run your welder not your mouth

i think its just winter but i really would quite like to disappear

nothing scares me like the thought of settling for a hetero relationship (t4t included but its like 1% less bad)

i cant wait to move out and ghost the fuckkk out of my family for a solid few months or maybe a year

my parents always tell me i need to "fix [my] relationship with [my] sister" and the relationship is that she avoids eye contact with me as much as possible and will always take an opportunity to say something nasty to me. she is very much the kind of sheep person who is deep-down terrified of any part of her being slightly different, my existance can only be that and she hates me for it

i have many thoughts about how the internet "artist" tends towards drawing women like caricatures of caricatures, the desirable features being exaggerated more and more heavily and the undesirable features being minimized or erased, to the point where what is left is kind of just an abstract concept of what the "artist" believes to be an ideal woman. it can only be due to how their posts are received of course, imagery of women with what their audience considers as undesirable features will not earn them their followers and patreon dollars. its just very disturbing, because MOST artists are doing this and pushing it to a point where the marketable features of the woman are exaggerated to a point where they're not really representational of anyone. none of these are original ideas ofc, sometimes i just see some digital illustration of what is clearly intended (and is, to most people) some unearthly (i.e unrealistic) beautiful woman and it feels like im looking at an abstract artwork, because of how far removed any of it is from reality. its the representation to iconongraphy thing. you're no longer drawing a girl with big tits, you're conveying the concept of a diminutive woman with some large protrusions on her chest. its like its trying to distill and concentrate the (nonexistant but still widely agreed upon) concepts of what make a woman attractive. there's no substance left to it, just the part that tickles people's brains the right way. i dont particularly think any of this is a serious problem but its just kind of disturbing how thats a huge portion of "art" that is created for and posted on the internet. its just a natural progression of the same beauty standards etc etc and all the racism and misogyny and transphobia that that entails