the true king

There’s actually several reasons why I’ve been inactive, some of which are specifically tied to this blog, and some of which aren’t. So I’ll just kind of. Go over all of them below. In chronological order of when these problems started cropping up.

#1: Most of y’all are oblivious to this because I’m the dummy who decided to be active on Twitter, but there was a huge blow up in the Infinity Train fandom on there shortly after the art gallery exhibition. I don’t really want to discuss it here, but it was bad, and it kind of killed my drive for participating in the fandom in general.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Infinity Train. This isn’t actually a case of a full main fandom switch in which I’ve dropped my previous main fandom entirely (which I’ll explain more later) but my motivation to create things for it, especially when it comes to writing (my writing motivation is very fickle anyway and is easily affected by things like this) kind of went out the window.

You’d think that problem would’ve resolved eventually, but it kind of hasn’t? The fandom’s... died, a little bit, since that incident. And with it my hope for getting anymore of Infinity Train went out the window. So... my motivation never really came back.

As a sidenote to this one, the Infinity Train RPC also kind of disappeared off the face of the earth shortly before this happened, and I was already struggling with that because while I do love crossovers, it’s always easier to maintain a blog when I have other canons to bounce off of as well.

#2: I’m gonna be completely honest. Tumblr roleplay has been stressing me out lately. My motivation to write long-form roleplay replies has slowly been trickling out the window for a little bit now, maybe because I’ve been writing the same muse for so long, and it’s made it hard for me to reply quickly except for certain threads that I still had really high muse for.

And that was making me really anxious because I felt bad that I was taking so long to reply to everything else. I also felt like I was dropping too many threads, that people were gonna start getting annoyed with me for all the draft purges I inevitably ended up having to do.

On top of that, I’m also horrible at plotting. There’s no sugarcoating that. Unless you come to me with an idea first, or I had a more general idea beforehand, it’s not gonna work. Which is a problem, because Tumblr roleplay honestly works better with some kind of plot outline.

So, where have I been since I’ve been gone? ‘Cause I haven’t stopped roleplaying. Well, the first answer is Discord. Some similar problems can be encountered there, but like... I’m less anxious about it because the people I write with on Discord are close friends who are used to me being slow, and used to us not always being able to finish roleplays.

The second answer is a little more out there. I’ve been roleplaying on Roblox again. Specifically on a game called Revamp Project, which surprisingly has a lot of decent roleplayers! This is more short-form roleplay because the Roblox chat has a character limit, plus it has a visual aspect which has always been something I liked about roleplaying on Roblox. The community I’ve gotten involved in on Revamp Project is actually really nice, and it is still a form of literate RP, it’s just usually no more than a paragraph per-post and it involves a LOT more improv because you never know who you’re gonna run into.

And tbh, I think that’s the kind of roleplay I prefer.

#3: And here’s the one y’all were expecting! I’ve been bouncing around hyperfixations again! But not quite in the same way as usual. So, like, the thing with Infinity Train happened. THEN, the announcement was made that one of my favorite RPG horror games, and one of my previous main fandoms, is getting a remake. Obviously I then had to replay said game, which resulted in me falling headfirst back into that fandom!

HOWEVER, surprisingly, I did not switch fully. I ended up juggling it with Infinity Train. Which was really nice tbh.

And then Deltarune chapter 2 happened. And I loved it. It didn’t become a main hyperfixation immediately because I didn’t think I had gotten attached to any of the characters in quite the way that makes me switch (keywords being “I didn’t think”), but I started consuming a lot more content for it, and it wormed it’s way up to being at the top of my secondary fandoms.

AND THEN I DISCOVERED THE SNOWGRAVE ROUTE. And all of a sudden I realized that whoops! I might be a little bit attached to Noelle, actually! And also Berdly slightly don’t @ me. SO. Funny story. I’ve actually been writing post-Snowgrave Noelle a whole bunch on Discord and Roblox lately.

But the thing is, I’m still more or less juggling three fandoms. Deltarune has most of my attention at the moment, but I guarantee you if I was to replay Ib again, or rewatch a season of Infinity Train, I’d be right back down those rabbit holes. And considering my issues with Tumblr RP in general, the fact that I’m honestly not confident enough to join the Deltarune RPC, and my inability to juggle blogs very well... my current situation just isn’t working with being active on here atm.

And, that’s pretty much it! Thank you if you actually read all of that. I know it’s a lot, but I felt like it needed to be said. I can’t swear that I’ll come back, but I also can’t swear that I won’t.