feel me?

What if all women were bigger and stronger than you and thought they were smarter What if women were the ones who started wars What if too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly What if the state trooper who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs What if your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis What if every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands What if women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch in a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks tucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence” What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey” What if you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job What if you couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them.

Oh shut up. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad. So you might as well smile while you’re here.

He told me he was afraid of commitment with thirteen tattoos on his body.

Stop acting so fucking wounded. The only person that can pick you up, push back your shoulders, wipe the tears, mend the broken bones and get you out of your slump is you. Now go and live, there is so much to be happy about.