There was a tapping, an unfamiliar beating in Sloaneās chest that could have been a range of emotions she didnāt feel often. Fear maybe, fear of what this conversation was leading to, and whether or not their friendship was officially being buried under the ground below them. Nervousness, taking the wrong turn on a two way road as it seemed that Sloane couldnāt do or say anything right, and even when she tried Charlotte found the worst in her actions. Affectionate, that was the scariest of all possibilities, because affection meant weakness. She couldnāt explain it, but even when Charlotte was completely frustrating her, she still wanted to be close.Ā
Struck by Charlotteās reasoning, Sloane squinted her eyes at the girl though she probably couldnāt see much in the lighting. āI didnāt mean to hurt you. At all.ā Sloane considered taking her wand out and illuminating the room, but she didnāt want Charlotte to see her face so fully, her eyes, and quite frankly she was afraid to see hers. āI was just-I was trying to get you to stop for a fucking minute, I was trying to talk to you and you just kept going. For what? For what?ā Sloaneās hands shot outward questioningly, she needed to know what had happened with them. Or mostly, she needed to know why nothing was happening with them, even if she had assumptions she needed to know for sure, she needed to hear it from Charlotte.Ā
Sloaneās jaw clenched, she wanted to spit more hate, more rage and frustration at Charlotte because she didnāt see how much the situation got to her. Sloane was known for being the strong one, the tough one, nothing hurt her and no feeling was permanent. But right now, standing only a few feet away from Charlotte, she was angry. She understood that Charlotte was confused, but so was she, she was feeling everything Charlotte was and she didnāt know how to speak out on it anyway. She was hurting too, but she wasnāt allowed to, so she looked straight and hard at the girl, her chest rising and falling like the flares of her nostrils. āFine." the word gritted through her teeth, forced itself out of her throat like a growl. "Keep avoiding it. Keep avoiding me, and I wonāt hurt you anymore." Her voice was low and husky, the dark hair curving over her eye still couldnāt hide her restraint.
Her fists were subconsciously balled at her sides but she stretched out her fingers, turning to the door she grabbed the knob and stood there, caught between the sounds of their breathing and the faded music. The song sounded like a range of voices, muffled but still trying to tell her something, Sloane shook her head to rid of them. She couldnāt bring herself to leave, not like this, not again. In a fast motion she flung her body to the side, hitting against shelves with her fist, things falling around them. She grabbed her face and rubbed. āPlease donāt.ā she stood sharp in front of Charlotte, her voice low and weak, like a part of her was taking root of her body. She ran a hand through her hair, and her eyebrows loosened. In her slump body, her weak hanging shoulders, in her eyes was every feeling. Fear, so much fear, nerves tip toeing up her spine, and the worst kind of affection. āDonāt avoid me.ā she was so close now to the other girl, finally looking straight into her. In a hushed whisper, a plead, Sloane spoke, āStop avoiding me.āĀ
