M A E L S T R O M

running for president as a member of the American Fujoshi Party with a foolproof plan to address male loneliness

my parents visited today and their latest item of ‘what people you knew in school are up to lately’ gossip was about the absolutely BONKERS thing they’re trying to talk their friend out of doing to her daughter. I’m still in shock tbh

Their friend is helping her daughter’s boyfriend’s mom to throw a 200-guest surprise engagement party for her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. The daughter and the bf are not engaged. Neither of them have even discussed planning to get engaged with their respective mothers. The moms are going to surprise the bf with his late grandmother’s ring at the party and tell him it’s time to propose to his gf. In front of 200 friends and family members. Just an absolute nightmare scenario.

Oh the kicker is that the pretense they’re inviting people under is that it’s a surprise “congrats on passing the bar” party for the bf. A thing he is currently stressing about having to take for the second time and may not pass. So it may turn into a 200-person surprise “sorry you failed to pass the bar for the second time, here’s your grandma’s ring, go propose anyway” party, which is a near-incomprehensible level of public humiliation.

Bf’s mom, whose brainchild this whole thing was, has already rented out an entire waterfront restaurant for the party. In Newport. This is what “more money than sense” looks like in practice.

Since this blew up overnight and people are asking, I managed to track the daughter down on linkedin today (the only social media I could find that we both have, lol) and message her. So she has been warned, and hopefully doesn't take the message poorly.

when some evil cunt dies posting on tumblr carries the feeling of the last day of school before summer break

being shot in the neck and having the video of your blood pouring out of you blasted all across social media is a natural consequence of believing and fighting for gun rights above any human rights.

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post