Audacter Ire

star trek would be the ideal fictional universe to get trapped in because you'd explain your situation and they'd be like yeah makes sense. no further questions. fortunately we can use the mysterious warp signature emitting from this system's icy moon to counterface with the solar radiation and slingshot you back home

Why would I want to go home?

unfortunately, several admirals will be called into rule on whether you can be permitted to stay here without screwing up the timestream, and if after their deliberations they decide to grant you political asylum then unfortunately you will die in a tragic accident in the last three minutes of the episode.

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

people get so mad when you tell them that their lowbrow entertainment they enjoy is actually lowbrow

everyone wants their self-indulgent romantasy to be considered high literature and whatever new mainstream pop boy/girl to be treated as the next beethoven and their gay fluff show on streaming apps to be revolutionary art changing the world and like, they're not. and that's okay. i'm literally watching the stupidest show right now and it's fine. it doesn't have to be more.

there's also the argument of how pop culture used to be the trickle down from high culture for the longest time but now it's an ouroboros eating itself as access and willingness to engage with high culture have been systematically destroyed and diminished through the last decades so your popcorn flick moviemaker now only gets inspiration from other popcorn flicks when their foreparents used to actually read literally and see art of all kinds and your pop musicians used to listen to all sorts of new and old music rather than just their contemporaries/competition and maybe this absence of any sort of culture outside of our easy algorithms is why everyone's so defensive of what they passively consume and so attached to it as a part of their identity but that's a discussion for another day

Friendly unfriendly reminder that "Ovulation is like an animal being in heat and makes you stupid" has been a keystone of western misogyny pretty much since Europe worked out what periods are.

You really can’t find this type of humor anywhere else