Fight me, you ceramic bitch

do you think straight people understand what a mammal is

a hundred years of animations have taught us that no

they’ll tell me to take a biology class cuz im trans and then turn around and put tits on a duck

This has to be one of the funniest bits of internet commentary I’ve ever read

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

My only tactic for playing pokemon is to be 20lvls higher than the opponent.

god please send me a man who likes putting face masks on and doing skincare routines with me amen

fuck puberty the real sign you’ve entered adulthood is going from fanfiction.net to archiveofourown 

does it scare you that in less than 3 months it’ll be 2014

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[gently places a single crisp autumn leaf atop my instant noodles] garnished

do you eat the leaf or is it just for decoration

i only eat the leaf. the noodles are the garnish

spanks my own ass just to feel something

anime is confirmed bad tbh, except for the animes that i, personally, like

sometimes you just gotta indulge your inner 13yo and play online dress up games for 3 hours straight