evening

Going to an empty school gym basketball court with C to “read” but before I know it we’re sitting so close and then his clothes are coming off. He’s naked lying on me but I’m too nervous about who might see us I can’t get into the moment. I swear I saw someone peek in. He’s dressed again and soon after our friends come into the room. We go back to reviewing the book. There’s desire between us that can never be.

by Andrea Gibson

All of my pain is a spider  I’ve learned not to crush  with the heel of my shoe  but to guide with a page  of my journal  into an empty glass.  I ask questions about  its life, its purpose  as I walk careful  out to the garden and rest  it down on the earth.  My pain—how happy 

Going up and down stairs in a multistory building seeing peeps I know and some I don’t. Every floor has a different feel. I’m stepping over things on the floor on one. People are sitting near open balcony windows on another. Watching something on the stairs with Lou and Lexi.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation

Ziplining around the library over displays and bookshelves. Things are getting a little knocked over but I’m not really worried about it.

We’re trying to work with some birds, but I encourage 2 red-and-black birds that are in my bag to fly away.

1 male and 1 female black swallowtail butterfly in the enclosure ready for release. Was she damaged in captivity?

B and I are having moments together. We yearn to be close. We’re outside in the snow. We were talking about everyone trying to run to see who’s the fastest. When the lights go out, I see an elaborate and magical constellation in the sky. It looks like an early cave painting of a human but it’s made of stars. It glows brightly and stars are twinkling around it seems like they’re swirling about the constellation. Everyone is gazing at it in awe. A is acting resentful and jealous. There’s no way to make him feel better. I’m glad when he’s gone.

Now the trees are green and it’s summery. Somehow we get a closer view, peeking through some trees. It’s an illuminated statue covered in red and white lights. Some are twinkling. B stands right behind me and lays his hands on my arms. When I lean a little into him he’s solid behind me. I feel the full shape of his torso along my backside. I wish I could be there forever.

Climbing around some mountain, exploring ancient trails, found a real cool cave carved into the side of the mountain. It goes in deep

Going up in an elevator. Someone’s riding up with me on the outside. She looks like she knows what she’s doing and having fun. Maybe it’s lower gravity because I can kind of jump out and over the elevator, land on a table with my chair and sit above someone who doesn’t seem surprised.

Office building. Exploring empty offices but there’s still some that are occupied. I go in frequently for some appointment and if you know you know.