Take My Hand, I'll Lead You to the Promised Land.

Oniisama.

I w--

[ASHWATTHAMA COMES IN AND JUST FUCKING TRAINWRECKS YOU IMMEDIATELY.]

So what?! It’ll still be authentic! Even if you totally screw it up, it’ll still be Italian! You at least know how to make it, right? If you don’t, how can you truly be an Italian warlord?!

Come, come, let’s go to the kitchen, I want to see how you do it.

-She’s just inviting herself in.-

Lucky for you, I was not summoned as a Berserker! But your other assumption is correct! 

Why would I be out of my mind? You are my closest link to delicious ravioli dinner. Who else could I possibly ask? Are you saying you are unfit for the job?

I mean, proximity wise, I... honestly cannot doubt your reasoning.

?

You’re absolutely serious.  

Make me some ravioli, and I will reward you with riches beyond your wildest dreams.

-She’s dead serious.-

Hey, you!

You’re my Retainer’s Italian brother or something, yeah?

-After a small eternity of Italian hollering and increasingly rude hand gestures, da Vinci finally seems sated. Her bloodthirst has been slaked. She takes a huge breath, and gives a sigh like a huge weight has lifted off her shoulders.-

Whew! Thanks for listening. I feel a lot better now.

……

But watch your back. I know where you live, Giorno Giovanna.

Well...

Clearly you... do... 

-But how can you get more Italian than Leonardo da Fucking Vinci?-

-She’s also here. And ready to give him a piece of her mind over probably fucking nothing. It is time for a good old fashioned boisterous Italian argument. Hope you’ve brushed up on your 15th century Florentine dialect, Giorno! It’s what all modern Italian is based off of, after all!-

-No, no you cannot.  He’s technically Japanese-British but he fakes it so well.  Even if he is ready, he is not emotionally ready for the sudden onslaught of he’s not entirely sure.  He looks for Buccellati for an out.  Maybe Fugo?  Fugo might enjoy this.  Narancia could provide a diversion.  Mista could in theory but there’s no Mista RPer to save him now.  Abbacchio would do nothing.-

-He knows what she’s saying yet he knows nothing at all.-

-Minutes pass.  He’s dissociating mildly.-