without being blown up and I can't get a good enough angle on him from down here”. At the world angle Sokka’s entire face brightened up. I swore I could see a lightbulb over his head. “I know how to get an angle on him!”, he shouted. I looked him up and down “really? well do tell”. Sokka fumbles with his belt before taking out his boomerang. After another blast, he sneaks his head out, but has to hide from yet another shot. With his tongue out, clearly in deep concentration, he projects  Combustion Man’s angle with his boomerang. He takes a deep breath “all right buddy, don't fail me now”. With a tensed arm he aims the boomerang and then uses his whole upper body strength to send it flying. In surprise the boomerang hits the assassin in the head where his third eye tattoo is, causing him to hit the ground. Sokka’s face is priceless as he catches the boomerang “yeah boomerang!”. But then the silence is broken by the assassin's heavy body getting up, clearly a bit shaken. Sokka's face fell “Awwww, boomerang…”. this is how we die huh? There was no way a few children could take on a trained assassin. But he seemed to take care of that job himself because his next aim is completely off. He misses, his next blast hits the ground around him. The ground shakes a few times under his feet before it gives up under him, causing him to fall.  As I help Toph up the best I can Zuko appears. Aang looks hesitant at him “i can't believe i'm saying this, but….thanks, zuko”. Sokka clearly took it personally as he turned to Aang “hey! What about me? I did the boomerang thing.” I rolled my eyes at his child's demeanor. 

Zuko looked down before meeting Aang's eyes “Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday, I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor, and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world”. 

No one was ready for his speech, especially not me. This was a needed side of him I hadn't seen. I recognized myself in his words and I had to turn my head to  clear my mind. 

Zuko turned to Toph with shame in his eyes. “ I'm sorry for what I did to you”, he bows in her direction “It was an accident. Fire can be dangerous and wild, so as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending, so I don't hurt people unintentionally”. I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything he said made sense, felt sincere. But it went against everything I had been taught. Every word, scolding, from my father. Everything he had told me. I rarely agreed with my father but when it came to the fire nation we used to be on the same page.  Aang opened his mouth to speak but closed it almost immediately. He looks in thought as if he tries to be careful with his words. He finally collected himself “I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher. When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara, and after that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love. I'd like you to teach me”. He then slowly bent forward, bowing respectfully to Zuko. I could see how hard he tried to keep that smile back as he bowes back “Thank you. i'm so happy you've accepted me into your group”. Aang stopped him in his words “Not so fast. I still have to ask my friends if it's okay with them.”. He turns to Toph with kind eyes “Toph, you're the one that Zuko burned. What do you think?”. Toph shrugs her shoulders. “Go ahead and let him join”, She pounds her fist into her palm jokingly “it'll give me plenty of time to get back at him for burning my feet”. I meet zuko’s eyes and mumbles under my breath “that makes two of us”. Aang turns to Sokka. Sokka shrugs in response “Hey, all I want is to defeat the fire lord. If you think this is the way to do it, then, I'm all for it”. A part of me was excited to see what Katara would say. She clearly loved Aang and trusted him with her life, but she also hated Zuko with all her spirit.  Aang slowly approached Katara. She looked Zuko up and down. Her glare is so hot I could feel Zuko's nervousness. I swore I could see sweat climbing down his forehead.  Finally she drops her walls “ I'll go along with whatever you think is right”. Relieved Aang smiles at her. He gives me a look but I understand the question. All my feelings are conflicted, but this was not my place to speak “Fine”. I look up my eyelashes “On one condition?”. Zuko noods with stiff movement. I smirk sideways “If i can joke about your scar”. The expression on Zuko’s face was hard to read. Either he was extremely offended or thought it was amusing. He gave me a sideways nod which I took as a yes. 

The gang for some reason gave me the job to show him to his room. Probably because they thought I had the least history with him. Little do they know. The walk towards the room was awkward, both of us trying to keep our distance. “Um here we are”, I nodded towards the door and he walked into the room. I glanced toward him “Um, I think it's lunch soon. So, um unpack. um”. He looks up on me and gives me a weak smile. “And”, i weightened forwards and backwards on my feet “And well, keep an eye out. Either eye  works, but for you i guess the choice is pretty obvious”. He snorted “is that the best you can do?”. I was already down the hallway “trust me Prince pretty, i'm only getting started”.

 The western Air temple was breathtaking. How we got down was a mystery, but well down. I had no words. It was everything Aang had described. Stone walls reached over our heads,  clinging for its life on the cliffs surrounding us. Ivy painted the entire place green. With tired feet and a heavy head I slumped down on the bench around the fountain. The comforting noise of water pooling swallowed my pouding head in ease. “It's so different from the Northern Air Temple. I wonder if there are any secret rooms”, Teos eyes were glistening like a childs. Haru had clearly stopped worrying about his dad as he took a leap forward with a smile “Let’s go check it out!”. Teo and The Duke are quick on his feet as they sprint off to explore. Aang is about to catch up with them, excitement clear in his flaring arms, before he’s cut off my Kataras grip. “You guys go. I think we need to talk about some things”, she urges the boys to continue their exploring without Aang and they don't need much convincing. “I'll race you, Duke”, Teo is already taking off. The Duke whines as the kid he is “i told you, It's The Duke!”. The three disappear behind the temple but their voice echoes for another couple of seconds. Aang's looks after the boys with desperation in his grey eyes “Why can’t I go?”. I get up on shaky legs and make my way over to them. “We need to decide what we’re gonna do now, and since you’re the Avatar, maybe you should be a part of this”, Katara sits down on a fallen stone block. “Fair enough. So, what’s the new plan?”Anyone could easily detect the evidence of annoyance in Aang's voice as he slumps down on another stone block. But Katara was right, no matter how much I hated to admit it. Sokka placed a hand under his chin, mimicking an old philosopher  “Well, if you ask me, the new plan is the old plan! You just need to master all four elements and confront the Fire Lord before the comet comes.” They way Sokka phrased it was as if it was not that hard. As if it was just a cup of tea, which clearly struck a nerve with Aang.“Oh , yeah. That’s great. No problem. I'll just do that”, Aang threw his words in irony. He started playing with a rock beside him with furrowed eyebrows. He had never looked more like a child. “Aang, no one said it’s going to be easy”, Katara’s voice clinged in empathy. It irritates me how she always complains about being the mom of the group as if she didn't take on that role by herself. But I know a mother's empathy is exactly what Aang needed right now. I easily earth bended a rock under me to lift me up on the high cliff Toph was sitting. The familiar vibrations of earth moving under me filled me with calm. I threw my legs over the edge and slumped down next to Toph's much smaller frame. “Well I am hot but I can't fire bend. Where are we supposed to get a firebending teacher?”, Sokka couldn't help but smile at his own joke. I let out my low hanging bun, ignoring how my baby hairs are slicked down my face by sweat. “You hot? You're hot when Bisons can fly”, I shot him a flirty smile which resulted in Sokka snorting playfully. Katara ignored our remarks “We could look for Jeong Jeong!”. Aang didn't hesitate to shoot her idea down “Yeah...right”. He slumps down his body over the rock without care “like we’ll ever run into Jeong Jeong again”. Me and Toph look curiously at each other “Who’s… oh”. Toph, annoyed by how the group didn't tell us anything crossed her arms “never mind. If it's important I’ll find out”.

The further the sun moved down the horisont, the more Aang started to avoid talking about a plan. He flung forward Appa on his staff, gliding smoothly over the winds. Both me and Toph clung onto the Appa, not liking being this far above the ground. Sokka was always the comic relief but even him had taken on a mom role “Aang, i think we should be making some plans about our future!”. Aang bluntly ignored his words as he landed next to the fountain, the glider still in his hand. Aang watched us land Appa next to him “Okay, we can do that while i show you the giant Pai Sho table! Oh you’re gonna love the all-day echo chamber!”. He was about to sprint away from us again, away from his responsibilities when Toph trot after words. Her demeanor turned serious, which it rarely does “i think that’ll have to wait”.  Toph shrugs as she points behind herself. Everybody quizzically tries to see what she’s talking about as Appa’s huge frame moves to the side revealing a shadow. As the late day light falls upon him there is multiply gasps within the group. In front of us is a teenager, probably around my age, a head taller or so. What captures me first is his face. His scar to be exact. A scar the size of a palm extends from  his ear and over his eye. It leaves a nasty patch of skin the color of a bonfire. It looks as if he has tried to hide the scar with strands of hair but the hair has a life of its own. It's long, uncombed and falls down his face only to reveal a couple of intense eyes. The color was the same as pooling honey dripping down a warm cup of tea. He was insanely attractive, making my heart skip a beat or two. But he was also screaming to be remembered in the back of my mind. His identity on the tip of my tongue. His honey eyes turn to me for a second but that's enough to spark a part of my memory. Brown eyes mean fire nation. Which makes my eyes quickly take in the obvious fire nation clothing hanging over his long slender body. The previous shock within the group quickly turns into anger. The boy hesitantly raises his hand and gives us a wave, which would be adorable from anybody except a fire bender “Hello”. He tries on a careful weak smile “Zuko here”. That's all it takes for me to take on a fighting position. My hand raised above my waist, fingers vibrating ready to bend the earth to swallow him up. Zuko, The fire prince himself. The gang had told me and Toph stories of his repeated attempts to kill them. His awful actions and how he took katara's necklace. Well, maybe the necklace part doesn't make me that angry. Toph copied my defense, but her motions seemed hesitant.  Zuko opens his mouth to reveal a smoother voice then i expected “Hey, i heard you guys flying around down there. So, i just thought i’d wait for you here”. Appa growled and whatever i thought the bison was going to do, it was definitely not that. He reached out his dark tongue just to lick the boy. The boy let out a eak as he protected his face from the saliva. I didn't exactly recall the first time I met Appa that clearly, but I'm pretty sure he never did that. In the corner of my eye I see Aang's conflicted eyes as he lowers his staff slightly. He trusted Appa with his life, so I understood his internalized battle. But I was unaffected, hand raised protectly. Appa’s tongue slicked up the prince's face again, Messing up his hair even further. Zuko didn't protest this time, he just wiped off the excess mucus. With one last wipe he looked up at us again “I know you must be surprised to see me here”. Sokka looked at him in rage with furrowed eyebrows “Not really, since you’ve followed us all over the world”. Zuko seemed embarrassed as he looked down his feet “Right. Well,uh….anyway…. What i wanted to tell you about is that i’ve changed, and i, uhhh, i’m good now, and well i think i should join your group, oh, and i can teach firebending to you”. I didn't know what to say. The shock seemed to resemble the rest of the group. Zuko seemed to catch on as he opened his mouth again “see i, uhhhh”.Toph didn't give him a second to explain himself further “you what now?”. I had never seen katara as angry as now “You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?!”. Sokka continued her rant “Yeah, all you’ve ever done is hunt us down and try to capture Aang!”. All they were saying was true, but there was a sudden doubt consuming me. It rang warning bells in the back of my head for sure, but there was something I couldn't put my finger on. This couldn't possibly be the evil boy they had described? They told me he had an almost shaved head, just a ponytail. That he hated Aang with no shame. That he would do anything to destroy the gang. The boy in front of me was nothing like that. He was shy, hesitant. Ashamed. He was ashamed over everything he had done. But he couldn't just turn good like that, that's not how it works. This must be another fire nation trick, or so I had  to convince myself. Zuko seemed hurt, in desperate need to defend himself. “I've done some good things! I mean, I could have stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That’s something!”. His words seemed true since appa licked him again (much to his surprise). I remembered how hurt Aang was when he lost Appa, is it really possible that zuko saved him? No it couldn't be, he was from the fire nation. Toph had already dropped her defense “Appa seems to like him”. The water tribe siblings turned to her in anger. “I can understand why you  wouldn’t trust me, and i know i've made some mistakes in the past”. The rest of the sparr is a blur to me. I could see lips moving but I couldn't hear a thing. My eyes were stuck on Zuko as I blocked the rest of the world out. I tried to find any mistakes in his clearly made up character but he was spot free. either he was an amazing actor, or everything he said was true. Aang did need a firebender, but the thought of a member of the fire nation, the royal one at that, made my blood boil. What broke my focus was Zuko falling down on his knees. He made himself vulnerable, head bent downwards and hands raised in surrender. “If you won’t accept me as a friend, then maybe you’ll take me as a prisoner”. The words shocked me to the core. If he was really out to kill us he would never have let down his guard like that. Katara seemed to see right through his game “No, we won’t!”. Her little flask dangling by her leg burst open as she water bended a flood against him. It wasn't hard enough to make him go flying off the cliff but it was hard enough to break his position. He fell over, protecting his face. “Get out of here, and don’t come back! And if we ever see you again, well, we’d better not see you again”. Defeated, wet from tip to toe, he moved away from us. As my friends around me started to yell to each other, about how much Zuko was lying. How they would never accept him into the gang. I followed his figure with my eyes. The slumped forward body, the dragging of the feet. I wonder which powerful fire nation person he was going to tell he failed his mission to get into our gang. Because of course it had to be a mission. He could never change… Right?

My stomach immediately dropped at his name. His scolding was not a pleasant memory. I decided to not think about it more, not really longing for the weight of anxiety in the depth of my stomach. I threw my legs across the side of the bed, dangling my feet for a second before placing them on the ground. With some hestiance i got up, realizing that the pain had gotten better. Well not better, but easier to handle. I ignored my head begging me to go back to sleep as i started limping down the stairs. I was met with an inviting smell. Coffee.

The previous anxiety was long gone as i tried not to squeal in the happiness. I loved coffee. "Is it okay if i take a cup?", i asked as i took the final step into the kitchen.The man in front of me was not Riot. He had a pale complexion but there was a tint of something else then white. His hair was short, a brown newly woken up mess on top of his head. His figure was giant, stretching up next to the cupboard. There was only so many tall men in this house. Tank, i supposed, jumped at my voice. He looked in my directions, the earlier droopy sleepy eyes turned into green orbs of anger? He really hated me.

"Sorry", i mumbled, fiddleting nervously with the long black t-shirt riot had given me the day before "i didn't mean to startle you".

He made a motion i could really only place as rolling his eyes. "yeah take a cup, you're our guest after all", there was venom in his words, spit out against me making my heartburn. Burning in rage, i wasn't really known for my self control. "Hey", i pointed a finger at him like he had the previous day "i don't know why you hate me, i have not done anything to you". He looked shocked at my outburst before quickly collecting himself. "I don't hate you", he didn't even look at me "i just don't understand why you have to be here. The fact that you suck at protesting, is not our responsibility". His eyes turned away from me finally got to me. I grasped his wrist, hard, and pulled him so he was facing me. He looked down at our skin contact with an unplaceable emotion mirroying behind his light eyes. His skin was hot against me. For some reason he was so inhuman in my eyes i didn't expect body warmth. "I wanted to make a change!", i snapped, still not dropping his hand "okay! I felt useless just signing petitions and rolling my thumbs, i wanted to make a change". His face softened into a expression rather pleasant on his face. Now, with his full attention on me i actually had time to get a good look at him. He was handsome, freckles spread across his nose, full lips a straight line. His jaw was tensed as he watched me search him. "That's why me and Riot protest, we know what we're doing. That's why people like you stay at home", his words were hard but his voice was a different tone. Humorous. He dropped my hand and the sudden forced activity in my shoulder made me hiss in pain. He looked me up and down, eyes staying a bit longer on the bruises on my legs. He opened his full lips half way, something passing by his mouth. For a second i thought he was going to add something but instead he pursed his lips together and turned his back against me. That was the end of our short conversation i supposed. Like walking over glass i sneaked to one of the cupboards, lifting down a cup and moving back to the coffee machine.

Tank's presence in the room was intimidating me. I held my breath as if i was a kid playing hide and seek. My heart was pounding so hard that my body must think i was being chased. But i was still, in a kitchen with a mug tightly clutched to my chest. I gulped down the loud breath threatening to escape as i started pouring the coffee. I watched the coal pitch black liquid swapping up the side of the mug, mesmerized by something so simple. I tried no to shake too much when i put the can of coffee back, feeling tanks hot eyes on me. "What's your name?", the sudden question startled me to the very core. I was surprised i didn't drop the mug. "Y/n", i had my back against him. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how nervous i was. He hummed, either in a positive manner or mocking my name. It was hard to tell. "So.. you're going to go home and roll your thumbs and sign petitions now?", i got the sense that his statement was a subtle way of throwing me out. I pursed my lips, knowing deep down he was making fun of me. For not being able to protest.

Fuck him

"I'm going to protest", I sipped the coffee, enjoying the warm bitter taste on my tongue. I heard him sign "yeah, Riot guessed you would say that". I couldn't hold back the aggressive blush at the mention of Riot, glad that Tank couldn't see my face. I needed to see Riot again. I needed to touch him again. I suppressed the warmth rising in my chest with another hot gulp of the beverage in my hands.

)(

"Where's Riot?", i tried to sound nonchalant, as if my heart wasn't currently pounding violently. I could already see the protests in the distance as i pulled up the ski mask a bit so i could get a good breath. Tank was moving next to me, large as ever. I looked so ridiculously small, pathetic next to him that it made me angry. "He's on another protest, we move protests by following a schedule. We can't be seen together. Do you know what that means?", his question caught me off guard. I zipped up my thick hoodie enough to cover the last piece of visible skin. "Um", i didn't really even understand his question. "Hey", he snapped and grasped my chin to roughly turn my head to his direction. He had to lower down to talk down my face "Since Riot can't be here to babysit you, he left you to me. I'm going to actually make a change, and you sit still and quiet and don't make a sound, capish?". I lifted my head to strain against his grasp "doesn't that work towards the whole point of protesting. Stay quiet? You're not taking away my voice to fight the power i hope? Tank". I pushed his name past my lips as if it was a curse word. He stayed quiet for so long i started regretting my words, thinking of ways to save myself. He dropped his hand, wiping his helmet "watch it, baby". I knew deep down he was simply referring to the fact that he was babysitting me, but the nickname made a wave of heat creep over my body. I had to run to keep up with Tanks longs legs, ignoring the familiar feelings rising in my body. I did not have time for that.

Some time had passed. The police had put up a good defense even if the protester won over them in numbers. My number one priority? was first: protest for the rights of black lives. Second?, proving to Tank i could protest. In the beginning i had stayed pretty close to him but i had thickened the distance when i realized that his area was far too difficult for a riot beginner. Instead i had moved to the first aid hut placed in the center where new protesters was rushed by minutes. I didn't know much about rioting but knew one or another thing about taking care of wounds. So after an hour of pouring milk down tear gassed throats and stopping flowing blood from busted noses, i had forgotten all about Tank. Well, until he was limping over to the hut. One hand tightly grasped around his forearm. Despite all our previous painful words i rushed over to him.

"Shut up", he mumbled before i could even get a word out. Annoyed i pushed him down a bench with a huff. Then, with more care then he deserved, i slowly intertwined our hands in order to lift his hesitant hand from the wound. I tried to ignore the horrific sight of the left remains of a crushed glass bottle in the blood splattered wound. I didn't even notice i let our hands stay intertwined, maybe because the gloves hid his body warmth. But he noticed, his eyes stayed on our hands in his lap the entire time. Every time i pulled out a glass shart he hissed and tightened his grip on my hand. I couldn't hold back the two rapid heartbeats rising. Something about the closeness, yet the distance between me and Tank was..... interesting to say at least.

"There", i mumbled, softer then i had ever been to him. He didn't curse at me, or make an unpleasant noise. He stayed quiet as our fingers slowly fell apart. I wondered what face he was making underneath the mask. Was he angry? Upset? Happy?. In my mind, he was half smirking. But i had been wrong many many times before.

I turned my head when there was loud yelling behind us. A police officer was hovering over the medics i had worked side by side with today. "You have no right to be here", the pig spit, using his body frame to intimidate the smaller black women in front of him. His height didn't scare me, i mean i had spent the night over at two extremely large mens house. "Hey!", i didn't realize it was my own voice until i saw heads turning my directions. I could feel Tank fumbling out his hand to hold be back but i had already moved across the asphalt in long steps. "We're not protesting. We're helping people, that's not illegal. We're not blocking any roads.Sir", i knew everyone in the crowd could hear the venom behind my words. The cop looked stressed, he was sweating like a scorched pig. "Listen here, girl", he grunted "i suggest you take a step back". I fought the urge to smile, knowing it would infuriate him even more. I looked down at our shoes before lifting my head to meet his eyes, mostly for dramatic effect. "Or what?", i bit my lips hesitantly.

I was stripped down to my underwear, hands nervously fumbling with the last of my clothing. Riot was sitting on top of the toilet, leaned against the wall behind him. I felt his burning eyes stroking my body from behind his helmet. For a polite guy with manners he wasn't scared to let me know he was watching me in my privacy. "So", i needed to break the silent desperately "what do you look like under the mask?". He stood still, didn't move a muscle. I for a second thought he simply did not hear me but then he lifted both his huge hands and clicked the sides of the helmet. i could feel my heartbeat beating so hard i could've sworn i felt my ribs shattering. He slowly lifted the helmet revealing a handsome face. Dark mocha skin glistering in the sweat from the helmet. A well trimmed sculptured beard and a sudden hit of cologne was what i noticed first. Short after it was his caramel dark eyes moving up and down my body freely with no shame. Lips tucked in between cologne commercial worthy perl teeth. The thick dreads were tucked in a lazy pulled together ponytail at the low on his backhead.

Fuck, did he have to be that attractive. I was now more intimidated then before, but now for completely different reasons. This man? This ridiculously good looking man was going to help me shower. "Not what you thought i was going to look like?", he brought me back from my daydreams and i realized i had been silently watching him for too long. I quickly collected myself as i smiled embarrassed "to be honest, i don't even think i was expecting a human beneath". He chuckled and stood up with the helmet under his arm. "You can try to shower, call me if you need help", he turned his backside to me to finally give me the privacy i needed. Relieved i dragged of the last clothing protecting my "innocence" as i on dangerously shaky legs moved my way into the shower. After a few thoughtful seconds of figuring out the controls i turned the knob. Crystal clear warm water started to stroke down my bruised back. I moaned quietly, in a mix of pain and pleasure of finally getting the tear gas of my body. I watch the water return down the drain mixed with dirt and what i hope wasn't blood. I had to keep the hand on the side of the shower, similar to an old lady, to keep myself from losing grip of the ground. When i felt my body being remotely clean i reached out for the schampo but groaned in response. The pain aching in my shoulders kept me from rising my hand further then my hip. "You okay y/n?", hearing my name fall from his lips made a shudder go down my spine. I closed my eyes, cursing silently. This was so awkward. "Yes, sorry, could you help me?". I heard rumbling on the other side but when i heard the clasp of a belt the realisation clicked in. He was going to help me undressed. I wasn't exactly sure what i was expecting, but the thought of it made an excitement rush down my body. Another heartbeat starting beating, one i was desperate to keep calm. The shower drain was pulled to the side before i could cover my body. I kept my eyes on a strain, keeping them on his face. I needed to control myself. His body underneath the suit was huge as well. Everything on this man was huge. Fuckfuck. The heartbeat skipped a beat as a warmth startin radiating down my belly. Under control, right. I had to remind myself to keep myself from looking at it.

He seemed to have similar ideas as his eyes were only on mine, keeping themself from searching my body. "You needed help?", he asked as he took another step into the shower, shutting the curtain behind him. His frame took up most of the shower, forcing our bodies to be closer than i would've chosen. "Y-yes", i stuttered and gulped down the insecurities creeping up "i can't wash out my hair, my arms can barely move above my body". He nodded as if i had given him an order as he struck out his well sculpted arm. It moved over my head, reminding me once again of our height difference, and grabbed the shampoo bottle.I held my breath as he lowered his palms filled with glistering white schampo down into the roots of my hair. I kept myself from shivering when his fingertips touched my scalp. Slowly he started massaging it down into my wet hair and without really thinking about it i leaned into his touch. His fingertips were slipping between my strands of hair, over my sensitive skin. My mouth fell open in a O when he applied pressure, pushing all the right spots. When he brushed by an aching placed hidden behind my ear i let out a quiet whimper. I shot my eyes open in surprise to catch his reaction to my outburst. His eyelashes were heavy of waterdrops, and the eyes seemed darker than before. My mouth fell open on instinct once again when he pushed his tips against the same spot without missing a beat. This whimper was harder to hold back when he slipped multiple fingers over the same spot. It was like pulling a switch. Suddenly my hair was pulled back in a hard grip, angled up at his down leaned figure. He pressed his soft lips hard against mine. Desperately, i moaned into his touch. I moved my lips together with him, like it was rehearsed. His tongue slipped between my swollen lips, exploring my mouth like it was the best thing he ever tasted. He moved his angle, pushing me up the wet tile behind me. My lips wrapped around his wet strong tongue sucking teasley, a trick i learned in high school. He groaned in response, two of his hands slipping down the sides of my body. In the heat of the moment, he still took it slow and careful with my bruised body in mind. He looked at me for approval when he grasped my thighs and wrapped them around his hips. If i shifted my hips the slightest i would feel his member, but i fought the urge. Instead i wrapped my arms, the best i could without hurting them, around his neck. We seperated, catching our breaths. As i tried my best to regain control he started mouthing down the skin on my throat. I leaned back against the tile, giving him more access which he gladly took. He left hickeys and bite marks in the path up to my mouth again. Our tongues started dancing again and i enjoyed the hint of toothpaste and whiskey stinging in his breath. I didn't catch him slowly putting me down until i felt the familiar cold wet hard floor beneath me. I broke our kiss to look at him, puzzled at his actions. He scanned my body like if i was a work of art which made my insides scorching hot. His long finger was wrapped lazily around my neck, letting his thumb follow the marks he left. He then lost all contact with my body which i whined in response. I saw him holding his serious demander and holding back the smile twitching in the corner of his full lips. "Turn around", he muttered underneath his breath as he swiped his own lip with the tip of his thumb. Breathless, pacing over what his next move was, i obligated. I placed my hands on the tile, closing my eyes. I heard him moving behind me, inspecting my new position. I felt his burning hot eyes on my backside before he finally took a step forward. I let out a embarrassing moan when i felt his hot and heavy member pressed up against my cheeks. He quickly wrapped a hand around my mouth but not applying pressure. A warning more then a threat. "You have to keep quiet or Tank is going to hear", he whispered in my ear as his hot breath against my neck lifted the hairs on my arms. His words made another shock of excitement go through my body. I nipped at the inside of his hand, not bothering to answer.

The hand that wasn't clamped over my mouth moved down my spine. His finger stroked the skin, getting closer and closer to where i wanted him. As if to motion him lower i arched my back, pressing my ass hard against his member. He growled and bucked up between my cheeks. His hand slipped between our bodies, distancing his cock from my pounding heat. I tensed up when his fingers brushed against the rim of my hole before he moved down. His ring and middle finger slowly stroked between my wet lips stopping right before my clitoris before moving back. "Riot", i whispered with closed eyes against his hand. "Hmm?", he was mocking me, his breath heavy next to my shivering shoulder. He now completely stopped touching my pussy and dragged it to my inside thighs instead. He prickled lightly over the skin, up and down. So close yet so far.

Pissed off, at his constant teasing i moved my hand backwards and found his member. I gripped the base tightly in which he hissed. "Good boy", i teased back as I moved my head just enough to suck down three fingers from the hand covering my mouth. "Shut up", he muttered and grasped the hand around him and placed it on the small of my back. But, he kept the fingers in my mouth, figuring it would keep me quiet. He finally moved his fingers back into my second heartbeat and started slowly moving the tips in circles. I whined around his finger in appreciation, and sucked down harder. "Fuck", he muttered before slipping a finger inside. I clamped down on it, happy to finally be filled with anything. "Fuck", he repeated, louder as he moved his finger in a painfully slow rhythm. "Riot", i moaned out, bucking back at his finger "if you don't go faster i will go and fuck Tank instead".

"Hey girl! You gotta move", i could barely make out the slurred calls from behind when the ringing in my ears was getting worse. The man in front of me threw a look behind him to see what the fuss was about when he caught my eye. Well i suppose it was his eye, it was hard making out behind the spec ops mask over his face. Before i could open my mouth he was rushing over at me. Even if his figure seemed miles away it was right in front of me in a few steps thanks to his huge legs. "Move", the masculine voice was muffled by the mask but i could still make out the tint of annoyance. Finally i realized my surroundings. The shock and adrenaline rushed off and i could feel the pain moving similar to a fog across my slumped body. I groaned as i rasped my palms against the rough asphalt. The man made a huff as he grasped my arms in a hard grip, so hard i bet it would bruise more than the impact of the ground. "Move", he repeated through gritted teeth as he in ease lifted me up on wobbly legs. I nodded, deciding it was best to obligate him. He gave me one last glance before he let go of my arm. It was a miracle that my legs not only  did not give in, but also successfully carried me away from the scene.

When i assumed i was safe, behind a car down the street, i slid down the wheels. I ignored the burn of the rubber on my back. I couldn't really tell if the tears moving down my red cheeks were from the cs particles inbred in my eyes or the pain of the rubber bullet shot at my back right by my spine. I supported my head on the car behind me. Fuck, i knew i should've stayed at home.

"The protests that at first was peaceful, has quickly turned into a planned attack against the police. The hoards of thugs are breaking into stores, burning down buildings and starting riots against the police force. Please help inform the authorities if you are aware of any neighbours or fellows who are taking place in the violent riot-", i rolled my eyes and turned of the TV. The media was once again doing what they do best, cherry pick. They had of course refused to inform the public of the violent and unnecessary procedures the police had taken. Given a women miscarriage, massed a child, crushed an old man's skull. The sudden wave of rage rolling through my body was used to throw the remote down at the couch. I had done the most like signed petitions, donated what i could afford, spoken out on social media and spread awareness. But i felt useless, like i wasn't doing a real change. I was watching the revolution from the shadows, quiet and invisible. I knew the danger of rioting, especially for someone who knew nothing of it. But they were out there, doing something more than rolling their thumbs. I wasn't a violent person, never been, but watching the oppression on black neighbours, friends, fellows had my head boiling. In a moment, i decided. i was going to stop rolling my thumbs, i was going to do a change. Without a second thought i started to collect necessaries like face covers and water. Then i left the house in a hurry, something i would come to regret later.

The pictures passing by my brain came in distance, like watching an old picture movie. First the ground swinging below me. then came the image of a chest pressed against my body, then came the darkening sky above me. But then i decided to close out my surroundings, the pounding headache stopping me from truly understanding my situation.

Next time my eyes were opening, well the best they could from the tear gas glueng my eyelids together, i was in a unfamiliar room. White walls, blue couch, spinning fan. Boring room. Not mine. I furrowed my eyebrows when the panic finally settled in. Where was i?

Kidnapped? possibly

I tried my best to sit up but the pain suddenly shooting down my spine made me slouch back in my previous position. I couldn't tell if the almost too soft couch under me was making the pain worse or better. "Good, your awake", a masculine voice boomed through the room. I whimpered in defeat as i realized i could hardly speak or move away from my kidnapper. "Hey! hey", the owner of the voice finally came in view "your pretty scratched up, please take it ease". The man was familiar, begging to be remembered in the back of my head. Another Second passed before i realized who stood in front of me. The man from earlier, who threw grenades back at the police. He was even more intimidating shadowing over my smaller body on the couch, still fully dressed in his protections gear. This time around, in less blurry circumstances i noticed long brown dreads stretching down the side of his front. huh

"You were the one that threw grenades at the police" my voice came out so dry i barely noticed it myself. I could see my pathetic self in the reflection of his bruised helmet. "That was me", another man stepped forward, dressed in almost identical protection as the man. This one, somehow equally tall but without dreads. I tensed up at his tone, evidence of annoyance visible behind it. "What were you thinking? huh?", he leaned down closer to be making me feel possibly shorter than before "showing up completely unprepared for a protest, no protection or gear. What did you think would happen?". It felt like i was being scolded as a child. I dropped my attention to the floor, blocking out his hard voice. I had the habit of crying when getting angry or pretty much experiencing any human emotion whatsoever. "Hey!", a softer voice from the other male "Tank, take it easy on her". Tank? What kinda fucking name was that?. I was getting noticeably angry, as i felt the tears starting to rise. Tank was right, i was stupid and reckless. I should've prepared, done my research. I was completely out of my field compared to these guys that seems like professionals. Possibly trained.

i had to get out of here, away from these guys. Away from the scolding. Despise the rush of adrenaline, the pain when i tried to stand up made me cry out. Both of the men rushed over to me as if in a shared instinct. the guy that wasn't tank reached out for my arm but i moved against the screaming of my brain. In a rushed other try i got up on wobbly legs. One step, fuck fuck fuck. Sweat coarsed down my skin from the strength every step took. But before i even had a chance of reaching the door it was covered by a huge frame. Tank. Motherfucker. Tears were prickeling from the overwhelment of everything. Pain, shame, exhaustion.