look at the flowers, ethan.

Clarke smiled back, though he could tell Ethan was struggling. Instead of pushing it further he just nudged his brother towards the kitchens. “Come on. I bet Seb or Meera have something cooked up,” he said, grinning. “We can eat together.”

Ethan’s smile grew as he immediately trailed after his brother, “I hope so, they make going back to canned food and non-perishables a sickening thought.”

Stubborn, that’s what the Mitchell’s were. But even Clarke knew he couldn’t argue this. His brother had grown distant and withdrawn. “I know,” he nodded. “You’re always going to have me. No matter what.” All he could do was reassure Ethan that he would carry him as far as he had to. “Have you eaten today? I was thinking about heading for the kitchens.”

“Thank you, Clarke.” Ethan managed a weak smile. “I’ll try to get better at... all of this.” Ethan almost believed those words, but they were mostly just words for Clarke’s benefit. “Hm? Oh, nah not yet. I was helping out in the gardens earlier. Mind if I tag along? I’m starving.”

“Ethan…” Clarke frowned at his brother and stood up, placing his hands on Ethan’s shoulders. “You are my brother. And you are strong. I know you have my back, you have since we were kids.” His frown deepened and he shook his head. “No, you’re not. No one here is brave or a coward. We’re all merely survivors.”

Ethan wanted to argue, to say that none of it was true. He’d been there for him but he had never done anything about it. Maybe there was a time when he could stand up for his brother like he always did for him, but ever since the day they’d lost their family... Ethan was different. Clarke kept seeing the person Ethan was before that but he wasn’t even sure if that person still existed. It sure seemed like he didn’t. “I guess.” He frowned, though he didn’t believe any of it. Everyone knew the kind of person Ethan was and that he couldn’t be depended on. But he also knew that continuing to talk like that hurt Clarke and made him worry, so he kept his mouth shut. He’d been getting better at keeping things to himself anyway. “I’m glad I have you. You know that right?”

Clarke watched him for a moment. “Hey,” he said gently. “Just stick with me and you won’t have to, okay?” He knew his brother wouldn’t get used to this. “Nothing’s gonna get you while I’m here.”

Ethan managed a smile, knowing that Clarke meant it. And he was grateful, with everything they’d lost they still had each other. His smile dropped then, Clarke was always looking out for him but the same couldn’t be said the other way around. “I wish I was strong like you.” He frowned. “... and I want to be. I want to be able to have your back I’m just...” Ethan shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m not like you. I’m a coward.”

“Thanks Clarke.” He took the gun back from his brother and bit his lip, staring at the gun as he held it loosely in his hand, almost like he was afraid to even be holding it. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. Or holding it. Let alone be able to fire one...”

“I wonder what Korean walkers look like…”

“Does it matter? Walkers are walkers after all...”