let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@ex-radqueer
using tumblrs blocking tags feature is only useful if you're lucky enough to catch the thousands of tags radqueers use for some reason...
any combination you could think of with "radq", "rq" "🍓🌈 / 🌈🍓" and then also adding a "pro" or "please interact" or other word assortments...
i have around 24 combinations blocked and i still get unlucky to see posts every once in a while... just something i noticed. it makes it hard to block that community out for my own well-being.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Part of recovery is making a step backwards sometimes, and it's hard to learn that that's okay.
Getting out of a mindset or a set of opinions is hard and won't change overnight. It will take time to heal.
My system leaving the radqueer community happened two years ago and we still experienced a major step back a few days ago.
What's important is that we make steps forward again and that we learn from what happened.
Respectful Interaction Userboxes
There are a lot of userboxes that tell radqueers not to interact. And those are very useful. But what if you're okay with radqueers interacting, as long as they do so respectfully?
Here's my solution! I've made a bunch of userboxes conveying that sentiment.
These were inspired by a radqueer's userbox.
Anti/Recovering Radqueer - Version 1
Anti/Recovering Radqueer - Version 2
Anti/Ex/Survivor/Recovering Radqueer - Version 3
Anti Radqueer - Version 4
Anti Radqueer - Version 5
Recovering/Ex Radqueer - Version 6
Free to use! Reblog or link this post to credit.
every time i see a radqueer post literal porn in purely non-nsfw radqueer tags as if I've never seen a literal 11 year old in the rqc
There is two things I noticed in regards to this.
1) Not only are the nsft posts publicly avaible in the main radqueer tags, but there is also rarely ever a content warning or similar to it. Many of these posts go beyond "vanilla" nsft, and instead turn very graphic. Usually you're not aware of what the post is saying until you already read materials you absolutely should not have read.
2) The concept of "adult only spaces" in the radqueer community has been discussed within the community itself, but it barely ever works. Some don't accept their bodys age as, well, their bodys age.
This goes into the concept of "You can't tell me to not join those spaces just because my body is not an adult", because in their mind their mental age matters only / more.
Another issue with this concept is that, being a minor (physically or mentally) does not stop most of the community from interacting with nsft content. Some specifically claim to be minors bodily and mentally, and reach out in hopes of getting nsft interactions and such.
A concerning amount of the community does not see the barrier between "body and feelings in regards to age" as well as the entire concept of "internet safety" especially for minors.
The idea of an "radqueer adult only space" won't work, because the community itself has, from what I experienced, blurred the lines between adults and minors and what they can do.
your blog is very cute i like it
thank you!
jumps up and down can we follow eachother
yea, i followed you with my main
every time i see a radqueer post literal porn in purely non-nsfw radqueer tags as if I've never seen a literal 11 year old in the rqc
There is two things I noticed in regards to this.
1) Not only are the nsft posts publicly avaible in the main radqueer tags, but there is also rarely ever a content warning or similar to it. Many of these posts go beyond "vanilla" nsft, and instead turn very graphic. Usually you're not aware of what the post is saying until you already read materials you absolutely should not have read.
2) The concept of "adult only spaces" in the radqueer community has been discussed within the community itself, but it barely ever works. Some don't accept their bodys age as, well, their bodys age.
This goes into the concept of "You can't tell me to not join those spaces just because my body is not an adult", because in their mind their mental age matters only / more.
Another issue with this concept is that, being a minor (physically or mentally) does not stop most of the community from interacting with nsft content. Some specifically claim to be minors bodily and mentally, and reach out in hopes of getting nsft interactions and such.
A concerning amount of the community does not see the barrier between "body and feelings in regards to age" as well as the entire concept of "internet safety" especially for minors.
The idea of an "radqueer adult only space" won't work, because the community itself has, from what I experienced, blurred the lines between adults and minors and what they can do.
your blog is very cute i like it
thank you!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
every time i see a radqueer post literal porn in purely non-nsfw radqueer tags as if I've never seen a literal 11 year old in the rqc
There is two things I noticed in regards to this.
1) Not only are the nsft posts publicly avaible in the main radqueer tags, but there is also rarely ever a content warning or similar to it. Many of these posts go beyond "vanilla" nsft, and instead turn very graphic. Usually you're not aware of what the post is saying until you already read materials you absolutely should not have read.
2) The concept of "adult only spaces" in the radqueer community has been discussed within the community itself, but it barely ever works. Some don't accept their bodys age as, well, their bodys age.
This goes into the concept of "You can't tell me to not join those spaces just because my body is not an adult", because in their mind their mental age matters only / more.
Another issue with this concept is that, being a minor (physically or mentally) does not stop most of the community from interacting with nsft content. Some specifically claim to be minors bodily and mentally, and reach out in hopes of getting nsft interactions and such.
A concerning amount of the community does not see the barrier between "body and feelings in regards to age" as well as the entire concept of "internet safety" especially for minors.
The idea of an "radqueer adult only space" won't work, because the community itself has, from what I experienced, blurred the lines between adults and minors and what they can do.
I do not know who needs to hear this, whether it be tonight, next week, in a few months or whenever.
It is okay to fall back into bad habits.
Recovery is not a "straight line". It will take time. You will likely take two steps forward and one step back.
You might catch yourself having thoughts you don't agree with anymore. You might feel an urge to go back because you accidentally saw something that triggered you. That is okay.
Please remember to reach out to trusted individuals. Make a post about your thoughts, tag it so it reaches those who need it. Voice your concerns and worries.
Recovery is hard, but it gets easier if you're in a space with people who experience or experienced the same feelings.
It is okay to think about going back, or feel uncertain and nervous. You're not alone with this.
Created systems are not transids, and shoutout to ex-radqueer created systems who got themselves out of that community.
As an ex-radqueer, I think the anti-radqueer community should focus on changing others minds with kindness and letting them know that they're welcome to use less harmful labels; that they will still find support outside of that community.
Telling TransID folks to harm themselves, or worse, will not make them want to leave the community. Telling them horrible things while crosstagging your post will only make them feel unsafe, and as though people outside of the community would never understand their experience.
Coming from personal experience, having a kind, helping hand to get out of the community is worth so much more than being harassed and talked to violently.
Another ex-radqueer here; I also want to add that one of the ways cults or cult-like groups (ie radqueer community) keep people sucked in is through a strong "us vs. them" mentality. If you as an anti-rq go around harassing and belittling radqueer people, you are actually proving to these individuals that people outside the radqueer community are unsafe people to be around. Violent behavior towards radqueer folks will only strengthen their resolve to stay in the community. If our goal is to help people leave the radqueer community, we need to use kindness, compassion, and understanding.
As an ex-radqueer, I think the anti-radqueer community should focus on changing others minds with kindness and letting them know that they're welcome to use less harmful labels; that they will still find support outside of that community.
Telling TransID folks to harm themselves, or worse, will not make them want to leave the community. Telling them horrible things while crosstagging your post will only make them feel unsafe, and as though people outside of the community would never understand their experience.
Coming from personal experience, having a kind, helping hand to get out of the community is worth so much more than being harassed and talked to violently.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I think a part on how I should start opening up about my radqueer past is by explaining who "I" was and what "I" did in the community.
I (specifically the headmates that I fusioned out of) had multiple accounts within the community:
@ berrybugzzz was an account created specifically for the (then) host called bugz, who was curious about the radqueer community and to learn about them as we only really had interacted with anti radqueers and wanted to see how many of the claims regarding the community were true or false. - There weren't many posts on this account (mainly questions and polls to get an understanding); I still feel like it is important to mention though since it was the main blog.
@ gutzbugzzz was an account for gutz, an alter of ours, specifically for flag coining (namely: transID flags). They also owned @ gutzprivatebugzzz but didn't use that account unless for reposting. I will include a list of all the terms gutz posted according to my knowledge below the cut; but I'd like to again apologize and repeat that we no longer support these terms.
@ radqueeruserboxezzz was, as the name suggests, a userbox account created by an alter that no longer goes by the name on the account and asks not to be mentioned by their new name on here. They made userboxes for many different things, specifically for paras and some terms we did (at the time) not understand the full meaning of. Here too, I want to apologize and want to repeat that we no longer support these things.
@ juniperbugzzz was an account by juniper, which mainly featured our "stances" and such. I have no screenshots of the posts that have been made on that account, so I'm unsure what they're about anymore.
@ spawnbugzzz was an account for spawn, the co-host of sorts. The account was very inaccessible, always written in rainbow font. Aside from that I don't think anything major was posted on this account, and it was quickly abandoned, just like @ andrewbugzzz and @ leyleybugzzz (who are not even listed since the two felt uncomfortable very early on within the community).
@ cr1ngesys was an account for 5 of our alters, who were requested on one of those "build a headmate" blogs. They posted some stuff regarding MUDs (Made Up Disorders / Medically Unrecognized Disorders) and wanting to fake being a System, despite being a System. All 5 of them have since changed and no longer agree with the things said and done.
There were also a few other accounts, one I remember being a BAH (build a headmate) account that lasted for 2 posts or such, but I do not have the names anywhere saved so I'm not sure about them.
I just wanted to share what "I" did, as I feel that as part of the Side-System, I want to open up about the mistakes we have made. Both I, as the now host, and the host of our main System want to deeply apologize for what we have done. I'm ashamed by it, and while I know that many do not care, I want to become a better person and hope that by finally making this public, I'll be able to heal from the emotional distress the community has caused us.
hello, my name is rue and i'm a 20 year old ex-radqueer. I've been in the community only for a couple months during a difficult time and have coined and created things in the community that I did not entirely understand (due to a language barrier) and / or am no longer proud of today.
I created this blog in order to engage with anti-radqueers and ex-radqueers. I would like to be able to talk about my experiences, namely on how I know that the community was harmful to me, but how a part of me still wants to go back.
Stances in case they matter:
- anti-radqueer
- pro TransID (anti-transitioning for harmful ones; apart from that I am now aware that they can still help others feel more comfortable.)
- neutral on Ship discourse (I am too uneducated and believe it is none of my buisness as long as it stays fictional.)
- pro endogenic
- anti-contact (for the big three paraphilias; for the rest it's a case by case depending on the paraphilia and the user)
credits
