i am one with the force

“Oh… God, don’t get me started,” Sawyer said, snickering to himself as he reached to grab for another slice. Man, Pablo’s was awesome – even if the man behind it was a fluke, the pizza was fantastic. He didn’t know how Sam could resist this stuff. “I dunno why somebody would propose on V-Day anyway. Maybe I’m not the best person to say shit about it, ‘cause I don’t dig the day as a whole – or, y’know… marriage – but… seems a little…” he paused, raising his pizza, “cheesy.”

And, as usual, Eva had a point. “Weeeeeeell, I don’t need my private jet for a while yet. When I’m a rich guitarist on a world tour – then I can have it. For now, weed is love. Weed is life. If you didn’t bring drank, I’d be saddened. Not mad, but disappointed. I got a whole cupboard. S’hard bein’ me, y’know.”

“Getting engaged on Valentine’s just seems so... obvious. Imagine being such a dull, cookie-cutter of a person that you get engaged on Valentine’s. Any other day of the year -- fine. Valentine’s? Boring.” Eva reached into her bag as they continued talking, taking out the bottle of wine and then getting up to search for some drinking vessels in Sawyer’s room.

Sawyer tilted his head like a confused dog. “Marriage? How dare you speak of such a cursed sanctity on Palentine’s Day. That’s on three hundred levels of not cool, Berry.” He joked, of course. Some marriages could be okay; his mom and dad were pretty tight, albeit had their moments. “I mean, who says I’ll ever settle down, y’know?” he rambled, holding his pizza in the air for a second as he chewed before speaking again. “I kinda picture myself as… as the cool uncle who flies in every so often. Has a lotta money. Maybe a private jet.” Time would tell, he guessed, whether or not he’d turn out a family man; he was kinda surprised – and eternally grateful – that he hadn’t already knocked someone up.

“You know what – that’s a secret, and secrets make friends.” He took another mouthful of pizza – and if he did have a mouth that was a little larger than average, he was a little grateful for it, at least in the eating department. And the department of other things. “Maybe we can blackmail him – threaten to unleash his deep, dark secret unless he gives us pizza for free.”

“I… yeah, maybe. Gonna have to get some squirty smelly-good stuff to erase the pizza, candley smell we got goin’ on in here. But you don’t gotta worry ‘bout that, m’dear, ‘cause it’s P-Day, and on P-Day we don’t worry: we eat, drink and fuck.”

Valentine’s Day -- the day more people than ever spoke about marriage. And yet she and Sawyer, on Palentine’s, decrying the topic... Admittedly, Eva hoped (wished, dreamed) to one day settle down and create more Berries to populate the Earth -- but for now, she was sceptical enough of commitment to agree with him. The thought of one person for life, while the secret, idealistic, hopeful end goal, was enough to put the fear in god of her now. Marriage, babies, committing to one person for life -- that was all future Eva’s problem. Future Eva could take down the walls. “Just think... so many idiots tying themselves together for ‘life’ right now. If we listen quietly, we may hear the gentle screaming of commitment-phobes who have just accidentally proposed...”

She raised a sceptical eyebrow at Sawyer’s vision, a smirk quirking her lips. “I think the 100 bucks a week on drugs might make a dent in your private jet savings plan... But hey, if you cut down on drugs, alcohol, food, shelter, breathing... you could get there. Though I don’t think you’ll ever be cool.” Eva watched, a little awestruck, and a little disgusted, at the amount of pizza he was able to shove in that huge mouth of his. “What’s a little blackmail between friends?”

He eyed the little twitch she made for her phone, watching as she ultimately decided against it, which was fair, he guessed. Heart-shaped pizzas lead to questions – and not questions about casual havers of sex. Their sibs were already hounding them for some reason; Sam just didn’t believe somebody could drop their pants for someone without being in love with them, no matter how much Sawyer tried to explain it. He’d been blue in the face trying to make Sam understand before ultimately giving up; he’s a romantic, and no amount of common sense could alter that. If he didn’t think the notion were so stupid, Sawyer might be into the idea of a romance. But he was happy with what he had. Very happy.

“Yeah… no, I think Joffrey would be enough to put anybody off that idea. I kinda watched it bein’ like, ‘Why don’t these kids have more webbed toes between ‘em?’, but then I guess he was such a lil’ fucker it made up for all that.” He met her pizza-cheers with a smile. “Cheers,” he replied. At Eva’s tangent, he had to laugh. As a… um… pair, they were quite passionate about pizza. “Agreed. Freakin’ disgrace. But oh so delicious. Only the best for Palentine’s, am I right? Even though they were super slow. Friggin’ Pablo’s. Here’s me thinkin’ we were their most loyal customers. Clearly everyone and their bro had the same idea today.”

Eva nodded along to Sawyer’s Game of Thrones commentary. “Joffrey had the personality of a webbed toe, the little shit. Can’t believe they married my Queen Sansa off to him. That’s on Robin Sherbatsky levels of deserving better.” She grinned as Sawyer cheers’d her pizza, lifting her slide up and taking a delicious bite. Pizza maybe wasn’t the best choice of food given the... activity they would get up to later, but it was damn delicious, and she’d bought enough gum to at least make the taste go away. “You really know how to treat a girl. Who knows, the future Mrs. Sawyer Evans may not file for divorce until at least the five year mark.”

She teased, but she definitely didn’t mean it. They were only doin’ it, but Sawyer had been -- sweet. While he’d been one of her closest friends before, someone she loved spending time with, it wasn’t until the shift in their relationship -- friendship -- that she’d got to see another side of him. She’d always known he was soft deep down, but she really believed in Sawyer. Despite what he believed himself. She didn’t bestow him the title of her favourite person lightly. “Ugh, Pablo’s. And yet we’ll still keep going back, even though they’re slow af, and even though he’s actually called Franco and not Pablo and the day we found that out rocked my world. Loyalty and calling yourself by your real typically Italian name mean nothing to Pablo. Franco.” She shook her head, disappointed.

Sawyer had to chuckle. “Yeah, ‘s a cool lil’ feature they’re doin’ now. Also how big your heart’s gonna be once it’s exploded from all the crap.” He wasn’t a stranger to the odd takeout for the munchies – only clear downside that came with his regular highs. With Sawyer, it was typically all or nothing. 

“Alright, first of all – offensive. My mouth is regularly awesome, ‘kay? And second of all, you’re totally a bro; I just thought bro sounded too dude-ish. You’re a… a fembro. A girlbro. A wobro.” He shrugged, joining her on the floor. “Nah, they all sound too stupid. You can be a bro if you wanna be a bro. Sis, however, just sounds too weird. All kinds of Game of Thrones vibes,” he rambled, reaching for a slice of pizza. “Only con to this incredibly shaped pizza is the design failure; less pizza since it goes in on those curves to make the heart. Another reason why V-Day’s garbage. Disrespectful, really.”

“It’s always nice for these places to be educational, y’know? Dinner and a medical review, it’s important stuff.” Eva briefly considered taking her phone out for a photo -- for the ‘gram -- but decided against it, unsure who she could show the photo to without it being misconstrued. A heart shaped pizza on Valentine’s was hilariously ironic, but Rachel would probably start talking about weddings again, and Sam would need to be told what ironic meant...

Fembro. Girlbro. Wobro. “I hate all of the things you just said,” she replied, wrinkling her nose. “Just bro is fine. Definitely not sis, let’s not get all Lannister, I don’t want a shithead like Joffrey for a child and I don’t want a perfectly good meal ruined by his stupid ass choking.” Eva grabbed herself a slice of pizza, holding it up to Sawyer. “Cheers.” She only slightly wanted to host an episode of Buzzfeed Worth-It. “This ‘holiday’ discriminates against the poor, the lonely, and the pizza lovers. Absolutely disgraceful. They can’t even cut it into proper slices, look at these stupid rectangles. I mean, it tastes like a tiny little slice of heaven, but it’s the a poorly shaped slice of heaven.”

Sawyer felt a jolt of excitement run down his spine when Eva confirmed she was thinking what he was thinking. But of course she was; they’d been doing this for a while. So why was he always still so freakin’ surprised and turned on by it? “Well, you ain’t avoidin’ that rep on Palentine’s Day – sorry to break it to ya. But it is bein’ real slow… think I’ll go dial ‘em up or somin’.”

The walk off was good for him, anyway. Kind of like a physical barrier between him and Eva, ‘cause he kinda wanted to jump her bones with all the sex talk they were doing. But then it’d just be like any other night – and this had to be ironically special, dammit. Phone in his ear to hear out for the ringing, he shot her daggers over his shoulder. “False. My lips are perfectly perfect, just like me – and fully proportionate to my face. We did that once, and I downright refuse to–” And, well, the phone didn’t ring fully, but the door certainly got knocked. “Ah, saved by the pizza.” He smirked, putting the phone back on its stand to greet the pizza guy, even giving him a little tip – he was surprised that he could since he kinda had an expensive hobby. Pizza box in hand, he spun around to face her. “Your pizza has arrived, mademoiselle.” He lifted the lid to expose the ever so wonderful heart shape. “And ain’t it just the picture of palmance? I’d say bromance but you’re a chick, and, well – offensive.”

“I think dying on Valentine’s Day, surrounded by candles and a heart shaped pizza, is probably the saddest way to die. This is the bad place.” Eva was pleased when Sawyer got up to call the pizza guy, turning away from her slightly to do it -- it was clearly just the heat from all the candles, but she was feeling flushed. Plus, him facing away from her gave her a chance to check out his butt -- still cute.

Fingering to a crescendo. Something only Eva herself could come out with. “Well… I dunno if you’re picturing what I’m picturing, but that’s a fantastic image,” he joked… sorta – because wasn’t it a fantastic image? “Eh… I mean, I got some use for you yet. I don’t feel like eatin’ a whole pizza by myself today. Plus, since it’s Palentine’s Day… well, it’d just be embarrassing. Your fatal death can wait ‘til after dinner.”

There was a tug in his stomach he couldn’t ignore when she said that, especially since she looked so pretty doing it. Imagine: a living person on the planet more suave than himself. “You do happen to have that particular skill set,” he agreed, biting down a smirk. But the Sam thing? “No way. There’s gotta be some differences. They say no one boob is the same.”

A fantastic image... One Eva hoped would become reality before the night was up. “I’m pretty sure I’m picturing what you’re picturing.” She shivered a little, recalling Sawyer’s touch, mouth on hers, hands grazing-- but that was for later. Now was for irony, and innuendo, and pizza. When it eventually turned up. Their favourite pizza place was delicious, but it was slow. “You’re going to make a heart shaped pizza my last meal? That’s actually tragic -- what would people think of me? I have a reputation to uphold, y’know.”

Fingering to a crescendo. Something only Eva herself could come out with. “Well… I dunno if you’re picturing what I’m picturing, but that’s a fantastic image,” he joked… sorta – because wasn’t it a fantastic image? “Eh… I mean, I got some use for you yet. I don’t feel like eatin’ a whole pizza by myself today. Plus, since it’s Palentine’s Day… well, it’d just be embarrassing. Your fatal death can wait ‘til after dinner.”

There was a tug in his stomach he couldn’t ignore when she said that, especially since she looked so pretty doing it. Imagine: a living person on the planet more suave than himself. “You do happen to have that particular skill set,” he agreed, biting down a smirk. But the Sam thing? “No way. There’s gotta be some differences. They say no one boob is the same.”

A fantastic image... and one Eva hoped would become reality before the night was up. “I’m definitely picturing what you’re picturing.” She shivered a little, recalling Sawyer’s touch, his mouth on hers, hands grazing-- but that was for later. Now was for irony, and innuendo, and pizza -- if it ever arrived. Their favourite pizza place was good, but it was slow.  “You’re going to make my last meal a heart shaped pizza? That’s actually tragic. That would be the saddest autopsy. I have a reputation to uphold, y’know.”

Sawyer guffawed, followed with a bout of laughter; he really just couldn’t freakin’ stop smiling. But of course he couldn’t, you know? Eva was awesome. Everyone in the world around him seemed to be obsessed with relationships. Sawyer and Eva, well, they just wanted sex and no strings – and wasn’t this whole entire thing just so perfect? He got a best friend and someone to have the sexy times with all rolled into one sexy little firecracker, and it was just the best. And she got him gifts. Total bonus. If she thought he didn’t notice her looking at him all endearingly, though, she was wrong; Sawyer just knew Eva had a soft spot for her friends, regardless of how tough and bravado-y she tried to be. She was kinda like him in that sense. “Yeah, yeah – on the guitar. We all know your mind ain’t ever in the gutter. But yeah, I could totally go for those. I think you’ll find I’m talented enough in both departments to play any instrument well. Nice to know you’re lustin’ after me when I’m playin’ guitar, though. I mean, look at me go: friggin’ lady killer. 

“But goin’ by that logic train, you could be a lil’ musician yourself. After all, I’m not the only one who knows how to work my mouth.”

And he totally also missed the big lips comment thinking about other things to do with mouths, and he realised it. Dammit. “…Not as big as Sam’s, though, right? ‘Cause his mouth is ginormous.”

Eva laughed when Sawyer did -- she always relished being the comedienne. Plus, she always laughed more around Sawyer -- they were on the same wavelength, bouncing off each other, giggling at stupid shit that few others found funny. She felt -- lighter, around him. Like she was on helium. A little high, sometimes, but mostly just happy and comfortable and light, content in the knowledge that they were just them and that was all that needed to be said. “Exactly, on guitar. I’m a big fan of music and I just happen to think you’re excellent at fingering to a crescendo.” She snorted a little, shaking her head. He was ridiculous. They were ridiculous. “’Lady killer’. Again with the murder. Genuinely afraid for the next time you tie me up in case you use my incapacitation to shank me.”