A Memoir

My body is telling me

Look

This is how you really feel

I’m showing it

You could die from this pain

However, it seems like I just blinked and everything stopped being loud and I was still the same person.

I still crave from time to time, but I am finding the act of simply observing and never acting unbearable recently.

To become someone else because of her

I know what to focus on

I know what to chase after

I want and I need

I crave and I sometimes beg

I kneel and I pray

To look into her eyes

To find the beauty of one of gods creations

i seem to love life more than i thought

i had forgotten what my goal was

i had forgotten love wasn’t meant for me

i am starving

i want everything ive never been able to have

no one can stop me

has it’s consequences

for being a man with

no way to give her what she wants

Her dream of having six children

My dream of being a father

I have equally paid by pain alone

this feels like dying

Lord, please have mercy upon me

I am unaware of who

I am looking to get back to