I feel lost, angry, tired. Everyday going past faster, it feels like I’m sitting and watching life fly past, too scared to do anything more, to afraid to join in. Knowing I could have a life worth living, full of adventure and wonder, full of smiles, travels, friends and crazy stories but feeling glued to my sedentary, lonely life kills me. I don’t believe in spiritual stuff much anymore but I feel like my soul never attached itself to my body properly, or just vacated it at an early age. I don’t remember ever feeling connected to my self or my life, just an observer, watching life from afar- more like a bored toddler watching a shitty cartoon I guess.
I crave travel and knowledge but it feels so far out of my reach, my lack of work doesn’t help the situation but my constant anxiety is probably the real killer. Sucking my life force out, sapping me of all my energy, a possibility blocker.
This lack of connection, my extreme anxieties, it’s heart breaking for me- and worse, I know I could fix it. I try to force myself to fix it but I feel odd, alien. Then I wait for that moment, that thing that happens that changes everything and suddenly I’m off adventuring, but it never happens. I don’t want to be a lost person anymore, forever searching and never finding. I want discovery :\
gummygunk
pixelskylines
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
