TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: just call me horny collins
SAW: i thought it'd make nice headwear
EVA: vom
EVA: brb suckin on sam's big lips
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@evasam
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: just call me horny collins
SAW: i thought it'd make nice headwear
EVA: vom
EVA: brb suckin on sam's big lips

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TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: i will. we're gonna bang it out to mulan rouge
SAW: i think i have one of those in my wardrobe
EVA: i think i just threw up in my mouth
EVA: u were meant to give that back to me
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: cool i will
SAW: i know, right?? then again, i'm p persuasive myself. must be somethin about bein blonde. and one day famous...
EVA: sick tell me when it happens
EVA: u need the conical bra tho
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: fine
SAW: i'll fuck rachel
SAW: i mean why not right, she's madonna
EVA: lol okay off u go
EVA: tru think of what being madonna could get u
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: why would u wanna fuck sam? u like him now?
SAW: wait, that's how madonna adopts?
SAW: ...no. course not. shelter. obviously
EVA: i mean he's basically u
EVA: p much, goes to africa and just grabs a rando kid
EVA: uh huh

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TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: that's disgusting
SAW: so like go get one off the street?
EVA: i'm not allowed to fuck sam?
EVA: calm down madonna
EVA: is that how u think adoption works?
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: but then who'd be ur booty call? huh? didn't think about that one did ya?
SAW: nah, i don't want a cat. i want a dog.
SAW: i already have a pussy 2 pet
EVA: sam obvs
EVA: okay but adopt don't shop!!!
EVA: creepy
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: so u DO think i should do it
EVA: i mean my life would be way easier if u were expelled i'm ngl
EVA: also surprised that wasn't just a set up for a pussy joke, proud of u
TXTÂ â SAWBERRY
SAW: i really want a dog
SAW: i know we cant have them on campus but i still really want one
EVA: sounds like u don't want it bad enough tbh
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
âOh⌠God, donât get me started,â Sawyer said, snickering to himself as he reached to grab for another slice. Man, Pabloâs was awesome â even if the man behind it was a fluke, the pizza was fantastic. He didnât know how Sam could resist this stuff. âI dunno why somebody would propose on V-Day anyway. Maybe Iâm not the best person to say shit about it, âcause I donât dig the day as a whole â or, yâknow⌠marriage â but⌠seems a littleâŚâ he paused, raising his pizza, âcheesy.â
And, as usual, Eva had a point. âWeeeeeeell, I donât need my private jet for a while yet. When Iâm a rich guitarist on a world tour â then I can have it. For now, weed is love. Weed is life. If you didnât bring drank, Iâd be saddened. Not mad, but disappointed. I got a whole cupboard. Sâhard beinâ me, yâknow.â
âGetting engaged on Valentineâs just seems so... obvious. Imagine being such a dull, cookie-cutter of a person that you get engaged on Valentineâs. Any other day of the year -- fine. Valentineâs? Boring.â Eva reached into her bag as they continued talking, taking out the bottle of wine and then getting up to search for some drinking vessels in Sawyerâs room.
âItâs gunna be so fun when the whole gang is livinâ the life. Iâll be watching Rachelâs shows on Broadway, scouting out hot ice hockey players at Samâs games, warning your groupies at your gigs that you have horrible STDs... itâs gunna be a time.â She shot him a teasing smile, and continued searching for cups or glasses, eventually turning back to face Sawyer. âUnless you can magic up any cups, it looks like itâs going to be an ABC party. Or we drink out the bottle like the wild degenerates we are.â

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F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Sawyer tilted his head like a confused dog. âMarriage? How dare you speak of such a cursed sanctity on Palentineâs Day. Thatâs on three hundred levels of not cool, Berry.â He joked, of course. Some marriages could be okay; his mom and dad were pretty tight, albeit had their moments. âI mean, who says Iâll ever settle down, yâknow?â he rambled, holding his pizza in the air for a second as he chewed before speaking again. âI kinda picture myself as⌠as the cool uncle who flies in every so often. Has a lotta money. Maybe a private jet.â Time would tell, he guessed, whether or not heâd turn out a family man; he was kinda surprised â and eternally grateful â that he hadnât already knocked someone up.
âYou know what â thatâs a secret, and secrets make friends.â He took another mouthful of pizza â and if he did have a mouth that was a little larger than average, he was a little grateful for it, at least in the eating department. And the department of other things. âMaybe we can blackmail him â threaten to unleash his deep, dark secret unless he gives us pizza for free.â
âI⌠yeah, maybe. Gonna have to get some squirty smelly-good stuff to erase the pizza, candley smell we got goinâ on in here. But you donât gotta worry âbout that, mâdear, âcause itâs P-Day, and on P-Day we donât worry: we eat, drink and fuck.â
Valentineâs Day -- the day more people than ever spoke about marriage. And yet she and Sawyer, on Palentineâs, decrying the topic... Admittedly, Eva hoped (wished, dreamed) to one day settle down and create more Berries to populate the Earth -- but for now, she was sceptical enough of commitment to agree with him. The thought of one person for life, while the secret, idealistic, hopeful end goal, was enough to put the fear in god of her now. Marriage, babies, committing to one person for life -- that was all future Evaâs problem. Future Eva could take down the walls. âJust think... so many idiots tying themselves together for âlifeâ right now. If we listen quietly, we may hear the gentle screaming of commitment-phobes who have just accidentally proposed...â
She raised a sceptical eyebrow at Sawyerâs vision, a smirk quirking her lips. âI think the 100 bucks a week on drugs might make a dent in your private jet savings plan... But hey, if you cut down on drugs, alcohol, food, shelter, breathing... you could get there. Though I donât think youâll ever be cool.â Eva watched, a little awestruck, and a little disgusted, at the amount of pizza he was able to shove in that huge mouth of his. âWhatâs a little blackmail between friends?â
âSquirty smell stuff?â Eva pulled a face. âWhat you do in your own room in your own time is none of my business. Though speaking of drinking, I did bring some wine so we could get our drank on.â
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
He eyed the little twitch she made for her phone, watching as she ultimately decided against it, which was fair, he guessed. Heart-shaped pizzas lead to questions â and not questions about casual havers of sex. Their sibs were already hounding them for some reason; Sam just didnât believe somebody could drop their pants for someone without being in love with them, no matter how much Sawyer tried to explain it. Heâd been blue in the face trying to make Sam understand before ultimately giving up; heâs a romantic, and no amount of common sense could alter that. If he didnât think the notion were so stupid, Sawyer might be into the idea of a romance. But he was happy with what he had. Very happy.
âYeah⌠no, I think Joffrey would be enough to put anybody off that idea. I kinda watched it beinâ like, âWhy donât these kids have more webbed toes between âem?â, but then I guess he was such a lilâ fucker it made up for all that.â He met her pizza-cheers with a smile. âCheers,â he replied. At Evaâs tangent, he had to laugh. As a⌠um⌠pair, they were quite passionate about pizza. âAgreed. Freakinâ disgrace. But oh so delicious. Only the best for Palentineâs, am I right? Even though they were super slow. Frigginâ Pabloâs. Hereâs me thinkinâ we were their most loyal customers. Clearly everyone and their bro had the same idea today.â
Eva nodded along to Sawyerâs Game of Thrones commentary. âJoffrey had the personality of a webbed toe, the little shit. Canât believe they married my Queen Sansa off to him. Thatâs on Robin Sherbatsky levels of deserving better.â She grinned as Sawyer cheersâd her pizza, lifting her slide up and taking a delicious bite. Pizza maybe wasnât the best choice of food given the... activity they would get up to later, but it was damn delicious, and sheâd bought enough gum to at least make the taste go away. âYou really know how to treat a girl. Who knows, the future Mrs. Sawyer Evans may not file for divorce until at least the five year mark.â
She teased, but she definitely didnât mean it. They were only doinâ it, but Sawyer had been -- sweet. While heâd been one of her closest friends before, someone she loved spending time with, it wasnât until the shift in their relationship -- friendship -- that sheâd got to see another side of him. Sheâd always known he was soft deep down, but she really believed in Sawyer. Despite what he believed himself. She didnât bestow him the title of her favourite person lightly. âUgh, Pabloâs. And yet weâll still keep going back, even though theyâre slow af, and even though heâs actually called Franco and not Pablo and the day we found that out rocked my world. Loyalty and calling yourself by your real typically Italian name mean nothing to Pablo. Franco.â She shook her head, disappointed.
âYâknow, between the yankee candles and the pizza, your place is gunna smell weird tomorrow.â
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Sawyer had to chuckle. âYeah, âs a cool lilâ feature theyâre doinâ now. Also how big your heartâs gonna be once itâs exploded from all the crap.â He wasnât a stranger to the odd takeout for the munchies â only clear downside that came with his regular highs. With Sawyer, it was typically all or nothing.Â
âAlright, first of all â offensive. My mouth is regularly awesome, âkay? And second of all, youâre totally a bro; I just thought bro sounded too dude-ish. Youâre a⌠a fembro. A girlbro. A wobro.â He shrugged, joining her on the floor. âNah, they all sound too stupid. You can be a bro if you wanna be a bro. Sis, however, just sounds too weird. All kinds of Game of Thrones vibes,â he rambled, reaching for a slice of pizza. âOnly con to this incredibly shaped pizza is the design failure; less pizza since it goes in on those curves to make the heart. Another reason why V-Dayâs garbage. Disrespectful, really.â
âItâs always nice for these places to be educational, yâknow? Dinner and a medical review, itâs important stuff.â Eva briefly considered taking her phone out for a photo -- for the âgram -- but decided against it, unsure who she could show the photo to without it being misconstrued. A heart shaped pizza on Valentineâs was hilariously ironic, but Rachel would probably start talking about weddings again, and Sam would need to be told what ironic meant...
Fembro. Girlbro. Wobro. âI hate all of the things you just said,â she replied, wrinkling her nose. âJust bro is fine. Definitely not sis, letâs not get all Lannister, I donât want a shithead like Joffrey for a child and I donât want a perfectly good meal ruined by his stupid ass choking.â Eva grabbed herself a slice of pizza, holding it up to Sawyer. âCheers.â She only slightly wanted to host an episode of Buzzfeed Worth-It. âThis âholidayâ discriminates against the poor, the lonely, and the pizza lovers. Absolutely disgraceful. They canât even cut it into proper slices, look at these stupid rectangles. I mean, it tastes like a tiny little slice of heaven, but itâs the a poorly shaped slice of heaven.â
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Sawyer felt a jolt of excitement run down his spine when Eva confirmed she was thinking what he was thinking. But of course she was; theyâd been doing this for a while. So why was he always still so freakinâ surprised and turned on by it? âWell, you ainât avoidinâ that rep on Palentineâs Day â sorry to break it to ya. But it is beinâ real slow⌠think Iâll go dial âem up or sominâ.â
The walk off was good for him, anyway. Kind of like a physical barrier between him and Eva, âcause he kinda wanted to jump her bones with all the sex talk they were doing. But then itâd just be like any other night â and this had to be ironically special, dammit. Phone in his ear to hear out for the ringing, he shot her daggers over his shoulder. âFalse. My lips are perfectly perfect, just like me â and fully proportionate to my face. We did that once, and I downright refuse toââ And, well, the phone didnât ring fully, but the door certainly got knocked. âAh, saved by the pizza.â He smirked, putting the phone back on its stand to greet the pizza guy, even giving him a little tip â he was surprised that he could since he kinda had an expensive hobby. Pizza box in hand, he spun around to face her. âYour pizza has arrived, mademoiselle.â He lifted the lid to expose the ever so wonderful heart shape. âAnd ainât it just the picture of palmance? Iâd say bromance but youâre a chick, and, well â offensive.â
âI think dying on Valentineâs Day, surrounded by candles and a heart shaped pizza, is probably the saddest way to die. This is the bad place.â Eva was pleased when Sawyer got up to call the pizza guy, turning away from her slightly to do it -- it was clearly just the heat from all the candles, but she was feeling flushed. Plus, him facing away from her gave her a chance to check out his butt -- still cute.
Saved by the pizza. The door opening was enough of a cold breeze to snap her out of her lust (for now), and she settled herself down on the floor among the candles, waiting for Sawyer to deliver the pizza unto her. They were friends, first and foremost, after all. And there was a pizza waiting to be eaten by those friends. âMerci beaucoup, monsieur." She grinned as she saw the stupid heart shaped pizza, holding her arms out for the box. âOh, wow. Thatâs great. I like that they now show you which part of the body youâre clogging with grease when you eat their food.â Eva set the pizza down on the floor, waiting for Sawyer to join her. âIâm not your bro? I mean, Iâm not your literal bro because my mouth isnât big enough to be equal to yours, but I thought I was a bro bro. Iâm cool. Iâm hip.â
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Fingering to a crescendo. Something only Eva herself could come out with. âWell⌠I dunno if youâre picturing what Iâm picturing, but thatâs a fantastic image,â he joked⌠sorta â because wasnât it a fantastic image? âEh⌠I mean, I got some use for you yet. I donât feel like eatinâ a whole pizza by myself today. Plus, since itâs Palentineâs Day⌠well, itâd just be embarrassing. Your fatal death can wait âtil after dinner.â
There was a tug in his stomach he couldnât ignore when she said that, especially since she looked so pretty doing it. Imagine: a living person on the planet more suave than himself. âYou do happen to have that particular skill set,â he agreed, biting down a smirk. But the Sam thing? âNo way. Thereâs gotta be some differences. They say no one boob is the same.â
A fantastic image... One Eva hoped would become reality before the night was up. âIâm pretty sure Iâm picturing what youâre picturing.â She shivered a little, recalling Sawyerâs touch, mouth on hers, hands grazing-- but that was for later. Now was for irony, and innuendo, and pizza. When it eventually turned up. Their favourite pizza place was delicious, but it was slow. âYouâre going to make a heart shaped pizza my last meal? Thatâs actually tragic -- what would people think of me? I have a reputation to uphold, yâknow.â
Eva could tell by Sawyerâs expression that this conversation was working him up -- as it was her. A cold shower was probably necessary, to save the poor pizza manâs innocence when he finally came knockinâ. She chose to let the topic of blowing go, having no doubt that theyâd return to it eventually.. as they always did. âYou and Sam are both tits, itâs true. But youâre tits with big mouths. Identically big mouths. I could get a ruler out, or we could try chubby bunny again... I think we can beat your last record if you just gag less.â It took all of Evaâs willpower not to return to their previous topic of conversation. âYou look so hot with nineteen marshmallows in your mouth.â

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F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Fingering to a crescendo. Something only Eva herself could come out with. âWell⌠I dunno if youâre picturing what Iâm picturing, but thatâs a fantastic image,â he joked⌠sorta â because wasnât it a fantastic image? âEh⌠I mean, I got some use for you yet. I donât feel like eatinâ a whole pizza by myself today. Plus, since itâs Palentineâs Day⌠well, itâd just be embarrassing. Your fatal death can wait âtil after dinner.â
There was a tug in his stomach he couldnât ignore when she said that, especially since she looked so pretty doing it. Imagine: a living person on the planet more suave than himself. âYou do happen to have that particular skill set,â he agreed, biting down a smirk. But the Sam thing? âNo way. Thereâs gotta be some differences. They say no one boob is the same.â
A fantastic image... and one Eva hoped would become reality before the night was up. âIâm definitely picturing what youâre picturing.â She shivered a little, recalling Sawyerâs touch, his mouth on hers, hands grazing-- but that was for later. Now was for irony, and innuendo, and pizza -- if it ever arrived. Their favourite pizza place was good, but it was slow.  âYouâre going to make my last meal a heart shaped pizza? Thatâs actually tragic. That would be the saddest autopsy. I have a reputation to uphold, yâknow.â
Eva could tell by the look on Sawyerâs face that this conversation was working him up -- as it was her. A cold shower was probably the best thing for them, the only way to preserve the pizza manâs innocence when he finally came knockinâ. She chose to let their conversation about blowing go, knowing that it would definitely come back up again later. âYou and Sam are both tits, thatâs true. But youâre tits with huge mouths. Identically huge mouths. I could prove it by getting a ruler out to measure, or we could try chubby bunny again... I think you can beat your record if you just gag less.â It was hard not to go straight back to their previous conversation, but Eva fought on. âYou look sexy with nineteen marshmallows in your mouth...â
F2FÂ â SAWBERRY
sawyerquinnâ:
Sawyer guffawed, followed with a bout of laughter; he really just couldnât freakinâ stop smiling. But of course he couldnât, you know? Eva was awesome. Everyone in the world around him seemed to be obsessed with relationships. Sawyer and Eva, well, they just wanted sex and no strings â and wasnât this whole entire thing just so perfect? He got a best friend and someone to have the sexy times with all rolled into one sexy little firecracker, and it was just the best. And she got him gifts. Total bonus. If she thought he didnât notice her looking at him all endearingly, though, she was wrong; Sawyer just knew Eva had a soft spot for her friends, regardless of how tough and bravado-y she tried to be. She was kinda like him in that sense. âYeah, yeah â on the guitar. We all know your mind ainât ever in the gutter. But yeah, I could totally go for those. I think youâll find Iâm talented enough in both departments to play any instrument well. Nice to know youâre lustinâ after me when Iâm playinâ guitar, though. I mean, look at me go: frigginâ lady killer.Â
âBut goinâ by that logic train, you could be a lilâ musician yourself. After all, Iâm not the only one who knows how to work my mouth.â
And he totally also missed the big lips comment thinking about other things to do with mouths, and he realised it. Dammit. ââŚNot as big as Samâs, though, right? âCause his mouth is ginormous.â
Eva laughed when Sawyer did -- she always relished being the comedienne. Plus, she always laughed more around Sawyer -- they were on the same wavelength, bouncing off each other, giggling at stupid shit that few others found funny. She felt -- lighter, around him. Like she was on helium. A little high, sometimes, but mostly just happy and comfortable and light, content in the knowledge that they were just them and that was all that needed to be said. âExactly, on guitar. Iâm a big fan of music and I just happen to think youâre excellent at fingering to a crescendo.â She snorted a little, shaking her head. He was ridiculous. They were ridiculous. ââLady killerâ. Again with the murder. Genuinely afraid for the next time you tie me up in case you use my incapacitation to shank me.â
âBut youâre right, I am very good with my mouth. You have to be good at blowing for those instruments, right? I think I have some experience in that department.â She rolled her eyes as he brought up Samâs lips again -- she was giving him a complex, which, admittedly, was half the fun. âYou and Sam are identical. Itâs impossible for his mouth to be ginormous and yours not to be. Thatâs how being identical works, dummy.â