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my discord server is officially up and running. click the link in my carrd if you wanna join

I want to experience the kind of love I see in fanfiction. I want a partner who's patient and gentle with me even when I don't want them to be. I want them to slowly teach me it's okay to want things, even as I feel like a selfish, greedy pig. I want them to encourage me to ask for a hug/kiss when I'm feeling touch starved, even though I can't say the words out loud through the tears. I want them to remember the things I'm passionate about, but to enjoy them with me instead of threatening to take them away when I do something wrong. I want them to love me and keep me, even though I'm disgusting, damaged, perverted, and afraid. I want to not be afraid that it's temporary or I don't deserve it. I want to be able to commit to loving them like they love me, even though I'm terrified they'll change into the people I ran from and I'll have to run from them too. I want to escape the cycle of abuse, even though I'm terrified I carry it with me.

why do minecraft sheep look evil

thinking about opening an etsy shop for my art

I hate this new culture around dating and sex where everyone tries to be "nonchalant" and waters it down to "cracking" or something equally shallow. no, I don't want to "smash", I want sex so raw that it feels like I've been stripped down to my base layers. I want my partner to love so deeply it carves its mark into my chest and curls up in my ribcage. I want the kind of love where I can feel split open and exposed down to my very core and they keep loving me anyway, even when they can see all the ugly, rotten, festering wounds I never healed. I want them to open their chest and show me the filth within and not be afraid I'll leave them for it. Show me the beauty you hold in your eyes and the agony you hold in your heart. Show me everything ugly you hold inside you so I can kiss away your worries and help you heal.

meow

absolutely baffled that my parents didn't know you could wash a plastic shower liner. I was cleaning the bathroom and it was gross so I googled if I could wash it (you can) so I went to put it in the washer and my dad was like "I didn't think you could wash those. I just always buy a new one when it gets dirty". like what? bros probably bought like a million shower liners when he could've just been washing them this whole time.

I feel so bad for my rp partner. like, some days I'll reply within minutes, but other days I'll ghost them for hours and idk why 😭

I hate when I'm trying to tell my parents that they traumatized me as a kid, but I can't remember any of my childhood to give an example so they just think I'm lying and being dramatic.

just went down a rabbit hole about shibari and it's actually such a beautiful art form. I don't want to negate the kink part of it, but I was looking at some photos specifically designed to be art pieces rather than JUST for sex and it's genuinely so beautiful. I love the contrast between the fluid, dramatic poses and how tightly the model is bound. to me it looks like a metaphor for the pain of beauty and I love it

I need more tattoos...

I hate wanting to speak my truth but not being able to because my head tells me I'm faking it or exaggerating it for attention

the pain of wanting to draw because you've neglected your project for months but also hating the drawing so you don't want to finish it

I'm such a hopeless romantic. I wish I had a man to slow dance with and rest my head on his shoulder. I want to kiss his neck and whisper sweet nothings while we dance in the dark, barefoot and three glasses of wine into the evening

saw a tt post a while ago that I just remembered while writing smut. it was like, "are you actually a switch, or are you so much of a bottom you'll top to please your partner?" or something along those lines, and honestly, I felt that