Ethan White.

"Um, who cares?"

"You're way too pretty to not be polite. I'm Ethan" he reached out a hand.

“Jesus fucking christ-are you one of those annoying hippie types?”

"Um manners?"

Is there even such a thing as a recycle bin in this house? And hey, long showers are the best showers.

Yes, I personally made sure we got one. No long showers aren't necessary. It may feel nice but conserving works. Shower with a buddy. 

Did you know that if you blow the waiter at TGI Fridays during his break, he’ll give you free potato skins? Today’s a good day!

Did you blow him because you were horny or because you were hungry?

So I can buy like, fifty dildos and leave it under every gay man’s pillows. I’ll be the cock fairy, it’ll be amazing.

Are you fucking with me? or are you being serious right now?

To kill time. Anyway, I’m fine really, just looking for any phallic looking objects I can sell for fifty bucks on Ebay, what about yourself, sweetheart?

Why do you need the cash so urgently?

There is no such thing as a good pick up line.

I'm sorry but did I do something to your cereal this morning?

Well, start with whatever you find appropriate yourself. I’m a very open minded guy so nothing really bothers me. You can ask me inappropriate stuff and I wouldn’t mind. But I’m fantastic, how about you?

I'm doing alright. Why are you fantastic though? Thats a story I'd like to hear. 

Well, that’s totally fucked. You’re a nice dude, people should give a shit how you’re doing. I’m glad you’re good though. I might be slightly in love with hockey. It’s a love-hate relationship. I used to, when I was a kid, but I stick to soccer mostly.

I love soccer. I mean I'm not much of a sporty guy unless it's riding my bike but I do like playing soccer. We should um...if you're not busy sometime... I don't really know how to say this....Hang? We should hang.

I’m good. That’s a really boring answer, I wish I had something cooler to say but I really have nothing. How are you?

You could always lie about how you're doing... I'm doing well though thanks.

I’m not questioning your manners, just wondering.

So.... are you going to answer? How are you?

No, not at all. 

Do you have any good ones? Maybe I can use it later.

Well, my attention is all yours, big guy, I can assure you. I’m… fuming about hockey, but other than that — I’m pretty excellent. How’re you?

I'm actually good. I rarely get asked back I don't really know what to say. You like hockey? Do you play?

Why wouldn’t it be okay? What kinda question is that?

It's a polite one?

Depends, are you actually curious?

Yeah, I mean why would I ask.