There's nothing wrong with just being yourself

Arckönyvtár

Things were good, actually no things were great before it all happened. Now, I feel so lost, lost for words, lost with my sense of direction, lost in my thoughts…I am lost. I have so many questions, I’m starting to think my life has become nothing but a series of questions. Thing is they are legitimate questions but they are still yet to be answered, will they ever be answered? Did I deserve this, does anyone deserve this?  Do you ever just look at someone and think to yourself, wow they are so lucky I wish I lived their life or when will  I finally be satisfied with the life I live. I used to be like them you know, happy, or at least I thought I was happy. Now..now I just sit, I feel numb, so numb in fact that I feel as if someone could drive a knife through me and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of pain. Emotions, what are emotions? Feelings, huh I feel nothing but emptiness… Hope, I used to think that was all I needed to get through life, that was until you. You made me give up on hope, give up on practically everything I lived for. Oh but look at you, everything has worked out pleasantly well for you hasn’t it?  Pain, I guess the only good thing is I no longer feel it, pain..that is. Or maybe I do, but I have become immune to it because that’s what anyone would do right?

When you leave a boyband you feel like you have to go in completely other direction. And say don’t worry everyone, I hated it, It wasn’t me. I loved it. I don’t feel like I have to apologise for that. I never felt like I was faking it.