I reject your canon and substitute my own

So I’m at my doctor’s office n my doctor is asking about estrogen effects. I tell her about my chest growth and she asks to check. I pull up my shirt and she goes “woah, nice” HELLO? EXCUSE ME?

Hell yeah sis

Jokes aside, I am feeling rather anxious that there are so many CEOs still at large.

I just think it's frightening that dangerous people like that are allowed to roam freely where at any time, they might walk into a boardroom and kill thousands of people with a stroke of their pen.

Walking around my neighborhood wearing my sick as fuck custom T-shirt that says "I STEAL EVERY FRIENDLY CAT I MEET WITH NO REMORSE I DO IT ALL THE TIME DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK I BEEN HERE FOR YEARS KEEP THAT BEAST ENCLOSED LEST YE FACE MY LIGHTNING CAT GRASP" and smiling politely while my neighbors' indoor-outdoor cats gently trot down the sidewalk towards me as the neighbors themselves read my shirt with a growing sense of panic.

Unfollow me for cat theft all you want. You'll never catch me and you'll never stop me. Those things are this season's must-have lipgloss in an understaffed Sephora, and baby? I'm a middle-class teenage girl who's not getting enough attention at home...

People in the notes keep saying, "This is just another reason you should keep your cats inside," and I know they just mean the fact that someone in general could steal them, but I like to think they all mean that you gotta watch out for me specifically. Because you do. I'm everywhere. And I'm fast.

It's bonkers how uncool all of you sound being like, "Go ahead and try it, dweeb!! My outdoor cat loves me and he would claw his way home to me!!" That's awesome, man. He's not gonna claw his way out of the grill of a freshly christened combination student texter/student driver's 2005 Dodge Neon, though. Keep your fucking animals inside. You look uneducated, you look weird, you look like you can't cum unless you violate the Migratory Bird Act but the game warden said this is your final warning and so letting Mittens unleash his detached bloodlust is the next best thing.

the end notes of I Love Amy where the author draw’s hypothetical himejoshi discussing yuri over tea… think abt it all the time like Thats Meeeee

I like the idea that the bf is on the left and the gf on the right

Definitely bf is on the left

black spotted tabby

fucking dumbasses bringing trail mix to the hike when we’re surrounded by the heartiest dirt this side of tennessee, just waiting to be munched on

RESTORING LOST MEDIA