cunt

Walking up that familiar path, you blew out a rough sigh.

You regretted coming. It wasn’t even your idea… Okay, maybe it was your idea.

The softball team had a rivalry game the next day and your co-captain thought it would really boost attendance if the dearly beloved hockey team came. Ordinarily, you had no issues recruiting the other teams to come support or even rallying your own girls to support your fellow Briar U athletes. The problem was that your ex-boyfriend was on the hockey team.

You pulled your phone, hoping for an abort text from your co-captain. Maybe she had been able to catch Beau after class and ask him to take care of it. He was close friends with Dean, surely he could get him to say yes.

Instead, all she sent was a good luck text and fingers crossed emojis. You sent a middle finger emoji in return and walked up the short steps. The last time you were on the porch, you were leaving a box of John’s things. You hadn’t even knocked that day.

After learning the hard way, you picked up the habit of knocking before entering that house. You once walked in without and saw more of Dean Di Laurentis than you had ever wanted to.

You opened the door slowly with your head down as you knocked four times.

“Everyone decent?” You called out.

“Hey!” Dean answered. “You’re good!”

“Thank god.” You mumbled and fully walked in, pushing the door shut behind you. “Just you?”

“Nah, G’s upstairs and Logan’s out back I think. I can get him if you-“

“No!” You said. Dean’s eyebrows raised and he smiled at your reaction, making you realize you had given that answer too fast and too loud. “I don’t need John, I mean. I didn’t come to talk to him. I can just ask you.”

“No?” Dean laughed. “What’s wrong with Logan?”

“Nothing’s wrong with him.” You rolled your eyes slightly.

“You came all this way to not talk to him?”

“Can you stop being a dick for like five minutes? I would’ve called but I kinda figured it’d be better to ask multiple of you guys at once.”

“So we do need Logan!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at you.

“Ohmygod.” You ran a hand down your face. “Missa wanted me to-“

“What about Logan?” The familiar voice came into the room and a familiar heat flushed your body.

You hadn’t spoken much to John since you two broke up. You saw him on campus or when you went with Hannah to the hockey games or their parties, but that didn’t mean you two held a conversation. It was mainly just awkward nods or clipped sentences.

“Hey.” You breathed.

John hesitated slightly once he saw you.

—

“I have a real shot at captain this season.” You laughed nervously. “This is major!”

“Yeah, that’s great.” John smiled. “You’ve been working hard lately.”

“Johnnycake, this is huge. There’s hardly ever been a walk-on named captain.”

“I’m proud of you. You earned this.”

You smiled a little wider and John threw his arm around your shoulders.

–

“Are you seriously mad at me right now?” You laughed in disbelief.

“No, I’m not mad.” John answered, his voice tight.

“Really? Do you hear yourself or…?”

“Seriously, Y/N, it’s fine. Let’s just forget it.”

“No. That’s not fair.”

John laughed slightly and made a face to himself before meeting your eyes. “That’s what you think isn’t fair? Not that we hardly see each other anymore?”

“You’re the one who told me to go for captain!” You yelled, throwing your hands forward. “I don’t make the fucking schedule, John! Coach thinks we can make a serious play-off run with this squad so yes, we’re practicing a little more but it’s hardly any different than your schedule. Jesus, half the time you don’t even ask how anything with the team is going! And I never held that against you!”

“I never let it keep me from you!”

“It did. It fucking did and you know it.”

“I always made time for you.”

“Physically, sure, but mentally you were checked the fuck out on me more often than not.”

“But I was fucking there!”

“Because everything was planned around your schedule! Around your practice, your games, your parties even.”

“You never had an issue with my schedule before.”

“Cause I didn’t care!” You insisted.

“Apparently you did!”

“How is all of this my fault now?”

“I never said it’s your fault.”

“You didn’t have to! ‘I never let it keep me from you’ obviously means that I’m not doing enough for you.”

“That’s not what I fucking meant.”

“Please.” You threw your hands forward. “Tell me what you fucking meant then.”

He covered his face with both hands as he mumbled something you couldn’t understand. He looked at you again but you simply crossed your arms and stared expectantly.

“I’m allowed to want to spend time with my girlfriend, right?” He began and you nodded quietly. “That’s all this is, okay?”

“I’m trying, John. Really, I am, but I can’t rearrange every aspect of my schedule to match yours. I don’t set our lifting times or our field times or film days or any of it. Between that and classes, I’m running myself in circles and I would love it if I could get just a little bit of grace from my boyfriend.”

“If you weren’t happy, you should’ve said something sooner. We could’ve figured it out sooner.”

“I wasn’t gonna push on something you can’t quite control.”

“You’d rather just be miserable?” He scoffed. “Why?”

“Because I just wanted to make it work! I thought you wanted that, too…”

“I do.” He nodded. “Fuck. I do, I’m sorry. I’m just- I’m just tired, okay? Can we not fight about this?”

“We can’t just ignore it.” You countered. There was no anger in your voice, just the hurt realization that your relationship had come to a screeching halt. “Neither of us are gonna wake up tomorrow and suddenly not be busy and tired. John, if we can’t figure this out now, what does it mean for us later on?”

“Y/N…” He sighed. He knew you were right. He was probably thinking the same thing.

You took a guess as to what that tone meant.

“Right…” You nodded slowly. “I should go then.”

“Don’t do that.” He reached for your hand.

“No, it’s-“ You took a step back, just out of his reach. “You’re right. I’m never around and it’s not fair to you. We’ve both got a lot riding on this season so…”

“That’s it then?”

“I guess so… Makes sense why you guys don’t really do relationships.” You laughed sadly. The tears were burning your eyes but you looked up, trying to blink them away.

“Garrett and Hannah make it work.” John countered softly. “Kinda thought we could, too.”

You looked back at him and sniffled. He hadn’t moved any closer but you saw the way his fingers twitched, like he wanted to hold your hand or just reach for you. He thought better of it.

“I guess they just wanted it more.” You mumbled, more to yourself than for John to hear, but the house seemed to fall silent on the other side of his bedroom door.

“Don’t say that.” His voice broke.

“It’s too late for me to change my jersey number back, though.”

—

“Earth to Y/N.” Dean said, moments before a couch pillow hit your stomach.

You snapped from your thoughts and looked over at the blond. You snatched the pillow and whacked him over the head with it. As you pulled your arm back for a second shot, you heard John laugh.

“What part of-“ Another whack. “-stop being a dick-“ Another. “-did you not hear?” One final whack before you tossed it out of his reach. “Anyways. What are you guys doing tomorrow?”

“Like me and him specifically?” John pointed between himself and Dean.

“You, him, Garrett, Tucker, Beau. Everyone.” You shrugged.

“You’ve already forgotten our schedule, Y/N/N?” Dean asked innocently. “I’m hurt.”

You looked over at the previously weaponized pillow in contemplation.

“Okay, okay.” Dean laughed, his hands up in surrender. “Just usual practice stuff, why?”

“Will you guys be done by 3:10?”

“Game tomorrow?” John asked.

“Yeah… If we win, we take over first place. This could be huge for our playoff run.” You nodded slowly. “Missa thought having the hockey team there and if Jules posted on the Fifth Line account about you guys being there, we could rally some home field advantage.”

John flashed a smile that faded as soon as it came. You shoved your hands awkwardly in your back pockets. You didn’t want to say that you threw out the idea first, specifically thinking about getting John to the game. Something felt like you needed him there to get your season back on track.

“You don’t have to.” You offered. “I know softball isn’t really your guys’ scene but-“

“It’s not that.” John cut in. “We’ll be there.”

“We will?” Dean looked to John, but John didn’t seem to notice. He was still looking at you.

“Thanks.” You smiled. “The girls will be thrilled… Just try not to make them nervous.”

“How so?”

At that, you stared pointedly at Dean. “Last year, he came to a game and I distinctly remember Alysia, Chey, and Nicki tripping over third on their way to score. They were all thrown out at the plate and when I asked what happened, the answer was all the same. Dean Di Laurentis.”

“I didn’t even do anything!” Dean defended.

“He’ll behave.” John promised. “Where are you at for this year?”

“Infield.” You nodded. The awkward attempt at small talk left you feeling out of place. “Yeah, second base mostly.”

“Really?” John’s eyebrows raised as he nodded. “That’s great.”

“I still get some outfield reps but Missa’s got centerfield on lock. Most games are a no-fly zone if she’s out there.”

“You’re holding down your spot though. I’m proud of you.”

That simple sentence made your heart beat harder than it should’ve.

“Yeah, I mean… Some days I DH, just kinda depends on how the glove’s working that week.” You shrugged, rocking slightly on your feet. You watched John’s expression change to one of confusion but you didn’t want to stick around to find out why. “Uh, well, thanks again. We’ve gotta review some film before hitting so I better get going. See you guys tomorrow.”

Dean waved, shouting a goodbye as you left. You didn’t hear anything from John. Part of you wanted to believe Dean was just too loud, but you knew the more likely answer.

John didn’t say anything, just as he had said nothing when you walked out of his room that night.

You got into your car, locked the doors on habit, and pulled out your phone. You texted Missa with a relieved emoji and a thumbs up. As you went to start your car, your car had other ideas.

It stuttered, refusing to turn over and you sighed. You turned the key back off and dropped your head to the steering wheel. Everything was on inside the car, lights and stereo and dash display. You could hear the inner workings of the engine and had already talked to your dad about it. He had an idea and ordered the part for it. Before you could try your key again and use the trick your dad offered, a light tap came from your window. You jumped and shouted “ohmygod!” before turning and seeing John waiting and laughing.

You opened the door and he took it as an invitation to fill the space. He had one arm slung over the door as he leaned against your car.

“Need a ride?” He offered, a smile still on his face.

“No.” You answered plainly. “What makes you say that?”

“The defeated little head drop.” He nodded. “Does it always do that?”

“On warmer days, yeah… My dad already has a plan. We just need the part.”

“You know I can take a look at it for you.”

“I don’t need you to.”

“Yeah, I know but-“

“John.” You cut in. “We’re both too busy. Remember?”

“Definitely remember… That doesn’t mean I can’t give you a hand.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I know, I know… Doesn’t mean I can’t offer, right?”

You looked away to watch your dashboard and focus on your car’s sound as you stepped on the brake and shifted your car to neutral. You turned the key with a silent plea that it would turn over. Thankfully, it did. You threw it back into park and turned back to John.

“See? Car’s fine. I have to go.” You spoke simply.

“Real quick, what did you mean in there when you said ‘if your glove works’?” He asked, those big brown eyes showing a familiar concern.

“I didn’t say that.” You shook your head. “I said it depends on how my glove works.”

“Okay, fine, but your glove always works.”

“Not lately.” You mumbled. “This season’s been rougher than usual. It’s not a big deal.”

“You sure?” His voice was low, a gentle prodding to try and get you to confess more. For a moment, it nearly worked and you almost told him that whenever you put your jersey on and saw your number - his number - your head and heart were yanked out of the game. Half of your plays were auto-pilot and the other half was your teammate saving your ass. “Talk to me, Gorgeous.”

The old nickname made your cheeks feel hot.

“I have to go.” Was all you said instead. You reached past him and tugged lightly on your door.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, clearly not wanting to leave.

“Look at my life.” You gestured vaguely around you. “I got what I wanted.”

Without another word, only a small tap to the roof of your car, he walked away.

—

The next day at the game, you had to stay focused. If Briar could win, they would take first and win the series. It would all but guarantee first place. You owed it to yourself and your teammates to keep your head.

You and Missa led the usual warm-up routine and were throwing together.

“Who’s all coming again?” She asked.

“He said everyone so…” You shrugged.

“There’s a few ‘he’s in that house, Twos.”

Twos. The nickname all your teammates used for you. It was new, only starting this past year when you and John got together and your number changed from 13 to 22.

“John.” You answered as your throw came up short. “Fuck.”

“Hey…” She jogged in to meet you halfway. “Are you gonna be good today?”

“I have to be.” You nodded once towards the other dugout. “I can’t afford to lose it today.”

“Okay, sure, but if you’re not in it, we can ask Coach to DH you today, narrow your focus to your at-bats.”

“I want to play the field.”

“You sure?”

“Trust me.”

“Alright.” She smiled. “Be a dog today, yeah?”

You patted her back and barked once, which got her to bark back, before you two returned to your throwing distance. As you picked up where you left off, one of your coaches was at your shoulder.

“How’s the arm, Twos?” Coach Kelsey asked.

“Feelin’ good.” You nodded.

“Great, cause we need you behind the dish today.”

You nearly dropped the throw coming back to you. “I haven’t caught since-”

“I know it’s been a while but Missa’s in the circle and Alysia’s elbow is done. She needs to be at second for the shortest throws and you work best with Missa. You know the infield plays.”

“Who’s in center? Without Missa, we need speed. Those girls are aggressive at the plate so I want to maintain a no-fly zone.”

“Are you gonna do it or not?” Kelsey asked firmly. “You wanted to be a leader. This, stepping up right now, is part of it.”

“Right.” You nodded once. “My gear’s in the clubhouse.”

“Go get it. Meet Missa in the pen.”

You nodded, waved Missa in, then jogged off the field. When you got to your locker, you pulled your phone first. Immediately, you texted John.

dont sit behind the plate today plz

You didn’t have time to wait for a response. You collected your catcher’s bag then headed back out.

Warm-ups in the pen went well and before you knew it, your team was taking the field. After your throwdown, you met your infield at the circle.

“They’re aggressive on the bases so always work ahead. Annie, you and me on a steal. Let’s talk today, alright? Know where we’re going with the ball.” You hyped everyone up.

“Hell yeah, big dogs. Big dogs.” Missa nodded, giving high fives around the group.

Your infielders each barked accordingly and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Each girl patted your helmet before taking off to their spots.

“First place.” Missa held her glove towards you.

“Challenge ‘em.” You knocked her glove with your own. “Win or lose, make ‘em fucking earn it.”

The first three innings were a stalemate. No one scored, no one reached base. The crowd was loud, voices all blending together into a massive wave of sound. You were thankful you couldn’t hear any specific voice, even if part of you was listening for it.

The game’s momentum began shifting in the top of the fourth. Their lead-off batter struck out, the next batter grounded out to your third baseman, then a double. You moved in front of the plate to call the play and adjust your outfielders. Missa’s eyes met yours with a question of what to throw.

You nodded once towards the grass. Her brows furrowed and you flashed your glove once.

She tilted her head in protest. You wanted her to challenge this hitter to something to draw a play at the plate. The runner on two was fast and was going to try to score, but you knew your left fielder was leading the conference in assists. If anyone was getting that out at the plate for you, it was her.

You nodded once and she relented. As you retook your position, you found a familiar crew in the crowd. A crew that was far too close to home plate.

Jules waved and gestured to the phone that was now pointed at you. Dean and Beau were hollering in the row behind Jules, waving frantically. Garrett and Hannah were beside them, Garrett clapping while Hannah gave a thumbs up. Allie was standing and facing the crowd, trying to rally some sort of chant. Tucker was trying to get Beau off of his head and John was also standing, clapping and nodding towards you. You gave a single nod in his direction before facing the field again.

You called a fastball down and in, and the batter yanked it down the line, exactly where you shifted your outfield. Quickly, you jumped in front of the plate and a few feet up the line. Your mask was discarded into foul territory as you started yelling to align your third baseman for the cut.

“Left! Left!” You floated one step back. “Leave it!”

Your third baseman fell off as the throw came in on a perfect line. You caught it and dropped to a knee in a near perfect spot, leaving a path to the plate. The runner dove in but your knee was already down. Her shoulder hit your leg as the tag was made but her momentum swiped your leg out from under you. As you went down to your back, your other hand reached to secure the ball in your glove.

From the ground, you showed the umpire the ball and he called the out.

“Fucking bitch.” The runner muttered, kicking some dirt in your direction.

The entire crowd and your team erupted in cheers, Missa running over to haul you to your feet.

“What did she say to you?” Missa asked.

“She called me a fucking bitch.” You laughed.

Arguments came from both dugouts as you retrieved your mask. You heard ‘malicious contact’ and ‘unsportsmanlike conduct’ but you shrugged it off, not really sure which side the arguments were coming from.

“Fucking big dawg!” Dean yelled when you looked his way, then he started barking.

Beau and Garrett soon joined in on the barking, making Hannah laugh and whack her boyfriend. John was smiling as Tucker clapped him on the back.

You returned to your dugout, where your own team was waiting with celebrations of their own.

In the bottom of the fourth, you were leading off. You changed out of your gear quickly and were taking swings on deck when you heard the barking again. You closed your eyes and tried not to smile. They had no idea where it started but they were definitely quick to play along. Not long after, your dugout started joining in.

“WHO LET THE DAWG OUT!?” Missa shouted, prompting loud barks from your teammates and your friends in the crowd. “WHO LET THE DAWG OUT!?”

You walked backwards towards the batter’s box to face your dugout. They quieted in anticipation, waiting for your response. You smiled widely and barked twice before hurrying to the box.

The opposing catcher mumbled something but before you could register it, a fastball slammed your ribs. You managed to turn away so it caught the back of your ribcage but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You tossed your bat with a small curse before ditching your elbow guard.

“We eat those! We eat those!” Garrett shouted, nodding and clapping aggressively.

“Put her on the fucking hockey team, dude.” Beau laughed.

“Ow.” You mouthed to John, who offered an apologetic look in response.

“YOU KNOW WHY WE CALL HER TWOS?!” Annie yelled as you made your way down the line.

“WHY!?” Your dugout responded.

“CAUSE SHE LOVES TO BE ON TWO SO SAAAAAAVE YOOOOOUR AAAAAARM!!”

“SAVE YOUR ARM!!”

“SAAAAAAAVE YOUUUUUUUUR AAAAAAARM!!”

“SAVE YOUR ARM!!”

“You good?” Kelsey asked as you met her at first.

You twisted slightly, blinking back the tears in your eyes.

“She fucking got me good.” You laughed a little. “I’ll be alright.”

“22.” The base umpire asked. “Need time?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.” You smiled.

You looked across the field at your other coach in the third base box. He flashed you a quick series of signs that all amounted to one thing. Delayed steal on the second pitch.

You took a short lead on the first pitch, a ball outside and down.

You looked out into the crowd again as you stood back on the base. John was still standing, leaning forward on the back of Jules’ seat as they talked about something. He met your eyes and jerked his head slightly. You looked at second base then back at him. You smiled, adjusting your helmet by the face mask. That was your signal to each other, a way of telling the other ‘Watch this’ during your games. He flashed you that signal often and he always made good on his attempts. Now it was your turn.

On the second pitch, you took a slightly bigger lead. It was a strike, bottom half of the zone, and your teammate stayed in the box, kicking some of the clay around. As soon as the catcher’s arm pulled back to throw the ball to the pitcher, you ran. Ahead of you, you saw the shortstop hustling to beat you to the base but you knew you were going to be safe. You dropped into a slide around the base, twisting to avoid her sweeping glove and get your hand on the bag. As expected, you were called safe.

You faced your dugout first, doing that celebration together. You pointed over to first then circled your wrists to point at the base beneath you. Some of your teammates yelled to take third but you waved them off.

It was Missa up to bat, after all.

The next pitch was smacked into right center, a ringing double that brought you in to score and take the lead. You collected her bat as you yelled praise to her, now taking over your spot on second base, before spinning towards your friends in the crowd.

“First place, baby, let’s fucking go!” Garrett cheered.

“Way to get ahead, fuck yeah!” Dean added.

“Big dog, WOOF!” Beau shouted.

Jules was too busy recording the guys to add anything.

“Way to work, Twos!” John yelled.

You tucked Missa’s bat under your arm and held up two fingers on each hand. You flashed your twos then used both to point at John. He laughed slightly but returned the gesture, your guys’ small scoring celebration.

Your team managed to tack on another run in that inning and held the other team to zero. The fifth inning was scoreless, as was the sixth, but things shifted in the top of the seventh. Missa hit a batter, the one who had called you a bitch prior, and then a well placed bunt got a second runner on. Strikeout, strikeout, then a no doubt three run homerun to left field. Missa came right back with another strikeout, an embarrassing one if you were being honest.

“Everybody on me, come on.” You called your team together. “We have three outs to get at least one run. We can beat them, right now. You guys want that?”

A small chorus of yes came from around the circle.

“I said do you want that!” You urged.

“YES!”

“Let’s fucking do it, then. We have Alysia, Kam, Nicki, then me and Missa. Sounds like hits to me. Get it back and more, let’s go.”

Alysia did her job and got on base. Kam moved her over, but was the first out. Nicki hit a single to put a runner on first and second for when you came up to bat.

Various chants came from your personal cheering section.

The first pitch came up and in, making you spin away and nearly took you off your feet.

That caused a stir among your friends and dugout.

You simply laughed as you stepped back in the box. Next pitch was a ball, down and in. It nearly got your back foot but you stepped out of the way just in time.

“Starting to feel a little personal.” You mumbled, rolling your bat in your hands.

The third pitch you saw was your money pitch, middle height but the outside half of the plate. You connected with the sweet spot of your barrel, sending a rocket down the first base line. The crowd erupted as the ball was called fair.

Alysia scored, Nicki was rounding third, and you were in at second. You wanted to make it a triple but Nicki was too damn slow. The throw was cut off and Nick got back-picked at three. You called for time to remove your elbow guard as you stood on second again.

When it was granted you took off the guard and met Kelsey halfway to leave it with her. As you went back to two, you pulled your helmet off to fix your headband. You also took a second to do your celebration.

You pointed your helmet to the dugout and then drew the other arm back like an archer drawing a bow. Habitually, you looked over to John in the crowd as you replaced your helmet. When he caught your eyes, he did a smaller version of the same celebration.

His celly, you realized when you saw him do the familiar movement. Your double celly was his goal celly.

Well shit.

Two outs, tie game, bottom of the seventh. You could practically hear how Jules would be narrating it. They’d probably be zoomed in on you, talking about how physical the game was for you that day. Or they’d be locked on Missa and how big of a moment that was for her.

First pitch was in the dirt, but blocked well, keeping you in place. Next pitch was fouled straight back and judging by Missa’s reaction, it was one she didn’t want to miss. Third pitch was a called strike, top half of the zone that Missa didn’t agree with. The next pitch, however, was interesting.

It was ruled an illegal pitch, claiming her hands came together after her motion was started, and you advanced to third. When you reached Coach, you had to laugh.

“Y/L/N represents the winning run, just 60 feet away.” You mimicked a commentator’s voice. “What will Coach Tim do?”

He leaned in and turned towards the outfield grass as he spoke to you. “That ball gets by her, you score. Don’t hesitate. Don’t think. Just fucking score.”

You nodded once and focused on the next pitch.

Foul ball. Foul ball. Foul ball. Ball inside. Foul ball. Then it was your chance.

A ball in the dirt kicked away towards your dugout. You broke for the plate immediately, Missa jumping out of the way and yelling for you to slide. You listened and went head first for the plate. Why you went head first, you didn’t know. Usually, you hooked or slid straight into the bag. In truth, the dive knocked some of the wind out and the pitcher who came in to cover the plate stepped on your arm, but you were safe.

You had just won the game for Briar.

As you were celebrating with Missa, the other team asked to challenge. While the umpires reviewed the play, you and Missa leaned against the fencing. Coach came down the line to stand with you two, but you were listening to your friends.

Jules was giving the usual commentary, and you had to commend the knowledge of the game. You assumed Jules only knew hockey.

Garrett was explaining to Hannah and Allie what was going on. Dean was yelling that there was no review, just call it safe and move on. Beau was yelling to stick to the call. Tucker said nothing, but John’s voice sounded closer than it had before.

“Did she tag you?” He asked.

“Never touched me.” You answered without looking at him. “ Stepped on me but…”

You glanced down at your arm and saw the red marks from her cleats on your skin.

“After reviewing the play, the call is confirmed. The runner is safe and the run will score. Ball game.” The umpire announced.

After cleaning up and changing, you and Missa left the locker room together.

“So…” She trailed off. “You and John Logan are back together.”

“No, we’re not.” You laughed.

“That’s not what Fifth Line has to say.” She replied smugly, tilting her phone in your direction. She showed you a post on the account, a video of your double celebration with the caption ‘birds of a feather’.

“Okay.” You pushed her phone away. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Y/N, you did his celebration.” She insisted.

“It’s the same one I did when I threw that runner out.” You reasoned.

“No, the leg was different.”

“The leg?”

“Yes, the leg. Logan does it off one leg, just like you did for your double.”

“I was in stride!”

“When you throw someone out, you do it from your knees and swipe your glove in the dirt. Plus he was cheering for you the whole game.”

“They were cheering for all of us.”

“Fine.” She shrugged. “But they’re not waiting for all of us, are they?”

“No one’s waiting.” You rolled your eyes.

“Y/N!” Tucker yelled and you saw your friend group a few feet away. When they saw you looking, they waved you over.

“Case and point.” Missa sighed contently. “Go get your man, Twos.”

“It’s not gonna be any-“

“Before you get on your soap box.” She cut in. “I talked with Coach. He’s on you too much, more than he has been on any other captain, including me. I told him he had to treat us the same, that he’s only doing it to you cause you were a walk-on and he’s just mad he didn’t recruit you himself.”

“Missa!”

“It’s true.” She defended. “Anyways, he’s gonna pull back on the responsibilities he throws on you. Your schedule’s gonna lighten a little. You’re welcome.”

“I didn’t need you to do that.”

“I know but you’re my co-captain. I’ve got your back, same as you’ve got mine. Now go, be happy. You’ve been shit since you guys broke up anyways.”

“Okay, rude.” You laughed. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Love you, ice those bruises. I’ll see you later.”

You two split and you made your way to your friends. On your approach, Dean and Garrett immediately began barking.

“Big dawg!” Beau announced.

“Why does your team bark at you?” Hannah asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, where did that come from?” John added.

“I got it from my dad. He calls the boys he coaches big dogs or tells them to be a dog. I brought it over here by accident and it just kinda stuck.” You explained.

“I like it.” Allie said.

“You do?” Your brows raised. “Out of all of them, you?”

“It’s fun!”

“You did good today, Y/L/N.” Tucker said, reaching around John to pat your shoulder.

“Thanks.” You smiled.

“Kinda got the shit kicked outta you though.” Garrett commented, which got him elbowed in the ribs by Hannah.

“Yeah.” You laughed, rubbing your ribs. “After that first play at the plate, I had a feeling I’d be a target.”

“Hey, it was a fair play!” Jules defended. “Y/N left a path to plate, even when she had the ball.”

“Respectfully, Jules, how do you know softball?” You laughed a little. You winced slightly, the pain from that fastball to the ribs now kicking in. “I figured with Johnnyboy, you only knew hockey.”

“It was surprisingly easy to pick up, actually. Mr. Lonely over there was obsessing over it when you two got together so he made me learn it, too.”

“Lonely.” Dean sang, throwing an arm over John’s shoulders. You took a step back and tried not to smile. “I’m Mr. Lonely. I have nobody…”

You couldn’t avoid it and laughed, ducking behind Hannah to try and regain your composure.

“Laugh all you want, Y/N.” Garrett added. “That song was all Logan played after you two split.”

“Alright, fuck you guys.” John defended. You managed to stop laughing but the smile still threatened. “It’s a good song.” He shrugged.

“Right, right.” You nodded. “Just weird timing.”

“Exactly! See? She gets it.”

“She always ‘gets it’ with you.” Allie teased.

“Hey, are we gonna stand around here giving Logan shit all night or are we going to celebrate a first place win the right way?” Beau asked.

“I definitely need to shower and change first.” You shook your head. “I’m covered in dirt and I’m fairly certain I swallowed some.”

“Yeah, that dive wasn’t your cleanest.” Tucker nodded, almost regretfully.

“Fuck off, like you could do better.” You defended.

“It’s just like a slip and slide.”

“If you go home, Y/L/N, you’re not coming back out.” Garrett countered before you could continue to argue with Tucker. “I know you. You’re gonna lay on your floor and not get back up.”

“That’s not…” You tried to argue but then realized he was right. You did nap on your floor after games often. “Okay, fair point… Can I least go get clothes to change? Hannah can come with me if you guys don’t trust me.”

“I’ve got an extra shirt in the truck if you want.” John offered. “Just to save you some time…”

You took a moment before answering, thinking about what Missa had said before leaving. Go get your man, Twos.

“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.” You sighed. “I didn’t drive anyways so I was gonna have to bum a ride with someone regardless.”

“Don’t you just love it when things work out?” Jules smiled, guiding you forward with both hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah, funny how that happens, huh?” You gave a pointed look.

The next thing you knew, you and your friends were at Malone’s. Your warm-up shirt was left in John’s truck, leaving you in his t-shirt instead. It was plain, a bit too big for you, but it had the faint smell of his cologne still. It made your heart thump hard in your chest.

You started to think that if you didn’t at least ask about getting back together, your heart would break out of your ribs and wander off.

“Hey.” John nudged you out of your thoughts. You snapped your head up, having zoned out staring at the dirty Shirley Temple in your hands. When you looked over at him, he chuckled slightly. “You still with us? Or did you hit your head today, too?”

“The way today went, I very well could have.” You laughed. “No, I’m fine, just thinking.”

“Oh, yeah?”

You nodded, looking down at the table. Your free hand was tapping slightly against the surface as you considered what to say. Should you tell him the truth? Could you make it through the night if you didn’t? Could you take the rejection if you did? Before you could form a conclusive thought, John’s hand was under your chin to gently lift your attention back to him.

“What about?”

Dear God were you still in love with him.

“You.” You confessed.

“I’m gonna assume that’s a good thing.”

“Can we talk somewhere away from tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and TMZ?” You jerked your head towards Dean and Garrett’s conversation, along with Jules.

John offered you his hand as he scooted out of the booth. You accepted, quickly swallowing the last of your drink, and followed his lead. He took you to the other side of Malone’s, to a quieter booth near the corner. He didn’t sit, just stood in a way that blocked everyone else out. Like he could be some sort of shield and keep you safe.

“What’s going on?” He asked lowly, crossing his arms.

“Look at my life.” You gestured vaguely. “I bet you can’t tell but it’s actually a pretty bad time.”

“No, trust me. I could tell.” He nodded.

“I got what I wanted, softball captain, Starting lineup every game, great grades, great friends… But it doesn’t sit right. Something’s been off until today… Today, I realized something.” You began. “This season, I’ve been shit. My teammates have been picking up my slack and making up for my mistakes but I haven’t been playing like a captain should.”

“Everyone goes through slumps, Y/N. That doesn’t change who you are as a player.”

“Yeah, but this wasn’t just a slump. This has been routine balls being flubbed, embarrassing strikeouts, base running mistakes that kids in Little League don’t even make.”

“I didn’t see any of that today.”

“Exactly.” You nodded, reaching forward to put your hands on his arm. “You. John, I haven’t felt comfortable in my jersey all year, but then you show up today and it’s like… It’s like the game makes sense again.”

“Has nothing to do with me.” He shook his head slightly. “That’s you getting your confidence back. Y/N, that light in your eyes? I don’t remember the last time I saw it. You were alive out there.”

“Can’t I just say that I missed you and I missed seeing you in the stands without you trying to be all sweet and motivational?” You laughed a little and he smiled.

He smiled that stupid smile that made your knees weak, that made you want to kiss his stupid face.

“Everything felt right for the first time in a long time, Johnnyboy.” You said softly. “Even the stupid fucking cellys.”

“I did notice you stole mine.” He joked.

“I figured we share jersey numbers, we can share cellys.”

“I really thought you were gonna push Tim to let you get your old number back.”

“After the fit I threw to get him to change it in general, there was no way I was gonna be able to wear 13 even if I asked.”

“You didn’t?”

“No…”

He chuckled slightly in disbelief before cocking his head slightly. “Why?”

“Can we try again?” You asked suddenly. There were no other thoughts in your head than a blaring siren of “BOYFRIEND!!” as you looked at him. “One more chance.”

“I thought you were too busy.” He countered and it felt like your heart fell to your feet. Your expression must’ve done something similar because John’s hands were suddenly on your cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I am busy and so are you but… But I want to make it work if that’s still what you want.”

As you spent them at your brother’s place soaking up the sun from the backyard. 

Dean didn’t mind it as he enjoyed the freshly cut fruit you brought with you, and the rest of the boys occasionally joined you. 

So today you didn’t think twice when Garrett came out. You flipped your phone over hiding the message from Beau, inevitably talking about how he wished he wasn’t heading to practice because he could have gotten you at his place in that little orange bikini “you got a sec?” Garrett asked as he sat on the fold out chair that was in front of you. 

You nodded as you sat up, reaching for your water bottle “what’s up?” You cocked your head as you looked at him. 

The Graham boy tugged his fingers through his hair “I think that I like Hannah.” His confession surprised you as you knew all about their fake dating scheme. 

But your nerves got the best of you “I mean I’d hope so.” You let out a snort as you slapped your hand over your mouth as your eyes went wide. 

Your cheeks reddened as you mentally cursed yourself “I mean- I think you are coming to ask me how to tell her?” You scratched your jaw as he nodded. 

Garrett had known you since your senior year of High School after you came along to a preseason camp after you were dropped off a week early. The two of you then had a class together and somehow the newfound friendship. 

It obviously helped that you were seeing him at least once a week because of hockey related events “I don’t want to look like an idiot.” His words made your heart break. 

The Garrett you knew had never cared about how a girl made him look, so to have him holding himself back was a lot “for the right girl you’re never gonna look like an idiot.” You shook your head as you sighed. 

It made the boy smile “how’d you do it with your mystery man?” Garrett had been teasing you about it ever since he started realising that you had a cycle of bouquets in your room. 

And when you blushed at a question it became Garretts new favourite joke as he continued to tease you about it “well I made a move when I was drunk so that’s not really a good rule of thumb.” You laughed thinking back to that day. 

You really didn’t know what you would have done, because changing your name and moving to Mexico wasn’t an option “but I think that love is meant to be complex and sometimes a little scary.” You shrugged as you fiddled with your bracelet.

Garrett couldn’t help but smile “when did your lover boy get you all sweet?” His words made your nose scrunch in disgust. 

You gagged “my boyfriend did not make me some love sick puppy you ass!” You whined as you shook your head. 

It made the boy laugh as he threw his head back “and when do we get to meet him?” The boys had met every guy just about that you had dated, you almost felt that Garrett was just as intimidating as your brother. 

So it was suffice to say that you preferred holding them all off for as long as they could handle. 

You shook your head “I think the answer would actually surprise you.” You smiled as you remembered back to how Beau and Garrett sat behind you and Hannah in one of your classes this year. 

Part of you was looking forward to when the boys formally found out about who your boyfriend was. Because you knew you’d be able to laugh once the boys were doing plotting the ways to kill Beau. 

Dean walked out as he grinned “you still mooching off our WiFi?” He teased as he ruffled his fingers through your hair making you groan as you reached up to hit him. 

The blonde laughed sat down next to you “I have been mooching off your backyard space.” You corrected him as Garrett watched the interaction between the two of you. 

Sometimes he had to admit that you two made him envious that you had siblings, and other times you were the very reason why he was glad he didn’t have siblings “what’s going on out here?” Dean asked as he pointed between the two of you. 

Garretts eyes went wide “we were-” “just talking about tonight!” You cut the boy off not trusting what he’d say to your brother. 

Both boys cocked their heads wondering what you were talking about.

Your cheeks turned a warm shade of red “it’s drunken Shakespeare.” You began as Dean cut you off with a laugh. 

The blonde shook his head “we are not going to that.” He announced as Garrett hit the back of his head “c’mon I’m sure it’d be fun.” Garrett nodded in agreement. 

The captain ran his fingers through his hair “and I’m sure Beau would be down for it.” The mention of your boyfriend was purely because he was your brothers favourite drinking buddy. 

But Garrett didn’t miss how your lips formed a smile when you thought about the football player. Of course he wasn’t going to ask about it with Dean stood feet away from him. 

Sure Garrett enjoyed pushing your buttons but if he wasn’t right that Beau was your mystery man, he wasn’t going to announce it to Dean. Especially when your brother would personally see to your death if he found out about the boy in your bed. 

Dean remained oblivious to the silent conversation “fine if Beau goes.” Dean let out a sigh “I will come too.” 

What Dean didn’t know was that Beau was coming along after Allie decided that his attendance was the price of her being the captain of your unfortunately named Di Well ship. 

You nodded as you looked at your watch “shoot I gotta go before Allie kills me.” Since her break up with Sean, you and Hannah had fallen into the position of being her cheerleaders. 

Which also meant that you had eaten your body weight in hot Cheetos, not that you cared that much anyways. 

Dean sighed as you patted the top of his head “bye boys I better be seeing you two tonight!” You cheered as you kissed your hand to the air as you grinned before they waved you off, watching you head back inside.

By the time you got back to your room it felt like a tornado had gone through the apartment “you have to come tonight!” Allie pleaded as you dropped your bag on the floor as you let the door shut behind you.

Hannah’s room appeared to be mainly Allie’s clothing tossed around the floor “I have just had a really stressful day and just want to watch a movie.” You leaned against her doorframe as the drama student scoffed. 

Her eyes brightened when she saw you “tell her that you both have to come tonight!” She pleaded with you as she clenched her fists. 

Hannah wanted to argue but you shook your head “we are best friends.” You announced as you stepped into her room “and that means we are gonna be sat in the front row where we will be once we’ve drank our feelings away.” You motioned to the new bottle of vodka that you had bought for your pregame. 

Allie nodded in agreement “c’mon you guys have eaten through my feelings so now is the time that we gotta drink through them too.” She smiled as Hannah collapsed onto her bed with a huff. 

You cracked a grin as you made eye contact with her “the boys will be there.” You knew over the last few days that Hannah had been mentioning Garrett more but you didn’t want to seem like you were meddling. 

Especially after Beau warned you that it could end up thrown back in your face if you pushed for her to date Garrett if she ended up with Justin. 

You stepped into her room “and besides who is gonna sit and laugh with me when we have to remind this one of her lines.” Allie responded with throwing a pillow at you as you grinned.

It made Hannah laugh as she nodded “we are like your best line buddies like ever.” She looked at Allie as you joined her on her bed.

Allie groaned as she looked between the two of you “you two sit here while I go make us some margaritas!” She clasped her hands together as she realised that she now had the perfect excuse to come along to make her favourite drink.

Hannah turned her attention to you when Allie walked out to the bedroom “you really think Justin is gonna be there?” Hannah cocked her head as you nodded.

Your fingers ran through your hair “Beau got him to help with the whole fruit snatching thing they’ve got going on with Tucker.” You had been the one to eat the kiwi and of course your brother eating his banana was the reason why Tucker was now on an orange. 

It was also the reason why you had somehow been instructed to bring a coconut with you tonight.

Hannah let out a laugh “and Garrett?” You had to mask the fact that you were mentally cheering at the thought of Hannah thinking about him “he is coming because the boys are all coming.” 

Allies voice cut through the walls “I’m hearing a lot of talking and not about what you are wearing tonight!” Her complaint made you giggle “I thought I looked cute!” You shot back in a teasing tone. 

The brunette walked back with a lime in one hand and a knife in the other “you could wear a bin bag and still look cute.” She announced as she ran her tongue over her teeth.

Her eyes landed on this red top she had been trying to convince you to wear for months. Allie was convinced that it was actually made for your body “but I would be able to remember my lines a lot better if this was in the crowd.” 

Her smirk was almost dangerous “don’t make me pull the sad card because you know I will.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you looked at Hannah. 

Somehow this was turning into a thing between all three of you “you gonna wear those boots then?” You had these knee high boots that you had been trying to get onto Hannah for weeks. 

Hannah got up as she nodded “now are we gonna play a little music or just stand here in silence?” Her playlist was always hooked up on her laptop as she pressed play. 

The sounds of the mixed playlist that all of you had created deciding that the perfect tunes list for your apartment had to come from all three of you. 

As Madonna echoed against the walls of the apartment, the three of you were almost done getting ready for the night “you know you’re gonna smash it tonight.” You placed your hands on Allies shoulders as you gave them a squeeze. 

The comforting gesture made her smile as she nodded “you too Han.” You grinned as the girl scoffed “she’s the one getting on stage tonight.” 

Allie put down her blush brush as she pointed at Hannah “we are all gonna have the night of our lives.” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively to the two of you. 

You shook your head “oh please you have two boys fighting for your attention.” Allie began by talking to Hannah before she turned her attention to you “and you have a boyfriend who just about worships the ground you walk on.” 

She finished by looking back in the mirror “and I am about to complete my first show with no Sean proving that he was wrong about me!” You raised your glass to that one as you pulled both girls into a hug. 

They were quick to return the gesture “we gonna do a girls night before thanksgiving?” The words slipped from your lips as you looked to your calendar seeing that the break was merely three weeks away. 

It earned an immediate nod from the girls “you think you can keep your boy away from ya for that long?” Allie teased as your cheeks turned red. 

You playfully rolled your eyes “I’ll tell him Dean is here and he won’t say nothing.” You joked back not noticing how Allie tensed at the mention of your brother. 

So the real question was, how long was it going to be until Hannah found out that you had a favourite between the two guys she liked? You found out that Allie and Dean were starting to find a connection of their own that didn’t involve you? And Dean finding out that Beau and you were dating?

Despite the fact that the apartment felt so strong, it seemed like it could only last so long with all of this bubbling beneath the surface. 

The second you and Beau walk into Tucker and Sabrina’s place, you already know it is going to be loud in the exact way that makes your head hurt and your chest feel weirdly full at the same time.

And This happens every week, dinner with the group was a tradition at this point, and this time it was Tuckers and Sabrinas time to host.

Which meant there were toys scattered around the living room, Tucker shouting from somewhere in the kitchen probably acting like Gordon Ramsey on timer, and Sabrina already sounding exhausted before dinner had even started.

“Take your shoes off,” Sabrina called the second she saw you. “Jamie just learned how to lick under furniture and I don’t know what she’s licking anymore.”

You took your shoes off while Beau helped you with the coat, ever since he got drafted at NFL your visit to these dinners have been limited, so you both were so excited to see your friend again and share some news.

First thing you did was go and wash your hands in the bathroom so you could hug little Jamie, she was adorable little girl who loved dolls so you always knew to get LOTS of them for her, Tucker always got mad but seeing smile on his daughter’s face always warmed his heart. You could see Jamie sitting at her tiny table in the corner, happily eating pieces of fruit while babbling to herself.

The second she spotted you, her face lit up.

“Auntie!”

You crouched down and opened your arms just in time for her to throw herself at you.

“Hi, baby.”

Jamie wrapped her little arms around your neck, giggling when you kissed her cheek.

“You bring present?”

“Of course I did, don’t tell your father.”

After a few more minutes of Jamie proudly showing off her dolls and demanding attention from Beau, she became distracted by her new toy and wandered off, leaving the adults to settle into their usual spots around the house.

That gave you a chance to properly greet everyone. You hugged Hannah first. Allie was next, then Grace, the three of them immediately asking questions about your recent travels with Beau now that football season had finally slowed down enough for him to breathe.

Garrett greeted you with a quick hug and a warm smile. Logan squeezed your shoulder when you hugged him.

Then there was Dean…

“Where's my hug?” he demanded before you even reached him. You rolled your eyes but hugged him anyway. After saying hi to everyone in the living room, you headed toward the kitchen where the actual hosts of the night were.

Or, more accurately, where Tucker was doing all the work while Sabrina pretended she was helping.

The second you walked through the doorway, Tucker looked up from the stove.

“There she is.”

You smiled.

“Hi, Tuck.”

Before he could answer, you walked over and wrapped your arms around him. Tucker immediately hugged you back. You moved over to hug Sabrina next She smiled when she saw you coming. You’d always loved Sabrina. She was blunt, stubborn, terrifying when necessary, and somehow one of the most caring people in the room. You kissed her cheek before heading back toward the living room.

Beau was sitting on the couch between Dean and Logan, which looked about as relaxing as it sounded. Beau looked like he'd already tuned out half the conversation. The second he saw you walking over, his arm lifted automatically across the back of the couch. Eventually you found yourself sitting with Hannah, Allie and Grace while the guys argued about something completely pointless.

Again.

"So how’s NFL life?" Grace asked.

"Do you want the honest answer?"

"Always."

"I miss having a normal schedule."

Hannah nodded immediately.

"I remember Garrett's hockey seasons."

Garrett overheard from across the room.

"They weren't that bad."

"They were awful."

You smiled, listening to them go back and forth. The conversation continued easily for a while, everyone catching up and laughing as the guys argued over something completely ridiculous in the background. Eventually Jamie wandered back into the living room rubbing her eyes, one of her dolls dragging behind her.

Sabrina immediately stood up.

"Okay, that's my cue."

Jamie reached for her mother without protest, already half asleep.

"Night, everyone," Sabrina said as she carried her upstairs.

A chorus of goodnights followed them.

While Sabrina handled bedtime, Tucker finished dinner, insisting he didn't need help despite Garrett offering twice and Dean trying to steal food before it was ready. A little while later Sabrina came back downstairs just as Tucker carried the last dish to the dining room table.

"Food's ready," he announced proudly.

Everyone got up from their spots and slowly made their way to the table.

As conversations picked back up around the table and dishes started getting passed around, you exchanged a small glance with Beau. It was going perfectly. Everyone was talking, laughing, passing dishes around the table and catching up on everything they'd missed over the last few weeks.

Then Dean stood up.

"So who wants wine?"

Immediately, almost every hand at the table went up. He grabbed a few bottles from the counter and started making his way around the table.

And when Dean got to you.

You just smiled and said "No thanks."

Dean paused, face scrunching like you killed his best friend.

"...No thanks?"

"Yeah."

"You?"

"Yes, Dean."

He stared.

"You never say no to wine, we were supposed to be alcoholics im this group, what happened to you.” He asked with confusion.

You just laughed at his dramatics, “Nothing happened Dean, im just not drinking tonight.”

He just stood there holding the bottle, staring at you. Like you'd kick him.

"You're sick."

"What?"

"You're sick."

"I'm not sick."

"You have to be sick."

"Dean."

"Food poisoning?"

"No."

"The flu?"

"No."

"Rabies?"

You stared at him with confusion on your face. "Rabies?"

"You never know."

Allie smacked his arm.

"Sit down."

"No. Something's wrong, Beau what did you do to her?”

Allie smacked Dean’s arm again before he could spiral further.

“Sit down.”

“No. Something is wrong. Beau, what did you do to her?”

Beau finally looked up from his plate, completely relaxed.

“What makes you think I did something?”

“Because she’s acting weird,” Dean said, pointing at you like he was presenting evidence in court.

“I’m literally just eating dinner,” you said without looking up.

“You turned down wine, It’s fucking weird.”

Tucker sighed from the other end of the table. “He’s been doing this all night. If you ignore him he will shut up.”

“Wow thanks guys.” Dean muttered while rolling his eyes as he sat down again.

The table drifted back into noise again, everyone settling into their usual overlapping conversations. Forks clinked, someone laughed too loud, Tucker talked with Garrett about training.

So nobody noticed when you leaned sideways.

Beau’s plate was right there in front of him, half full, close enough that it was easy. He was mid conversation with Logan, not paying attention at all when you reached over and took a bite straight from his plate like it belonged to you.

Beau stopped talking mid sentence. Slowly turned his head toward you. And instead of being annoyed, his expression just shifted into something amused.

“You didn’t even ask,” he said.

“It’s good.”

Beau let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head like you were ridiculous in the most familiar way.

“Yeah, I know.”

You took another bite like you had every right to be there, like this had somehow always been the arrangement. In fact, after a second, he slid his plate a little closer to you without even being asked, as if deciding that if you were going to do it anyway, he might as well make it easier. Then, almost naturally, you shifted your plate toward him too, trading them without ceremony. Beau glanced down at it. Then back at you. A faint smile pulled at his mouth.

“Alright,” he said simply, like it made perfect sense.

He just started eating your plate without hesitation while you kept his. Across the table, Dean was still talking loudly about something nobody was listening to, waving his hands around as usual. Tucker was laughing at him. Garrett looked tired. Logan was trying not to get dragged into it.

Life kept going around the table the same way it always did.

You reached over your plate, mixing together the last of Beau’s food with your own, then added a piece of dessert from the middle of the table. Same fork. No hesitation. Like your taste buds had started making decisions without consulting your brain.

Beau leaned back slightly in his chair, watching you with that calm, amused expression he’d been wearing all night, like you were the only interesting thing happening in the room. He nudged his drink closer when you reached for it without looking.

Dean, unfortunately, saw everything.

He stopped mid sentence.

“…what is she doing now?”

Allie didn’t even glance up. “Eating.”

“No,” Dean said slowly, pointing. “That is not eating. That’s like mixing chemicals.”

Tucker waved him off. “She’s fine, Dean.”

“She is combining chocolate cake with mashed potatoes.”

“That sounds so disgusting ,” Grace admitted.

“Its so good actually,” you said simply, still eating like it was the most normal thing in the world. That made the table pause for half a second.

Dean narrowed his eyes. “That’s not a normal thing people say.”

You finally looked up at him, completely calm, fork still in hand.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words landed in the middle of the table like someone had pressed pause on the entire room. People suddenly leaning forward, smiling, talking over each other at once.

“Oh my God, that explains everything,” someone said.

“The food thing makes so much sense now.”

Beau just leaned back in his chair, smiling like he’d been waiting for everyone else to catch up.

Dean, still processing, looked between you and Beau like the puzzle had finally solved itself.

“…so I was kind of right,” he muttered.

“Unfortunately,” Logan said.

You laughed into your hand, shaking your head while Beau reached under the table and squeezed your knee gently, like a quiet confirmation that this was real, that this was happening, that everyone you loved was right here reacting exactly the way they should.

The noise around the table only grew louder after that, questions overlapping with congratulations and jokes and someone already talking about baby names like they had not just been blindsided five seconds ago. The questions started almost immediately.

"How far along are you?"

"Almost fourteen weeks."

"Oh my God," Grace breathed. "You've been hiding this for fourteen weeks?"

"We wanted to wait a little."

"Fourteen weeks is not a little," Allie informed you.

You shrugged, "We were busy.”

The girls immediately started talking over each other. Then Hannah looked directly at you.

"Wait. Have you had cravings?"

"Unfortunately."

The girls immediately perked up.

"What kind?"

You pointed at your plate.

"Apparently this."

Grace looked down at the mixture of food still sitting there.

"Righttt, that’s why you’re eating…that.”

Then Allie grinned.

"Okay, but the important question."

"Has Beau been good?"

The second the question left her mouth, every girl's attention shifted toward Beau.

Beau looked up from his plate.

"What?"

"Answer the question."

Beau immediately looked offended.

"Of course I've been good."

The girls were already staring at you expectantly.

You couldn't stop smiling.

"Three weeks ago I woke up at two in the morning because I wanted an Erewhon smoothie."

The table groaned immediately. Hannah was already laughing.

"What did you do?"

You pointed at Beau.

"He drove almost five hours at two in the morning and brought me 4 smoothies.” You said getting emotional now. Hormones.

Grace dropped her fork.

"Five hours?"

You nodded, already smiling.

"I woke up in the middle of the night and for some reason I could not stop thinking about this Erewhon smoothie. I tried going back to sleep, I tried ignoring it, but it just kept getting worse. At some point I got so frustrated that I started crying."

"That is the most pregnant thing I've ever heard." Sabrina laughed.

"It gets worse," you said, laughing too. "I was literally sitting in bed crying about a smoothie and Beau woke up. He spent twenty minutes trying to convince me that I'd survive until morning, but apparently I looked so pathetic that he eventually gave up."

"I did not say pathetic," Beau muttered beside you.

"You were thinking it."

"So I fell asleep and when I woke up the next morning he was gone. I thought he'd gone to training or something, but then he came back carrying four smoothies because he wasn't sure which one I'd actually wanted."

A collective groan went around the table.

You felt your eyes sting a little more just remembering it.

"Oh no," Allie said immediately.

"What?"

"You're getting emotional."

"I'm literally fine."

Your voice cracked halfway through the sentence. The entire table burst out laughing. You dropped your head into Beau's shoulder.

"This is so embarrassing."

Beau just laughed quietly and wrapped an arm around you.

You stared toward the kitchen.

“…Sabrina.”

Sabrina looked up.

“What?”

“Do you still have that chocolate cheesecake?”

A grin immediately spread across Sabrina’s face.

“Yes.”

You looked at Beau. Trying to give him your best puppy eyes you could muster.

Beau was already pushing his chair back.

“I’ll get it.”

Dean threw both hands in the air.

“There he goes!”

“You didn’t even ask him,” Grace laughed.

“I didn’t have to.”

Beau leaned down and kissed the top of your head before heading toward the kitchen. You watched Beau disappear into the kitchen and couldn’t stop smiling. A minute later he came back carrying not one slice of cheesecake.

But Three.

“You don’t know which one you’ll want,” he said, setting them down in front of you.

The entire table groaned.

“Dude you’re her bitch now,” Garrett informed him.

Beau looked at you happily stealing a bite before he’d even sat down.

“I know.”

“I thought you said this was going to be easy.” Dean whispers. You stare at the fake plastics babies at the front of the class.

“Apparently, I was lied to.” You say under your breath.

“I’ll give you the luxury of choosing your own partner, considering that’s generally how it works in procreation.” The professor says. A weak wave of laughter rolls through the classroom. Dean grabs your chair pulling you closer to him, if that’s even possible.

“Got my baby mama!” He announces to the class.

The first few days aren’t so bad, your fake baby, who Dean has affectionately given the name Deana doesn’t cry too often and when she does you just stick the key in her back and get her to stop. It’s nothing like a real baby.

“Babe, I have an exam today I can’t take her with me.” You say, grabbing your bag and heading down the stairs.

“I have practice!” Dean says. Garrett rolls his eyes.

“No he doesn’t, it’s media day, he can stick it in his locker and get it if it alarms.” Garrett says referring to the plastic baby like a bomb.

“I thought media day was tomorrow?” Dean says. “On Thursday?”

“Dude. It is Thursday.” Garrett says patting him on the shoulder. Dean thinks for a second.

“Huh.” He says. “Okay I can take her.” He says, you sigh handing him over the fake baby.

“Please don’t do anything stupid, and don’t shake her, it has a monitor in there.” You say.

“Are you questioning my parenting abilities?” He asks feigning offense. You stare at him.

“Dean, you forgot what day of the week it was. Yes I’m questioning your parenting abilities. In fact I’m questioning your self care abilities.” You say exasperatedly. You turn to Garrett, “is it actually safe to leave him unsupervised?”

“Jury’s still out.” Garrett says. You laugh, pressing a kiss to Dean’s cheek before heading to your exam.

The exam goes well. Your day has been going great actually until you get a text from Dean.

Dean 💙🏒: so, hypothetically how mad would you be if I lost the baby???

You:

Dean 💙🏒: that seems like pretty mad…

You: please tell me you’re joking 🙃

Dean 💙🏒: …

You meet Dean outside of the rink.

“Are you serious right now!” You shriek, worried about your grade.

“I’m sure she’ll turn up.” Dean shrugs.

“You lost the baby!” You exclaim, causing a few students to turn their heads your way.

“It’s a fake baby!” Dean reasons.

“That is not the point!” You say face palming yourself.

Your phone dings at the exact time Dean’s does.

Hannah 🎶: attachment: 1 image

You open the text to see your fake baby riding in the back of Garrett’s Jeep.

Dean 💙🏒: for the love of God, put her seatbelt on

You: oh thank goodness, I was afraid she was gone for good

Garrett 🏒: I’m reporting you to the Department of Fake Family Services.

Dean 💙🏒: you can’t take her from us she’s the light of my life! 😫

You: for real though can you bring the baby back I don’t want to fail this class 🤣

Garrett 🏒: She’s thriving. You’re just jealous she prefers her cooler god-parents.

Hannah🎶: We’ll return her after ice cream.

You: She is made of plastic, Hannah.

Your phone buzzes against the wood of the desk in your room just as you finally sit down to start writing your assignment. The screen flashes with a notification that you could probably guess without looking. 

You would swear Garrett has a sixth sense when it comes to texting you the second you actually try to be productive. Now on the upswing of his concussion recovery, he was functioning more than before, but he was still attached to your hip (at no complaint for you). 

--

--

For a moment, the thought of finishing the essay crosses your mind. The deadline is around the corner… and with a week full of classes, hockey games, and social events, you really should stay home. 

A smile pulls at your mouth. The car keys are in your hand before you even realize you’ve made the decision. Then you’re in a drive-thru spitting out orders with unconscious practice, taking the nearly full 4 bags of food that you’re given in return.

Habits.

The boys were at least nice enough to leave you a spot in the driveway behind Garrett’s Jeep. Grabbing the food from the passenger seat, you shuffle up to the porch and practically kick the door after managing to turn the knob enough to open it. The front door isn’t locked. It never is, even though you’ve harassed the boys multiple times about it.

Dean’s voice is immediately filling the space. “Thank God!”

You glance at him from where he’s hopping over the back of the couch. His eyes narrow on the bags of food in your hands, and he doesn’t hesitate to rip into them without any permission.

“Sure, Dean. Please eat the food that I haven’t even offered to you.”

“Consider it your portion of the lease,” He manages out between massive bites. You don’t even try to hide the disgust on your face at his eating habits.

Garrett rounds the corner from the stairs a second later. He takes one look at Dean and shakes his head, moving closer to place a kiss on your forehead. “There you are.”

You roll your eyes, unconsciously leaning into the heat that practically radiates off of him. The way his palm lingers on your waist for a second longer than normal. “I was literally driving.”

Garrett reaches into another bag and grabs whatever he deems good enough to eat. It doesn’t take long before Logan and Tucker catch the smell upstairs, and soon, all four boys have nearly devoured every inch of the contents in the bags. 

Minus the chicken bites that they save for you. Garrett slides them over absent-mindedly.

“Wow, thanks,” You mumble sarcastically, but there’s really no weight to it. You’ve watched them do this too many times to be surprised by now.

“You’re an angel,” Logan practically moans as he bites into a burger. “God, this is so good.”

“You literally called me a menace yesterday.”

Logan waves his hand in dismissal. ”Bygones.”

You shake your head and start grabbing the empty wrappers to shove in the garbage. There isn’t a specific moment that you can recall when this faded into your version of normalcy, but you had no complaints. It’s all easy, effortless. The kind of connection and relationship that the rest of the campus doesn’t really see. 

At some point, half your belongings ended up scattered between the main parts of the house and Garrett’s room. Your shampoo and conditioner had their open spot in his bathroom (not the shared one, of course, because it was practically a biohazard). Laundry was a mix of your clothes and his. Your chargers lined his side table.

Afternoon fades to evening as you guys settle on the couches to watch a movie. There are no assigned seats, but you all fall into your normal spots, and blankets are thrown in various directions. Garrett shrugs off his hoodie before taking the cushion next to you in the loveseat. 

You grumble in annoyance as he practically shoves you into the armrest. You pin him with a glare. “Comfy?”

The smug grin on his face is annoying, but he doesn’t say anything before he’s rearranging you against him. Garrett takes up most of the loveseat and settles you into his side. Your legs are pulled over his thighs, your back against the armrest so you can lean into his shoulder and still see the TV. 

The hoodie he hands you is still warm when you pull it on. His cologne fills your senses, and you unconsciously pull the neckline further over your face. Garrett’s arm rests against your back, holding you against him closely. You could cry from how intimate and full it made you feel. 

You loved your friends, but you’d never felt comfortable having such a physical relationship with anyone other than Garrett. He just knew where to hold you, where to avoid, and how to make you feel protected in everything he did. Nobody stood a chance against him.

The room around you fades into the background. At some point, Allie comes over to pester Dean. Tucker and Logan are fully engrossed in the movie. Someone laughs at a joke you don’t really hear.

You’re looking at Garrett for much, much longer than you should. Long enough, you notice the exhaustion softening his features, so you think of every version of him you’ve known. 

The eighteen-year-old who couldn’t keep his mouth shut in class. The twelve-year-old who practically carried you home when you busted your knee on the concrete. Or the fifteen-year-old who teased you when you had a bad day.

The ten-year-old who admitted to you that his dad was more aggressive than he ever should’ve been. The one who cried in your bedroom so hard that you cried with him, holding him close until you both fell asleep on the carpet in each other’s arms. 

The best friend who somehow became the center of your life without either of you realizing it. The thought settles heavily in your chest, next to that achy feeling you didn’t quite forget from seeing him with Hannah. 

A notification on your phone finally tugs you from your daydream and back to the horrible, gut-wrenching reality you thought you’d escaped.

--

Casually, then completely unavoidable.

It was Dean who said this one first. 

You were reorganising the boys fridge one night after he turned the takeout containers into a game of tetris “relax mom.” It made Logan laugh as he didn’t look up from his phone while he sat at the kitchen counter. 

He claimed he was there as moral support, but it was really because he just wanted to be near you “don’t encourage her.” He warned “she gets worse when shes stressed.” 

His words were met with a gasp “excuse me?” You scowled letting your mouth fall open when you turned to glare at him. 

Tucker grinned as he stole the chicken wings from your hands “careful dad, mom might get ya.” And somehow it just stuck. 

Mom and Dad. You and Logan. 

It wasn’t even meant to be the case at first but somewhere along the way, the two of you became the glue that kept everyone together. 

Logan kept track of the practice schedule and ensured that everyone ate the food that Tucker cooked.  

You kept a list of everyone’s birthdays, deadlines, arguments, and who wasn’t talking to whom.

Logan calmed the chaos, and you seemed to organise it. And somehow the two of you worked perfectly together. 

So of course, the jokes kept on coming. 

“Ask mom if I can go out.” Dean would say as he peered into the living room where you read a book, “Logan said no.” You knew all about the house arrest Logan had Dean on because he needed to study for a major midterm. 

Your brother huffed as he sprawled out on the couch, resting his feet on your lap “hey!” You scoffed, watching him grab a carrot stick from your plate, “your boyfriend is being dramatic again.” His words came as he stuck his tongue out at you. 

The sound of Logan complaining about the blocked shower drain travelled down the stairs. And Garrett was surprisingly calm about it, which was saying something as he’d once sworn that Logan wouldn’t live long enough to graduate if he dated you. 

Now he just complained like Logan was already a part of the family. 

Which in a way, now that your dad didn’t totally hate the idea, he was. 

Except lately, you couldn’t laugh at it the same way. 

Because something had shifted and only you knew why. 

It all happened three weeks ago. 

You were standing in your bathroom, staring at the sink as if it had personally betrayed you.

Two pink lines and those words you hated so much to see. 

You were pregnant. 

And the world did not stop. That was the most terrifying part. It just kept on going. 

Outside of that room, Hannah was laughing at something on her laptop while Allie was humming as she got ready for class. Someone could even be heard yelling in the hallway about how they needed coffee. 

Normal life kept on going on, while yours had just split into two. 

You pressed your hand to your stomach instinctively; it was still flat and still normal. 

Nothing looked different about you, yet everything was.

You were meant to see the boys later that day for lunch and you had no clue how to tell them. 

Garrett took so long to accept that Logan was your boyfriend, but this was a different ballpark. 

And Logan loved you like you were something delicate that he had to protect. 

You were terrified that this would break that. 

Logan on the other hand, was feeling like an idiot. 

He was ready to marry you, as if you asked him to go to Vegas tomorrow to do it he would. 

But it felt like you were ready to break up with him.

So rather than talking about it, he picked up whatever he could. Odd jobs to fill the time that he wasn’t spending with you. 

And for the most part, that really did work. He was able to make himself so busy that there wasn’t time during the day to think about what you might have been doing that didn’t involve him. 

But at night?”

That was a whole different story. 

He’d park his truck outside your building and send you a text begging to let him come up. He knew he could ask Allie or Hannah to let him in, but he wasn’t going to go against your boundaries like that. If you didn’t want to talk to him, well, he was convincing himself that he was okay with that.

So instead, he would hide away in his room, scrolling through the album on his phone of the two of you that you organised one day while he studied. 

It had everything from the time the two of you used to sneak around before anyone knew you were seeing each other. All the way to when Dean and Tucker would crash your couple pictures, swearing that ‘your kids’ have to be in them too. 

It made him laugh, honestly remembering how you’d shoo the boys away so that Allie could get a decent picture. Then Logan got to the one that Hannah took. 

It was from a party after a big win when the couples were playing each other in beer pong, despite the fact that Garrett swore he should be the one to play with his sister. 

Logan’s arm was wrapped around your waist as you had your tongue out, trying to focus on the throw. All the boy was focused on, both now and then, was you. 

Hannah couldn’t help it when her eyes stayed glued to the sight “I know Wellsy, he loves her more than he loves hockey.” Garrett’s voice was louder than he intended it to be as he spoke. 

The words made your cheeks redden as Logan tightened his grip on you “no I don’t.” He shook his head, convincing nobody, as his eyes were still on you. 

Garrett let out a dry laugh “I’m pretty sure she could ask you to drop hockey and move to Vermont to become tree farmers, and you’d do it.” Logan couldn’t argue with that because it was actually true. 

That boy was ready to move to the end of the world for you if you asked him to. 

You furrowed your eyebrows “that's not true.” You mumbled, finally turning your attention back to your boyfriend. Your eyes settle onto his lips “we’d totally farm goats.” Your words made everyone laugh as you kissed Logan. 

It earned a groan from Garrett with a complaint for you to just throw the ball. And all you did was flip him off in response.

The day when you knew you could no longer hide it from Logan came; it was gameday and also your one-year anniversary. 

After the game, the two of you had plans to go out, but with the way you had been acting. Logan honestly wondered if you were even going to be at the game. 

That was how Garrett ended up at your door. 

Well more like in your room.

Because that’s where you found your brother sat, comfortably on your bed when you came back from getting a smoothie with Allie “oh please make yourself at home.” You grumbled letting your bag drop to the floor. 

Your brother couldn’t help it when he let out a soft laugh “look are you okay?” The question made your eyes widen. 

Because you were so clearly not okay “I’m perfect Gar.” You forced the lie out as you sat on your chair. 

“No you’re not.” 

You rolled your eyes “why’d you ask me if you already knew the answer?” You sucked at your teeth crossing your arms in the process “you’ve been avoiding your boyfriend.” The point made you feel nauseous all over again. 

Garrett saw your reaction. It was like his little twinstinct to know exactly when your slight movement meant something so much worse “if he did something-” he was already getting up ready to march back to the house.

You were quick to press your hand into his chest, stopping him from leaving your room “he didn’t do anything I swear.” As much as you loved your brother, you knew that if he could. You’d be wrapped in bubble wrap and hidden away from the world. And even then he’d still worry himself sick over protecting you.

Garrett leaned against your table “then what is going on with you?” He knew that your dad had been blowing up both of your phones to meet his fiance but Garrett knew you ignored him in the best of times, so why would this affect you now. 

Staring at the ground, you frowned, “I need to tell Logan first.” If you could have it your way you’d never tell your brother, and just say you fund your child on the street.

You couldn’t help it when you sighed, pulling your brother into a hug that usually made you feel better “I just need to find the right time.” You knew your answer didn’t make sense but when you were going with it. 

Garrett nodded, not because he wanted to believe you but because he knew he had no choice in the matter “but please tell him before he eats himself up over something that isn’t his fault.” You wanted to point out that your boyfriend was in fact the exact reason why you were in this position. 

But you couldn’t so instead you nodded “I promise I’ll tell him after the game tonight.” You nodded, forcing a smile onto your lips when your brother kissed your head.

The game should have been an easy win. A game where they could have put up a B team and still won by 3 goals. But instead, it was an utter shitshow.

Logan spotted you in the crowd immediately; he always did the moment he stepped onto the ice. But tonight it seemed that once he knew you were there, he actually didn’t want to see you. He got into a fight, was thrown against the boards and spent more time in the penalty box than actual time on the ice as the coach pulled him off, seeing that his head wasn’t in the right place. 

Garrett actually pitied his teammate; he never thought there’d be a day when he thought you were in the wrong and that whatever issues you two were having would be your doing. 

So when you saw the look your brother gave you at the end of the game, you knew you were to stand by Logan’s truck waiting for him as the game ended. Or else Garrett would get involved, and quite frankly, nothing ever went well when he did. 

And that was exactly where Logan found you after the game “I’ll see you guys later.” He announced, no longer looking at Dean or Tucker; instead, his eyes had settled on you. 

You sent him a soft smile as the boys waved at you “hey.” Your voice was quiet as your boyfriend threw his bag into the back of his truck. 

He remained silent, “look we need to talk.” Your announcement almost made him laugh. 

Because how was it that you got to decide that tonight was when you’d finally talk “nice to know that my girlfriend still knows how to do that.” The comment came off harsher than it was intended to. 

The boy sucked at his teeth when you reached for him “look I know I have been an ass-“ Logan had to admit he was glad you had more emotional awareness than your brother “it’s our one-year anniversary and I didn’t even know if I still had a girlfriend!”

You wanted to respond, you really did. But you felt your stomach churn, and suddenly you were bent over in the direction of the nearest bushes.

Instinctively, he reached for your hair, pulling it out of your face as he rubbed your back “you eat something bad today?” Logan cocked his head, knowing that it wasn’t like you to throw up. 

You spat out a glob of spit as you shook your head “it’s what I wanted to tell you about.” You groaned, feeling your stomach churn again. 

To his credit, Logan didn’t push until you were standing upright again “I wanted to have some speech, but that clearly isn’t gonna happen.” you brought your sleeve up to wipe your mouth, not caring that you’d regret it later.

“I’m pregnant.” 

Your words made him freeze as his eyes went wide “we’ve been careful.” He spoke as if his word was gospel. 

Your cheeks reddened at the memory, “not always.” Your eyes trailed back to the truck. It was a night where both your place and his were busy and the two of you just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. So you figured that his car was the best place for the two of you to be.

Logan frowned as he furrowed his eyebrows “this is what you’ve been avoiding me for?” He realised as he shoved his hands into his pockets, “did you think I’d leave you?” 

He wasn’t angry. 

He was hurt. 

Hurt that you would think that he’d leave you, and especially hurt that you thought he’d make you deal with this alone.

But you shook your head as tears welled in your eyes, “i thought you’d hate me.” Your voice broke as it broke something in him. 

He hated seeing you sad “hate you?” His voice broke as his hands cupped your cheeks “are you actually insane?” He would have laughed if you weren’t upset.

That was the thing that broke you. Finally, tears streamed down your cheeks and Logan didn’t think twice about pulling you into his embrace “I’m scared.” Your confession made his heart break as he could only think about how long you had been dealing with that emotion alone. 

His fingers ran through your hair, immediately soothing you “we will figure this out together, okay.” His words made you nod as you looked up at him. 

His eyes didn’t hesitate to meet yours. 

He was still him. 

He was still yours. 

And just like that Logan let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding “I thought you were leaving me.” It made your heart hurt that he could have thought that it was the issue. 

You shook your head “I thought I was ruining your life.” You whispered back. 

Just like that, his expression changed. It changed into something solid, yet protective in a way that made your knees weak “you are not ruining my life.” He said firmly, “you’re my life.” His words were easy to roll off his tongue as if he hadn’t said the one thing that finally made the last few weeks feel like they were nothing. 

So the two of you stood there in silence as his hand rubbed slow circles on your back before his tired laugh finally broke it “I’m gonna be a dad.” You nodded, matching his tone “we’re gonna be parents.” He grabbed your hand, giving it a solid squeeze. 

Before his face dropped, “your brother is actually going to kill me.” His words made you really laugh now, that was something you realised a while ago. 

Logan guided you into the passenger seat of his car before he made his way to his own “you know,” you trailed off when he put the key into the ignition. 

You leaned over to kiss his lips “we could always just become goat farmers in Vermont.” 

Six months of intensely and unnecessarily dramatic pining later and you're staying the night at Steve's place more often than not. He's kissing you and touching you in ways previously off-limits. He's bringing you flowers and cooking you dinner and it's all so weird.

Because you still do all the same things you did when you weren't dating. He still drives you to and from work because you're too scared to get your license. He still makes you drench his popcorn in parmesan cheese before he'll eat it and he still tackles you to the floor when you play spoons with the rest of your friends.

But now you go home together afterward. You get ready for bed in the same bathroom and share each other's bodywash so you can always smell like the other when they're not around. You eat meals together and and climb under the same covers at night.

It's perfect.

It's everything you've spent the last five years doing and more.

And you think you might love him.

Tonight is another one of those perfectly strange moments. You're standing in nothing but his shirt and your underwear, rummaging around the clothes that live in his spare dresser drawer.

Steve's been in the bathroom for ten minutes. He insists on shaving at night before bed– instead of in the morning before leaving the house.

"It gives me the perfect amount of stubble when I wake up in the morning if I do it the night before!" He once explained to you when you'd questioned him about it.

"Baby, have you seen my aftershave?" He now yells from the sink of his ensuite.

Your heart kind of stops. He's never called you that before.

He's literally only ever called you your name. Or nickname adjacent variations of your name. Even after you started dating.

He says it now, in fact, after you don't answer him for a few moments.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asks when he sees your face.

"What did you just call me?" You ask, seemingly struggling to maintain eye contact. You're not totally sure why.

"...baby? Is that...not...?"

"Ew!" Admittedly not exactly the best exclamation to describe how Steve calling you that actually makes you feel, but you're coming up short for anything else.

"'Ew'? Seriously? What's 'ew' about me calling you 'baby'?" Steve questions, his voice rising in volume and pitch in that incredulous way.

"I didn't mean it like ew, I just meant it like. Ew."

"I don't– understand–?"

"It's just. I'm standing here in your room, in your clothes. And its all so domestic and kind of weird and I feel like I can't even talk straight and I think I'm probably in love with you–"

Except for the sound of you clapping your hand over mouth, the room falls completely silent. Steve stands, mouth slightly agape, and doesn't speak.

"You love me?" He asks simply.

"Well– I mean– I've always loved you." You clarify. "I just feel like I love you now... in a different way."

Steve nods slowly.

"We've been friends for years, but now you call me 'baby', apparently, and– and you hold my and kiss me and tell me that I'm pretty. It's all so new. And I love it, but it's odd sometimes. You know?"

"Yeah," he nods more confidently now, "Yeah, I get it."

"So, yes. Ew. But... a good ew," you grin stupidly, your eyes crinkling in the corner.

"Would you think it was 'ew' if I kissed you right now?" Steve asks, stepping closer with an equally dumb smirk on his lips.

"No..." you squirm.

"Good." He says, gently gripping your waist as he pulls you flush against him. Steve kisses you softly, his lips a ghost across your own.

He pulls back to look at you, then moves to your cheek. "Baby," he says against your plush skin before moving to the other cheek, "Baby,"

You laugh fondly, rolling your eyes as his smooching grows more frantic. A steady stream of 'baby's' leaving his mouth between every one he plants on your skin.

"Fuck," you tease, pushing him away, "that's so gross,"

"You love me," he reminds you, leaning into your space again to place open-mouthed kisses on your neck; beneath your ear.

Steve's hands begin to roam. From your shoulders to the small of your back, before brushing over your bottom. His palms find purchase in the apex where your thighs meet your ass.

His mouth finds yours once more, but this kiss is more urgent. With his hands supporting you, he lifts you up, urging your legs to wrap around his waist before carrying you to his modest full-size bed that's hardly big enough for both of you some nights.

You land with an oof and it makes Steve giggle where he planks above you, careful not to crush you with his weight.

The lightness of the moment is replaced by a hunger that overtakes Steve's honeyed eyes before he's ducking down to capture your mouth again. He makes soft noises against your lips that you swallow before they ever reach the air.

One of his knees nudges yours, separating your legs far enough for him to rest between them. "Is this okay?" He asks breathily.

'Yeah. Yeah, it's good,"

Steve settles his weight against your spread thighs, your pelvis' touching. It's a not necessarily a new sensation, but it's new in this context. He's half-hard on top of you. It sends your stomach churning with nervous desire.

He kisses you breathless for a while longer and it's familiar; what's not-so-familiar is the experimental thrust of his hips. You can feel that he's fully erect now, the pressure on your core is surprising and pleasurable all at once.

You gasp and Steve halts. His eyes are wide when he looks at you, "Sorry– was that okay?"

"No, yeah, that's– that's good," you're– embarrassingly– almost panting, "that's really good. Actually."

"Okay," he breathes– and does it again. Steve revels in your gasp; the way your back arches just slightly off of the bed and into him.

It all feels a little off-beat. You're still learning each other in this new way. You want to know what makes Steve tick. Steve wants to know what might make you do that pretty gasp again.

"Can I take these off?" He asks, hushed, as his fingers brush the skin under the waistband of your underwear.

You swallow thickly but nod.

"It's okay. If you don't want to." He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear and you know he means it.

"I do," you assure him, "I'm just... nervous,"

"You don't have to be," he smiles down at you, but it wavers. You can tell he's trying to put on a brave face– his 'macho Steve' persona, as you've affectionately branded it.

"Its okay, Steve," you giggle, "you can admit that you're nervous, too,"

"Me?" He scoffs, "Hawkins' Resident Womanizer Steve Harrington? Nervous to have sex with his– stupidly beautiful girlfriend? I doubt it."

You smack his chest and he laughs heartily, snatching your hand and bringing it to his lips.

"Maybe I'm a little nervous," he all but whispers into your knuckles.

"Awfully presumptuous of you to assume I'm having sex with you tonight," you tease.

"Oh, no?" His right hand snakes down your stomach, dipping below your underwear and cupping your heat.

"Oh–"

His voice dips, his mouth hovering just over your ear, "Does your pussy know that, baby? 'Cause you're already soaked."

Hearing Steve talk like this feels visceral. Its like wires being crossed inside your brain. Steve's always been a hit with the girls, but you've never been on the receiving end of the romancing. This Steve feels different than the one you grew up with; than the one you've spent so much time with– doing anything and everything together.

You thought when the time came that it might feel awkward, but now you're beginning to wonder why you haven't done this sooner.

Steve's fingers dip into the arousal pooling in the bottom of your underwear before traveling back to your clit with tantalizing circles.

"That feel good?" He asks. His voice sounds husky but you can tell that he's asking genuinely; still learning what you do and don't like.

"That's– yeah," you sigh, "that's perfect,"

His movements gain more confidence after that. He studies your face as he goes, cataloguing every miniscule reaction and adjusting where he needs to.

And it's so much, but still not enough. "Steve," you exhale, halting his rhythm with your hand on his wrist, "will you... would you go– down on me?" Your voice comes out small, like you're not sure how to ask for it.

Steve seems to take great pleasure in the request, his eyes taking on a mischievous glint, "Yeah? You want my mouth, honey?"

The new pet name makes you shiver, "Please."

"So polite," Steve praises, words muffled from where his mouth is pressed against the skin of your stomach as he trails his mouth lower lower lower– until he's exactly where you need him.

His tongue is hot and hesitant against you. He starts with barely there kitten licks before flattening his tongue entirely– moving with broad strokes from your entrance to your clit and making sure you're comfortable before incorporating his fingers again.

Your hand flies to his hair when he slides the first one inside of you, all the way to his last knuckle, "Fuck, Steve!"

The encouragement and the pull of your fingers threading through his hair elicits a ragged moan from his throat. You've never even imagined Steve making a sound like that. Another wave of arousal washes over you.

He works you over for what feels like hours and you're admittedly shocked to feel your pleasure cresting to a peak. You've never finished from a having sex with a partner before; you feel yourself beginning to tense.

"Steve– I'm close–" you whimper, head thrown back against his expensive down pillows that you know you're dampening with sweat.

"I know, baby, I can tell," he pauses, "it's okay– I've got you,"

His eyes never leave you as you come. He watches ever twitch of your abdomen– every squeeze of your hands twisted in the bedsheet. You can hear him murmuring praises the entire time– good girl, so good, baby, fuck–that's so hot– but it all sounds muffled. Like you're underwater.

You waste no time grabbing him by the jaw as we crawls his way back over your body and pulling him into a searing kiss. He tastes like a heady mix of your cunt and the spearmint toothpaste he was brushing his teeth with an hour ago.

Steve's tenting his boxers when you glance down between your bodies; just past him the sheets discolored with wet patches where he'd been rutting into the mattress.

Your legs hook behind his back and you pull him into you with a force that knocks the wind out of both of you. You're still sensitive from your orgasm.

"Do you want me to use a condom?" He groans as his clothed cock ruts against your bare folds. He can barely speak; feeling the warmth of you seep through the fabric.

"I'm on the pill," you tell him, "you could pull out just in case, but it's up to you,"

He ducks down to kiss you before responding. Steve kisses you like its as essential to him as air or water– a lifeforce that he needs or he'll simply cease to exist.

You take the opportunity to push his boxers off his hips and down his thighs as he licks into your mouth; his tongue tangling with yours.

Steve's cock is heavy and velvety soft in your hand as you pump him slowly. Your mouths part with a click as you bring your palm to his mouth. "Spit."

His previously heavy-lidded eyes grow wider, but he obliges. You bring your hand back down to stroke him again; this time with better lubrication.

"Holy shit–fuck, baby," he whines into your temple. His arms shake where he's still trying to hold himself up.

You feel yourself gaining confidence with every passing minute that the two of you are intimate, and it feels even better to take the reins back a little. You can't help but wonder what he would sound like– what he would look like– completely at your mercy. You decide to table the thought for another time.

"I need you," you whimper into his sweat-damp hair.

"I know, pretty girl," the thick head of his cock nudges your entrance, prompting you to take a deep breath in in preparation for his size.

"Hey– you'll tell me if you're uncomfortable or you want to stop, okay?" He waits for your nod, "Even if you just want to slow down, that's okay, too. I want you to make you feel good."

"I know," you smile up at him through your daze, softly petting the side of his face, "you do make me feel good,"

He kisses the side of your mouth– the gentlest his been with you all evening– as he pushes the rest of the way inside you. By the time he's at the hilt, you feel so full that it's hard to breathe. You can feel him everywhere.

Tears begin to prick the corners of you eyes once he starts to move; a slow rocking of your bodies into the mattress. You aren't sure the cause. Maybe it's how close you feel to him– maybe it's how he's perpetually grinding into your g-spot with every thrust.

"Fuck– I love you," he groans into the crook of your neck where it meets your shoulder. His teeth scrape the sensitive skin there like he might bite you, but he doesn't.

"I love you, baby–"

The shape of the endearment in your mouth awakens something nearly primal in Steve as he begins to fuck you that much faster. The headboard creaks where it repeatedly hits the wall behind you.

Strong biceps wrap around you, lifting you beneath the armpits as Steve hugs you in this horizontal position. You squeeze him back just as fiercly.

You feel your second climax approaching significantly quicker than the first had, but you need more. Pressing your fingers to Steve's mouth, he doesn't question your motive. He opens and closes around them obediently, slicking them for you.

He watches as you snake your hand in between your glistening bodies, "Yeah, there you go," his voice breathy and punctuated by his relentless thrusts, "touch yourself f'me, baby– good girl,"

It's almost too much. It's perfect. "Steve– I'm close–"

"Ah– me, too," he pants, forehead pressed firmly to yours, "come with me–"

Your entire body contracts as you finish and you're certain you've never came so hard in your life. Steve holds off until he's sure you're satisfied before pulling out just in time to spill all across your stomach with a long, low moan.

The last of his strength leaves him shortly thereafter; his trembling body collapsing against you.

Your combined skin is tacky and cool with sweat, but neither of you can bring yourselves to move.

The air in the room is thick with the scent of sex and the only sound comes from the crickets chirping through the open window and your shaking breaths. It feels like hours before Steve breaks the silence.

"You okay? Was that good for you?"

"'Good' would be the understatement of the century,"

"I can't believe we didn't do that sooner,"

"I was just thinking that earlier,"

The hushed conversation somehow feels just as intimate as the sex did.

"We can't fall asleep like this," you remind Steve, who very well may already be sleeping. You're getting Deja Vu from a conversation you once had with Nancy Wheeler.

"Why not?" He slurs. Okay, not sleeping then.

"Because I need to pee or else I'll get a UTI," you pause, thinking, "and your... jizz is all over my stomach."

"Don't call it 'jizz'," Steve admonishes.

It takes longer than you'd ever admit to get you both cleaned up, despite your constant reminders to Steve that– the faster you take care of the mess, the faster you can crawl back into bed.

user loooovee this show will there be a season 2?

user why's joe responding to his own comment😭😭

⤿ yourusername he's a strange one isn't he?

⤿ djotime ?

nattyiceofficial my favorite scene partner❤️

⤿ yourusername my walk 'em down wheeler💕💕

user who else was lowkey rooting for steve and her character to get together more than stancy lol

⤿ user ME OMG I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE

⤿ user djotime and yourusername's chemistry was INSANEEEE

⤿ user duffer brothers what do we think about a slow burn / yearning / enemies to lovers / rain kiss...

⤿ user you need to write the damn script at this point😭😭

charlie.r.heaton Core Four!

⤿ yourusername CORE FOURRRR

SEASON TWO:

liked by sadiesink_, finnwolfhardoffical and others

yourusername we're so back. season two of stranger things is out now and everyone be nice to snoopy, he's new on set🤍

view comments?

noahschnapp SNOOPYYYY

⤿ milliebobbybrown i loved seeing him in the corner of my eye during every scene

⤿ yourusername snoopy said he loves this season and that everyone should watch it (100% true i promise)

user the cast having a mascot is so cute🥺🥺

user who are the parents of snoopy?

⤿ finnwolfhardofficial djotime is mom and yourusername is dad

djotime Maybe next season you'll post a nice picture of me

⤿ yourusername unless u die next season idk

sadiesink_ i'm in a yourusername photo dump i've made it😭

user season 2 out of ? with joe being featured

nattyiceofficial why is joe in time out

⤿ yourusername because he made my character cry this season

⤿ djotime That was literally in the script what else was I supposed to say

⤿ nattyiceofficial oh sit back in timeout.

⤿ yourusername stay there until next season joe.

⤿ calebmclaughlin Looks like Snoopy's staying with dad tonight...

SEASON THREE:

liked by maya_hawke, gatenmatarazzo and others

yourusername i was stuck in the fuckass scoops ahoy outfit all season so i might as well make a post about it... oh, well. if u wanna watch joe get beat up for a third season in a row, u know the drill😉

view comments?

user i can't tell if the writers are trying to get their characters together or that's just djotime and yourusername breaking character😭

⤿ user LITERALLY they have such chemistry i'll feel robbed if they don't kiss by next season

gatenmatarazzo Scoops Troop gather around!

⤿ yourusername yes sir!

⤿ djotime ✋

⤿ maya_hawke Here! (For yourusername)

⤿ djotime ...

⤿ priahferguson yessssss💜

user i'm SO obsessed with them

user "fuckass outfit" as if she didn't manage to pull it off for 8 episodes

user i demand we have this group together again next season (...with more steve and her character scenes... i'm not asking for much...)

djotime I've been promoted to 2 pictures in the dump this year

⤿ user and the photos are nicer, yourusername we're losing credibility...

⤿ yourusername i'm sorry it's hard to catch that pretty face off guard💔

yourusername deleted this comment!

⤿ yourusername i'm sorry, i'll take my job more seriously next season💔

⤿ user HELLO?

user so we're acting as if me and 3 other people didn't see her comment before she deleted it

SEASON FOUR:

liked by calebmclaughlin, josephquinn and others

yourusername what a whirlwind of a season! couldn't have done it without all my beautiful castmates, i love u all endlessly. one last ride together🤍

view comments?

user oh so she wants to make me cry on a random friday night

user wdym we have one season left... come back...

sadiesink_ the cutest

⤿ yourusername u get ittttt

user WHO IS THAT ON THE SECOND SLIDE

⤿ user her character literally wears that in the show so it HAS to be someone on set

⤿ user ...ever heard of people visiting their partners while they're filming

⤿ user god forbid a girl pretends yourusername and joe keery are dating

djotime Cool

⤿ yourusername cool

⤿ user OMG KISS

⤿ user ur so funny for this😭😭😭

finnwolfhardofficial yourusername Why are you taking pictures of Joe shirtless?

⤿ yourusername omg i'll literally block u

maya_hawke My favorite couple

⤿ maya_hawke Of friends

⤿ maya_hawke On set

⤿ yourusername maya my love i think it's best if we delete comments instead of trying to save face by adding more fuel to the fire😭😭

maya_hawke deleted this comment!

yourusername deleted this comment!

user maya tell us what we don't know!!!

SEASON FIVE:

liked by charlie.r.heaton, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername and it's all over just like that. i can't thank u enough for the support u have given us over the decade and it breaks my heart that this is the final photo dump. oh, my beloved stranger things, u are so special to me.

so long, hawkins, u were terrifying don't get me wrong (!!!) but u were home.🤍🤍🤍

view comments?

milliebobbybrown just when i thought i was done crying

maya_hawke ❤️❤️❤️

user who else screamed when steve and her character kissed this seaosn

⤿ user i felt like i was intruding

⤿ user it was so ...intimate?

noahschnapp Love you :(((((

nellfisher_ thank you for making this experience the best year of my life❤️

⤿ yourusername oh nell ur so talented endlessly proud of u🥺🥺🥺

user DROP THE HARD LAUNCH

user get you a man who brings you flowers

nattyiceofficial memories to last a lifetime

⤿ yourusername i miss u already natty

djotime A beautiful performance from the most beautiful person❤️

⤿ yourusername oh, my joe🤍

⤿ user MY ?????

⤿ user WHY'S NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS

user not her hiding her boyfriend in the final stranger things post so we all forget to talk about it

yourusername steve harrington i miss u, u were so sexy

⤿ yourusername fuck wrong account

yourusername deleted this comment!

calebmclaughlin How did you get away with that comment yourusername?😭😭

⤿ yourusername i've never deleted something so quick in my life

⤿ user another day another yourusername comment we missed💔

POST-SEASON FIVE:

liked by djotime, noahschnapp and others

yourusername i take method acting very seriously

view comments?

user YOU'RE DJOKING.

user FUCK OFF

user HARD LAUNCH OF THE CENTURY

sadiesink_ the nonchalant post as if you didn't break millions of people's hearts

⤿ yourusername the first post of many i love my boyfriend

⤿ user HER. BOYFRIEND.

user am i dreaming or is that you harrington?

carabuono Such a beautiful couple. So lucky to watch you two fall in love.🤍

finnwolfhardofficial When can I come over

⤿ gatenmatarazzo Let them finish their hard launch and ask them later

⤿ gatenmatarazzo And ask them if I can join

⤿ calebmclaughlin Same

⤿ yourusername ??????

nattyiceofficial i've never seen you happier❤️

user i haven't recovered from their characters ending up together in the epilogue LET ALONE them dating irl😭😭😭

djotime I love you

⤿ yourusername i love u too

⤿ user KMS

⤿ user I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

gatenmatarazzo When can I tell people that you two improvised the kiss this season

⤿ djotime I think you just did

⤿ yourusername hell yeah tell them i have no shame

⤿ user "improvised" as if it hasn't been named the best tv kiss on tiktok

liked by yourusername, carabuono and others

djotime I fell in love on set 10 years ago. Figured it was time to tell you all about her.

view comments?

user AND NOW HE POSTS ABOUT HER

user fell to my knees at the caption i'll settle for no less

user get married

maya_hawke You two keep getting cuter!!!

nattyiceofficial why's snoopy being squished

⤿ user FUCK OFF THEY DID NOT NAME THEIR CAT SNOOPY

⤿ user from naming their teddy snoopy to their shared cat i feel sick

⤿ user omg they're perfect😩😩😩

finnwolfhardofficial When can I come over

⤿ yourusername i know u didn't comment the same question u asked me on joe's account

⤿ finnwolfhardofficial Now that I know you're online can you answer me

⤿ yourusername idk tomorrow if u want

⤿ calebmclaughlin I'll be there then

⤿ yourusername U DIDN'T EVEN ASK THE QUESTION ????

⤿ gatenmatarazzo Ok I'll see you guys there

⤿ yourusername ur djoking

user reminder that we watched them fall in love with each season

milliebobbybrown this is the most adorable thing ever

yourusername joe i'm so in love with u

⤿ djotime I'm so so in love with you too

⤿ charlie.r.heaton But Stonathan is better

⤿ djotime Yeah definitely

⤿ yourusername oh

let me know if u liked this sort of post and i can do more bc it is so much funnnnn