all places are marvelous, gabrielle

“for $100,000, ya don’t kill off rock hudson.”

“for a while there i thought i was gonna spoil your game.” “not a chance, lieutenant.”

“what are you, uh, undercover or something?” “no, i'm underpaid.”

“this happens to be lieutenant columbo of the lapd who is your everyday, average, typical, downtrodden american husband, don't you agree?“

“well, you should know about good wine. it goes with the heritage.” “well, i guess i kind of messed up in that department. i’m gonna tell ya something else, uh, i’m probably the only italian in the world who can’t sing either.”

“do i know you?” “you don’t know me, ma’am, but i sure know you. every time i shave, there you are. it’s a pleasure.”

“bum! you’re a bum! putting your stinking cigar butt in this silver antique dish! do you see this?” “i thought it was an ashtray.”

“innuendo. insinuation. circumstantial trivia.” “that could be true, sir, but if you put it all together maybe the grand jury will feel differently.”

“okay, you win. you’re finally rid of me.” “you’ll be all right, lieutenant. i’m sure you’ll find others to harass.”

“are you still wearing that tie? you know, ever since i met you you've been wearing this stupid thing. edith, haven't you got a decent tie around here?”

“that's big ben isn't it? boy, that's terrific. thing that old, it's only a minute slow.“

"i thought i struck a chord or something.” “no columbo, you struck out. now will you please go find somebody else to pester?”

"listen, if i arrested everybody with an unregistered weapon in los angeles, believe me, i’d have half the population in jail.”

"but that’s me, i’m paranoiac. every time i see a dead body, i think it’s been murdered.”

"lieutenant, anybody ever tell you you're very much like an arachnid?" "a what?" "a tick. they're quite common but excessively tenacious. they hang on. they let go only under extreme prodding."

“and i'll tell ya what -- good cigar. this is one area that i do know about.”