eh, i would fuck harry styles

you know what i realized. maybe i’m a leslie knope. maybe i won’t meet my ben wyatt for like another ten years.

The line that will go down in history.  

If You Support Bernie Sanders

“You’re 73 years old now,” he said as the waiter brought our wine. “What have you learned since we last met?”… …he said, “Make a list.” …And I did. I made a list… 1. Nothing in this world is black and white, and everything is gray. 2. A cluttered desk is indeed the sign of a cluttered mind, and so is a cluttered house, a cluttered car, cluttered closets and drawers and even a cluttered e-mail inbox. 3. Everything is foreplay, which we forget, and which is why we have to have foreplay. 4. Setting the alarm 20 minutes early so there’s time for cuddling is a great way to get some foreplay in on a regular basis—not to mention the best way to start the day. 5. We are our environments—both our micro environments (our houses, our cars) and our macro environments (our cities, our world)—just ask the lady that cleans your house. 6. We are constantly getting green lights and red lights as to what direction to go in our lives. It’s that simple, but nobody wants to believe it’s that simple. 7. Suffering will always be with us no matter how many memes to the contrary there are on Facebook. 8. Art and music are the only things that make sense in this world—not football. 9. No matter what Fox News says, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. 10. Nothing can keep you young like an open mind—except maybe great sex. (Hell, even mediocre sex can add a few years.) 11. Contrary to what the song says, growing up is hard to do—not breaking up. 12. The French have it right. Vive la difference. 13. War is fruitless in any case. 14. If a person has a bad relationship with their ex and you’re in a new relationship with them, they’re probably not good relationship material. 15. If somebody tells us what is wrong with us or what they don’t like about us, they are probably, at least to a certain extent, right; owning up to it right away ends a lot of arguments. 16. Attitude really is everything. 17. God doesn’t have a beard—or a vagina for that matter. And finally: 18. Tequila goes with everything. This list is not in the order of importance but then, what I’ve learned too is that there is no such thing as order of importance. There is only chaos.

yanderehypnos:

Gentlemen. This is what rape culture is like: Imagine you have a Rolex watch. Nice fancy Rolex, you bought it because you like the way it looks and you wanted to treat yourself. And then you get beaten and mugged and your Rolex is stolen. So you go to the police. Only, instead of investigating the crime, the police want to know why you were wearing a Rolex instead of a regular watch. Have you ever given a Rolex to anyone else? Is it possible you wanted to be mugged? Why didn’t you wear long sleeves to cover up the Rolex if you didn’t want to be mugged?And then after that, everywhere you go, there are constant jokes about stealing your Rolex. People you don’t even know whistle at your Rolex and make jokes about cutting your hand off to get it. The media doesn’t help either; it portrays people who wear Rolexes as flamboyant assholes who secretly just want someone to come along and take that Rolex off their hands. When damn, all you wanted was to wear a nice watch without getting harassed for it. When you complain that you are starting to feel unsafe, people laugh you off and say that you are too uptight. Never mind you got violently attacked for the crime of wearing a friggin time piece.Imagining all that? It sucks, doesn’t it.Now imagine you could never take the Rolex off.