Tumblr's dead, I said, "Baby that's alright with me."

secret government agent: say it me: *spits blood at agents feet* secret government agent: say the weed number

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

I have 2 “head” “cannons” …. They’re called my nostrils

coffee drinker: would u like a cup of coffee? me: no thanks,  coffee drinker: oh you don’t drink coffee? me: well, i- coffee drinker: i can’t get enough of the stuff. i am always itchin’ for me next fix. i love a nice hot cup of joe, i even drink it black as well. the stronger the coffee the more i enjoy it. i consume more cups daily of it than most people, which is how much i enjoy coffee 

Because gay people are dirty and erotic and disgusting and drawing them is sinful and shameful and naughty.

not all heros wear capes

Shut up?!?

this is a personal attack

For the love of all that is holy, unmute this

same as it ever was

jommunism