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The summer before I entered the 9th grade things with Druscilla took a turn. We spent countless hours on the phone talking, and every so often she would put the phone down for about ‘twenty minutes’ and then pick it back up again. Eventually, I asked her what she waa doing. She told me that she had been masturbating. I had never experienced anything like that before, and at this point in my life my only sexual exposure had been through fanfiction on Mibba and other sites.

Druscilla, who at the time was 21, said she would teach me how to masturbate. She told me what I could do to myself that would feel good, and how best to achieve orgasm. I was entirely too young to understand how inappropriate this was, which is the case for many children who are being sexually abused. At this point in the story I am going to take a break and say this: I am not interested at all in being told that I “consented”, or that children can consent to adults when there is such a significant age gap. Power dynamics come into play, and any adult should know better than to feel justified in introducing a child to sexaul acts of no volition. If you want to tell me how I brought this on myself, I should have known how to stop, blah blah blah, I am not interested in it. It took me years to even admit that what Druscilla did to me was abusive and was pure emotional and sexual manipulation, and strangers on the internet are not going to invalidate that.

Eventually, Druscilla asked me if I would be interested in masturbating together on the phone. She was a very sexually charged person, and this went on for a long time. Both of us were very fixated on certain members from the bands that we were listening to, and I will have no problem admitting that it was unhealthy on both of our ends. We would often roleplay, something that she started, where one of us would be the band person of the other’s choosing. I have come to believe that for Druscilla, I was a vessel for all of her sexual and emotional fantasies.

While all of this was going on, I was living with my very very elderly and sick grandmother and my father was not around. My mom passed away when I was five, and my dad and grandmother fought constantly and were both extremely emotionally abusive towards me. I was depressed, suicidal, and self harming on the regular. Druscilla knew that I was a chronically abused child, that I felt ugly and unlovable nearly all the time, and that I was not getting attention or affection from any other adults in my life except her. That is a totally inappropriate power advantage that she had over me for many reasons, and she took advantage of how young, impressionable, and vulnerable I was. Druscilla knew better, and I think that much is evident given how hard she has worked to lie her way out of this and hide her social media.

The masturbation on the phone and sexual roleplaying continued until the spring of 9th grade, when Fall Out Boy went on tour, Druscilla agreed to come to Texas to see me for the first time. As I mentioned previously, my father was not around and my grandmother was very very old, and very very sick. She knew that Druscilla was 8 years older than me and had become my best friend. She did not know that Druscilla was sexually manipulating me. Druscilla came to visit me in the that spring of 2009 and we went to the Believers Never Die tour shows in Dallas and Houston.

The first night that she visited me, she started making out with me almost immediately in my bedroom. I was uncomfortable, and asked her to stop. She was very upset, and my grandmother allowed us to take the car to the mall. While we were at the mall, she was still upset and was crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said it made her so sad that I was not comfortable kissing her, that she thought it was what I wanted based on our conversations, that I had made her believe that I was ready, that I was “making her feel like she raped me”. Oh, the irony.

Of course, as any child would do in that situation, I bent to her will. And so began the years of abuse. She was the only person who was close me, and I would have done anything to keep her around. That night, she had sex with me for the first time. I remember almost nothing about it. She had sex with me many other times on that trip while we were staying in a hotel. I remember the way she made me touch her, the things she wanted me to do to her, and how I felt. I felt like I had to do it to keep her happy, and you can see why. I felt scared, uncomfortable, but like I had to do it anyway. She got very upset, cried, or got angry if I didn’t want to have sex with her.

The summer of 2009 Druscilla wanted to leave Nebraska, and I asked my grandmother if she could move into our house. My dad was not agreeable at all - he thought from the beginning that Druscilla was molesting me, and she was very adamant about him not finding out (because she knew she was going to get in trouble). The sexaul coercion continued when Druscilla was living with me. I continued to be intimate with her because it was what she wanted, because it would keep her around, because she said sex made her happy, because she said sex was one of the only things that made her feel good, because she said I was sexy and hot and beautiful and no one else had before. I was desperate, lonely, and being abused without even realizing it.

Everything came to a head in the fall of the following year - so, for everyone looking for timeline, she first molested me in spring of 2009, and it continued until the fall of 2010, my sophomore year of highschool. My grandmother was getting even sicker, and eventually she had to be moved to hospice. My father moved back into the house when this happened, and very shortly after my father kicked Druscilla out of the house. I could give many details about the things she wanted me to do to her and the sexual encounters that we had, but I don’t think that should be the focus of this post. Anything from having me pour wax on her body to fucking her with a Maglite candle, it was nothing a twenty one/twenty two year old grown up should have been doing with a thirteen or fourteen year old.

After Druscilla was kicked out, we had about a week long period (if I’m remembering correctly, welcome to the power of traumatic memory: nothing makes sense) before my dad told me he had found out about our sexual encounters. A friend of mine from high school named told their mom, and she told my dad. I was still at this point trying to defend Druscilla, telling my dad how much she loved me, but he insisted on going to the police. Foolishly, I warned her about it.

Druscilla ended up spending some time in jail, but the evidence wouldn’t hold up without me going into court with her. So, when any of you say “there wasn’t even enough evidence to keep her in jail”, you are slightly misinformed.

Druscilla was once engaged to a sixteen year old as well, if that speaks to her habits with relation to teenagers.

I’ll go ahead and pre-emptively answer all the questions that I think are going to come up, as well as any rumors.

Why did you wait so long to post something like this?

It took me a very long time to even begin to understand how wrong the situation was. Now that I am the age she was, I understand more than ever how deeply damaging and wrong what she did was. And it’s really hard to see other people making call out posts about her without the full context and information. The truth deserves to be told, ya feel?

How did any thirteen year old’s parents feel comfortable with a 20 year old moving in?

As I mentioned, my grandmother was very very sick and practically bed-ridden. She very honestly had no clue what was going on because of it. I was primarily raising myself by the age of eight or nine roughly, and my dad lived with his girlfriend. My mother had passed away when I was five.

You consented/you should have screamed and kicked her away/what she did wasn’t rape/etc

What happened between us is long term childhood sexual abuse. Druscilla groomed me, made me feel special, manipulated the fact that I was lonely and starved for an adult figure to pay attention to me, and made me feel like I was mature enough to handle what happened between us - that’s what GROOMING is, and it’s a fucking thing that people do. Any messages or asks that contain statements like this will be deleted, or posted without response.

“Druscilla was taking care of a disabled child”/Druscilla was a nanny

I’m not disabled. I have mental illnesses, quite a few, and I acted out a good bit, but I am not disabled. And Druscilla was NOT hired as my nanny. She moved in because she was my friend at the time and my grandmother wanted someone to be able to take me around because she couldn’t. Unbeknownst to me until long after it started, my grandmother was giving Druscilla money without me knowing. I have reason to believe she was also stealing, given how much disposable income she had while living with me without a job. If my grandmother had known what was really occurring between us, I doubt she would have let it continue, which is why as I stated previously, Druscilla was so insistent on me keeping everything that happened between us private.

for those who still somehow defend her being innocent and the stuff about her sexual stuff with a minor being fake with no sources.

mugshots.com/US-Counties/Texas/Williamson-County-TX/Danielle-Selders.68603131.html

bailbondcity.com/texas/williamson-inmate-Selders/2010-08675

that is her real name as confirmed by someone who was formerly very good friends with her a long time ago. two charges of sexually assaulting a child and one of online soliciting a minor. she was in jail for around two months in 2010.

and now she has an 18 year old boyfriend when she is nearly 30.

Around the time the milk fic was written, Dru met a minor (under the age of consent) online. They proceeded to move in together, at which point the minor was coerced into paying for things they should not have had to and ultimately coerced into sex by Dru, making it, at this point, statutory and emotionally manipulative rape. 

Dru now has a fairly substantial following within the Fall Out Boy bandom. This following is comprised largely of young people who look up to her without knowing who she is and what she’s done. The people who look up to her now are roughly the same age as the person she manipulated and ultimately turned into a victim of abuse.