Eurovision Song Contest

ukraine: edgy vampire sets whole stage on fire

spain: 3 month anniversary date singing to all of europe

solvenia: pink hair and her gal pals

lithuania: no please no not a ballad

austria: mmmmm heart eyes #bae

estonia: opera? really? okay rainbow dress, they did get the memo after all!

norway: not fairytale (2009)

portugal: they're gay and in love for sure

uk: british katy perry, got sabotaged, liked her more because of it

serbia: cult leader and sister wives feat. Albert Einstein on the pipe

germany: ballad but forgivable because its totes emosh

albania: adam lambert is that you? tattoos so good, china banned them

france: je suis bored

czech republic: backpack boy, sounds like talk dirty to me?

denmark: this viking ballad got me sailing straight to valhalla

australia: shE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE

finland: third time lucky saara?

bulgaria: washed up boyband???

moldova: no led staging? moldova don't need it

sweden: red lights I think? I skipped out for a toilet break lol

hungary: screaming into the void #mood

israel: the birdie song but new and improved (feat. body positivity)

netherlands: america? what are you doing here?

ireland: beautiful gay love story, don't hate us cause you ain't us China xox

cyprus: absolute banger, looks like Queen Bey