𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄!

“okay, sure, the kid’s a genius and he’s probably hiding out at cindy’s.” lucas’ tone made it clear he didn’t think that was the truth at all, but it would be a much kinder fate. he just didn’t believe in coincidences anymore. not in hawkins. if it had been any other kid -any other kid except for maybe willa or ward- maybe he wouldn’t be so hung up on the idea of it being more than a coincidence. maybe if it had just been the receipts at the restaurant and not a time capsule of their dead friend’s things, maybe if max wasn’t having dreams again-

twice was a coincidence. this was way more than twice. instead of going to mike’s side, lucas moved a bit deeper into the trees, giving him a bit of space while still staying within earshot. he was glad that he hadn’t thought to snag the spare walkie out of his trunk. it probably wouldn’t have helped and would only have bothered mike more. he turned on his heel when mike popped back to his feet, instantly closing some of the space he’d intentionally left between them and shining his light in mike’s direction. “hey. you’re not going anywhere, alright? i’m with you. let’s just…”  he still thought there was something more at play here, but he could keep that under wraps for now. he could do some digging, look for luke, and keep mike calm. that was kind of his job as best friend and favorite uncle, right? he could deal with this. he’d been doing it for years. privately, though, he was thinking it’s already open. “…keep going.” because what else could they do, really? lucas didn’t really think they were going to find luke out here but…if they were going to find him in hawkins, why not mirkwood? why not where it’d all started in the first place? he kept going. 

.

mike took a moment to ground himself, breathe, let the previously piling thoughts melt away as he listened to lucas’ voice. slowly, he nodded, agreeing they should keep going. after about five minutes of heavy breathing sniveling mike was ready to go. silently, he followed after lucas. he ran the hand that didn’t hold his flashlight through his hair, or over his chin. he was fixated on the night luke went missing. mike was looking for wrong steps, gaps, when he remembered what had even happened before they knew...the time capsule, the letter. he hadn’t even had time to think about the letter from will. he stayed quiet, mulling over the possibility of any connection between the time capsule and luke’s disappearance. after ten full minutes, mike came up short. 

breathless, he stopped in another clearing, leaning against a tree as he looked upwards. mike was seemingly frustrated and fascinated by what thoughts were spiraling through his head. he dropped his chin and slowly asked, “so uh...what did you think about that letter from will?” mike asked, giving lucas his time to respond. but it was the bare minimum because eventually he cut him off, theorizing slowly but with a dangerous, manic edge in his voice, “all i’m saying, it’s a little weird that...it happened the night we opened the time capsule like...what are the chances it was a gate or something?” mike pushed himself off up of a tree, finally feeling a sliver of hope as he paced, “and in the gate is luke.” he said it like lucas hadn’t previously implied it, but the letter...the letter made a difference in his logic. “and with luke...who knows what else could be there...who else...” he breathed out, then said it, “will? el? i mean why else...”  for a few minutes more, mike paced, wondering if this meant they should go to the school, or what. he had done a complete one-eighty, a total flip-flop in thinking, but in his state, what he was saying made sense. when mike finally stopped he put his hands on his hips and eyed lucas with great offense, “what is that look for?” 

John remembered the awkward conversations between Joyce Byers and his father when her son was missing. She needed money. And items. Probably for the search. Melvald’s wasn’t doing great and his father’s didn’t have much to spare, so he understood the struggle at that time. Now they were doing decent, though. So he just wrapped everything up for Mike and handed it over to him. Contribution. It wasn’t much, but at least it would make his flashlight work and perhaps his head more focussed. Everyone needed food and drinks to stay clear after all.

He offered another pressed, sympathetic smile. “Go find him. And if you need anything, you give a call. I’ll make sure to bring it over.”

.

mike took the items from johnny with a grateful nod. this meant much more than him than all of the people who either a) pretended they were so close to him and his son, attempting to organize search parties and whatnot or b) the people who looked at michael sideways, because they always had, they always thought he was a looney, a loser, and a bad dad. this was...neither of those things though, and mike would remember that. without much thought, though weary, he offered, “come for dinner sometime, john. when luke is home.” 

he flashed a false smile back at johnny and nodded. he would. if he ever remembered to charge his phone, or go home instead of carry on with the search, whatever that looked like this late in the game. awkwardly mike waved as he crossed the threshold of the door, “uh...take care!” he said, probably not loud enough for johnny to hear. and like that, he was gone. 

“and you’re friends with me,” lucas chirped as he climbed out of the car and stretched. he paused to peer in to the open car door. “so what does that make you?” logically, if lucas was dumb for singing along to music mike didn’t like, mike was dumber for being friends with him. but, hey, if making a bit of a fool out of himself took mike’s mind off of things, if only for a minute, it was definitely worth it. they’d been friends since they were little kids, since lucas’ baseball ended up in the wheelers’ back yard and mike initially wanted to keep it (finder’s keepers, after all). this was just another outing in a long list of things they’d done together.

it was a lot less fun than the school dances and d&d campaigns and camping trips, though. 

he blinked between his friend and the compass in his hand. “i mean,” he rubbed the back of his neck and pulled the hand holding the compass back, half expecting mike to smack it out of his hands. “shit, mike, you don’t really think he just ran off, right? he’s not stupid.” he wanted to tell mike about what max had told him, but max was always a touchy subject between them, even before she’d walked back into town for the funeral. besides, that wasn’t really his thing to tell, so he bit his tongue and followed after mike into the trees.

luke wasn’t stupid. he wouldn’t have run away for this long and if he had, he’d have been somewhere they could find him: at dustin’s or lucas’ or cindy’s. he was none of those places. and ever since the time capsule, lucas had the sneaking suspicion that they just because they’d closed the gates, it didn’t mean they couldn’t be opened again. he kept the compass in hand as he walked deeper into the woods, flashlight swinging. 

“luke! it’s uncle lucas. if you’re out there, speak now or forever hold your peace!” his voice echoed off of the tree trunks and something rustled ahead. lucas’ heart rocketed into his throat as he turned his flashlight in that direction, but it was just a startled deer that burst through the brush, looked him dead in the eye, and then darted off. lucas’ heart started up again and he cursed under his breath, one hand on his knee. “because i’m worried that it’s not just a missing person’s case. it’s happened before.” 

it wasn’t the first time that will hung between them. it wouldn’t be the last. he shifted his light and did a quick sweep of the clearing they were in. if he squinted hard enough, he saw shadows that looked like a girl with superpowers. he blinked and she was gone. lucas rubbed his tired eyes and exhaled on a sigh. he pocketed the compass, but only because of the way mike’s voice shook. “have you tried the walkies?” he asked as he stepped past mike “checked the old frequencies?” 

.

to be fair, if lucas still asked him today about that baseball, mike would totally claim it as his own. why wouldn’t it be? if lucas cared so much about some stupid baseball, maybe he shouldn’t have thrown it so far. mike didn’t even like sports, or baseball. in fact, he detested both ever since he tried to play kindie soccer and the kids would trip him or the boys would swipe the ball away before a kick, straight out of a peanuts comic. it was humiliating. but mike kept lucas’ baseball hostage, offering comic books “read” together before they could even really read, playing batman and spider-man, and perpetually trying to drag will out of his house because mike needed lucas to meet him ASAP! then eventually, the ball was forgotten and here they were thirty-some years later, deep in the woods, searching for something far more precious that had been lost. 

“he could’ve! i don’t know! it could be anything!” mike insisted tensely, then reeled himself back in with a few deep breaths, “everything but that.” he made that distinction clear. he didn’t want it to be true. mike didn’t want to get his son back, hooked up to hospital tools, coughing up slugs and tortured by nightmares for the rest of his life. he couldn’t watch another person he...really really really cared about go through that again. luke couldn’t be there, neither could will, or el, because there didn’t exist anymore. “i think he ran because he’s smart. if he was dumb, we would have found him by now.” mike argued, but welcomed the ambient sounds of the wood consume them for the next stretch of their trek. 

mike belatedly called out after lucas, “luke! it’s dad!” his shout sounded so heartbroken, it only got worse when the deer rustled past. for a split second, mike thought maybe luke had decided to give up, come home, and when he realized it was a deer, his heart shriveled in his chest like a coke can. mike fell to a crouch, covering his eyes with his hands. the more lucas spoke, the more mike shook his head, “no, lucas, no!” he interjected, then shot up to full height, “you can’t do this to me, man.” he sighed, shaking his head, “it’s like drugs or something. i don’t want to go all cuckoo again and...and...not be here for when luke is found...” this was so fucked. mike reiterated urgently, “lucas i...that is a whole other can of worms. we should not open it. not this time.” 

nancy had been upset, annoyed, and mad at mike several times in their lives, but never had he seen her so dangerously hurt around him since luke had gone missing. he did his best to ignore it and so did she, working side by side, but at the end of the day, they were both feeling the effects pretty hard. it was getting to the point where everything felt hopeless, and mike was trying his best to get creative with solutions. he’d searched the woods with lucas and tried to follow up with the twins. desperate times called for desperate measures, so him and nancy where camped out in the living room of his town home, filing through papers from nearby cities, listening to leads off the hotline murray had set up, and making calls. 

this was the way they comforted each other. while mom had been emotional and clingy to them at times, dad ensured they were messed up enough that even just hugging felt weird for them. so instead, they sat, mostly annoyed with each other, and worked diligently. because the truth was, neither one of them wanted to be alone. mike crumbled up what felt like the thousandth leadless newspaper and threw it behind his shoulders. part of him felt bad they weren’t out with the various search parties, but maybe he could convince nancy to go tomorrow. 

mike reached for his landline, tugging it onto his couch, which he leaned against as he sat on the floor. his fingers ghosted over familiar numbers before he glanced at nancy, “has anybody called dad?” it wasn’t likely luke had taken a visit to grandpa ted, he barely knew the guy, but maybe if he was angry enough to skip town, indianapolis seemed like a good place to go. he held out the phone to nancy, “you should call him.” mike suggested. there was no way he was going to do it. dad had been annoyed with mike...well...it felt like since birth, but their tensions escalated when mike had decided to go to college for writing and ted told him it wasn’t a real career. mike pushed the phone towards nancy again, “go on.” 

katherine didn’t worry about how she felt towards mike.. if anything she would go back to her distaste for him after she helped him find the batteries. she could tell his demeanor changed slightly when realizing it was her but she shook it off. she was still there to help. if only for luke and not because she particularly cared for any of dustin’s friends. 

fighting the urge to say i know what d batteries are she began looking on the shelf once more. scanning over them to see if any had slipped or fallen through the cracks. 

“they’re fine.” she replied, “worried about their friend but fine.” katherine wasn’t sure how to say her kids were all good. she felt bad considering luke was not. or at least that’s what everyone thought and it was scary to think about. 

.

mike felt like kind of a jerk for not considering ward and willa up until this point. sure, his thought had been elsewhere, but sometimes it felt like luke was closer to them than his own dad. most of what katherine said sounded like static in his ears and while he pretended to look further for the batteries he wanted, he got to thinking about the twins. “hey, katherine...” he started, looking over at her with threaded eyebrows and an uncomfortable stare. mike was obviously still thinking over what exactly he wanted to say. “um, so i guess, now that we’re talking about the kids.” he paused to lick his lips, “do they maybe...know anything? like, has anyone asked? if luke said anything to them, before...” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. 

instead, mike followed his craziest thoughts downward and outright asked katherine, “could you check with them? or have dustin? it’s obviously really urgent and they’re both good kids, dustin’s taught them the value of telling the truth...and...and...i think they could help! really! and even if luke didn’t say anything, you know, they have kid brains. they’d think like him, give us ideas and stuff.” mike, not even for a second thought about what he was saying. or how that might be traumatizing to the twins. or how implying dustin valued honesty to katherine’s face was slightly problematic. 

lucas held a hand to his heart dramatically. “college kid shit,” he parroted back, his tone matching mike’s with an exaggerated eyeroll. “excuse me for wanting to be relatable to my students.” not that a ton of his eighth graders were listening to the masterpiece that was confessions, but a handful might! and, besides, it was better than whatever sad shit mike had in his rotation. once they returned to mike’s car, he raised his eyebrows and mouthed nickelback? in a way that would tell mike all he needed to know about how he felt about his friend’s music choices. 

he kept aa fairly neutral expression as mike drove. ever since they’d been kids, he’d really preferred being the one behind the wheel between the three of them. it gave him a sense of control over the situation. he couldn’t help the death grip he had on the handle near his head as they rolled through hawkins’ residential area. it wasn’t that mike was driving particularly erratically…it was just that lucas wasn’t driving. he hated that.

still, he made a show of singing along to the chorus of the second track, pitching his voice higher and bobbing his head along to the beat. it wasn’t like he wasn’t still worried. if anything, his pulse rate had ticked up. but if he acted like everything was mostly okay, maybe some of that would rub off on mike. besides, it was a good song, no matter what mike thought. 

as they rolled to a stop, lucas turned to follow mike’s line out sight towards the tree line. this shortcut always kind of gave him the creeps, but he’d never admitted that to the rest of the party. now, he felt a little bit justified in it. not only had their best friend vanished from this very piece of woods, but they’d also run into a weird girl with powers here. granted, that second bit had ended up alright, but the weird fog settling on the ground didn’t give him much confidence that this would be another lucky time. 

much like when they were kids, lucas didn’t admit that. he just turned on his keyring flashlight, handed the package of batteries over. “i was born ready,” he said with more confidence than he felt. he opened the door and stepped out onto mirkwood, making his way towards the woods while flicking his compass open. “you think we should head in the direction of the lab or…” lucas rotated on the spot, letting the compass settle. “maybe the cabin?” 

.

lucas had always been...like a breath of fresh air, whether it be to mike’s dismay or not. for about three minutes, give or take, lucas performed usher in his passenger seat, and it made mike crack a faint smile. it was times like that mike was grateful for lucas being so different from him. as opposed to when they fought, that’s when their differences irritated him most. it had always been that way and mike didn’t see any reason why that would ever stop. his tired eyes darted beside him to lucas and his crooked smile murmured, “you look so dumb.” mike wouldn’t want any other best friend in the world. or anyone else to venture with him into the thick woods. 

mike sized up the treeline before they moved at all. forever ago, he entered these trees and his life changed permanently. he was hopeful, because he had to be, that it could happen again. for the better, for luke to come back. he was probably too smart of a kid to get lost in the woods, but in hawkins you could never be certain. mike double checked the car was locked by tugging on the handle, but frowned when lucas procured a compass. no, no, no. 

“lucas, you don’t really think...” mike trailed off to eye the compass for any abnormalities. reliance on a compass meant a gate, and a gate could mean anything. it could mean luke was stuck like will had once been. it had heavy implications when it came to will and el? what did they die for if a gate was able to open? what if they didn’t...? mike could feel himself slipping into a spiral and snapped at lucas, “put it away. we don’t need it.” before forging ahead and into the wood. 

it was still. too still for his son to be anywhere nearby, but maybe they just had to go further into the wood. mike flashed his light in all directions, then cupped his mouth when one hand, “luke! it’s dad! luke wheeler!” nothing. agitated, mike finally turned to lucas again, to see if maybe he had any leads, but the compass in his friend’s hand burned his eyes and mike scoffed, “dude, why do you still have that out?” it was a weird role reversal for them. in the beginning, lucas had been insisting will was gone and el was a weirdo and mike was buying into the unbelievable. time was funny that way. “put it away.” he urged, a second time. mike didn’t even want to think about luke and the upside down. 

In response, John immediately grabbed one package of batteries and dropped it into the paper bag, along with the water and a snickers he kept near the register. Somehow knowing that Mike got a snickers on him was a comforting thought.

He caught the mumbles, but decided not to respond. Sarah meant well, even though a sandwich would not bring the child back. Unless the child was starving and drawn to the smell of turkey and mayonnaise, of course. “What I mean is that I know what it’s like to have a chaotic mind. That you forget stuff like eating and drinking and that is not gonna be helpful.” John pressed his lips in another sympathetic smile. “Not saying you are chaotic, but I can imagine the whole situation is. —Just try to take care of yourself, too. Like they say in the planes; first put the mask on yourself and then on the other or something like that.”

.

“i don’t have a chaotic mind.” michael protested. he understood johnny was trying to sympathize with him and if he wasn’t such a wreck, maybe he’d appreciate it. but if he was like mike, meaning institutionalized, he’d understand why he was so cagey about statements like that being thrown around. people in hawkins talked about mike, his parenting, and how he was a nutcase around town. and he didn’t doubt johnny knew what that felt like. but the last thing mike needed right now was to get hauled back to the loony bin. mike needed to be here, to find luke. so he was trying his best to hold himself together, unfortunately some innocent melvald’s patrons had to see a lapse. it didn’t mean anything. 

johnny backtracked and mike breathed out, “right.” his version of an apology, for being so quick to assume. “i am taking care of myself. or trying to.” that was a fucking lie, but mike was doing his best right now. and if one small lie helped johnny melvald sleep at night, then so be it. 

It was something Ryan would never know, the ocean inside the other’s chest coursing with the storm of emotions that would spill out in this moment. Perhaps there was something similar he understood, pain, loss, heartache. But not this. Whatever it was that Mike was currently feeling that made him so rigid, made him arch up in defence at even the slightest gesture in his direction. But what Ryan knew, is that he couldn’t blame him for the outpour of emotions. 

He’d remain there, something steady in the store unfazed by the every ounce of the other man’s body screamed to get back. Ryan wouldn’t accept his apology, he wouldn’t even address the unnecessary thing, partially because he didn’t have the words for it to begin with. Instead he’d focus on the practicality, the smallest thing he could do to help, to let Mike know that it was alright. He lands on the simplest thing, both getting away from the prying eyes of those in the store, and hopefully a solution. “I don’t have spare batteries on hand, but I got a flashlight or two in my truck if that’s alright?”

.

mike consistently had a problem with feeling like the world rushed passed him before he got the chance to land on his feet and assess his surroundings. for fucks sake he hadn’t even grieved el and with through tears until a year after they were gone. he was still grieving them. he was always stubbornly stuck in cement blocks he built while everything else flew by. and now was no exception. even when he was supposed to be thinking about where to find luke, mike found himself hung up on the first time luke laughed or when he walked for the first time, begrudgingly, towards lucas. and while mike was in a hell he’d built, it was probably beneficial for ryan, who mike would’ve yelled at otherwise for standing silently like an idiot. 

he looked past ryan and out into the parking lot before he slowly nodded, like snapping out of a trance, “that’s...fine...” mike said slowly, gulping loudly like a guilty child. he followed silently out to ryan’s truck, looking over his shoulder for a flashlight when something occurred to mike. he didn’t really know this guy. not at all. sure, he knew his face, but not him as a person. assuming he thought the worst, mike began to word vomit, “listen, i’m uh, i’m not like...that. i’m just...you know.” most people in hawkins thought he was a bad father and breaking down in the aisles of the store probably weren’t helping that narrative, but he had to be more cautious so other narratives didn’t start. like they had for jonathan and will. the assumption that he might of done something to luke would actually kill mike. he took a flashlight gratefully and added, “i know people talk” 

it was hard to ignore the missing child posters of the sweet boy that called her children friend. katherine couldn’t imagine the pain or suffering that mike was going through. the thought of losing ward or willie sent her heart pounding into overdrive. so mike crashing though the store and screaming wasn’t as big of a shock to her as she had thought. but, she knew how people were… and while mike probably would never be on her side since she was against dustin it wasn’t going to stop her from helping him in a crisis. 

pushing through the crowd of people katherine pushed the woman’s phone  the other way and walked to mike. “come on, i’ll help you find the batteries.” 

katherine began looking at the shelf… or really on the ground where he had thrown the items. “mike, what kind of batteries do you need?” she said as she knelt looking through the small pile. it was the least she could do in this moment.

.

mike didn’t recognize the woman helping him out as katherine initially. in fact, he had to take a moment to pause and study her. he didn’t understand, if he was in katherine’s shoes, he wasn’t sure that he’d be so grateful to help out one of his exes oldest and closest friends. but he allowed her to all the same. her presence made him embarrassed, mike felt caught. like seeing someone he’d once known pretty well reminded him that these people in the store were real, and they’d just witnessed him freak out. maybe if mike’s heart wasn’t already in shambles, he’d feel the weight of that more. on a regular day, this kind of outburst would be totally humiliating. 

but instead, he grounded himself and offered a meek smile to katherine, acknowledging this was awkward, “just D batteries, those are the big ones.” mike explained to her. he put his hands in his pockets, peering over his own shoulder to make sure no other customers stopped to make a spectacle. in a weird way, he felt like katherine maybe understood? she was still really involved with willa and ward, mike knew at least she wouldn’t laugh at him or paint him the town nutcase. despite whatever tension sat there. mike had been pretty solidly defensive of dustin in the past. he scratched behind his ear, trying to think of any conversation when he distantly asked, “willa and ward all good?” 

if this was any other day, lucas would have  laughed at mike’s reaction to finding the right package of batteries, for god’s sake, but this was approximate seven days a.l. (after luke), so the best lucas could muster was was a scoff and a halfhearted eyeroll. “you’re welcome,” he said with a firm nod. his eyes drifted out the front windows of the store, where the sunlight was beating down on his worn-out honda, but he didn’t feel the need to point out that it was broad daylight. mike knew that. he wasn’t blind. besides, what would that help? (who would it help? not mike. certainly not luke.)

“yeah. all the overgrowth.” lucas wrinkled his nose as he followed mike to the front of the store. he paused only to fish his wallet out of his back pocket and leave a few bills on the counter for the batteries before trailing his friend outside. “only if you promise to stay in your lane. and no sad music.” as if to emphasize this, he jogged across the street to his own car and dug around in the backseat for a cd. he ignored a couple of mixes from last summer, skipped right over the kate bush, and snagged the most recent usher from the case. he locked up the car and felt only mildly bad about leaving yoda to starve on only kibble until later that night.

he held up the cd with a grin. “yeah.” he ignored the way his stomach dropped at mirkwood. for a couple of years after that first run-in with the upside down, lucas had purposely avoided the shortcut, preferring to take the long way to will or dustin’s. but by high school, he was back to cutting through there. now? lucas couldn’t remember the last time he’d set foot there. “seems as good a place as any. don’t kill me,” he warned as he slid into the passenger seat of mike’s car and put in the cd he’d chosen. “let’s roll.”

.

as they emerged into the daylight, mike frowned as he glanced in the direction of his own car, “i wasn’t going to play sad music.” he protested with a sigh before following after lucas. fine. he could pick the music. mike stuffed himself into lucas’ low to the ground car, waiting for him to decide on a soundtrack. when he held up usher’s confessions, he grimaced, “really? i can’t believe you listen to that college kid shit.” mike shook his head. he hadn’t listened to usher really, but all of the new stuff was the same repetitive, thoughtless, garbage. it didn’t really matter, like at all, but it gave mike brief reprieve from all the horrible, frantic thoughts he had been having about luke on a loop since that night at enzo’s.  he braved the sunlight again and stretched himself back out, walking back over to his car. he climbed in and started the car up, not hesitating greatly. mike was nervous about poking around in that area, but knowing he didn’t have to go it alone gave him whatever sliver of peace of mind he could have given the current situation. “wait hold on...” mike grumbled before lucas popped in his CD and popped out all the right reasons by nickelback. his car didn’t have a disc carousel. mike carelessly disposed of the nickelback cd into his glove compartment, then pulled out of the parking lot.  the intro wasn’t so terrible, but mike figured nothing was going to actually sound pleasant to him right now. he wouldn’t be able to properly enjoy anything until luke was home safe and sound. it wasn’t that the following song mike figured was probably called yeah, was bad, it was simply...an interesting choice on lucas’ end, “wow, lucas.” mike said, stifling laughter even though he felt like he wasn’t really supposed to, “incredible choice.” he shook his head, smile fading when he refocused on the road. 

eventually, mike pulled off to the side of the road. he looked at the woods on the passenger’s side like they were haunted. will went missing around here, they found el around here, maybe they’d get lucky for a third time. it seemed probable, but mike couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to get out of the car. slowly, he turned the nob on his car radio down. he held his breath momentarily, staring past lucas and out into the thick trees. mike let the breath out then eyed lucas, “you ready?” he asked, like he wasn’t the one hesitating. 

John offered a sympathetic patting on his back and gave a nod at Mike’s request before making his way over to the storage area. He made his way over to the corner where he stored the batteries. Eyes scanned the boxes before deciding on which one to grab. He took the box under his arm and put it on the counter with a light thud. Trained fingers tore the tape off and opened it. “How many you need, Mike?” he asked, eyes daring to meet his gaze.

Before the other could answer, he was already on his way to the cooler to go grab a cooled bottle of mineral water. It was summer after all and he figured Mike could use some refreshment. Besides, his mother used to drill on him that dehydration made you mind foggy. That was the least Mike needed right now. John put the bottle next to the box and already grabbed a paper bag for easy carrying.

“You know, my neighbor, she told me she was doing some catering at City Hall. Sandwiches and stuff. For the search parties. Maybe when you’re in the area also go grab something to eat.” he suggested, even though he realized food was probably the last thing on Mike’s mind. “Or maybe just grab a protein bar on your way out.”

.

“uh...” mike rubbed a finger over his eyebrow while he thought. he was mostly relieved to be in the back room, away from prying eyes and anything that could potentially make him lose it again. he watched the box fall onto the counter. it dawned on him there that none of this felt quite real. sometimes, mike felt like he was merely waiting to wake up from a nightmare, that none of this was really happening. “just whatever comes in a packet...” he stared some more before a belated, “thanks.” 

he followed johnny around the store like a kid, half listening to what he had to say about city hall and sandwiches and eating. all mike could muster up of a reply was a mumbled, “yeah, well fuck city hall.” especially because he worked there. especially because they had no idea how to actually look for his son, and thought finger foods would make everyone feel better. they were wrong. 

Wooden panels lift and splinter, the paint on the outside bubbles and flaked under the years of sun and humidity that meet it each summer. The house creaks with the weight of ghosts. He has to remember to breathe in moments like this. These moments of silence that settle like an ever present shadow. The radio chimes from the kitchen, distant chatter that only seems to make the whole place feel that much more hollow. For the silence was never the background, it was a greedy thing. It’s the same every night, dim yellowing lights above barley illuminating the room, artificial voices chattering away from another room as if it could be another person. Crickets just outside the windows singing to the night, and moths beating against the glass panels trying to find a way in. And Ryan stood in the kitchen, beer in hand as his eyes search the room for a new project.

He wasn’t even listening to the radio, switched to some world news that always had something to talk about. But Ryan couldn’t stop listening to the constant drip from the tap, water droplets against metal. It almost turned to a walking beat, a slow steady pace, only to slow right down and almost stop. But it was never gone. He probably had some plumbers tape in the shed, a quick fix. He even had all the tools he needed to do the proper job, but thought he’d rather an excuse to leave the house even if just for a moment.

The last thing he was expecting at Melvald’s was to bare witness to the emotional breakdown of Mike Wheeler. Eyes bore down to the man, whispers passing lips through the store, and he couldn’t help but look to the man and know the pain radiating from him. Ryan would be soft in the same way a dull ache would be, leaning down beside the man, his movements so cautious. Too careful, but he wasn’t much more than a stranger. Or as much as you could be in Hawkins. “Hey,” the attempt to keep his voice a careful tone, “Why don’t you tell me what you need the batteries for, I might be able to help.”

.

when the stranger approached him, mike was immediately combative, “a flashlight?” he scoffed in a way that said are you a moron? he knew that he was being a little...much, but he’d probably have the decency not to make fun of a man who’s son was missing. he even held his arms out in defense, like an animal telling the humans to stay back! he rolled his shoulders back to try and make himself look taller. mike was no good at fighting, but he could at least make himself look big. 

the strangers slow drawl and steady responses gave mike time to actually breathe and he calmed down, just a little bit. enough to not be so defensive, but still have a bit of his guard up. “sorry um...” he gripped the back of his neck and let his hand fall, “sorry, tough week.” he shrunk into himself as much as he could, frowning and turning his back on the people who had gathered instead. he hoped they would go away. mike lowered his voice and unsuccessfully tried to appear normal, “um, yeah, well, you see, the thing about that is unless you have batteries or another flashlight, i don’t think you can help me out.” 

Brows furrowed at the commotion in the isles. Hassle usually went over his head, but this was impossible to miss. Johnny had been aware of the whole situation with the child; another thing that was quite hard to miss and he had offered supplies if they needed any. Of course Mike was not in that clear state of mind right now. All he had to do was ask and John would go and get him all the batteries he needed.

He blinked in discomfort as he approached the scene, lips pressed together into a thin line. But Mike was already dashing off and the other male forced himself to skip after him. “Hey, Mike, I’ll get you those batteries, we’ve got plenty in the back.” High emotions made him feel restless, so John automatically pressed his palms to the side of his legs before they slid into his pockets; a form of containment and control he unconsciously seemed to need.

Eyes gazed about the bystanders as he paused, shifting on his feet a bit. “This is not some kind of tele novella, I’d like to ask everyone to continue their shopping or perhaps come back at another time.” Lips pressed together again and his head made a determined nod to emphasize his point. This was the right way to approach stuff like this, right? Hell, who knew? This wasn’t every day stuff..

When everyone seemed to go and mind their own business again, he turned to Mike, inhaling sharply, his tone lowering into something he hoped would seem more helpful. “Is there anything else you need, Mike? Maps? Flashlights? I- I got ink for printers if you need them for flyers or if you wanna put some stuff out here we can definitely do that.” he paused, unsure if he even was being helpful.

.

mike was impatient. even the offer of more batteries in the back weren’t enough to coax him into being calm. instead, he shouted at johnny, “take me back there then! i want the batteries!” he cut himself off to yell at the customers again, “didn’t you hear him? walk away! i’m fine! this is normal!” it was a brutal type of denial. mike didn’t know right from left or up from down, he only knew that he felt fundamentally torn open. luke meant so much to him and mike didn’t even realize it. 

eventually the crowd dispersed and he felt dizzy as johnny talked to him things about missing posters and maps and what he needed. mike wanted to scream that all he needed was his son. the son who would cry when mike clumsily brushed through his curls, his toothless grin when he finally figured out how to hit a baseball, mike even thought about how luke would yell at him. it was a pain in the ass, but now in his absence, mike was weirdly proud that his kid was just like him. things would change when luke got back. mike would do better this time. he really would. and that was when luke got back. when. 

snapping out of his haze, mike shook his head, and cleared his throat despite it feeling like sandpaper, “just the batteries. for my flashlight.” he ran a worried hand through his hair, then added as an afterthought, “and maybe some water.” mike shook like he was coming down from a bad high, suddenly feeling paranoid about feeling so visible. he pointed vaguely to where he imagined the back stock room was, “let’s just go, alright?”  

bizarrely, the bored teen in charge of putting sale stickers on the almost-expired cans of green beans in aisle four had been able to dig out a few dusty boxes of christmas lights from the back of the store. lucas had just been about to check out when he doubled back to seven to grab a few cans of tuna for yoda and, on second thought, wasn’t he almost out of laundry detergent? soon enough, he had half a cart full of such essentials as captain crunch, craft mac n’ cheese, and a six pack. he’d just turned the corner to frozen foods when he heard it. 

“fuck.” he unceremoniously dropped a box of frozen fries into the cart and booked it over to the household wares aisle to find the source of the all-too-familiar voice. “you heard the man!” lucas used his teacher voice so that it’d carry over the shelves. he parked his cart at one end of the aisle and waved off some of the other customers like he was shooing away kids at recess. 

“here you go,” he said, plucking an eight pack of d batteries from the shelf and offering them to mike like his was any regular old shopping trip. lucas draped his arms over the handle of his  cart and nudged the cereal and frozen food to hopefully bury the twinkle lights further down in his cart. “did your boombox die?” he searched mike’s face for a beat before he abandoned the cart. he could come back for it. “did you need a ride somewhere?”

.

mike was prepared to charge one of the storegoers when lucas’ voice echoed throughout the store. his shoulders dropped a little and mike rubbed his eyes, beginning to panic that lucas might think the worst, “i’m fine, i just haven’t been sleeping, it’s fine.” he assured lucas and when it seemed safe, he actually relaxed a little. “thank you.” he kissed the package of batteries, like they were in oasis in the desert, or his son at his doorstep again. he looked at lucas seriously, “thank you.” 

he sort of stared off into space for a moment before lucas yanked him back down. mike blinked, then shook his head, “uh...no, no, it’s my flashlight. it went out when i was looking...in the woods...” he trailed off, looking out the window. it was as if it only occurred to him then that it was light out. he rubbed his eyes once more and snapped back to lucas, “it can get pretty dark in there, i want to be sure i don’t miss anything.” he answered the final question with a scowl, “do you need a ride somewhere? i have my car.”  mike weaved along with lucas until they were at the front of the store, not even noticing how lucas had abandoned his own cart. once they were outside of the store, he bounced from foot to foot, glancing at his vehicle. he really wanted to get back on the ground and look for luke, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to be alone now either, “do you want to...hit mirkwood with me? maybe?” it was the one stretch of woods mike had been hesitant about venturing into. 

mike wasn’t a perfect dad, but he was doing his best. he’d always been doing his best. god knows he couldn’t have done it without the help of...everyone. him and luke were at odds more often than not, but that didn’t even matter anymore. mike would give anything...do anything if it meant so much as a another slammed door in his face. a hug. he thought he was comfortable with his loss, that he knew how to work under pressure, but the way he paced his empty house and hawkins p.d at all hours of the day indicated he clearly didn’t. mike wasn’t sleeping, hardly eating, floating around everywhere he could in hawkins like luke might show up any second. he didn’t want statistics about missing children from hawkins p.d, he wanted his son. 

more than that, he wanted joyce around. mike figured she was probably the only person who understood what he was feeling. he wanted el around too, they hadn’t been able to find will without her. how did they stand a chance of finding luke? even will would’ve been a comfort, firsthand experience to help. but instead, their whole operation felt like it was chugging along with one wheel and tons of bent rims. mike didn’t know how many times he could scream in powell’s face to find his son, or how deep in the woods he’d have to go before turning back. nancy had given him a firm talking to about how he couldn’t find luke if he wasn’t taking care of himself, and after crying in his sister’s arms for a while, mike went home after and slept a couple of hours in luke’s bed. 

the next morning came and mike was at hawkin’s p.d first thing in the morning, then he dug around the woods a little bit when he realized his flashlight was dead. how long had it been dead? how come mike hadn’t noticed? he tore for his car, cutting off other vehicles on the road as he ran to melvald’s for some batteries. history repeated in motion, mike tore through the store, exhibiting no restraint. he shoved past other patrons screaming nonsense, “i need batteries to find my son! my son is missing! move!” he threw items off shelves, unable to find the D batteries he was looking for. maybe they were behind these items? “fuck. fuck! fuck you!” mike yelled, first to the shelves then to the patrons who had stopped to side eye him. didn’t they know? didn’t they care? “how can you all walk around like everything is fine! huh? well i hope your fucking kids go missing! i hope you never find them!” he dug into the crowd before his final shout, “help me find these fucking batteries or keep shopping!” mike pointed his finger at a woman, “and put your phone down! stop that! don’t-- don’t call anyone! i mean it!”