Essays For Myself

Try you're hardest.

Everything is ok if you tried your hardest.

What does this mean?

Never feel like I've done my best or tried my hardest.

I feel like always could have done more.

I mean exemplars in mainstream media and cultural consciousness show that even if shot we should keep fighting. In The Pursuit of Happiness the lead gets hit by a car & is expected to go back to work. HIT BY A CAR! and its admired that he "kept going" (and he would have been fired if he hadn't) Kept pursuing that happiness.

"Wanted it bad enough" seems to equal wanted it enough to sacrifice your own well being.

And that also shows up in doing your best & trying your hardest as putting aside your own well being.

I keep thinking to myself what a messed up economy the U.S. has.

People keep saying the most ignorant shit in promoting their conspiracy theories and we have so few people anymore who can logic that is scares the crap out of me.  I think of it as the witch hunter logic

If  [insert allegation here] wasn’t true, why would [insert accused here] try and stop the media from publishing it. 

What?!? Tell me that same person using that argument wouldn’t be up in arms if anyone was reporting false facts about them.  

Who wouldn’t protest or try to block negatives about themselves from being put into today’s media mill, especially given how clickbait twisted headlines have become, how few times articles are actually read to see if the headline is even appropriate, how how quickly these things go viral. 

 What I hear echoing in my head when I hear this kind of nonsense is:

If the woman drowns she’s innocent, if she survives she’s a witch and we kill her. 

So many people make me so angry and frustrated right now.  It’s all me me me and everyone is out to get us.  

So many arguments on so many topics all really boil down to

I refuse to change my habits/ way of doing thing to adapt to new circumstance

Because I want to do it a certain way and circumstances have “always” let me do it this way (up until now) it must always remain this way

because we’ve always done it this way is not a strong argument.

Historically we’ve always done something some way until it changed and there’s always been people who wailed against it and then, most of them came to like the advantages of the new ways and declared them the “way we’ve always” done things and begin to cling to those

in schools - slates to pencils

no phone - party line - land line - cell phone

no tv - tv - black and white - color - cable - streaming

horses - buggies - cars

indoor plumbing

no electricity - gas lamps - electricity in homes

anyone other than white males being citizens and having rights  

These have all been monumental leaps and protested with “i won’t and you can’t make me and this is wrong”  Which of you will give up all of these advancements because “I want my old way of doing things to be the only way for everyone forever”  

Sometimes my problem is it takes all of Saturday to wind down then I'd really like Sunday to be relaxing or do stuff for me but Monday looms so ugly in front of me and requires prep work that everything else gets squeezed out or tainted.

I'm pretty sure it's a perception thing and probably? not everyone is effected this way or maybe they just don't admit it because, you know "that's just how it is. Why bother to think about it?".

One of the hardest things for me is when there is no "why".

Out of the blue I just remembered that entertainment on planes used to be just one inflight movie for all the passengers to watch at the same time not individual entertainment systems with a large selection that individuals choose from at their leisure.

YOU'RE LEARNING

When writing a description for your short story is taking "too long" or longer than it "should" remember: creating a reader attracting description is a skill and this is your 1st time.

I love many people but I'm not sure about myself.