O L I V I A

love Keanu Reeves

Stage 1 — Dating:

“Will you go out with me?”

“What do you say? You and me, that great pizza place downtown, tonight?”

“You look— amazing tonight.”

“Just one date. I promise. You won’t regret it.”

“I had an amazing time tonight. I’d love to do it again, sometime.”

“I know we’ve only just met, but I’d really like to take you out tonight.”

“I promise, I’m usually better at this—”

“This is my favorite restaurant. You’re gonna love it.”

“Wow, you look even better than your online profile.”

“It’s so amazing to finally meet you, in person.”

“Do you— wanna come upstairs/inside?”

“I can walk you home, if you’d like.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d show up. But I’m glad you did.”

“I was starting to think you’d stood me up.”

“Oh, God, my ex is here.”

“So, do I get a goodnight kiss?”

“I’m not great at first impressions, am I?”

“I know we’ve been on two dates this week, already— but how about another?”

“Whoa, that is off-limits until, like, the tenth date!”

“Wait, you’ve really never been on a date before?”

Stage 2 — Love/Intimacy:

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Please— just kiss me.”

“I don’t want you to go. Stay the night?”

“More, please—”

“Come a little closer— please.“

“Do you think you might be ready— to take the next step?”

“I didn’t know what real happiness was until I met you.”

“I love you more.”

“God, you are so perfect.”

“Stop— you’re making me blush.”

“Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love you more—you do this.”

“Do you love me?”

“I know it’s soon, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“I’ve been in love with you for months—I was just too scared to admit it.”

“Just one more kiss—okay, one more—just one mo—”

So—how do you say ‘I love you’ in your mother tongue?”

“I’m sorry— I’m just not ready for sex, yet.”

“My roommate is out of town—why don’t you just stay over?”

“So, I was googling ideas for our date. I found something called Netflix & Chill—I think we should do that.”

“I think we should move-in together.”

Stage 3 — Marriage Proposal:

“_____, will you marry me?”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I always thought that marriage was just a shame— but with you, I think it’s worth it.”

“Remember that time when (insert significant moment)? It got me thinking.”

“So, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for awhile now.”

“I’ve been carrying this around in my pocket for a month, waiting for the right time. There is no right moment. So, I’m just going to go ahead and ask right now.”

“You make me a better person, and I want that forever.”

“Let’s run away together. Elope. Sounds like an adventure.”

“Dammit, my hands are shaking. Hold on, I’m super nervous.”

“Can we talk about this in private?”

“Why are you kneeling?”

“Is that a—?!”

“I–I don’t know what to say?”

“I thought you didn’t want to get married.”

“I knew there was a reason you were acting funny all day!”

“So, what’s the occasion? You never plan dates this fancy.”

“I know I said I didn’t want to settle down, but—”

“I asked your dad for your hand in marriage. Now, it’s time to ask you.”

“Of course I’ll marry you. Did you think I’d say ‘no’?”

“If this is about the baby— don’t do this. That’s not a good reason to get married.”

Stage 4 — Wedding & Honeymoon:

“I’m so nervous I could throw up. Someone get me a drink!”

“Please, get some sleep. Our big day is tomorrow. It’s gonna be amazing!”

“I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow.”

“Nah, omens are fake. No one believes that stuff. Tomorrow is gonna be perfect.”

“I promise I’m not getting cold feet, I’m just really nervous my ex is going to show up and ruin everything.”

“I do—”

“We’re married! We’re actually married now. I get to call you my husband/wife forever!”

“I know the guests are waiting at the reception—but I need a few minutes alone with my new wife/husband. Come here, you—”

“Do you think we’d get in trouble for skipping our own reception? I can’t wait to get out of here and start our honeymoon!”

“I know it’s supposedly bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding— but how do I look?”

“Pop the champagne! Let’s get this party started!”

“I know this day has been a disaster from the start—but I’ve never been happier, now that you’re mine.”

“I’m gonna cry—”

“I’d like to propose a toast to my bride/groom—”

“Wow—you look stunning!”

“Don’t panic— but I the best man/maid of honor is MIA.”

“This day has been perfect. I hope the rest of our lives together is just as amazing.”

“Last night was amazing. I’m glad we waited until we were married.”

“Let’s just stay in bed all day. Order room service. Maybe have a bubble bath. I have you all to myself, now.”

Stage 5 — Domestic Life:

“The food is not burnt. It’s—slightly toasted.”

“Tampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?”

“What do you mean, you lost the keys? This is the third time this week.”

“Change the channel, and I will kill you. I’ve been waiting for this show all day.”

“My underwear are all bright pink, now. Thank you for that.”

“Did you forget to walk the dog? He just made a puddle on the floor.”

“You, me, PJ’s, bed. PJ’s are totally optional, by the way.”

“I know you don’t like my parents, but we have to visit them sometime.”

“How about we never mention this situation again?”

“You should call the doctor about that. Don’t try to macho your way through it.”

“So, I got all the groceries. Except for this last one on the list. Is that an actual word, or did you just scribble something random with your elbow?”

“Did you steal my shirt again?”

“I made dinner. Your favorite.”

“Wait—you want me to wear that? In bed? It doesn’t cover anything!”

“I just bought this dress/shirt/etc at the store today. How do I look?”

“You look tense. You want a massage?”

“I just started a bath. Care to join me?”

“Thank you for taking care of the laundry.”

“Did you pay the bills today? I don’t get paid until tomorrow.”

“I couldn’t sleep either. Want me to make you some tea?”

Stage 6 — Pregnancy & Birth:

“I think I want to start a family, now.”

“What do you say we make a baby tonight?”

“What do you mean, you stopped taking your birth control?!”

“I’m out of condoms. Are you sure you still want to do this?”

“So—if we were to hypothetically have a baby, how would you react?”

“I took a pregnancy test today.”

“Have you been to the doctor yet, about that stomach bug?”

“You’re pregnant!? How far along?”

“When were you gonna tell me you were pregnant?”

“We haven’t told _____, yet. We should call them.”

“Who do you think we should name the godparents?”

“How are you feeling? Need me to rub your back? Get you something to eat? Turn the air down?”

“What do you think about (insert baby name), for a girl— or (insert baby name) for a boy?”

“Do you want to feel them? They’re kicking up a storm, right now.”

“Did you hear that? They said we’re having a boy/girl!”

“Please don’t freak out, but I’m pregnant— I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT!”

“I think my water just broke!”

“We need to go to the hospital. Now!”

“Just squeeze my hand. It’s gonna be alright. I’m here.”

“One more push! You can do it!”

Stage 7 — Children:

“They have your eyes—”

“Can you run to the store? We’re out of diapers, again.”

“Is it even possible for one baby to scream so much?”

“Ugh, they spit up on my good shirt.”

“They’re your kid before 5am.”

Shhh—they’re finally asleep.”

“I’ve been up since 4am. It’s your turn.”

“We make damn beautiful babies, don’t we?”

“The kids won’t stop fighting, again.”

“_____ got sent home from school for fighting.”

“_____ came home sick today. Great.”

“How do they outgrow their clothes so damn fast?”

“Their first word better not be a curse word. If it is, it’s your fault.”

“I think we’re damn good parents.”

“Why are both you, AND the baby, crying?”

“Can you help _____ with their homework tonight, while I make dinner?”

“It’s your turn to change the dirty diaper.”

“Is locking the kids in the closet—against the law?”

“No. She’s not allowed to date. Ever. End of discussion.”

Made a list of all the AU’s I could think of. Used to help me when I have no ideas, decided it could help others and I should post it. It took a few weeks to fill it out this extensively and I have no more interest in adding to it, so please don’t bother suggesting anything （；￣д￣）

A

Accidental Marriage AU

Actor AU

Alien AU

Amnesia AU

Android AU

Angel/Demon AU

Animal AU

Apocalypse AU

Arranged Marriage AU

Artist AU

Art Student AU

Assassin AU

Athlete AU

Author AU

Avian (Bird People) AU

B

Babysitter AU

Bakery AU

Ballet AU

Band AU

Bartender/Bar AU

Beach AU

Blind AU

Blind Date AU

Bodyguard AU

Book Store AU

Bounty Hunter AU

Brothel AU

C

Caterer AU

Camp Counselor AU

Camping AU

Carnival AU

Castaway AU

Celebrity AU

CEO/Boss AU

Chef AU

Child AU

Choir AU

Circus AU

Clothing Shop AU

Club AU

Coffee Shop AU

College AU

Conductor AU

Choreographer AU

Coworker AU

Criminal AU

Cult AU

Cyborg AU

D

Dancer AU

Dead/Death AU

Deaf AU

Demigod AU

Demon Hunter AU

Detective AU

Dimension Hoping AU

DJ AU

Doctor AU

Domestic AU

Dragon AU

Drama Class AU

E

Enemies AU

Ex AU

F

Fairy AU

Fake Dating/Engagement/Marriage AU

Fashion/Fashion Designer AU

Fire Fighter AU

Forbidden Love AU

Fugitive AU

G

Gang AU

Gardener/Gardening AU

Ghost AU

H

Hairstylist AU

Haunted House AU

Hero/Villain AU

High School AU

High School Reunion AU

Historical AU

Horror AU

Hospital AU

Hunger Games AU

I

Immortal AU

J

Judge AU

Jury Duty AU

K

Kidnapper/Kidnapped AU

L

Lawyer AU

Library AU

Lifeguard AU

M

Mafia AU

Maid AU

Magician AU

Magic AU

Marriage AU

Mechanic AU

Medieval AU

Mermaid AU

Military AU

Model AU

Modern AU

Monster/Monster Hunter/Monster Tamer AU

Murder Mystery AU

Musical AU

Musician AU

N

Neighbor AU

Ninja AU

Nurse AU

O

Office AU

Officer (Police) AU

O/B/A AU

P

Parallel Universe AU

Parametric AU

Paranormal Investigator AU

Parent AU

Pen Pal AU

Pet Store AU

Photographer AU

Pirate AU

Podcast AU

Porn Star AU

Prisoner AU

Prank War AU

Prostitute AU

Q

—

R

Reality TV Show AU

Reporter AU

Restaurant AU

Resurrection AU

Road Trip AU

Roll Reversal AU

Room Mate AU

Rival AU

Royalty AU

S

Scientist AU

Serial Killer AU

Servant AU

Sick AU

Social Media AU

Soulmate AU

Space AU

Spy AU

Stalker AU

Stranger AU

Street Racing AU

Stripper AU

Student AU

Survival AU

T

Tattoo Shop AU

Teacher AU

Theater AU

Thief AU

Time Travel AU

U

Undead AU

Undercover Cop AU

V

Vacation AU

Vampire/Vampire Hunter AU

Veterinarian AU

W

Waiter AU

War AU

Wedding Planner AU

Werewolf AU

Wild West AU

Witch AU

Wizard AU

X

—

Y

Yandere AU

Youtuber AU

Z

Zookeeper AU