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@evilforestcult
welcome, loves
hello there! so you’ve stumbled onto our blog *hands you a cup of tea.* why don’t you stay for a while?Â
we’re the not-so-evil ✨forest cult✨: essentially, a group blog run by a trio of dumbasess with god complexes, severe brainrot and so many better things to do.Â
✧˚ · . ˚ · .✧˚ · . ˚ · .✧˚ · . ˚ · .✧˚ · . ˚ · . · .✧˚ · . ˚ · .✧˚ · . ˚ · .✧
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i think everyone should drop out of school and follow an unclear path
the path to my forest
hypothetically
if i found a mysterious library
in the middle of the woods
in a quaint lil cabin
should i go in?
and hypothetically
if i did go in
and read until late at night
and fell asleep on the comfy chair
but woke up to ethereal singing
coming from outside
should i leave?
or stay?
go in. stay for a while. and when the voices penetrate the walls of your mind, sit still, of course, you never know what the spirits will bring to the table.
Well, I don't think you have a choice anymore! Cuz if you hypothetically hear ethereal singing, then you hypothetically may have lost your free will to the spirits who have made the aged pages their home. Your fate may hypothetically be intertwined with the soul of the library and you hypothetically may be destined to remain there until the end of time, serving as its protector. as its master. as its slave.
hypothetically…. If I see a random cave in the woods that I swore wasn’t there before, should I go in?
most definitely! you never know what treasures you'll find until you try to venture yourself! and caves are filled with secrets to those who know how to listen :)) just make sure to take a sacrifice along with you, caves tend to house the restless spirits who lost in the winding passages, people from ages ago who spent too much time hidden away from society in the safety of the cave to find their way back to the light i find doritos work as a pretty good sacrifice!
thanks! can I bring my brother as a sacrifice?
Sure! Just so long as he’s not too skinny :)
hypothetically…. If I see a random cave in the woods that I swore wasn’t there before, should I go in?
most definitely! you never know what treasures you'll find until you try to venture yourself! and caves are filled with secrets to those who know how to listen :)) just make sure to take a sacrifice along with you, caves tend to house the restless spirits who lost in the winding passages, people from ages ago who spent too much time hidden away from society in the safety of the cave to find their way back to the light i find doritos work as a pretty good sacrifice!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
boo!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
hi! welcome to the forest! would you like a random mushroom i found?
how many isopods have y'all encountered?
too many to count
You mortals and your clumsy names for things. Why must you be so set in organization and sorting things into neat little boxes? Perhaps I’ve met an isopod, perhaps not. One can never be sure
a ton! they tell good stories but they fret over things that really don’t matter. I can never have a proper conversation with one before they instill a persisting fear of the unknown into me :((
oh so YOU’RE the thing in the forest beckoning me to travel as far into the woods as I can in the middle of the night
i am indeed. i am the wind, howling as you beg for sleep. i am the trees that shroud you in midnight and guide your forward, forward, forward, until you’re certain that you’re lost. but then warmth will fill your bones and you will know that the forest shall never leave you alone. the sun is shining. you are found.
Come closer and find out :)
yup! could yah also please stop ignoring us tho :(( i just wanna show you how creepy-cool the forest looks at night when all the shadows come just a bit too close. Oh, and how the dark roots of the trees reach for you, desperate to collect another young soul, and try their very hardest to trip you! It's very fun! Though it would be more fun with a friend to come along...
*climbs to perch on the Sacred Tree of Good and Evil* *politely clears throat* good morning, my pretties! i hope your slumber was deep and your heart still, for i am about to change both of those facts. today, we are facing a threat unlike any other we’ve seen before. the Forest is in grave peril! What happened?? (also, please dont fall)
What is this threat you speak of? I have sensed naught but serenity on the wind for centuries
this is true. the Forest spirits have been kind and merciful, for eons, but there is a traitor among us, one of our own. we cannot trust one another. we must be cautious and silent as the quivering leaves that flutter upon our bare feet. One of us? A traitor? I can't believe it. I refuse to believe it! You both are my own blood, my siblings. You are my family, just extensions of my soul. I trust you more than I trust the corner of my own mind. And even if it be my downfall, I shall trust you with my last breath.
Are you saying we are to betray one another? What a preposterous idea! The Forest would never act against its own kin!
one of us is lying. one of us is always lying.
Then we must find the liar! But how?
the answers you seek lie deeper within the Wood. take heed, my Children! A series of trials probably awaits us. Treacherous trials. We must prepare thoroughly. Shall we meet again at dawn? Once the spirits of the night shy away from the protection of the sun?
Yes, that sounds like it should do nicely. But how can we prepare the trials if one of us might try to sabotage them? Don't fret! The soul of the forest will prepare it for us! Only the ones with the purest souls may pass! But in order to, these trials will expose all our secrets and nothing will remain hidden. Are you willing to take that risk for the good of our home?
I can’t claim to enjoy the thought of all my secrets being laid bare, but I would do anything for the forest. Will the forest god be joining us in our trials? I can't communicate with such powerful spirits yet. Yoshi?
Where is she? Has she been taken from us by the liar?
oh dear, kindly excuse my absence; i was attending to some unfinished business. i am so proud of you both, for you didn't even need my assistance in uncovering some of the Forest's best-kept secrets. the trials are as following:
the salty tear of a wanderer led astray
a thorn plucked from the Rose of Betrayal
the innocence you lost as a child
the ashen hair of a Forest nymph
a mirror; beware of the monsters that lurk within you
i shall indeed be facing these trials with you; i would be failing in my duties if i were to choose not to.
I have acquired the first! From a lonely man who lost all who he loved and ventured into the forest in order to keep from losing any more. I lured him from the path with lantern eyes and chased him in circles for seven days and seven nights, until he fell to his knees, weeping. I stole a silver drop from his cheek with fingers sly as the night and left him for the Forest to do as it willed.
congratulations, my child. you will pleased to hear that the Forest has blessed me with his remains, bones so fragile i am afraid to touch them. but the Earth is hungry, screaming for relief. screaming to consume him. i do what i must.
An appropriate fate for such a creature, though I’m unconvinced he is worthy to feed the Forest. Nonetheless, what’s done is done. Gerbil, have you made any progress on the trials?
I have tried fair goddess, but I can not. I've attempted to find my childhood innocence, but I realized I never lost it. It was never destroyed, only transformed. It's in the awe you experience when you discover the world. When you find a cool bug. Watching the first bloom of the spring. Seeing the stars on the first clear night of the month. Every day I learn new things and see new wonders. Everyday, I use my childhood innocence to enjoy it and treasure it. That is why I have been gone for weeks! Struggling to search for something I always had! and also cuz i had so much math, im so sorry, BUT IM BACK NOW
…are you saying you failed the tasks?
.... shut upp >:(( /j
Even if we’re not apart of the cult are we still allowed to worship the forest god?
of course, darling. we'd prefer it.
You would be foolish if you didn’t of course! they love everyone, and they'll always be here to protect you! (even when you dont know it) you know that time you pressed the button to cross the road and it turned on immediately? that was them. you know the day you forgot your jacket but it was warm? that was them. you know the day you came home tired and cranky only to find leftover you'd forgotten about? that was them. they care about you, even if you dont join the cult <33
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
should we delete all the other posts now?
Sure yeah I think we can :)
Also wtf about pineapples??!!!
Also also ofc we have poisonous berries. It would be more difficult to find the berries that aren’t poisonous in this forest
Oh shoot I just realized you said venomous not poisonous I’m an idiot— but yes we have those too if you know where to look
yeahh, its why i hate em (not talking to you spongebob, you're an angel) ooooo yayayayay i love berries :DD fun fact, i eat every berry i see irl it started off for fun at first but now it raises my tolerance to poison! i also drink glowstick juice a ton... its rlly bitter.... I HAVENT FALLEN SICK ONCE IN 5 YEARS THO! EVEN WHEN EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE CAUGHT COVID! I NEVER GOT IT! (this was without the vaccine too)
…are you actually serious or being sarcastic? Bc if you’re serious then I’m terrified
(Also thank god finally someone with the sense to hate pineapple)
im completely serious :DD (and yes ofc, its disgusting)
my sweet gerbil, you are absolutely horrifying.
what is your favorite berry?
OOOO THERES THIS RED ONE AND ITS SUPER SOUR AND BITTER LIKE WORSE THAN A LEMON ITS SO FUN TO EAT CUZ IT LEAVES A TINGLY FEELING ON YOUR TOUNGE
I, personally, am fond of the ebony berries that grow in the far northeastern groves by the hives of nymphs
i think i know what you're referring to. is it, by chance, ribes rubrum, the species otherwise known as currant berries? or mayhaps the chokeberry?
i quite like cloudberries :)
Yes, ries rebrum does sound familiar, although I can never seem to get straight all the clumsy mortal names for things so do not hold me to that.
And I must agree— cloudberries are divine
as an immortal being who spent a torturous decade in the human world, i was forced to learn their ways. the guttural language of the forest was stripped from my tongue (though, upon my return, i regained it) and i used their foolish words for the berries i created.
What treachery could you have possibly committed to warrant such punishment as exile from the Forest?! I admire your strength— I myself would have faded to nothing under such a harsh torture
you see, i fell in love. this seductress called to me from the outskirts of the Forest and i blindly followed — i was foolish and young and she was beautiful.
That sounds unwise. Was she another god such as yourself? I confess I’ve never encountered such a thing.
she was not a god. her beauty was haunting, her eyes like moss and her voice was the air within my infinite lungs.
A nymph, then? Or a river siren? But then why were you stuck in the mortal realms? Did the Forest disapprove of your union?
she hails from the Forest opposite ours: a place crawling with horrors you cannot even begin to comprehend. they called her lorien and she was crafted from the finest strands of sunlight and the incarnadine blood of a goat. she was cultivated in the Forest's womb, her milky hands reaching up, up, up until they met soil and the warmth of a summer afternoon. lorien writhed beneath the Earth, clawing at the surface that awaited her arrival until her fingers bled. there's a legend, in the Other Forest, that the blood of a true child of the Wood, when fused with sacred Earth, creates a species both vicious and powerful. some call it the chimera. but lorien was different: she could take the form of any creature. i couldn't have escaped her, i'm afraid. she sang my name in a voice so pure, so full of gold and haunting joy, i followed. i had to.
She sounds divine in beauty as, I’m sure, in disposition and wit. But what happened to her? Why are you not together still?
on the ninth year in the mortal realm, she was driven to madness by the Other Forest and took a knife to my back. i was forced to kill her.
heyy guys... i have some nicknames for you guys that needs reviewing and approval from the council- Piper: mars (piper -> pipes -> Mario -> mars) Flyyn: egg (flynn -> flynn rider -> eugene -> eug-> egg)
On the one hand I’m flattered that you came up with nicknames for us but on the other why does Piper get to be mars and I’m egg
egg, respectfully, you are an egg; a charming, dastardly egg, but an egg nonetheless.
and mars is acceptable, i love space names!!
ALSO
honey: gerbil (honey - hone - hone in - small - rodent - gerbil)
Hmmmm now I feel like I have to make up nicknames for you guys…
ohhhh thats where it comes frommm i just thought i had mousy vibes- also i didnt realize it was space name- here egg, we can change her name to yoshi! cuz its supposed to be mario-theme! and then you two match :DD AND YES EGG, DO IT
Oh yes I think she’s definitely a yoshi!
As for your name… I might just jump on the gerbil train as well. Idk it suits you for some reason (even tho you’re not mousy in the slightest)
THANK YOU my irl best friend (duck) said when she first met me, she though i looked like a mouse. then ALL my friends agreed saying i look like a cute little mouse. then my irl bff told me i look like a rat and she'd do experiments on me-
i love em all
Omggggg I’d love to do some experiments on you
Come into this box I have candy!
oooo OKAY :DD
*waddles into box*
yoshi, egg and gerbil — i’m kind of obsessed with that.
describe your style! or your ideal stylee
greetings, fair anon. as children of the forest, we do not have a particular style. we are one with the wood. we adapt to the trees, our metamorphosis is inevitable and dangerous. We wear the mud of the clay by the lake, we wear the strands of sunshine woven in our hair, we wear the stray leaves that have taken shelter on our sleeves. We wear our scratches and scars, proud, like badges of honor. We wear the splashed of the creeks water and adorn ourselves with the most precious trinkets ( a cool rock that pipes gifted us :pp ). I wear my childhood innocence, and the sense of wonder that seems to fade outside our enchanted forest. ... Also skirts! (as long as they're above knee level or else theyre annoying) - while this may be true for honey, i love long, flowing skirts. they make me feel like the fairy i am. oooo, that sounds pretty but how you no trip? (to be fair, i do fall 17 times a day)
We wear the skins of the beasts that sing to us, the leather and fur hides draped around our too-sharp shoulders and feathers woven into our hair. We wear dresses of braided tree bark and reach for the blossoming sun, our many outstretched arms laced with life-hued leaves. When we run it is alongside the wild boar and the rabbits and the hawk, and when we sing we do so to the beat of the flowing streams and the breaths of the changing seasons.
Also all the skirts!!!!! :DD
