three cheers for existence

Transgress your body’s borders, shed your skin, embrace your monstrous flesh. Freed of the shackles of the vulnerable female body, I will be reborn as a woman who devours.

“The soul is silent. If it speaks at all it speaks in dreams.”

“I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me.”

“The personal, if it is deep enough, becomes universal, mythical, symbolic; I never generalize, intellectualize. I see, I hear, I feel. These are my primitive instruments of discovery.”

“You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.”

I don't know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely.

“I am fully aware and in full possession of myself. […] I have no desire to be understood, admired, pitied, or even known;”

At night, books, talk, passion.

“I must start to build again after this long period of anguish and despair. […] Keep silent—and have confidence in myself.”

“I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.”

I was not the woman who breaks into pieces under the blows of abandonment and absence, who goes mad, who dies. Only a few fragments had splintered off, for the rest I was well. I was whole, whole I would remain. To those who hurt me, I react giving back in kind. I am the queen of spades, I am the wasp that stings, I am the dark serpent. I am the invulnerable animal who passes through fire and is not burned.

If I lived by the sea I would never be really sad. I get an immense sense of eternity and peace from the ocean. I can lose myself in staring at it hour after hour.