Ever

This cast really is a blessing, both the in game cast of the play and the cast of the show. Like, the players really are so talented and you can really tell how much theatre and art means to them all but LIAM!!!! And HAL!!! If Liam has said it, he doesn't need to, because my god Hal really is a love letter to art and what is art if not a love letter to life itself?

The cast being afraid is so fucking real, and I'm glad the dice decided not to give Hal too big a roll on convincing them to be brave because I think with all the themes and allegory that I "can't prove" exist in the show, I think it's that much more powerful that they're still scared. Everyone involved is terrified. But just like the theme of the play, it just takes enough of them to be brave to show the Rungjani they can be free, and that's enough to change the entire fucking world.

More seriously, I think there's a lot of interesting contrast and parallels between Hal and Azune's relationship and Thaisha and Occtis's. Like, I think there's a lot of parental instincts coming out in both of them because they both are in these situations where the "adults" have been around to kinda pick up the slack of the emotional burden of the things these "kids" have done and are doing for Thjazi, and really beautiful and loving and familial relationships have come out of it, and I love that, but I also think it's gonna be interesting to see more of stuff like the difference that Thaisha always having been involved in the dangerous stuff makes in their dynamics and the way both exemplify hugely why found family really can never replace the family that raised you.

Because like as much as they rely on each other's protection, Thaisha being in the thick of it really doesn't leave room for Thaisha to be the person Occtis goes to because Thjazi wanted Occtis to have *family* and a life *away* from war in the way it seems like Thjazi hoped Hal would be for Azune, and not that *she* should have to be or that *anyone* was asked to be that for Occtis, but all this talk about him being her family now because Primus sucks makes me think about how that doesn't ever get to have that same sheltering or even escapist connotation that Hal's relationship with Azune has and that makes me sad because like... Occtis is fully grown and will not grow older and he never got to have a *home* like the Lloy home with a family that welcomed and sheltered him in his youth and he likely never will. Even being so much younger than Azune and even with Azune being about 17 when the Rebellion ended, and "reborn into the family" or not, no matter how many "new moms and dads" he jokes about collecting, he'll never get that with *anyone*. That fucking sucks.

And all of this makes me think of how even with the protectiveness and Thjazi's request of Hal, Azune still really couldn't comprehend the idea that Hal's care for him *is* familial. Like when he broke down back in seekers arc and said those things about how Hal did "more" than what family does for each other and so Thjazi must've done something to make it *worthwhile*. And like, Azune watched his parents starve themselves to death for him, it's not like he's been given this impression that family doesn't sacrifice *greatly* for each other, like Occtis might've been, but it's really just the fact that Hal's sharing *his children's food* with Azune. The thing that Azune's parents *gave their lives* to provide him and his sister. Even with the protectiveness and sheltering and escapism of their dynamic, will Azune ever consider that familial or is he categorizing that as part of the role he's playing for Thjazi? In the back of Azune's mind, is it always gonna be part of Thjazi's scheme to station Azune in the city and so there had to be something that made being involved worth it to Hal? Is Hal caring for him always going to feel like a lie Azune is still telling and a command he's still following on Thjazi's behalf? And if Azune can get past any of that, would he want to be part of Thjazi's *family* family or would that possibly feel like a betrayal of his parents' sacrifice especially so soon after seeing his sister again? Is his relationship with Hal ever going to be Azune the Person's or always Azune the Thing's?