❂ Finding An Escape ❂

Daryl walked at a steady pace, slow enough for you to keep up as you trailed behind. The two of you were headed towards a nearby town that you had yet to check for supplies, it was a small town with one grocery store, a few corner stores and one pharmacy. Your main targets were the grocery store and the pharmacy. You and Daryl walked in silence, despite the few times you wanted to say something, you held your tongue. Once you reached the edge of town, Daryl crouched down and looked around for any Walkers. You crouched down beside him and looked around. “Ya see anythin’?” Daryl speaks softly. You shake your head and Daryl heads forward keeping his crouched position and you cautiously follow suit. The first stop was the grocery store which was surprisingly small. Daryl led you around the side and he forcefully smashed his shoulder into the door, busting it open and immediately drawing his weapon to shoot any Walkers that might have been silently lurking. When the two of you checked the building, you began searching for anything worth taking. You and Daryl spilt up and looked through the shelves, in hopes of finding that would be of use to the group. You managed to find a couple cans of soup but that wouldn't last very long. You packed up the cans and searched for Daryl. “I found a couple cans of soup but other than that this place has been cleaned out pretty well. You find anything?” you ask. “Nah, nothin’ special.” he replies before heading towards the door.

Daryl led the way to the side entrance of the pharmacy. He abused his shoulder once again, shoving it into the metal door forcing it open. You were both a little less on guard this time since this entire town seemed relatively quiet. You both walked in side by side, looking at the surroundings. You walked a bit ahead of Daryl, about to turn down one of the isles before you felt Daryl grab the back of your t-shirt and slowly pull you back. When you looked up, you were met with at least two dozen Walkers standing in the isle. As you walked back, your feet quietly shuffled against the dirtied floors, as Daryl pulled you back farther, you began to lose your footing and accidentally kicked an empty can that was crushed on the floor. That ever so slight noise quickly caught the attention of the Walkers before you and you began to panic. “Ah fuck,” Daryl muttered. “In here, come on!” he orders in a louder tone. He leads you to a door that leads to behind the pharmacy counter. He abuses his shoulder once more, using all his force to shove it open. The door bursts open and the two of you rush in. Daryl holds the door while you push over a filing cabinet to block the door. Daryl quickly helps you pull it over in front of the door with one strong pull.

Once the door is blocked, the two of you sit up against the opposite wall, watching the door as it is pushed and slammed on. “I’m so sorry,” the words naturally come out of your mouth, barely above a whisper. “For?” he asks in confusion. “I tripped. I got us in this situation.” you admit. “S’okay. Shit happens’. S’not gonna cost us our lives.” he replies, softening his expression. “We jus’ gotta wait for em walkers to clear and we’ll be alright'’' he continued, in efforts to comfort you to the best of his abilities. After a couple of moments of silence between the two of you, you looked over at him. He didn’t dare look back but he could feel your gaze. “Can I ask you something?” you ask softly. He nods his head yes before you speak up again. “Why’d you bring me along on this run?” you ask. Daryl looks forward in silence for a moment, thinking of what to say before clearing his throat. “I dunno. Ery’one could use some experience out here.” he replied. You nod in understanding. “Plus, Rick tol’ me I gotta pick someone to come along, to be safe, and I don't hate ya company.” Daryl admitted hesitantly. You didn't know what to say,

Daryl wasn’t usually this open with anyone, let alone you. You simply looked at him and smiled. He let out a breath like he was going to hold it until you replied to his statement. “I don’t hate your company either” you smile. You catch a small smile on his face, it’s only for a split second but for that split second, Daryl Dixon is visibly happy. “Before this, who were you?” you ask in attempts to pass the time. Daryl didn’t know what to say, there were so many things he wanted you to know and so many things that he didn’t. “A redneck,” he replies. Without questioning the simplicity behind his answer you ask another question, “You miss anything from before?” you ask. Daryl thinks for a few seconds, did he miss anything? ”Alcohol” he mutters. You raise an eyebrow at him and he gives in, “I dunno…maybe Merle, sometimes.” he gives in. “Brother?” you ask, unsure of who Merle was. “Yea” Daryl replies, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry for your loss,” you reply, placing your hand gently over his to console him. “S’alright,” he mutters. “Betcha’ you were some artist or somethin’” he continued, chuckling to himself slightly. “I was in College, I was an English major” you reply. “How old are ya?” Daryl asks in confusion. “I’m 23,” you admit. Daryl rubs his hand down his face and chuckles, “God ya young” he mutters, you barely caught it behind his sigh. “Beware, I’m 70 at heart” you chuckle. He chuckles along with you. “Ya miss anythin’ from before?” he asks with curiosity. “My family” you reply, you were quick with your reply. Daryl could tell it upset you so he avoided prying at it anymore. After a few more moments of silence, you look over at Daryl in sudden confusion. This time he looks back and mimics your expression. “How old are you?” you ask. “Old enough,” Daryl quickly replies. Your best guess was late 40’s, you knew he was older then you but he made it seem like you had 30 years between the two of you. “How long do you think it’ll take for those Walkers to wander off” you ask, getting tired from all the commotion. “Hard to say, why?” he replies, watching the door. “Just getting tired, that’s all” you admit, also staring at the door. “Ya can rest if ya want, I’ll keep watch” he replies, getting more comfortable against the wall. “You sure?” you ask. Daryl nods and you close your eyes while resting your head against the wall.

“Bucky? Are you okay?” You ask gently above a whisper, tapping your knuckles softly against the door. You hear a shuffle on the other side of the door and a slight whimper was heard. “Bucky? Can I come in?” You ask again. With no reply afterwards, you turn the knob only to be surprised that it’s unlocked. “Bucky, I’m coming in” You whisper while entering the room, closing the door behind you.

You slowly approach Bucky's bed only to find the bed empty and neatly made. You furrow your eyebrows at the sight. You're sure that you heard the sounds coming from in the room. You look around the dark bedroom, the soft blue light peeking in through the window allowing you to see the silhouette of your surroundings. You jump at the sight of Bucky curled up in the corner of his dark bedroom.

He was shirtless but wrapped in a thin grey blanket, his skin was coated in a sheet of sweat and his dark hair was ruffled. His eyes were closed tightly as he leaned against the corner of the room, shivering in fear. “Bucky?” You ask, a little louder than the previous times.

He quickly jolts awake and pushes himself back against the wall. He looks at you frantically and confused. He tries to speak but finds himself stumbling over his words and unable to form a single word, let alone a sentence. “I’m sorry for letting myself in” You apologize while slowly approaching him.

“The door was open and I heard a scream…” you continue as he pants and studies you as you approach. “I was worried” you add, slowly lowering your voice. He nods to let you know that he heard you and looks immediately at the ground in front of him.

You kneel beside him and study his face. His under eyes are darkened, his lips and cheeks are rosy, his eyebrows are furrowed and his breath is staggered. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask gently, not wanting to speak too loudly and frighten him. He looks around the room, finally landing on your eyes and settling.

His hands were clenched into tight fists and his knuckles were white. “Bucky… it’s okay” you whisper before placing your hand on top of his clenched fist. “You can relax…” you whisper again. He looks down at your hand on top of his and sighs. “I won’t let anything hurt you” you finish. The comforting phrase caught him off guard, and he didn’t know how to react.

Bucky never talked about his nightmares. It didn’t matter who you were, his nightmares were always kept to himself. Even though Bucky was a very closed-off person, it was no secret to everyone in the compound that he was having nightmares. The screams were so loud they could be heard throughout most of the building. It wasn’t often that someone came to check on him.

Occasionally, Steve would check in on him and make sure he wasn’t hurt or anything very bad but there wasn’t much that he could do. Bucky was the definition of being through hell and back, he has experienced the worst of the worst. Tortured, Abused, Manipulated, Experimented on, Brainwashing and the list just goes on.

“I- I had a-a nightmare” Bucky chokes out, struggling to form the words. You nod slightly and shoot him a comforting smile. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare, nothing more” you whisper. He pushes his lips together and nods. “Do you want to talk about it?” You continue, slightly caressing his still clenched fist.

“I- I can’t- I just-“ Bucky struggles to find the words as he keeps his attention on your hand caressing his. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me” you reply. “Do you want me to stay here with you?” You ask. He nods his head and you gently smile. “Okay. I’ll stay” you reply, any quieter and he probably wouldn’t have heard you.

“I know it’s hard but you’ll have to help me get you into bed” You mumbled, standing up beside him and reaching down to help him up. You gently wrap a hand around his forearm and he weakly pushes himself to his feet. You wrap an arm around his back and guide him to the bed slowly. His feet shuffle against the floor and his walk is clumsy and weak.

You release Bucky just before reaching the bed and begin to pull back the sheets for him. After getting the bed ready, you help him into it. Bucky simply watches you as you help him to bed. Once he is under the blanket, you gently tuck the blanket it securely wrapping his body.

“My mom used to always tuck me in after a nightmare…” you mutter as you place another blanket on top of him. You sit on the edge of the bed and smile warmly at him. “She told me that as long as I was tucked in that nothing could ever get me. It always made me feel so safe” you continue.

You hesitantly brush the hair away from Bucky’s face as he lays in his bed, watching your every move. “You are so strong, so capable and so brave. Even if you don't think you're strong, or feel like you're at the breaking point, or afraid, you keep going, you've kept going, taking all the things that life and the universe threw at you, even when you felt like you were falling apart” you sympathize.

A tear rolls down Bucky's cheek as he listens to you and your praises. You gently caress his cheek, softly brushing his warm skin under your thumb. “You need sleep Bucky, you look like you haven’t slept in days” you admit.

Bucky nods and smiles weakly at you. “Can-can you stay” he mutters, catching you off guard. You smile back and nod without hesitation. “Would you like me to just sit here with you?” You ask, barely above a whisper. Bucky nods and presses his lips together, almost like he was trying to stop himself from saying something.

You look at him in slight confusion and he sighs. “Can-can you maybe- can you sing?” He stutters. “Sing?” You ask in disbelief. He nods and you chuckle to yourself. “What would you like me to sing?” You ask. “My mom- she used- used to sing this song. It was- it was about sunshine” Bucky whispers, struggling to remember the song.

“You are my sunshine?” You smile. He nods and his eyes soften as his memories rush back in. “My mom used to sing that one to me as well” you admit. You brush more of Bucky’s hair back off his forehead and he sighs at the touch. Your fingers gently combing through his hair, comforting and soothing him.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine” you sing, a soft gasp escapes Bucky’s lips at the familiar tune filling his ears. “You make me happy when skies are grey” you continue, gently reciting the comforting rhyme.

Your fingers continue to comb through Bucky’s hair as you sing. With each lyric his mind becomes quieter and quieter, silencing all the pain that was filling it to the brim. “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you” you continue.

“Please don’t take my sunshine away” you finish the song, slowly falling into a whisper as it ends. Bucky’s breaths become balanced and steady. He gently closes his eyes and his mind is filled with sweet memories of his childhood. Memories of his mother and his sisters. Memories of Steve and the things they did together in their youth.

His head continues to fill with these memories, almost as if he was watching a slideshow of all the good in his life. All the good that kept him anchored. Memories of Steve and Sam filled his head, the morning runs they would go on together and how hard Sam tried to get him to smile. Memories of Natasha and Steve arguing about the silliest of things, almost ending in Natasha tackling Steve to the ground.

Memories of you crept in. He saw you helping Sam make dinner for everyone and laughing as Natasha stood to the side and criticized everything Sam did. He saw you frantically rushing around the living room during movie night, making sure everyone was comfortable and had all the things they needed. He saw you smiling, your cheeks becoming slightly flushed. He saw you.

As Bucky laid there with his eyes peacefully closed, you admired how calm he looked. When you thought he was asleep, you slowly rose from the bed and quickly felt Bucky’s hand wrap around yours. His eyes opened slightly and he sighed. “Don’t go,” he whispers. You look at him in confusion at first but simply nod, knowing he didn’t want to be alone.

As time went by, you continued to brush your hand through Bucky’s hair soothing him as he laid peacefully. You knew he was asleep and you could leave without him knowing but it felt wrong. You didn’t want him to wake up alone. Your eyes soon grew heavy and your body slowly felt weighted. You tried your hardest to keep yourself up but it soon grew almost impossible. Your body soon fell, resting on top of Bucky and for the rest of the night, that was where you stayed.

The sunrise crept in through the window, shining on your face, the unfamiliar warmth waking you. You slowly rose, sitting upright on the side of Bucky’s bed. When you looked down at Bucky, he was looking back at you with a sluggish expression. He gently rubs his eyes and they widen once he realizes that you’re truly here beside him.

“Mind if we use the mat? I would enjoy kicking Sam’s ass.” Wanda speaks up, her accent spiking through each one of her words. “Let’s not get too cocky now. You’re what? 5’5?” Sam chuckles back as Wanda glares at him.

“We’re done here anyway, go right ahead” Steve smiles before walking side by side with you, out of Sam and Wanda’s way. You both sit on the bench, drinking your water and catching your breath. “Who are you betting on?” you ask with a smirk. “Oh, so it’s a competition?” Steve replies in an intrigued tone. “I put $20 on Wanda.” you smile confidently. “You’re on,” Steve replies before sternly shaking your hand.

You both watch as Sam and Wanda position themselves. Wanda makes the first move but Sam quickly grabs her arm, twisting it behind her back. Wanda chuckles and loosens her posture like she had given up. Steve chuckles beside you and holds his hand out. You smirk and shake your head at him. He gives you a confused look before looking back at the two on the mat. Sam releases Wanda and chuckles. “I tol-“

Before Sam could even try to finish that sentence, Wanda kicks out his legs and pins him down on the mat. “Yes!” you cheer. She looks up at you with a smile. “That actually works? Men are so stupid sometimes.” She chuckles, her accent coating her words.

“Woah Woah, what was that?” Steve asks in pure confusion. “I would also like to know what the hell that was,” Sam replies, lying lifeless on the mat. “It’s just something I taught Wanda a little while ago, nothing crazy. It doesn’t work every time but it’s very effective when it does,” you reply before taking another drink of water.

“What did you call it again?” Wanda smiles. “3 Second Rule.” you smile back. Sam breathlessly chuckles while getting up off the mat. “So what? You just pretend to give up?” Sam asks. “That's what it looked like.” Steve chimes in.

“Want me to show you?” you ask Steve. He pauses in confusion before shrugging his shoulders and walking back up to the mat. You follow behind him, Wanda giving you a smile on the way. “Let’s do this,” Steve smiles.

“Okay, so let’s put ourselves in Wanda and Sam’s position, just for an example” you state. Steve lightly grabs your arm and holds it behind your back, pressing his chest against your back. You can feel his breath on your neck, tickling your skin.

“Like this?” he asks softly. “Yes.. yeah. Just like this” you stutter. “It has to feel real though, grip my wrist a little tighter. You have to act as if we’re really fighting” you instruct. Steve tightens his grip on your wrist and pulls you closer as you tense up and begin to try and free yourself. “Is that as hard as you can go? Come on Steve, imagine I was trying to kill you, or even someone you love. His grip tightens even more and you’re secure in his grasp.

You smirk at Wanda as she watches you and Steve from the bench. “You’re hurting me... I take it back, I can’t” you whine. Steve’s posture drops and he lets go of your wrist. You swiftly turn around, kicking his legs from under him and pressing your forearm against his neck once he hits the ground.

Sam and Wanda die of laughter on the bench as you smirk at Steve. He looks at you in pure confusion. You remove your forearm from his neck and he lets out a deep breath. “It’s proven that men hardly perceive a woman as a threat compared to a man. So when I become all innocent and act like I’ve given up, you gave in and let your guard down”

You help Steve off the mat as he looks at you in awe. “Once you let your guard down, it’s also proven that it would take you an additional seven seconds to again perceive me as a threat just because I’m a woman” you chuckle at his look of confusion.

“I didn’t believe it when she told me, but it really works” Wanda chimes in. Steve just breathlessly laughs and shakes his head. “It hit you like a truck too, didn’t it?” Sam asks with a chuckle. Steve just nods as he grabs his water bottle from Sam. “Women amaze me more and more every day,” Sam admits. You and Wanda chuckle before you decide it’s getting late.

“On that note, I think I’m gonna officially call it a night. I’ll be in my room if you guys need me” you smile before grabbing your stuff and heading out of the gym. The only thing you can think of is how amazing a shower is gonna feel after all of that, your muscles were already beginning to ache from all the work.

***

You loved living in the compound, it was spacious and everyone had their own little space. Each room was built like it was a personal apartment minus the kitchen. A comfy bed, decent closet, space for personal items, a bathroom with a good amount of counter space (which was always important). You enjoyed having your own space to decorate and call your own, it felt really warm and welcoming.

You quickly place your stuff down on your bed and head into the bathroom, starting the shower before peeling off your sweaty workout clothes. You pushed them in a pile on the floor before jumping in with a sigh. The cold water eased your aching muscles and felt refreshing.

You took some time to wash and condition your hair before scrubbing your body down and rinsing off. Once you turned the water off, you stepped out of the shower and wrapped your towel around yourself. When you exited your bathroom you immediately glanced at the clock on your wall. 11:18 pm

You dried yourself off, hanging the towel up before quickly picking out your clothes. You opted for your most comfortable pair of pyjamas before heading back into the bathroom to brush your hair. You combed through it, applying a few products so it didn’t go crazy when it dried. Before picking up your toothbrush you decided you wanted to eat something before going to bed. Late-night snacks were always better when there was no one around and the entire compound was quiet.

You quietly shut your door behind you before turning and walking down to the kitchen. Everyone was usually in bed around this time so it was the perfect opportunity. You smiled to yourself as you headed to the kitchen. Once you reached the kitchen, you were surprised to see a very tired-looking Steve leaning against the counter. He was holding a Stark Tablet in his hand, reading over what must be a recent mission report. His hair was messy, still a bit damp from the shower he must’ve had beforehand.

He wore a white t-shirt that was obviously too small for him, but then again nobody was complaining about the view. You cleared your throat and he looked up at you, smiling once your eyes met his. “Evening stranger,” he says softly. “Stranger? You don’t remember me kicking your ass not that long ago?” you reply, keeping your voice low in fear of waking anyone up. He just chuckles as he pushes himself up from leaning against the counter, turning off the device in his hand.

“What’re you still doing up?” he questions. “Well I was about to brush my teeth and go to bed, then decided I wanted a snack” you smile softly before walking up and opening the fridge. The fridge light is bright, filling the room completely. You pull out the washed bowl of grapes that you had put in there this morning, surprised that no one had eaten them.

“Your snack of choice is those grapes?” he chuckles slightly in disgust. “Woah there, what do you have against these grapes” you reply, pretending to be hurt at his tone. “I’ve just never really liked those ones. I hated them as a kid” he replies before reopening the fridge and pulling out a water bottle.

“You're telling me that you haven’t tried them since you were a kid? How do you know if your taste buds have changed or not?” you ask in disbelief. “That’s how bad they were! I hate just looking at them now” he chuckles. You quirk your eyebrows before giving him a smirk.

He looks at you in confusion before realizing what you’re thinking. “Nope. Not in a million years. Stay away from me” he protests. “Just one! If you don’t like it then you can hold it against me forever” you chuckle before handing him a single grape. He looks up and down, switching between your puppy dog eyes and the small grape in your hand.

“Fine. Just one” he groans. You drop it in his hand and he looks at it in disgust before putting it in his mouth and hesitantly chewing. His tense expression drops once he gets a taste of the grape. “I knew it” you smile at him. He is unable to hold back his smile before shaking his head in defeat.

You place the bowl of grapes back in the fridge and Steve leaves the kitchen with you. “Can I walk you to your room?” he asks softly. You nod with a smile. The walk is silent for the first few seconds before you decide to break that silence. “How was your day?” you internally cringe at your attempt at small talk but he smiles at the gesture.

“It was good. Early morning run, hung around until lunch, ate lunch, hung around again until you and I went for training” he replies in detail with a smile spread across his face. “And how was your day?” he continues.

“Good. I didn’t work out much, just kind of watched movies, read, worked on some files. The boring stuff” you smile. Steve was such a productive person, he woke up at 5 am every day for his run, he didn’t spend too much time on the couch or in his room. He liked to interact and move around. In that way, you were opposites.

You finally reached your bedroom and Steve shot you a sweet smile before turning around to head back. “Steve?” you ask, your voice projecting a little louder than you thought. He turns around and smiles “Yeah?” he asks, his tone a lot softer than yours. “Are you tired?” you ask.

He tilts his head and smiles at you before replying. “No, not really” he chimed. With that, you open your door wildly, motioning for him to come in. He hesitantly enters your room and you follow in behind him. You settle in while he stands there, looking around and admiring how you had filled and decorated the room.

“Have I never had you in here before?” you question. He shakes his head as he continues to look around. “I've been in here but it’s only been for seconds at a time” he admits. “Well, this is it” you beam while holding your arms out, motioning to all the things around you.

He chuckles as he turns and his eyes settle on you. You pat the spot beside you on the bed and he obeys, settling in the spot beside you. “You wanna watch a movie?” you ask cheerfully. He nods and you pick up the remote in excitement.

Steve hadn’t seen many movies outside the ones from his time. He had seen some of the classics but only because they were strongly recommended to him. “What do you wanna watch?” you ask while clicking through the choices. “Well, what ones are your favourite?” he asks in a genuine tone.

“I really like classic horror if I’m being honest. Have you seen Scream?” you ask with a big smile. “I haven’t seen that one, sounds interesting” he replies with an equally big smile. You search for the movie and hand Steve the remote. He presses play and you quickly run up out of the bed to turn off the lights, bolting back into bed once they’re off. When you jump back into bed you crash into Steve’s side.

His laugh is low and deep. “Why were you in such a hurry?” He laughs. “I didn’t wanna miss anything” you admit before giving your full attention to the movie. “I thought you said you’ve seen it before” he questions. “I have, I just like it a lot” you admit once again. The darkness of the room hides a lot, including the big smile that comes across Steve’s face as he watches you. Your eyes are filled with enjoyment and you look so happy, he liked that look on you.

As you watched the movie, Steve inched closer and closer hoping you wouldn’t notice and question him on it. When a jump scare came up, he would move slightly closer. Another jump scare came and Steve moved closer, you felt his arm brush against yours and you look over at him only to see he was already looking at you in complete worry. Your expression softened and it eased his worries.

You gently lifted his arm, placing it around your shoulder as you cuddled into his side. Steve’s heart began to beat fast and his skin felt hot. In the light, anyone would be able to see his face all beat red, paired with an uncontrollable smile. Your skin against his felt cool, it eased him and made him feel much better the longer you laid there.

Once the movie came to an end he looked down at you only to see you looking back up at him in anticipation. He furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled nervously. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” He asked. “I wanna know if you liked it or not,” you ask genuinely. His heart basically melts then and there as he sees the excitement on your face. “I liked it a lot. It was really good” he admits, enjoying watching the smile grow on your face.

***

Now that the movie was over, Steve wasn’t sure if he should leave or not. He wasn’t sure if the sudden cuddling meant that you wanted him to stay or if it was just in the moment. He shuffled a little underneath you and you looked back up at him, a tired look plastered on your face.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? Like this?” you ask softly, a yawn creeping up behind your question. “I would like that” he replies, pulling you closer into him. You make yourself comfortable and place your hand on his chest lightly. You feel Steve’s breath hitch and you look up to check if he’s okay.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to give you some space?” you ask worriedly. He shakes his head frantically and quickly. “I’m just a little nervous I guess” he admits, trying to avoid eye contact. You smile and a soft blush warms your face. The Steve Rogers was nervous around you.

You gently push yourself up to his level before placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. He sighs in relief at the contact. He searches your eyes before slightly parting his lips to speak. He leans in a little closer before softly whispering to you. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” he asks, anything quieter and you might not have heard him.

You nod and he closes the gap, interlocking his lips with yours. The kiss is sweet and genuine, his touch is soft and delicate. It was easy to tell that right now, Steve only had the purest intentions. Once you part, Steve lets out another sigh of relief. “Your lips taste so sweet” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

As you flip through the pages of the book, you hear a slight shuffle from behind one of the bookcases which causes you to snap your head up in confusion. “Is someone there?” you ask lightly. Suddenly, Loki peers his head around the corner of the bookcase with a nervous smile on his face. “Loki? How long have you been there?” You chuckle. “Not much longer before you came running in. You seemed quite upset and I did not want to bother you.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in here.” you apologize before closing your book and sitting up.

“Please, stay. Don’t let me get in the way of your alone time.” He pleads. “Are you sure? You were here before me and I don’t wanna be a bother to you.” You ask cautiously. “I’m quite okay with sharing the space. That is if you are okay with it.” He proposes. You smile warmly at him and his posture settles, his tense shoulders relaxing a bit. He pulls a book off the shelf without reading the title and sits on the couch across from the one you’re settled on.

“The Little Prince” Loki smiles. “Hm?” you reply in confusion. He then motions to the book in your hands and you continue. “Oh, yeah. It’s one of my favourites actually.” you smile at him. “Is it? I can’t say I’ve ever read that one. What’s it about?” he asks in a genuine tone. “Well, it’s about a little prince who meets a pilot stranded in the desert. The prince tells the pilot that he was born on an asteroid and he recounts many strange encounters from his travels. I don’t want to spoil it much but it is definitely worth reading” you explain passionately. Loki doesn’t take his eyes off of you the whole time, he enjoys watching you explain the things you love.

“Would you mind reading me some of it?” Loki asks boldly. You’re shocked by his sudden boldness but it makes you smile. “I’d love to. Would it be okay if you sat closer? I’m a pretty quiet reader.” You smile. Loki raises his eyebrow at your words and approaches the couch you’re stretched out on.

You quickly sit up and he sits down on the cushion beside you with a soft smile. He hesitantly lifts his hand, wrapping his forearm around both your ankles pulling them back over his lap and gently resting his hand on your leg once you’re settled. You smile at the sudden contact. He nods at you and you reopen the book, landing back on your previous page.

“He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing. The night had fallen. I had let my tools drop from my hands. Of what moment now was my hammer, my bolt, or thirst, or death? On one star, one planet, my planet, the Earth, there was a little prince to be comforted. I took him in my arms and rocked him. I said to him: ‘The flower that you love is not in danger. I will draw you a muzzle for your sheep. I will draw you a railing to put around your flower. I will…’. I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go hand in hand with him once more. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.” You finish the page, glancing up at Loki only to see his eyes filled with a gentle look, a look that sends butterflies to your stomach.

He gently caresses his hand up and down your leg. His touch is light and delicate. “Did… did you like it?” you stutter. He clears his throat before meeting your gaze. “It was beautiful. You read it beautifully.” He smiles. You chuckle before closing the book and looking back up at him. “So do you think you’ll give it a shot?” you ask hesitantly.

“Definitely. Do you mind?” he replies, holding his hand out in front of you. “Not at all. As long as you tell me what you think.” you smile while placing the book in his hand gently. He takes the book and rests it on your legs gently while they still rest on top of his thighs.

“What about you? What’s your favourite book?” you ask, breaking the silence. “I’m afraid my favourite book is one you wouldn’t be able to read. Although, once I can get my hands on a copy of it, maybe I could read it to you.” Loki replies wholeheartedly. “Why wouldn’t I be able to read it?” you chuckle lightly.

“I’m afraid it’s one that hasn’t been translated yet. Unless you are able to read Asgardian, you’re stuck with me.” he chuckles in response. “Hm, you’re right. Asgardian language is not something I’ve learned.” you smile back.

You begin to fiddle with the fabric of the blanket, avoiding eye contact with Loki. “Is something bothering you?” he speaks up. “It’s nothing extreme, I’ll be okay,” you reply, focusing on the blanket that rests on your legs.

“I’ve been told I can be a good listener. You’re free to speak your mind.” Loki states in a comforting tone. You open your mouth in an attempt to speak but you close it once your eyes meet with Loki’s once again. “It’s okay. You can trust me,” he speaks up once again.

Something about Loki’s eye made you think you could trust him with anything. His touch was comforting. Everything about him was just inviting and comforting. You sigh before clearing your throat to speak more clearly.

“Things went badly today, like really badly. I wasn’t paying attention and I didn’t have Nat’s back when I promised I would, she trusted me and I almost got her killed. Fury was really upset afterwards and well… he told me that I let him down. It just really hit hard I guess. I feel like I’m always just letting everyone down.” you reply. Your chest becomes tight as you open up about your feelings, it wasn’t something you did often but Loki really made it feel like it was okay.

“You’ve never let me down.” He replies sternly before reaching over and placing his hand on top of yours. You flinch at the sudden skin-to-skin contact and Loki looks at you in confusion. “I’m sorry… I’m just not used to physical affection I guess.” You sigh. He lifts his hand from yours in worry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He mutters. “Oh no, it’s not that. Trust me, you don’t make me uncomfortable. It’s just new I guess.” you explain before placing your hand on top of his.

He smiles at you warmly. “I can assure you that you don’t let everyone down. I believe you are one of the hardest working people I know. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, believe it or not. You’re excellent at what you do, don’t let this little slip up make you think any different.” Loki continues in an empathetic tone.

Loki flips his hand, entangling your fingers with his as he continues to sympathize with you. “Now I am a firm believer in the fact that no one can completely sympathize with someone else. Everyone goes through things differently. What I do know for sure is that you’re strong, compelling, tender, passionate, might I add, ravishing.” Loki states, his voice filled with honesty. “You… you truly mean that?” you ask in disbelief.

“Yes. I do. It pains me knowing that is hard for you to believe. Just know that I do mean every word.” Loki replies in a dejected tone. You sigh and raise your hand, resting it gently against Loki’s cheek. His skin is soft, it feels delicate and cold.

He leans into your touch, closing his eyes and sighing at the intimate contact. “You’re so kind Loki. There is so much good in your heart.” You reply in honesty. “Excuse my candour, but the good in my heart is mostly for you.” He sighs, his eyes still closed as his head rests in your hand.

He rests there for a moment before opening his eyes again and meeting your gaze. “You’re dangerous.” He sighs, pulling your hand down from his face. You sit up, removing your legs from his lap and crossing them in front of you, confined to a single cushion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” you mutter, looking down at your hands.

Loki sighs and leans forward, holding his head in his hands. “You didn’t overstep. I simply just enjoyed it too much.” He mutters back. “Is that such a back thing?” you question. “It goes against everything that I’ve stood for in these past few years.” He snaps back. “Loki… I don’t understand.” you stammer. “How could you? I myself can’t even understand it.” He snaps again, looking back up at you.

“Maybe, you could explain it to me?” you ask hesitantly. He looks at you in confusion and sighs. “I promised myself that I would not open up to anyone. I refuse to let myself be hurt by anybody, not again. I have felt the pain of betrayal and I can say with certainty that I do not wish to ever feel it again.” He explained in honesty. Your eyes soften and you lean forward, resting your forehead against Loki’s broad shoulder, avoiding eye contact before responding.

“Loki… It can be easy to think everyone’s out to get you when you’ve been hurt before, but instead of being stuck on the pain and everything that went wrong, you must allow yourself the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness can be so strong. Instead of shutting the world out, think of all the people who love you and the people who think highly of you. Thor, for example, adores you with his whole heart. You’re his little brother, whether you like it or not. Think of how you keep trying to be a better person, I know that you’re trying your best to change your ways. You have come such a long way since New York, even then, that wasn’t completely you; let these be reminders that you are a person worthy of love and that you deserve phenomenal love.” you insist, full of care.

Loki sits in silence, he doesn’t reply, his breathing even becomes soft to the point where it’s almost silent. Suddenly, he clears his throat, startling you. “Look at me.” He replies sternly. You hesitantly lift your head and his eyes meet yours. His face is red, tears had flown down his cheeks leaving salty streaks on his delicate skin.

His eyes are a slight pink and his lips are slightly parted, letting out small breaths. Your eyes, full of worry, scan his face frantically. You didn’t even know that he had been crying, he was so silent, almost as if he was experienced in silently sobbing.

Before you can speak again, he swiftly lifts his hands, gently holding each side of your face in his hands. He pulls you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours. His nose delicately brushes against yours as he searches your eyes almost as if he is trying to understand you in a simple gaze. He lets out a shuttered breath against your lips. “Can I?” He whispers softly, almost to the point where it’s unintelligible.

You simply nod before he connects your lips with his, passionately inhaling at the moment of contact like it was something he had been waiting for and needing for a long time. His lips are soft and sweet, his tongue is delicate and swift as his mouth explores yours. His scent wraps around you, filling your nostrils with a warm mix of the burning fireplace, sandalwood and vanilla. Everything about it is comforting, he is comforting.

After a few more moments, you gently pull away, taking a deep breath. He moves his hands down to your shoulders and you tilt your head to look up at him. “I’m going to let you down.” He sighs before looking down, avoiding your eyes. “You won’t let me down Loki,” you state sympathetically.

“No... no.. the thing is, I will, more than once probably.” he sighs again. Before you can protest he continues on. “But, I am greedy. I don’t want to let you go. I give you my word now, I will never… ever, intentionally hurt you. I know that I am not perfect and I know that I am often torn between good and evil, but you, for you, I want to be good.” he stammers, another year flowing down his delicate cheek. You gently place your hand against his cheek, wiping the single tear away and lifting his face up to meet your gaze.

His guard is broken down when his eyes meet yours and he sees the unexpected. He sees sympathy, understanding and care. “We all make mistakes. I promise you that with every mistake you make, I will be there with you along the way to guide you in the right direction. I promise.” you smile weakly. He is unable to hold back his tears at your words, he leans down resting his face in the crook of your neck, letting his cries out but this time they are not silent.

For the first time in a very long time, Loki doesn’t feel the need to muffle and disguise his pain, he feels safe. You gently run your hand across his back, caressing him as he lets out his pain.

Once his sobs become less frequent, he lifts his head to reveal his face. His eyes are redder and his cheeks are flushed pink. His cheeks are tear-stained and salty. As you gently and intricately wipe his tears away, he examines your face. He smiles to himself as he watches the way your eyelashes flutter when you blink, he admires the tone of your lips and how beautifully the colour compliments your skin. He studies your complexion and admires how delicate and beautiful you look in this lighting.

“I was right, you are very dangerous.” Loki chuckles lightly. “Oh yeah? How so?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “You, my dear, have me wrapped around the pretty little finger of yours. You have me wrapped so tightly that I would follow you anywhere, anything you say, I will do. You have me.” he chuckles again softly. You smile, cheeks flushing with pink at his words.

He watches your smile and leans in once again, planting a soft and delicate kiss on your forehead, then down to the tip of your nose, finally landing on your lips, tangling his soft lips with yours. You giggle at the sudden affection and he only smiles wider.

Once he breaks the kiss, he sits back against the back of the loveseat and pats his chest, holding his arm out for you to cuddle underneath. You gently lean in and cozy up against his side as he rests his arm around you, settling with a sigh of comfort and relief. You hesitantly pick up the small book that had fallen between you two in the moment, holding it up to him with a smile.

“You would like me to read?” he asks with a chuckle. “I would love it if you did,” you reply softly. He smiles as he opens the book once again, continuing from the familiar page that you had read to him not too long before. You close your eyes as you listen to the mix of the crackling of the warm fireplace and the hum of Loki’s voice as he reads the book that brings you so much comfort.

Sam gets up from the table and plops down on the living room couch, turning on the TV to watch whatever’s playing. “Whatever happened between you two anyway?” Sam yells from his place on the couch.

You sigh, getting up from the table to join him on the couch. “Nothing specifically happened, ever since we met he’s just been kind of cold towards me. I always assumed it was because he hated me so I was just cold in return” You reply while playing with the hem of your t-shirt.

“Maybe you misunderstood, maybe he doesn’t hate you” Sam chuckles. “Well if he didn’t then, he definitely does now” You reply while resting your head on Sam’s shoulder.

“Think on the bright side, maybe this time together will allow you to fix it, make things better” Sam sighs. “Maybe you’re right, but I doubt he’s interested in fixing anything” You mumble before turning up the TV volume to watch the movie.

***

“He’s here!” Sam yells through the apartment, catching your attention through your closed bedroom door. You hear the door open and a muffled conversation between the two men. “Y/N!” Sam yells again, hinting for you to come out and say hi.

You quickly stand up from your bed and rush over to your bedroom door, throwing your phone onto the bed behind you before opening the door. Once you step out into the hallway you’re greeted by Sam wearing a huge smile. “Be nice” Sam mouths to you before walking back out into the living room.

Once you join them in the living room Bucky can be seen sitting on the couch with Sam beside him, Sam telling him a story about god knows what while Bucky just nods and listens. “Hey Bucky” You mutter, standing behind Sam.

“Hey” he sternly replies back. Sam nudges him and Bucky gives him an annoyed look. “Thanks for agreeing to let me stay here for a while” Bucky mutters again as Sam grins at the civil statement. “It’s no problem” You reply before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water.

“Hey Y/N!” Sam yells from the living room. “Yeah?” You shout back. “Would you be up for a movie night tonight? I rented that new Denzel Washington movie we wanted to watch” Sam replies in an excited tone. You walk back out into the living room, leaning on the wall before replying to Sam.

“Why do I feel like I don’t have a choice?” You chuckle lightly. Bucky looks you up and down with narrow eyes before turning back to Sam and nodding when he asks if he’s in. “You guys up to start the movie around 8?” Sam smiles. “Yeah, I’ll join you guys then” You smile before heading back into your room and flopping down onto the bed.

***

Once 8 o’clock rolled around you sighed and rolled out of bed, walking over to your dresser to pick a good outfit to lounge around in. You pulled out a loose pair of shorts and a not-so-form-fitting t-shirt to keep it comfortable. Once you finish pulling your shirt on, Sam knocks lightly on your bedroom door. “Hey, It’s me” he calls out.

“You can come in” You respond lightly. Sam smiles as he peaks his head in to check on you. “You coming out?” He smiles. “Yeah, I was just changing into something more comfortable” You smile back. You head towards the door walking out with Sam to join Bucky in the living room. He weakly smiles before turning his gaze back towards the TV.

“Should I make popcorn?” You ask Sam. “Well I don’t want any but Bucky might, why don’t you ask him?” Sam chuckles while nudging your shoulder. You sigh before looking over at Bucky, sitting on the couch. “Hey Bucky, you want popcorn?” You mumble. “Hm? Oh yeah sure” he mutters back without looking at you. You nod to yourself before heading back into the kitchen to make the popcorn.

Sam chuckles at your face when you re-enter the kitchen. “Progress” Sam chuckles. “He hates me” You sigh while grabbing the bag of popcorn from the cabinet. “He doesn’t hate you Y/N. He’s just quiet” Sam replies sympathetically. “Yeah.. quietly hating me” You chuckle. “You’ll warm up to each other, I know it” Sam smiles before walking back out to the living room.

You take a deep breath before joining the two back in the living room. Sam pats the spot beside him and you smile. You hand Bucky the bowl of popcorn and he simply nods in response, taking it from your hands. You turn off the light before plopping down next to Sam on the couch.

***

Sam’s breathing soon becomes deeper and you look over to see him asleep peacefully, head resting on the back of the couch. Bucky seems to also be asleep so you gently push yourself off the couch and tiptoe over to the balcony, pushing the glass door open and slowly closing it behind you to avoid waking Sam and Bucky.

You lean against the balcony railing and let out a deep sigh. A pressured feeling fills your chest and warm tears begin to fill your eyes, creeping down your cheeks leaving a chilling trail behind. Your breaths become more ragged and you use all your energy to keep your sobs silent in fear of waking the boys. You bring your hand to your cheek, wiping away the trails of tears that had fallen down your cheek.

“Why are you crying?” A voice asks from behind you. You snap your head around only to be met with his deep blue eyes. His hair was messy and he looked tired, skin flushed with a light pink almost like he was nervous. “I’m not” you mutter back. He slowly approaches you, leaning on the balcony railing beside you sighing as he looks out at the city.

“I wasn’t asleep, I saw you crying” he mutters back, keeping his gaze on the city in front of him. You let out a light gasp at his candour. “You were watching me?” You whisper, watching his side profile as he admires the city. “You seemed upset. I guess I was curious” he replies

Without a reply, you sigh and look back out to the city. He glances over at you with a sympathetic gaze. “So why are you crying?” He requested. You look back to him, meeting his gaze. Before you can look any longer he snaps his head back towards the city, avoiding eye contact.

“I guess I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t sleep and fresh air felt like the best remedy for both. It wasn’t” You reply honestly. “Why are yo-“ Bucky begins but is cut off by you. “Why do you hate me?” You blurt out. He looks over at you in pure confusion.

“Hate you?” He whispers. “Yeah. Why do you hate me? Did I do something? If I did, I’m sorry” you spit out, slightly rambling. “I don’t hate you Y/N” he sternly replies. You sigh and hold your head in your hands, massaging your temples in an attempt to relieve your stress.

“You’re stressing yourself out” he sternly sympathizes. “Yeah. I tend to do that a lot” you chuckle. He meets your gaze and you lightly smile at him. He tries to look away but can’t pull himself away from looking into your eyes. “Don’t smile at me like that” he mutters. Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion. “Like what?” You hesitantly ask. “I don’t deserve a smile like that” he replies in a whisper.

“Bucky…” you begin but he cuts you off. “Don’t. Don’t do that” he sternly replies, slightly raising his voice. “Don’t what? I want to help” you reply, mimicking his volume. “I can’t let you. I can’t accept your sympathy” Bucky mutters, slightly moving away from you. “But why?” You mutter back, voice slightly shaky.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you” he blurts out. “I have hurt so many people. More than you can count. Out of all the people in this world, you are one that I don’t want to hurt” he snapped. You look at him in pure confusion. All this time it always felt like Bucky hated you with every bone in his body.

His eyes soften when he sees your confusion and he lets out a sigh. “You really thought I hated you… didn’t you?” he sighs. “Well… yeah. How could I not think that?” You question softly. He sighs yet again and wipes his hand over his face before turning to you.

“I was afraid that if I let myself get close to you, that you would somehow get hurt. My best idea was to push you away and be distant, to keep you safe.” He stated. “After a while you became distant as well so I assumed that you hated me for what I was doing” he stammered.

“I just assumed you hated me, so I tried to grow cold towards you. It only became harder when you and Sam got closer.” You mutter in response. “When Sam told me you were coming to stay here I became worried because I thought you hated me and I would have to spend a bunch of time in my room so you and Sam could have your time together.” You gulp, replying honestly.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. That was the opposite of what I wanted to do.” Bucky stammers, his face growing redder and eyes becoming glassy. He begins to stutter over his words and his voice becomes less clear. A single tear streams down his cheek as he tries to talk.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. Don’t push yourself. Take your time” you sympathize, keeping your voice as comforting as possible. “Is it okay if I touch you?” You ask gently, searching his eyes as you wait for an answer.

He nods as he presses his lips together, more warm tears staining his cheeks as you get closer. You gently rest your hand on his forearm and he sighs in relief at your touch. “I’m so sorry” he trembles.

“You don’t have to be. You were doing what you thought was best. Even though your plan was stupid.” You chuckle slightly, brushing your hand over his skin to comfort him. He chokes out a chuckle in response and nods. “You’re right… you’re always right” he replies.

You hesitantly bring your hand up to his face, wiping the tears that were staining his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry” you whisper. “I want to help Bucky. Do you want space?” You ask lightly. You slowly remove your hand from his arm, assuming he wants space. He quickly places his hand on top of yours, pressing it back into his skin. “Please, don’t leave me alone.” He stutters, voice filled with sadness and worry.

“Okay. Okay. I’m not going anywhere. Just take deep breaths with me.” You smile warmly. He sighs, keeping his hand pressed against yours, gently brushing his thumb back and forth against the back of your hand, taking in the softness of your skin. He follows your deep breaths as you comfort him with your touch. Once his breathing becomes regular and his eyes dry up slightly, he gently clears his throat breaking the silence that fills the air.

“I don’t want to do it anymore,” Bucky whispers. “Do what?” You ask gently. “I don’t want to spend any more time pushing you away.” He replies hesitantly. You smile at him once again, his eyes soften and his pupils dilate. “You don’t have to.” You smile back.

“Keep smiling at me like that.” He pleads, a smile creeping upon his lips. Your gaze fixates on his lips and he slightly leans closer. His eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips. “If I kiss you now… I will only want more.” He states in honesty. “I know that if I get the chance to kiss you once, It’ll make me want it for a lifetime.” He mutters.

A gust of wind swirls the air, rippling through the fabric of your clothing, sending a shiver down your spine. “Are you cold?” He asks gently. “Maybe a little, but I don’t wanna go anywhere. I wanna stay in this moment.” You stutter. He lightly chuckles at your honesty and smiles.

Bucky hesitantly lifts his metal arm, wrapping it around you, pulling you closer into his chest. You rest your head against the soft fabric of his shirt and listen to his steady heartbeat as he traces circles against your back. “Can I be honest with you?” He asks gently, the hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.

“Always” you reply softly. “You are the only person that I want to be close to” he states. Your heart fills with warmth as you pull your head from his chest, looking up into his eyes. “Really?” You ask in disbelief. “I could never lie to you” he chuckles.

You’re unable to fight the smile that creeps up on your face, your cheeks turning pink from his words. He smiles back at you as he lifts his arm, holding his hand under your chin and pulling you up to his lips. His scent wrapped itself around you filling your airway with the smell of cedarwood and eucalyptus. His lips were soft but the stubble on his face tickled your skin in the most perfect way. You pull away, admiring his face and he sighs at the loss of contact.

“Don’t pull away, not just yet” he smiles before pulling you in for another kiss. His lips are warm and when they’re entangled with yours, your entire body feels warm. You place your hand against his chest and he pulls away with a smile. He chuckles to himself when his eyes meet yours once again. “What’s so funny?” You smile.