โi wish i hated youโ
laxus x f!reader
cw: angst( w/ comfort), love-sick reader, somewhat toxic laxus
a/n: tried to make this as emotional as i could, but we all know that i suck at these kinds of things. so i hope you enjoy this <3
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Hung all my clothes in the closet you made
Your shoes still in boxes, I send them your way
Hoping life brings you no new pain
I rearrange my memories
I try to rewrite our life
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After the painful breakup, you found yourself yearning for Laxus even more deeply. You couldnโt fathom why the two of you had decided to part ways. Despite his shortcomings as a lover, he had always put in sincere effort. You wished him well, hoping he was finding happiness and anticipating brighter days ahead. Above all, you hoped he missed you as much as you missed him.
Accepting that he's gone for good has been and continues to be incredibly difficult for you. To cope with the heartbreak, you've created scenarios in your mind. You've imagined fictitious situations where both of you are deeply in love, yearning for the person you once were. Lately, you've noticed a change in yourself, so profound that even those at the guild barely recognize you anymore.
"Y/N, are you okay? You seem... distant," Lucy asked, coming over to where you were seated and settling beside you. You met her gaze with the same distant expression you'd worn for the past few days.
"I'm fine, Lu-chan. You should go before Natsu and Happy leave you behind," you said, pointing at the duo who were about to embark on another quest.
"Okay then, bye! See you soon, Y/n-sama!" Lucy exclaimed, enveloping you in a warm hug and flashing a bright smile before she departed. You rose from your seat and made your way to the second floor of the guild, feeling the need for solitude. Your search led you to a quest that spanned six months. Taking the request up to Mirajane, she greeted you with a gentle smile before whispering softly, "Come back safely."
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But no matter how I try to (mm)
And no matter how I want to (mm)
And no matter how easy things could be if I did
And no matter how guilty, I still feel saying it
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Heading towards the client's location, you unexpectedly encountered the Thunder Legion at a nearby inn. Exhausted from two days of relentless travel without sleep, you felt conflicted about their presence but pushed on, ignoring them. Instead, you enlisted the bellboy's help with your luggage, which he gladly accepted to ensure everyone enjoyed their stay. Just as you were entering your room, Freed approached you. He had noticed your arrival and scrutinized your weary expression, expressing concern about your well-being. Politely declining his worries, you explained your need for rest after the sleepless journey. As he prepared to leave, Freed awkwardly attempted to apologize for Laxus's actions, feeling responsible.
"You don't need to apologize, Freed. It's my fault for not setting boundaries and allowing it to happen. If anything, I should be the one apologizing," you murmured, bowing slightly. Freed was taken aback, not understanding why you would take blame for something beyond your control. Just as you were about to enter, you caught a glimpse of Laxus from the corner of your eye. Your gazes met briefly before you hurriedly dashed inside, shutting the door behind you. Slumping to the floor, you took a moment to compose yourself before standing and walking to a nearby mirror. "You need to stop thinking about him, dummy. It's not like he wants you," you muttered to your reflection, clenching your jaw to stave off the overwhelming thoughts. Despite your efforts, you couldn't banish him from your mind or heart.
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I wish I hated you
I wish that weren't true
Wish there was worse to you
I wish you were worse to me
Yeah, I wish I hated you
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Memories flooded back relentlesslyโboth the beautiful and the painful. Yet, despite everything, you cherished each one dearly. They were all that remained of the moments spent with the love of your life. You recalled how he would return after long absences, enveloping you in hugs and kisses. You also remembered the times he inexplicably grew distant and critical, belittling you for perceived weaknesses and unfairly assigning blame. Through all the arguments and heartache endured, your love for him persisted, though uncertainty gnawed at youโdid he still feel the same way?
The next day, as you headed towards your clients' meetup spot, you couldn't help but notice the bustling cafe filled with couples. Some were laughing and enjoying each other's company, while others sat somberly, deep in conversation. The scene stirred memories of your own relationshipโa rollercoaster of joyous highs and distressing lows. Spotting your client, you approached and greeted him. The flyer detailing the job was somewhat confusing, but despite that, you accepted the challenge. Your task: to retrieve a rare and irreplaceable gem hidden deep within the local mountain range. Legends spoke of its location in a treacherous cave teeming with monsters. Many wizards had met their end thereโeither falling from cliffs or succumbing to the beasts lurking within.
"Ah, that clarifies things. But what's the significance of the small text below the prize?" you inquire.
"Oh, you're the first one to notice! It's a surprise for whoever manages to bring the gem back to me!" he replies with a grin.
Returning a warm smile to the man before excusing yourself, you set off towards the mountain.
The mountain towered high above, confirming why this quest spanned six months. Understanding the challenge ahead, you estimated a three-day climb to the summit without breaks. Equipped with the climbing gear provided, you wasted no time and began the ascent.
After roughly five hours of relentless climbing, the thinning air made each breath a struggle. Undeterred, you pressed onward until you spotted a small, man-made opening in the rockโjust large enough for you to squeeze through. It wasn't easy, but you persevered.
Inside the cave, a breathtaking sight awaited you. The walls shimmered with an array of vibrant rocks and stones, some glowing softly while others dazzled with intense brilliance. The spectacle left you utterly speechless.
You encountered monsters sporadically along the way, dispatching them with varying degrees of difficulty. Some foes were straightforward to defeat, while others posed significant challenges that tested your skills.
Referring to the picture of the gem you needed to retrieve, you scoured the immediate area without success. Determined, you sought a higher vantage point and ascended towards a steep rock face.
However, your path was unexpectedly blocked by a group of Vulcans. They aggressively charged at you, driven by a primal urge to claim you as their 'mate.' Despite their ferocity, you managed to overcome them in battle.
After subduing the Vulcans, you asked if they had any knowledge of the gem's whereabouts. They nodded in response, indicating they could lead you to its location.
"Thank you, but I'm quite tired. Would one of you mind carrying me to it?" you requested. They eagerly nodded in agreement, and one of them lifted you onto its back. The journey took some time, but true to their word, they led you to a narrow crevice within the wall where the gem was hidden.
After enlarging the opening to access the gem, you asked the Vulcan to remain there while you retrieved it. They complied, patiently waiting as you carefully extracted the powerful and irreplaceable gem. Marveling at its uniqueness, you wrapped it securely in fabric.
Returning to where the Vulcans awaited outside, you rejoined them, grateful for their assistance in locating the precious gem.
"Alright, could you please take me back down the mountain? I'm in a hurry," you requested, climbing onto the back of one of the Vulcans. Safely navigating the descent, you emerged from the mountain with minimal injuries. Throughout the journey, thoughts of the majestic landscape stirred memories of Laxus. The towering peaks and vibrant gems evoked a sense of awe, reminiscent of moments spent with him. In particular, the jagged stones adorned with a captivating yellow aura resonated deeply, recalling his presence and the emotions tied to those memories.
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Our shadows dance in a parallel plane
Just two different endings, you learn to repair
And I learn to keep me in one place
So close (so close) and yet so far (so far)
If only we had known from the start
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After handing over the gem to the man, he promptly rewarded you and presented the surprise gift he had mentioned earlier. He handed you an expensive getaway ticket for two, suggesting you could bring someone close to you along if you wished.
"Once again, Miss, I want to express my gratitude for your hard work! I understand being a wizard isn't easy, so please accept this gift as a token of my appreciation for your service," he said, bowing respectfully as he escorted you out of his estate.
"Thank you, sir. I truly appreciate your generosity. This is something I will treasure forever," you expressed warmly, bidding farewell before setting off to find a place to rest and unwind. The mission had wrapped up swiftly, hardly feeling like an S-class quest, but the reward money would certainly cover your rent for a while.
As you strolled, you stumbled upon a luxurious hotel and promptly booked a three-day stay. You were relieved to secure a room at the reasonable rate of 100,000 jewels. Along the corridor, you glimpsed someone who bore a striking resemblance to Evergreen.
Guided by the bellboy to your room, lost in thought, you collided with a stranger. To your surprise, they stood firm, preventing a potential accident. The bellboy reached out to help, but the stranger intervened, assisting you to your feet.
Looking up with wide eyes and a gasp, you noticed Laxusโ disheveled appearanceโdark circles under his eyes and a pallid complexion. Quickly averting your gaze, you apologized and walked away swiftly. The bellboy hurried to catch up with your pace, managing your luggage as you made your retreat.
"I apologize for not paying attention to your warning earlier. I didn't mean to cause trouble for you, sir," you said sincerely.
"It's no problem at all, Miss. As long as you're enjoying your stay, we're happy," he replied with a wink, effortlessly guiding your luggage into the spacious room. The suite was impressive, complete with its own hot tub, a massive bed, and a sizable kitchen.
After thanking the bellboy and settling him for his assistance, you prepared to retire for the night. Just as you were getting ready, a soft knock interrupted your thoughts. Opening the door, you were taken aback to find Laxus standing before you. You hesitated, torn between shutting him out or letting him in. Before you could decide, he broke the silence, asking if he could enter.
You both settled at the foot of the bed, your gaze fixed on your feet. "How did you find my room? It's not exactly straightforward to get that information from the front desk," you questioned, feeling suspicious. However, he explained that the bellboy had informed him of your whereabouts.
"I paid him 60,000 jewels just to find out where you were. I needed to talk to you about... everything," he confessed softly. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, and he sensed your embarrassment. Gently, he took your hand and lifted it to his lips, planting a soft kiss on it. Your cheeks flushed with a mix of love and embarrassment at his tender gesture.
Slowly raising your eyes to meet his, you offered to fetch water or tea. Before you could move, he pulled you into his lap by the waist, catching you off guard. Flustered more than ever, you looked away, but he began to speak.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you. I couldn't express myself properly around you. I realize now how badly I behaved, despite how good you were to me," he admitted, his voice wavering as he struggled to contain his emotions. He held you closer, as if afraid you might slip away.
You tried to pull away, feeling ashamed to be so close to him. But he held onto you tightly, refusing to let go.
"Please, Laxus, let me go. It's already so difficult for me to accept that you're no longer a part of my life. Please don't make this any harder," you pleaded, tears welling up as you fought to hold them back in his presence. He sank back onto the bed with you still nestled against his chest. Looking down at him, you noticed tears streaming down his face, his eyes red and swollen, and his nose damp with tears.
You buried your face into his chest, giving in to your tears. He tenderly rubbed your back, trying to soothe you. "I missed you so much, and leaving you was a mistake. It made me realize I can't live without you by my side. Please, y/n, don't leave me again," he whispered brokenly, his voice filled with emotion.
Unable to hold back any longer, you sobbed harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself up to meet his gaze. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, you released yourself from his grasp and lay down beside him. With a warm smile, you drifted off to sleep, comforted by his presence once more.
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But no matter how I try to (mm)
And no matter how I want to (mm)
And no matter how easy things could be if I did
And no matter how guilty, I still feel saying it
I wish I hated you
I wish that weren't true
Wish there was worse to you
I wish you were worse to me
Yeah, I wish I hated you
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Waking up to find the bed empty, you initially thought it was a dream until you heard the shower running. "He's still here," you realized with a smile, heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for both of you.
As you cooked, conflicting thoughts raced through your mind. You questioned whether you had let him back into your life too easily, whether you should have forgiven him for his past actions. Yet, despite these doubts, your heart spoke louder. You longed for him, desperately wanting him back, regardless of the consequences. All that mattered was having him by your side once more; nothing and no one else seemed to hold significance.
You reconciled and gradually found yourselves getting along better than ever. He showed more patience and empathy, never pushing you away or belittling you over trivial matters. Instead, he worked through issues with you, genuinely changing and becoming a better man for your sake.
Slowly, you began to rediscover your old selfโcheerful and happy. Yet, at times, doubts crept in, wondering if he had truly changed or if you were simply trying to convince yourself to hate him. Despite these fleeting thoughts, you couldn't bring yourself to hate him. Your love for him remained unwavering, your affection unyielding.
"Hey princess, where would you like to go for our date tonight?" Laxus asked, his arm around yours as you leaned into him.
"Anywhere with you is perfect," you replied, flashing him a gentle smile before pulling him close for a kiss. In that moment, happiness washed over you, grateful to have him back in your life.
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Just wanted to say thank you for liking my stories, even if they arenโt the best, Iโm grateful that you all are here enjoying what I put out. Love you all. โก๏ธ










