pulled apart at the seams

Anthony.

The feeling of her hand on the side of his face caused Anthony to be snapped out of his thoughts, as he turned towards her and locked their eyes together. His breath hitched in the back of his throat as he listened to what she said. He knew, of course, that she knew the drugs where in his pockets. There was no hiding it, but he just wished she hadn’t found them at all. He didn’t want anyone, not even Evelyn, to find out that he had ended up just as bad as the first time they arrived. Once he left, he started all his old habits: heroine, weed, alcohol and even the harm he brought on himself. It all came back, and might even be worse than the first time. He couldn’t let her know, though, that he’d been worse so he just gave her a slight smile. A smile that showed sadness, but it was a smile nevertheless. Reaching up, he placed his free hand on top of hers without a word. A few seconds of silence passed before he found the courage to answer her at all, “I’m okay..” It had been a lie, but at least it was a lie that wouldn’t make her worry, or so he hoped.

Nodding slowly at his response, she took a moment to really look at him for the first time in six months. Her eyes trailed over his forehead, to the normal softness of his blue gaze, and down along the bridge of his nose to his still slightly upturned lips. Evelyn’s eyes lingered on his lips for a few moments longer than she meant to, leaving her cheeks burning when she turned her attention to his jawline. All breath seemed to leave her body as the girl’s hand slipped lower from his cheek to his jawline and swept slowly across his skin. Her fingers ran along a vein in his neck and curled gently around the back of his neck. She seemed to finally remember how to breath, then, as her eyes flashed to his. Evelyn stayed silent for a few more moments before whispering, “Bullshit.” Pausing a second, she couldn’t help the soft, dry chuckle that left her mouth. “I know you’re lying and not doing okay, but it’s alright.” Her head tilted to the side slightly, her eyes still secured on his. “I love you, Tony; I love you, and I’ll do my best to make you happy so that maybe one day, you really will be okay.”

He wasn’t sure if yelling at her was the best way to go about this, but he couldn’t stop himself. Everything came rushing out before he could begin to stop it. “Do you realize what could have fucking happened to you? Screw the goddamn money, Evelyn. If that’s what you needed you should’ve just asked for some fucking help, not sell yourself on a damn street corner..” Taking a breath, Anthony got himself to calm down before he continued. Switching to the same side of the booth as Evelyn, Anthony wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Ev, this isn’t the right way to go about this. If I hadn’t been there, god only knows what the fuck would’ve happened. Yeah, he said it’s just sex and then he’ll pay you, but sometimes people bluff. He could’ve fucking killed you after he got what he wanted, do you not realize that? What if you changed your mind before you started? Do you think that would’ve stopped him? Because it wouldn’t, he would’ve taken advantage of you. Seeing..Seeing you that way, scared the fucking shit out of me. I thought about all the shit that he would’ve done to you, and..And I can’t handle it. You were out there trying to support your family, but you had a better chance of never coming home..” Grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly, Anthony finally met her gaze for the first time that night. “I can’t lose you, Ev. If you need money, I can help. I’ll help, but please..Please, never do this again.”

Evelyn listened to his speech, digging her nails into her palm as she fought back a few tears that threatened to fall. The reason why she hadn’t gone to anyone about her money problem was not only the fear of getting her children taken away because she could barely afford them, but if there was one thing she hated, it was being handed something without working at it first. Evelyn knew she wouldn’t take any money he’d give her without doing something for him in return. Instead of bringing it up, she kept the thought to herself, deciding it wasn’t the time. She hadn’t really considered all of the negative things that could go wrong if she’d gotten into the man’s car; she was just worried about providing for the twins. Being told about all the consequences she’d failed to recognize really made her think about what almost happened. When he stared into her eyes and took one of her hands in his, Evelyn froze for a few seconds before nodding her head slowly. “I-I didn’t mean to scare you.. I promise I won’t try it again. This is the last time it’ll happen. And.. Thank you for always watching out for me.” For the first time that night, she was glad Anthony was there to stop her from doing wrong. The only opposing thought nagging in the back of her mind was why he was walking through a troubled neighborhood this time at night. Evelyn had suspected he’d gotten back to his old, dangerous habits after leaving the mansion, and the bag of white powder in his denim jacket just confirmed it. Raising her free hand, she cupped his face and trailed her thumb against his cheek while her other stayed securely wrapped in his. Her eyes darted quickly to the people around them, and seeing that the stares had died down, she turned her attention back to him and lowered her voice before speaking. “Please be careful with the drugs, Tony. Don’t dig yourself too big of a hole you can’t get out of. I love you, and I want you to be okay and happy..”

Anthony kept walking at a fast pace, until they were around the corner. Stopping suddenly, he turned to face her to yell to cry to do anything, but every time he tried to make words come out of his mouth; nothing would. Pursing his lips together in frustrating, Anthony turned back around and kept walking. He didn’t hold her hand, he didn’t look back at her - he just kept walking. So many thoughts were rushing through his head, and yeah he was angry, but the one thing that upsets him more than anything was the fact she could’ve gotten hurt. Stopping after taking the few steps away from her, Anthony didn’t turn around he stayed with his back to her and mumbled, “Come on.” He wasn’t ready to go home, but he wasn’t going to leave her out her by herself- not dressed like that, anyway. Where he wanted to go was only minutes away and Anthony knew they both loved it there, and it was also dimly lit; something Anthony appreciated right now. After the silent walk, Anthony looked behind him thankful to see she had followed and then continued to open the door and motioned for her to walk inside. When walked inside it was like all memories slapped him in his face, this is where they would come when they just wanted to get away. Just the two of them. Anthony grabbed Evelyn’s hand once more when he noticed how many people were actually in there. Walking to an empty booth in the back, Anthony waited for Evelyn to sit before he had done so. A few moments of dead silence and still no one had said a word, and quite frankly, Anthony didn’t have a problem with it; even though he had been frantically wondering just what the fuck she had been thinking.

It didn’t take long for the girl to figure out where they were going; they’d passed this area plenty of times in the early hours of the morning, except instead of feeling dreadful, they’d be laughing and joking and skipping like children down the concrete paths with their fingers intertwined and worries thrown to the wind. The wave of nostalgia hit her so hard, she almost turned around, kicked her heels off, and ran. If it weren’t for the situation, she would’ve done it without a second thought, but her desire to stay with Anthony and explain herself was too great. So, she tried to push back the memories swirling her mind as the man took her hand and led her to a booth in the back. A few people stared, but if the blonde noticed, she didn’t show it as she settled down in the seat and wrapped the jacket further around herself, even taking the time to fumble with the buttons nervously as she thought of how to start. Her bottom lip was between her teeth as her eyes flickered to him. He was staring, as if waiting for her to say something. It took her a few more moments to summon up enough courage to even hold his gaze for longer than a few seconds, and she sucked in a soft breath as she folded her shaking arms on the table. Another couple moments later, Evelyn finally remembered how to speak. “T-Tony, I..” She trailed off, not sure of exactly what to say. “I-I’m so sorry you saw me like this..” Her voice was trembling and kept trailing off. Frustrated with herself, she leaned back against the seat of the booth and ran a hand through her curly hair. “This.. It was just a one-time thing. I-I thought no one would catch me in a place where there are no cameras. I thought I could just get this over with and go home with my hundred bucks, finish paying for my bills for my apartment before they take it away, and erase the damn memory from my mind. I know it’s not a good enough excuse, but I’m desperate and broke and-” Evelyn noticed she was rambling and stopped for a second, her gaze flashing to meet his. “Y-You know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to, Tony; I needed this money. I fucking need it.”