I am Esther. Hear me roar

*lecture on anatomy of the eye veers off into discussion on LBGTQ parades * Russian Professor (scratching head in confusion): "girls, how we reached parade from eye?"

"Sorry girls, just give me a minute, I'm having a hot flash."

"We're going to be having our break a little later today bc I promised another professor that I would help him jumpstart his car."

Russian Bio Prof: "Putin did Botox."

Russian Bio Prof: “Mendeleev was a great Russian scientist who invented the periodic table, but more importantly, it was he who discovered Vodka.”

I have caught travel fever.

Hospitals are rather inhospitable, I decide. This one night is a lesson in endurance. It’s appropriate coming on the heels of the 7 omer weeks, a lesson finally driven home. Funny how one night of harsh reality can instill what 49 nights of theory failed to accomplish.

It's the little things. To me, victory means moving forward. It matters not how large the step, so long as there is progress. Every day brings a series of little challenges. Let them go by, and that's what they remain--pesky annoyances that you didn't have the patience to deal with, so you let them go. Conquer them, and you've turned the hurdle into a medal. Win the little battle, and you'll win a new piece in the puzzle of your identity. Push yourself to surmount the challenge, and witness the revolution. Change isn't a massive, one-off event. It's a series of barely susceptible shiftings, the product of gritting your teeth and fighting through everyday difficulties. And with every victory, you unlock another bit of the massive potential that lies within. Go forth!

“The only way out is through.”

When the math teacher is rabidly anti-Zionistic and rips an Israeli flag off the blackboard before calmly proceeding to explain quadratic equations.

When the English lesson somehow morphs into a Kallah class, and the Professor spends 45 minutes bemoaning the shidduch crisis before dismissing the class half hour early with dark warnings not to reject younger men.

When you reference Tetris in a class discussion, and the teacher and all the students look at you in confusion. "Tetris? What's that?" "You know, the old electronic game, where you have to strategically place these colorful, interlocking shapes?" "Oh, the one where they fall down randomly?" "Yeah, that." And class resumes. All I can say is, thank Gd I didn't bring up Atari.

When your math teacher explains irrational numbers, well, irrationally: "For example, If this irrational number is a Breslov Chassid, and this one is Skver, they wouldn't attend the same shule."

When the Comp 1 professor distributes colorful lollipops at the start of class, because she thinks they’re a nice shape.

When your BFF is dismissed from class 2 hours early because her professor just had oral surgery and left the classroom after 15 minutes.

When there are a grand total of 3 girls in your Comp 1 class–yourself included,

When the English professor falls asleep during class, and you can’t focus on your diagnostic essay because her snoring is disruptive.