N I H I L U M

you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. put your mp3 player, itunes, spotify, etc. on shuffle & list the first 10 songs.

Well. Like, three of them are explicit I guess. Click it all at your own peril

Braveheart - Ayumi Miyazaki

Headphone Actor -  Jin ft. LiSA

I’m Not in Love - 10cc

Somebody to Love - Queen

Mass Destruction -  Lotus Juice Remix

I Need A Doctor - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem, Skylar Grey

Pompeii - Bastille

Paper Walls - Yellowcard

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Nandemonaiya (Movie Version) - RADWIMPS

“A world that’s nothing….You guys wouldn’t be accepted even in your own eyes, still.” That’s how she sees it. How can you be accepted when you don’t feel anything. It wouldn’t be something from the heart. It won’t be genuine, It’ll be no emotions attached. It’ll be nothing. Absolutely nothing. “The world doesn’t work like that….You can’t be selfish. You can’t have everything and have nothing.” 

If anything, Xemnas will only live in deeper despair. He’d probably have even more anger and rage. That’s what she thinks personally. He….really does remind her of him. It’s unsettling. She’s trying not to, but she’s beginning to remember. At least not everything is the same. That’s a plus…right? “Here you can start over. Here, in Hive City, you don’t have to worry about anything.” Yeah, it’s a prison in a way. It’s a cell, but at the same time, it protects you from certain things. “We don’t know when the Scientists will send us back, but wouldn’t it be better if for the short while, we just….” No…That doesn’t work, because it will only devastate, hurt, and cause anger and such. 

She’s come to realize that. She isn’t a Nobody so she doesn’t understand, but she can only imagine what it’d be like to try and live a normal life only to be thrown back into your own world and realize you have to go because of your Somebody. 

And now she’s released a sigh. Lips is being bitten by teeth and she’s clenching on fists. “…..What’s your name?” She decides to ask. He may not give it. Probably will say something along the lines of ‘no point in giving it to you, you won’t remember’, but hey, she might be wrong. 

“We will never be accepted. We are broken, hollow reflections of those that fell into darkness. No one will ever truly accept what we are.”

It could have been heartbreaking to see someone else say it, with so much belief behind his words. Nothing could sway him from this view, nothing could change his mind, the way the words were stated with authority, demanding to be accepted spoke volumes of how long he had been tied to the core of nothingness, how close he was to truly becoming nothing.  Xemnas didn’t believe for a moment that anyone would ever accept a nobody.

His eyes watched the other as she offered advice, words painted with comfort that almost sounded like a desperate request for the superior to try. To become something more then the fragment he was. But an empty, cold laugh echoed from within him, as fake as everything he portrayed. “Your idea implies that I care if I am alone. That I could care” A hand was placed upon his chest, flat against the cloak and above where his heart should have been beating. Where there was nothing but a distinct lack of emptiness. “There is nothing here. Love me, and I will ignore it. Kill me, and I will accept it. Befriend me, betray me, do whatever you wish. I will not stop you. There is no purpose in a city that defies death itself. “

“I cannot die. I do not remember how to live. And I am incapable of caring either way. So tell me, child. What would you do, if you had no desire to live. Yet you were denied even the right to die.”

Maybe sometimes he does forget, with this city and place getting to his head. Having liberties he’s usually not used to having..he’s not going to deny that he’s grown the horrible tendency of dismissing a lot of things. A lot of things that have an effect on him, an influence on him, so to that he doesn’t have much to say. He doesn’t need to deny nor say it’s the truth. Him not openly embracing the fact that he’s a Nobody should already be an obvious answer enough for the superior. “Yeah I can see you told her a good number of things,” as to how much and how exactly is arguable and up for great speculation considering that Xemnas’ standing and view point is as defined as it was back then..except that here Roxas’ been given a bit more knowledge in regards to many things instead of being left alone to wander on his own in the dark.

Roxas can’t help but to be a bit baffled by his words. “Hardly your problem? Hardly your problem?!” Roxas knows what he means, in that sense he understands but the fact of the matter is if Xemnas wouldn’t have said anything then a lot of trouble could have been spared. “Horrible things happened because you opened your mouth!” He points at him in an accusing manner. “I know I’m wrong for not being out and open with what I am!” He has to eat up some pride to say that. “But none of that really matters here! And you know it doesn’t, you’ve been here way longer than I have!”

“I told her what she wished to know. She asked to understand us, to understand you. She wanted to know my goals, the Organization’s dream.

Would you have preferred I lie to the child, and leave her living in ignorance?”

Truth be told this entire situation was bizarre by even the superiors standards. From his perspective, he hadn’t truly done anything wrong. And yet, he had still expected the young nobody to be angry with him despite this. Had Xemnas simply reached a point where he expected everyone to attack him without question? Where he had come to accept that everyone would eventually turn against him, regardless of words exchanged in the past? His expression was even more hollow then usual, as if it were possible, and the eyes that hunted down knowledge and understanding lacked anything at all.

This city was doing something, after all. Yet was it granting him emotions to understand the heart? Or pushing him closer to nothing then ever before.

The other’s protests had him glancing down with little to no interest, more evidence that Roxas would see him as no more then a threat to everything. “Horrible things occurred, Roxas. Because you lied.” he stated blankly, lifting a hand to push away the others attempt to point at him. “The rules do not apply? Who are you to decide that. Did you intend to build relationships in this city, only to leave them all with nothing but despair and loneliness when the scientists inevitably drag you out of here?”

Hands crossed once more behind his back, golden eyes gazing down at the other. He had been here longer. In fact the only one to have resided here longer then himself, was Sora, and the keyblade warrior never had a logical view of any situation. “There is nothing here we can do to be accepted, Roxas. Nobodies cannot be accepted, never truly. We can be pitied, we can be denied, we can have sympathy placed at our feet. But they will never truly accept us.

To them, we are broken. They simply wish to fix us, and move on. I have been here longer then you. So believe me when I say this.

                    “But you know, it is not hope that is the pinnacle of all human emotion. It’s something more passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. It’s love. ”

“What a naive perspective of emotions you possess...”

Roxas would declare that he has some nerve but at this point such response was to be expected. So he saw this coming, no surprise there, Xemnas is the superior after all and Roxas likes it or not he knows how he works sometimes. It does unnerve him but at this point there’s nothing Roxas can do about it. And now he got one of the people he cares about involved, at least in what Roxas wanted to keep to himself for a while. And..that isn’t okay at all.

“No, you think?!” His question’s a sarcastic one. Knowing Xemnas he knew what would have transpired even if roughly. “What I am and my connection to Sora is nobody’s business and you know it! I don’t need you going around butting into things that don’t concern you.” His friendships surely don’t involve him in the least. Heck Roxas doesn’t even mention the man.

Standing as stoic as always in the face of Roxas’s anger, the superior’s hands were clasped behind his back, waiting patiently for the other to finish. Unlike everything else he had done, this particular event was simple to explain, and truth be told rather harmless in his opinion. He had merely tested whether the girl could accept the truth, by giving her something no normal creature in possession of a heart would be able to deal with.

Evidently accepting the truth had nothing to do with ones actions after discovering it.

“First, Roxas. What you are is my business, as is everything you do.” he echoed, golden eyes glaring down at the younger. “You are a nobody. And I am superior of everything tied to nothingness, you of all people should be aware of that. Arguing the point like this, merely implies that you no longer remember who it is you are dealing with.” A point that the superior had proven rather quickly, when he turned the enthusiasm of that girl into despair.

“And second. I simply gave her what she wanted. She wanted to understand us, to understand me. She wished to hear the truth of what a nobody is, of what I am. So I told her, exactly what we are. 

Roxas doesn’t even know? He had to die in order to save Roxas? What will happen if Roxas founds out what happened? mmmm, don’t tell him. Respect what Xemnas wants. She’ll keep her mouth shut about it. She won’t tell a soul. Now she has to wrap her head around this. A nobody who desired everything. Life, power, everything. 

“…” For a nobody who doesn’t have a heart, therefore no emotions, he sounds irritated. this man he speaks of….The man this guy once was…He must be talking about what Roxas is to Sora. This Somebody, right? 

“No one….can become a god. You should know that, at least by now.” The Red Moon child knows that one all too well. He’s beginning to remind her of the leader who ran the facility back when she was a baby. However, even so, she can’t bring herself to hate this guy. 

“everybody craves power, but they don’t understand that power….to take everything doesn’t make it better. It’d only make things worse. A world that you want…It wouldn’t be…If anything it’d just be something much more darker and full of despair.” Yeah, she can’t bring herself to. Why would she? After all, if she’s honest with herself. It’s not bad. If you try to look at things in his point of view, she has to understand the things he has gone through and the things the rest had to go through….It isn’t fair. 

but even so…

“No. Or at the very least...not anymore. Beyond this city I am dead and gone. And within it, I am closer to nothing then I have ever been in the past.

It seems that a nobody never truly gets what they want, no matter what it is. We are simply destined to return to oblivion, while those the light decided truly exist, take our place.”

And the result would always be that he becomes nothing but a pawn in the grand scheme his somebody wishes to play out. A nobody with a fragment of a heart placed within him, destined to fight against the seven guardians of light alongside thirteen seekers of darkness. This city was simply a holding cell then, keeping him here until the time came to fulfill Xehanort’s dream. For a man without emotion, the thought of it had rage as real as anything flashing in his expression, golden eyes glaring down at the girl before him.

“Finish your sentence child, for anyone can guess what you would say. A world that I desired would lack emotion. It would lack anger, it would lack hatred. There would be no despair, no agony.  But it would lack joy. It would lack friendship. It would lack love.

I wanted the world to become nothing.”

To recreate the worlds of light and dark in his own image would be just that, a world of nothingness. It was something he had desired mostly out of greed, and no more. After all, the superior of nothingness was just that. Superior of the entire realm and everything that was tied to it. By all means he could have been killed, Marluxia could have succeeded in some alternate universe where Sora could have bested anyone by himself. But none of them would have ever possessed the power Xemnas possessed.  The ability to control nothingness, and every energy tied to it.

“It is not complicated, child. If one possesses everything there ever was, then even the light and dark together could not deny my existence. To take everything they have from them, and make it my own.

Listening to him, she found herself remembering how he was in Twilight Town, watching his fight with Axel as well as his anger towards DiZ. She soon didn’t find it hard to picture the rage and hurt in Roxas’s eyes as she’d witnessed a bit of a glimpse of it once upon a time. He was so full of anger, betrayal.. The memories caused an ache in her chest and she brought a hand up as if it’d cease it but it only resumed. Perhaps it was from guilt. This was in fact her fault, the torture he’d been put through because she had to gather Sora’s memories.. The domino effect of her actions. Always hurting someone, always causing suffering and for what? To end another’s just to being pain to a strangers who may not have even done nothing but existed? It only weighed on her and her eyes pulled away from Xemnas to gaze upon the ground. How would she ever fix this mess she’d made?

Steady breaths left the Nobody as she continued to listen to Xemnas speak, her remembrance of the one named Marluxia making her flinch the slightest but quickly gathered her composure. “ Why.. Did he want to defeat you? I thought you all stuck together, had one goal. Did.. He not? ” She knew Marluxia held cruel intentions but she assumed they all did. That was, until Axel helped her and she saw that there was some good in the group. “ Why would he risk everyone’s lives in Castle Oblivion just to take down you? What did they all have against you, Xemnas..? ” Gaze now was focused back up at him but in a gentle way, her blue irises wishing to find some answer in his yellow ones that made shivers run down her spine. She knew lives wasn’t the correct term for it, but she was confident that Xemnas would understand what she meant. But she knew a little explanation would happen and he’d correct her. He already seemed like the type..

He then brought up his actions once again and then mentioned Roxas acting upon harm to Namine and she couldn’t find herself making sense of it in a way. Why protect the one who brought the pain and suffering? Who’d started the whole mess.. The cause of it all. The guilt ate at her but she swallowed it down. Maybe Xemnas had a point.. She had to stay safe. Even if it meant agreeing to having Xemnas stand by her to keep her safe from those in the district she’d been set in.

“ I want to protect Roxas. I want to help him.. He deserves it, after all I’ve caused, that I help. And I need you to help me do it, Xemnas. Please.. ” Eyes pleaded up at the one she knew he held true rage for but surely, Roxas may learn to overlook it. Maybe this was the place they’d find peace with one another, the final step that meant ending all the bad blood and wrongs.. “ I owe him and Sora at least that. To protect them.. Help them on their way. If I’m forgotten, if I’m left behind.. So be it. But I want to make it up to them. They didn’t deserve what I did. ” No one did, honestly, but she wanted to make it right. This one time.. She had the chance to and she wouldn’t let it go. Not until she’d achieved her goal.

He answered her question on other Nobodies and she couldn’t help but to actually smile at the mention of Demyx. He’d always been a silly one but at least he wasn’t doing much harm.. Right? She was about to ask how the forming of his Organization was going up until he brought up Kairi’s memories. A.. “ Keyblade Master? Kairi..? ” Circling memories crossed her thoughts as she searched them, eyelids closing with her thoughts focusing but she found nothing.. Until there was the woman who took flowers from young but tender fingers.. Her name. What was it?.. “ The woman with blue hair? She’s.. Here? ”

It seemed this place was full of surprising memories.

“What did they have against me....I believe you could answer that question yourself, Namine. What did you first think, when you saw the superior of the in between standing before you.”

Truth be told, he had never truly discovered why Marluxia had planned a rebellion. The superior had a vague idea, perhaps a rivalry twisted beyond what anyone had expected possible from a collection of nobodies. Perhaps Marluxia simply wanted more then what he had, and it was nothing but greed. Whatever the reason, it did not matter. His expression was cold and unforgiving as they spoke of the wasted talent within the Graceful Assassin. “He plotted a revolt from within, I assume under the impression that I didn’t know. It was the reason I sent those nobodies to castle oblivion, after all. Axel completed that particular mission rather well. Even freeing you in the process...in his defense, you were never the objective to begin with.

A pity my former master decided to imprison you again. Or was it your decision to start with? If memory serves me correctly, you did not offer Roxas much in the way of saving.”

Then again, she could hardly be faulted for what took place. Marluxia had shattered Sora’s memories, and Riku had been the one to prove he would move heaven and earth to save his friend. “You and Riku were willing to move heaven and earth to bring back Sora...the things you did to Roxas were almost impressive. Locking him away, giving him a life, and then ripping it from his grasp. Granting him existence, only to take it all away, piece by piece. To be honest, Namine. It sounds like something I would have done.” His voice echoed, eyes observing the other as she flinched at memories of Marluxia, or placed a hand upon her chest to supposedly ease the pain within her. It was a curious thing to observe, if Xemnas was to be entirely honest. He had never seen it up close, the way one experienced pain, despair, or fear. And all from a child who was supposedly nothing to begin with. Yet just like Roxas, she seemed to genuinely feel emotions. Was this the work of Ventus once more? Or Kairi’s connection to the light...it was no wonder Diz and Marluxia stole her away.  She would have been remarkably dangerous, if the superior had gotten a hold of her.

She did seem willing to help Roxas, however, most likely feeling as if it was all her fault. Which, in the superior’s opinion, was nothing but the truth. It was entirely Namine’s fault, that Roxas suffered as he did. But for her to protect the thirteenth member? “Then I suppose you will be remaining at my side. Replacing one master with another.”

“Unless of course you believe that you can fight off the dangers in this city with the ability to manipulate Sora’s memories.” His words were colder with that, as if he expected better. Golden eyes locking with hers as she begged the nobody to let her help, to allow her to fix the wrongdoings of her past. “Still...if you are to remain at my side...I imagine those two would assume I am your latest captor, and proceed to try destroy me...the result is inevitable...” Locking his gaze upon her for a few more moments, her mention of Aqua had his cold gaze soften, thoughts crossing to ponder what the azure warrior would do in this situation. “...Do you truly wish for my help in this matter? If you are seen beside me, for any reason, Roxas will surely come to resent you. If you are to use my power to protect him, then Sora will never forgive you.

If she asks about Roxas his secret is no longer a secret. She’ll know much about him, she’ll understand him….but how would he react if she told him? How would he react to someone who just ups and says ‘hey I know you’re a Nobody! I know your stuff’ Wouldn’t it be better to wait for ROXAS to tell her everything? On the other hand, she can ask about Sora. She can find out why he’s doing all of this, but the same question applies…Wouldn’t it be better if Sora told her through his own mouth? His own words. Then…There’s this man. His goal for his Organization, perhaps the only thing that keeps him going, and wanting to live. When it’s all done, will he disappear? Just like the rest of them?

So much questions she wants to know, but not enough time. Why can’t he just give her all the answers? This way, she can just be in despair for ALL of them. You know, knock them all out. 

“What’s your goal?” He’s here, she might as well ask him. He’s offering to tell her and she does want to know about his goal. Hopefully when she talks to Sora and Roxas, they’ll be honest with her. 

“My goal...it seems you have decided on the truth that even Roxas does not know of. I suggest you do not tell him. The last time we fought, I had to die to save him from his own rage. I would rather not repeat the process, if I can avoid it.”

Not that he cared. But, the superior had given her his word. And though in the past, that may have meant nothing to him, but here in this city he had yet to go against it. Perhaps it was Aqua, or perhaps it was the city itself. Sora and Roxas were right...he was changing. Clinging to excuses was unbecoming of him. “Very well, child. Then my goal is simple. I desired everything.”

“I am superior of Organization XIII. Our mission was to gather hearts that had fallen into darkness, claiming them for ourselves and bringing them together to form a power strong enough to grant every one of us existence.” he began, wasting no time in getting to the point. She wanted to know what he did, and how far he could go. She chose to look into the nothingness that was the superior and attempt to understand. Then she could face the consequences. “But that was not the Organization’s true goal. And even then, the true purpose of the Organization, was never something I personally sought. My goal was far easier to understand, and far less dramatic then an old mans desire to see a war.”

The words were spat out with irritation, a rarity for the superior to show distaste for anything. But even if he dutifully obeyed his somebody, and even if his curiosity drove him to help the man in his goals. Destroying everything just to see what would happen, was childish at best.  “If you wish for the Organization’s true purpose itself, then it was to create thirteen vessels. Thirteen seekers of darkness, who would each stand against the light and recreate a war that would reshape the world. Or so I was told by the man I once was. 

@etherealsuperior

“Xemnas! You and I need to talk!” The glare’s already there no surprise. He doesn’t waste a step and steps before the superior, arms out as if to prevent him from going any further. “What did you tell her?! What did you tell Kachina?!”

“You’re late.”

He briefly wondered if the boy grew tired of this. Xemnas expecting him at each turn, simply waiting for the moment that the keyblade warriors would again stand before him. Matching the glare with his expressionless gaze, the superior echoed back his reply as bluntly as possible.

“What?” Sora? Sora said something like that? Sure from what Xemnas explained, Nobodies aren’t even suppose to be here. From her understanding that is, but that’s still something no one should say. After all doesn’t nobodies have a will to live? She would imagine so, especially if there’s a goal From what she knows, if a person has a goal, there’s a will to live. Xemnas….He has a goal. He has a will to live. 

What’s his goal?

Does she really want to know? What if it’s more unple—yeah, it’s going to be more unpleasantness. That’s pretty much what he’s getting at. That’s what he said. Still, even so, she’s torn. Does she want to know or does she not?

With one mitten-gloved hand, she’s messing with the hem of the other one, “I want to know.” She decides. “I want to know your goal…And….I want to know…..more about Roxas.” It’s painful. BEYOND painful, but she has to know. The more she knows, the better she can understand.

“And tell me more about Sora…”

“You wish to know much, for someone who can barely handle a single truth of my world”

Roxas would surely be upset over this. Though he could say she wished for it, claimed to be able to accept reality. The superior was well aware of how a heart would react when told the people it cares for are destined to be ripped away. He knew she would succumb to despair, in the face of someone like himself. A complete opposite, an emotionless husk standing before what was once the personification of enthusiasm. But she had requested knowledge that he possessed. And he simply gave it to her.

Whether it will break her or make her stronger, simply remained to be seen.

“I will not reveal everything to you, not when this was your reaction. If I tell you my perspective of Sora, then he will undoubtedly come for me. Upset, irritated, and before long attempting to fight me.” he echoed, eyes locked with the girls as his empty words continued. “The truth of my goals will simply anger you, or upset you further. And if I am to explain everything that Roxas is to you, then I imagine your reaction would be identical to his own. Weeks wandering in despair, without any direction, lost and alone despite the countless people he seems to have met.”

His gaze drifted skyward, pondering how to proceed. She was the sort of person who would most likely seek out Roxas as soon as she left here. Her initial reaction proved that much. And so regardless of how he proceeded, another tedious meeting with the thirteenth member of his Organization was destined to occur. Still...he was willing to reveal more. Just, not everything at once. “Decide, child. Do you wish to know what my true goal for the Organization was? Do you desire the knowledge of Sora’s part in the death of my Organization?

A hand reaches over to be placed where the heart is. It aches, it feels like someone is just ripping it right out of her chest. She has no one to blame but…Well no one, actually. She wanted to know the truth, thought she could handle it and now look at her. She says all these things, that she won’t forget and that he will be here forever without disappearing. She’s so sure that they’ll be friends and the Scientists won’t take him away. He won’t fade, he can’t. She is saying all these things and yet….

Doesn’t Roxas have emotions though? She knows when he smiles, it’s empty, but she’s seen emotions. She’s seen anger and how he felt when she was in that damn cage. Those couldn’t be fake, right? Those couldn’t be empty. She wants to believe that this man is just whack, but once again….She wanted to know the truth, she wanted to know more about Roxas and he gave it to her. 

That’s beyond…discouraging. She won’t be able to protect Roxas if this is how things will be. There really is no such thing where a world can coexist with another, is there? Not even Hive city. There’s always going to be something that causes one or the other to go through some sort of horrible state. 

“It’s really inevitable,” She mutters under her breath. Man, she wants to scream perhaps even throw a  fit, but she doesn’t. “Does Sora know? Does he even know what happens?”

“It would be difficult for Sora to not know...considering he once told me that we nobodies do not even exist.”

Painting the keyblade warrior in such a negative light was perhaps unnecessary when ever he relayed these events, but from his perspective Sora was the antagonist. Interfering at every opportunity, cutting through the last of his Organization until they were all returned to the nothingness the light condemned them to live in. Eyes gazing down at the girl who wanted to accept the truth, it seemed she was becoming distraught. Despair crawling into her reality, replacing that boundless enthusiasm he had met with something different.

At least she was beginning to understand.

“At the very least, you seem to accept this. And with this, you have proven to accept the truth, on some level.” The superior stated, expression still empty as he watched the despair crawl into this girls life. “And so, I suppose I should give you something. Assuming you still wish to know, I will tell you what the goal of the Organization was.

★☆ – “Something tells me I shouldn’t trust the word of a scary old man like you!”

★☆ – “Um… I don’t suppose anyone knows the way to Luna Nova Academy from here… do they?” Where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she where was she?

“You can no longer reach it. Attempting too is a waste of your time.”

There’s really no way to prevent all of that? SURELY they want to change their outcome right? Kachina wants to know if that’s what this man is trying to do. Though, even if she weren’t to accept the truth now, she knows it’s going to happen. The truth will be accepted. That’s usually what happens! HOWEVER, just because one person is known to vanish soon, that it’s the destiny, doesn’t mean that nothing they do does not matter. Everything everyone does always matters and that’just how she sees it. Eyes slowly close in thought. The more he talks about this, the more information she’s retaining in that head of her’s, the more it’s beginning to make sense. At least a little bit.

“Even…..” Even in Hive City. It can happen, can’t it? The Scientists may have control over many things, but do they have control over this. Over the outcome of the nobodies? 

“Never mind.” 

“But it’s not that I’m not accepting the truth,” She starts, “it’s…just I know for a fact I will remember Roxas. That’s what I genuinely believe.” But what if she’s wrong? What if she ends up NOT remembering Roxas? What then? No….She knows he’ll be remembered. 

“I actually really don’t think that’s at all fair for you guys. Yeah, you accept this is who you are, but do you REALLY just want that to be it? That you disappear and cease to exist.” She shrugs, “In Hive City….It’s kind of like a start over, don’t you think? What rules applied in your world, doesn’t apply here.”

“I do not want anything. I am incapable of desire. The one thing that drove me to live, is impossible to reach in this city.” His expression softened, but only slightly. The expression that demanded respect, replaced with one that simply remained empty, void of any real interest in this conversation at all. The superior had been explaining this more often then not, to many. That he had no heart, no emotion. And thus, he had no real desire for anything

"A true nobody, like myself, is one that is devoid of all emotion. I cannot feel remorse or pity for those that I crushed beneath my Organization. I created life only to treat it like nothing more then a doll, but I do not feel guilt because of this. If Roxas was to disappear before me, despite him being a former comrade and member of my Organization.

I would not care. A nobody like myself, simply cannot feel any of these things.”

“And you are so certain that this city will keep you and him together forever?” echoed his voice, hands moving to fold behind his back. It was true, this city and its rules denied the idea that a nobody would fade away. So long as they were needed, they would remain. But then, it was easy to imagine the day that they would no longer be required. People left this city as often as they joined, Roxas could very well be one of them. “If you wish to pray that this cities rules will save him, then realize that those same rules will be the reason you forget. They will one day grow tired of you, and me. There is no guarantee you will remain here forever. And even if you manage to find our world. Even if you manage to claw across impossible odds and stand in the realm of light.

She blinked in curiosity as the Nobody reached back at something– what happened? Tilting her head slightly, the keyblade master was about to voice her concern when Xemnas looked back at  her… But differently. Blue eyes went wide as she blinked in confusion, the warmth in the others gaze being nothing she’d… ever experienced before. At least not from him.

“Xemnas…? Are you–.” She didn’t get to finish, her lips parting in surprise as he actually… smiled at her. It wasn’t big but it was there, and it was different from the ones that he often faked for her amusement. What had gotten into him? Was this some kind of Valentine’s Day.

“Um…?” She stared at the hand extended between them and, against perhaps her better judgement, slowly lifted her own hand and placed it on the gloved one. What had gotten into him? Even listening to his suggestions, his questions– it was confusing and… Nice? He was being nice, and it was strange but Aqua certainly didn’t hate it.

“But– where did this come from? I’m confused.”

His core seemed to be denying these actions. The base instincts within himself that rejected emotions in favor of nothingness, burning away at his core, the suggestion of him caring to this extent even more impossible then the fact that he existed to begin with. But Xemnas did not care about that. Whether this would destroy him or change him into something entirely different. He could not get the image from his mind. Could not remove the sound of her voice, unable to forget her words no matter how many times they played out.

She did not see him as Xehanort. Nor did she even see him as Terra. As she placed her hand in his, the superior of nothingness wrapped it in his own, and led her to his side. His grip lingered for a moment, before releasing the other and bowing his head low, voice echoing his thoughts as the hand that held hers was placed upon his chest. “You accepted me.”

“Where everyone else saw a fragment of the past, you saw a being with a future. It is only fitting...that I thank you for such a thing. You are the only person to ever exist, that has accepted what I am.”

Golden eyes closed, lost in thoughts as he pondered how to spend this day, how to treat this rarity that had surpassed every expectation. From her words, this was a day of romance. Of affection and love, a day to show just how much people cared for each other. And though moments ago he thought it idiotic, that such things could be told any day of the year, now he could not stop himself from plotting each event, planning out every path. His eyes snapped open suddenly, the smile ever present and warmer then anything he could have faked for anyone’s comfort.  “So come, Aqua. Allow me to return the favor...” And he turned as sharply as the change in personality, reaching down to once again take her hand and lead her alongside him down the street.  “Flowers, chocolate and romance. If this is what makes this day perfect...if it is what one needs to see how much they are cared for.

Roxas sees even the smallest glimmers of hopes. It seems like Roxas brought up a good point at the mention of Aqua. This can be it, this is so it-not it! The young nobody can be seen physically slouching down when Xemnas persists that it should be him and not the superior. Roxas has already come to the middle ground that he’s far more exposed to emotions than any other Nobody apparently, that’s what this place has got him to understand but..Xemnas on the other hand feels nothing so wouldn’t he be the best candidate?

He crosses his arms. “Neither of them! They’re my friends.” It’s odd to say that out loud. Friends he cares deeply for..even if one of those cases is kind of odd. “You’re not as exposed to emotions as I am so it’d be far more interesting with you if you ask me.” Roxas is being honest here, even if maybe he is trying to turn the tables around a bit. “Besides the idea of being head over heels for Aqua doesn’t seem to bother you that much.” At least Roxas didn’t sense any aggression when he brought her up this time. “Wait..” Does this mean that he.. “Are you..already?” He’s a bit cautious when asking because he knows for sure the impossibility in it but still..Aqua has always been a special case. That much Roxas is able to tell ever since he met her here.

He wouldn’t dislike the idea of thinking of Aqua in that manner, at least he assumed as much. But the reality was that he did lack almost every emotion, and held only a series of vague memories that gave him clues as to the others. There wasn’t a guarantee that anything dramatically obvious would change about himself.

A boy who cannot control emotion, however. That experience of affection, unfiltered and left to rage without limitation. It would be far more interesting to see.

“Yes, Roxas, I am aware of how you categorize these people. It is why I suggested them, and not some trivial bystander from the street. Or would you rather that?

It is because you possess emotion that I believe it should be you. Demyx, I would study the effects on a man who does not have a heart, but can still remember it. In you, I would study the emotion itself, as you have proven to possess no control over what you feel. But if it was myself? I am only capable of recalling rage, Roxas. And what do you suppose Love and Hatred can possibly achieve when they are all a nobody can experience?” 

He remained as steadfast as ever, refusing to budge on the idea that it should be Roxas and not himself. Hands moved behind his back, the superior tilting his head to observe the boy for a few more seconds after his latest batch of nonsense. Him and Aqua? “No. Not only would it be entirely illogical to pursue any romantic attachment to anyone.