Esmei˖⊹

Some girls weren’t hitting their stunts. Some were secretly texting their boyfriends thinking you couldn’t see them. Some flat out just laid on the turf like they didn’t even wanna bother with practice.

You huffed a frustrated breath out. It was nearing the end of the year. All the girls ran out of passion for the cheer team. And honestly? So did you.

“Practice’s over!” You started grabbing your bag. Already over whatever this mess of a cheer team. If you could even call it that.

You wanted to be angry. You should be. You were captain. You practically built this team. College was hard enough but having to keep nineteen girls in check till next season was something you weren’t prepared for.

You were good at being captain without all this burnout. You knew all the stunts and you could execute it perfectly. Ellie knew it too.

The girl who auburn hair lurked in the background. Watching practices from the bleachers when she thought nobody noticed her but of course, everybody did.

The girls on your team teased you everytime those mossy eyes were caught looking up your skirt, or eyeing the pencil that twiddled between your lip and teeth.

“Hey! Captain, I think you have a shadow.” You knew you had a shadow. A part of you wanted it to stay that way but the other, it was curious.

You knew her name, Ellie Williams. It rolled off your tongue after a few girls on the team told you all about her. They used words like…

“Quiet”

“Dorky”

“Weird”

Even heard the taunting, “Virgin” through the whispers of the campus walls. Though it only fueled the pit of curiosity inside of you.

The sun went down, casting a hue of purples and blues across the sky. You admired the view as you walked back to your dorm. You almost make it to your door before a head of brunette hair fills your vision.

Ah. One of the girls from the team. You were half certain this one’s name was Bella.

She excitedly bounced up to you. Clearly tipsy as she almost trips over her sneakers. She was one of the newer girls. Still settling into college, trying every drink in sight because of “the experience”.

You hated it. All of it. The experience. The cheering for football boys who were bullshit. The going class to class all to work some shitty job because a man took the good ones.

People equate being popular for being important. The experience was bullshit. All of it is.

“Are you paying attention? I asked if you’re going to the party tonight.” the overexcited cheerleader asked as she waved a shy hand in front of your face.

All you wanted to do was sink into the shower and forget all about summer so you nod to whatever shitshow she somehow invited you to and rush inside your dorm.

You lay your back against the cold metal door. Hearing her footsteps recede and a slight knock into a nearby wall before a giggle escapes into the air and all sign of her is gone.

Drunk cheerleaders and loud frat boys wasn’t how you wanted to spend your night but what can you do? It’s college. Some twisted part of you wanted to know if your skittish shadow had the courage to show up tonight.

-༻𖤓༺-

The sky was fully set now. Darkness falling abruptly onto the world. If you were truly responsible, you’d be tucked into bed or falling asleep on top of a textbook but not this night.

You found yourself wearing an outfit that your parents would refer to as “too revealing” and you were wearing shoes that future you would very much be sorry for.

Bella didn’t exactly give you an address but who needs one when you can just follow the hoards of people. The party comes into sight quick, the bass threatening to break through the soles of your heels. The air smells like firewood and weed as you near closer.

You don’t even make it to the first step before ear piercing squeals hit your ears. It only takes a moment at most before you see multiple girls trample each other on the sidewalk to get to your side. One of them, you recognize to be Bella from earlier.

“Oh my gosh! You look so hot!” One of the cheerleaders say.

The rest of them shout out more compliments to overthrow the previous. You feel the urge to roll your eyes at the fake interaction but you swallow it down.

“Thanks, I guess. Let’s head into the party shall we? This girl needs a drink.” You giggle as you grab a random cheerleader’s hand and start leading the way.

What you didn’t notice throughout that tiny interaction was the forest eyes watching your every move. The way your waist looked as you walked in that dress. The way you giggled in a way that made her heart flutter. The way your hand clasped together with those girls full of plastic.

Surely that meant you were plastic too. But no, Ellie knew better. She knew you had something underneath and it was something she found herself wanting more and more each day. When your body descends into the sea of people and your out of sight, Ellie returns her attention back to her friends.

“You are so wrong, Dina! Tell her, Els.”

Ellie looks between the pair. Dina and Jesse. They’ve all been friends since they found their way to this shitty college. They both knew about Ellie’s tendency to be…

Quiet. Always in a comic. Studying some weird sciencey project for a class she wasn’t even in.

But nonetheless, that’s what they loved most about her. Her obviously distracted eyes flickered back to the pair that was awaiting her answer.

“Uh..Els? You okay?”

Ellie feverishly nods her head. Faint red splotches painting her mocha spotted face. She tried to play it off but when has Ellie ever been smooth? She scratches her nape and her voice wavers as she scrambles past the pair, “Let’s just head inside, yeah?”

A part of her, is briskly walking away from her display of embarrassment but the other? Maybe, wants to see a certain cheerleader.

The party is packed, loud, and undoubtedly full of booze. Ellie smells it on every breath that wafts her way. Some of the frat boys even have it sticking to them like a second skin.

Inside, Ellie wants to sigh. She doesn’t belong here. She knows it. All it takes is for her to stand in a room full of drunk college folks to realize she’s nothing like them.

But tonight, Ellie would try to be. Which is why she signals to Jesse that she’s heading off for a second, weaving through crowds to people to make it to the drink table.

Where you happen to be, nursing a red solo cup filled with cranberry juice and vodka.

Your eyes almost immediately clashed with hers. You saw her. She saw you. And you knew it by the way her walking stammered a bit before picking up the pace again.

Her body weaved through others, eyes flickering between you and the bodies colliding with hers. You stared into your drink for a couple seconds. Wondering what this girl wanted from you.

It’s almost pathetic, you thought to yourself. Those thoughts dissolved as quickly as it came because before you knew it, Ellie was standing right next to you at the drink table.

Her fingers skipped past each bottle before landing on a clear bottle with a beige lable. You grimaced.

“There’s a reason that bottle is mostly full.” You shouted over the chatter and music. You almost think she didn’t hear you, but Ellie is always paying attention to you, even when her hands are shaking in nervousness.

“Never a good choice.” You lean over towards her, closing the gap between you too. From this angle, she can smell your perfume. It smells like florals and a bit of vodka from your breath. It’s enticing and you know it too. She can hear you more clear from this proximity. Ellie isn’t sure if that’s a good thing. Her nerves have her practically vibrating out her shoes. If you noticed, you don’t mention it.

You reach towards the back of table and grab a bottle that’s mostly empty. The lable is turned away from Ellie but she trusts your judgement as you pour a solo cup of this mystery drink.

“This is lighter than the other one. Try it.” Your gloss shines under the led lights in the room and Ellie tries her best not to look directly at your lips so she takes the cup and gulps down a big sip.

Her throat constricts for a second and she grimaces before coughing. Embarrassment burns at her face and she’s grateful you can’t see from the only lighting being blue led bulbs.

Ellie recovers from her coughing fit to see a gleam of entertainment in your eyes. The freckled girl didn’t fully understand why you were being so nice. It wasn’t a secret that you were a bitch.

You’re a cheerleader. You’re popular and you have popular friends so why would you take the time to pour a drink for a girl who was known for being a science geek with no campus life? Ellie didn’t get it but she also didn’t question it.

“Not a frequent party girl, are you?” Your lips turn upwards. A small smile shining through before you nibble on your bottom lip, muffling a giggle. Ellie nods as her lips find her cup once again. Though this time, she doesn’t cough like a maniac.

The conversation fizzles into an awkward silence so Ellie finds herself saying the first thing that comes to mind. Not letting this opportunity slip away.

“Where’s your cheerleaders?” The question is normal and light but Ellie’s palm still sweats around her solo cup.

Your eyes flick to Ellie’s mossy ones before scanning the area. You see a couple girls, most probably in other areas of the frat house. The question itself isn’t bothersome. Before, you would be estatic to talk about the cheerleader because it meant talking about you.

Now, it taste like acid in your mouth. Deep down, you knew none of that college hierarchy was meaningful. It was just pretend. But you still played along anyway, plastering a giddy smile on your face and taking a small sip of your mixed drink.

“You came over here to talk to me or my cheerleaders, Ellie?”

Ellie’s entire body turns towards you, drink sloshing in her cup. “What? No. Actually, I came here for a drink.” Her sentences trip over each other and you just stand there and watch. A part of you likes seeing Ellie all flustered. “Talking to you was a coincidence. I mean- it’s great but a coincidence.”

You giggle into the palm of your hand and set your now empty cup on the table. “You’re so easy to make nervous. Chill, Els.”

Ellie’s body tensed up at the newfound nickname. This was her first interaction with the cheerleader of her dreams and Ellie found herself seeing all her fantasies come true. You two didn’t notice that the party was getting more crowded by the second, too busy immersed in each other. Ellie couldn’t even see her friends from here and neither could you.

Bodies crammed closer to you too. The air was hotter and everybody was reaching for a bottle to get blacked out. Most of you in this party had classes the next day but nobody truly cared. Well, except for Ellie.

You eyed her when she took another sip of her drink. Her hand twitched a bit, nerves getting the best of her. You knew what being anxious felt like. You didn’t wake up one day so confident. You learned it and you perfected it. Which is why, today you were so thankful for your learned confidence.

You turned your body to Ellie. Her eyes a bit wide, waiting for you to speak. When you spoke, you’re sure her eyes got even wider.

“It’s crowded down here. Wanna head upstairs maybe?”

Ellie feverishly nodded before hurriedly leaving her drink on the table somewhere as she followed you through the crowds. Ellie was sure she passed Dina and Jesse but they were in the back of her mind. The only thing she had in her head right now was you.

The stunning cheerleader she’s had a crush on since the start of college.

-༻𖤓༺-

You both stepped into a dimly lit room. It consisted of a bed, a dresser, and a desk stacked with study books on it. Obviously belonging to a student who lived here but at this exact moment, it was empty so it was perfect.

Ellie’s stance was awkward. As if she didn’t know what to do with herself but you were different. You aimlessly walked around the room with no worry. Picking up random knick-knacks like you knew exactly how this interaction would go.

Your voice piqued up, “So, what’s your deal?” Ellie stopped for a beat. Maybe two. She didn’t meet your eyes, almost too nervous to speak. She stuttered for a second before landing on the right words. Her hands wiping sweat on her denim jeans.

“What do you mean?”

You sighed before ticking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You stopped near the desk, fingers gliding against the books stacked upon each other. The silence streched for a bit more before you spoke up again. Making Ellie’s body shiver with more nerves than before.

“Are you attracted to me Ellie?”

Ellie’s heart skipped a beat. Several at this point. The question made her body go tense and she suddenly felt like she was under a spot light. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Watching you saunter closer to her.

Your fingers guided loose strands of hair behind your ear as you took a few steps closer to Ellie. Your eyes peered up at hers.

She stuttered and tripped over simple words. You knew she was an introvert. A little more shy than others and you also knew how to fix that. Your arms wrapped around her neck, her blabbering coming to a calm close. Your hands found themselves on her nape and traveling to the roots of her hair.

Ellie’s eyes fell deeper into yours, welcoming your warm touch. She nodded to your question but that wasn’t enough for you.

“Say it.” It wasn’t a suggestion. It was a demand. And Ellie graciously obliged.

“I think you’re attractive.” She spit out. Somehow scared of how the confession will survive in the quiet room. But she didn’t have to be scared of long because before she knew it, your lips were on hers.

It was erratic and you didn’t even think twice about it. All you knew was that in the short time you’ve spoken to Ellie, it was natural. It wasn’t plastic or fake like those cheerleaders or those football girl hookups.

It was just you and Ellie. And you wanted so much more.

Ellie kissed you back and you swore your face was on fire. She kissed you faster, harder. Deeper. Ellie took ahold of your waist and guided you a few steps backwars until your back hit the cold wooden door.

You let a quiet whimper and you felt Ellie’s body tense before melting back into you. She kissed you until your lips felt numb, pulling back for a breath. Her eyes shone with a disbelief like she couldn’t believe you were actually here. The silence wasn’t awkward like before, it was full of you both catching your breath and tension that you both couldn’t handle.

After taking a few seconds to breath, you spoke. Ellie inches away from your face.

“I think you’re attractive too.”

Her hand fell from your waist and you heard a click from the door. By the time you noticed she locked it, her lips found yours once again.

Ellie was real. She was here and she was touching you. Her skin was soft and dotted like a fawn. She wasn’t fake. She wasn’t pretending like them. And that was all it took for you to give in.

You kissed her back. Your lips working into hers again, she tasted a bit like vodka and strawberry gum. It hurt like a bruise but you never once stopped. Not even to breathe. Cause in this moment, all you wanted, was Ellie.

And all she wanted was you.

Ellie pulled you closer into her as you kissed. Somewhere in all of that, you found both of you on the bed. Ellie was propped up by her elbows and you straddled her waist.

Her belt buckle digging into the skin of your thighs. Her hands now positioned to the swell of your ass. Your dress was slightly lifted, your lacy underwear making an appearance. The sight made Ellie almost groan but she held it down as you continued to pepper kisses around her lips and neck.

You peeled back from Ellie, meeting her eyes. Your voice was raw and red from the kissing but you spoke anyway. “Is this okay, Els?”

In that moment, Ellie felt her heart breating out of her chest. She never expected this to happen to her but now that she’s in the moment, she was going to cherish every second of your smooth touch.

Ellie whimpered out a small, “Yes” and that was all it took for you to scoot down and reach her belt buckle. The belt clattered somewhere to the floor as you tossed it off the bed.

Your fingers played around the band of Ellie’s boxers. You didn’t take off her jeans. Knowing that the auburn girl wanted your touch right now.

“Just touch me.” Ellie let out exasperatedly. She was needy and you loved every second of it.

You cooed to her, “Don’t be impatient, Ellie.”

Her body rolled into your hand, trying to find any relief from the sensation her body needed so bad. She looked so pretty under the dimly lit glow of the room, you just couldn’t deny her heaven.

Your fingers lightly drew up her slit. Her breath getting caught in her throat before she let out something mixed between a low moan and a sigh.

Her lips were parted and you dipped your fingers into her boxers. When your fingers brushed against her clit, Ellie let out a full moan. You giggled at her reaction, you felt a familiar sensation in your lower body.

Seeing Ellie propped up on the bed, face flush with pleasure. You never would have expected this but you weren’t complaining in any way.

“Right there. Right there.” Ellie repeated over and over like a mantra. Fists balled up into the duvet. You listened to her, applying more pressure at her request.

Your fingers did small ovals around her bundle of nerves. The wetness of her coating your fingers. Your finger dipped lower and lower until you found yourself circling her entrance.

Ellie bit down on her bottom lip to supress her moans. She doubt anyone could hear her over the music but she wasn’t taking any chances.

“How many do you want?” You leaned down and cooed into her ear. Ellie swore she smelled your perfume on your neck. It made her clench around nothing but air and she found herself whimpering, craving your touch.

Ellie couldn’t make sense of most of her thoughts, so all she could mutter out was one single word.

“Please.”

In any other scenario, you wouldn’t take that as an answer but for Ellie, you would. You plunged two fingers into her. Her face morphing into a state of ecstasy. Her mouth opened wide but nothing escaped. Until, you started moving. You found a steady rhythm, gaining speed as Ellie’s moans pitched high and higher.

You wanted to know how good you made her feel and so, “Does it feel good, Ellie?” You whispered into the shell of her ear.

She groaned at the sound of your voice so close to her. She nodded quickly. “Feels amazing. Fuck- feels so good.”

She cursed under her breath as you roughly rocked the palm of your hand against her clit. She was so sensitive and the feeling of you against her and inside of her was too much. Her moans got breathier, higher. Your fingers pumped faster, harder. You leaned back in Ellie’s lap to truly take in the sight of her.

Her hair straying, some sticking to the sheen of sweat coating her forehead. Her hips bucking up into you for more. The sounds of her moans and the way her cheeks flushed against the flutter of freckles.

You knew she was close by the way she clenched tightly around her fingers, beckoning you closer and closer. The sight made your throat feel dry and your panties damper by the second.

“Come on, be my cheerleader. Give it to me, Els.” Your voice wasn’t in Ellie’s ear this time but she heard you loud and clear. She fluttered against you and clenched harder than before as her face grew hotter. Her moan and curses slipped through her lips, falling off her tongue like she was waiting for this moment. The sound of her filling the room made you wetter each second.

“I’m your cheerleader. Always.” Ellie moaned out one last time before her face scrunched up in pleasure.

A flood of wetness enveloped around you but you didn’t halt the pumps of your fingers. Ellie was on the edge of overstimulation but she didn’t tell you to stop. The feeling of you inside her made her feel so complete, she didn’t want it to ever stop.

You eventually slowed, Ellie’s moans coming to a slow stop, ending in a breathy sigh. You pulled your fingers out of her. Before you fully pulled out of her boxers and denim, you slathered your fingers in her wetness. Ellie squirmed a bit, humming at the stimulation.

You smiled at the fucked out smile that was painted on her face. You were pretty sure you looked the same. You may not have came but seeing Ellie feel so good, you couldn’t help but feel like you did.

Your fingers slithered out of her pants, coming up to her smile. Her eyes peered up at you in confusion.

“Open, baby.” Her lips came to part and she sucked them till they shined with saliva. Humming around them as she felt your fingers lay against her tongue.

You were still on Ellie’s lap and the buckle of her jeans were still open. You could feel the bass of the music from downstairs and for the first time in a long time you weren’t thinking about the weight of being captain for something so stupid.

This was real. Ellie was real and you didn’t want to ever get off her lap. You weren’t going anywhere and Ellie knew that too.

You asked as you dangled upside down off Ellie’s twin sized bed. Some part of you said that in a joking manner while the other part held some truth. You didn’t think you were ugly but you didn’t exactly find yourself the most stunning girl.

Though, Ellie would beg to differ.

She scoffed as she sat at her desk, lead marks decorated her forearms and even a bit on her cheek as she sketched something in her journal.

“I think all that time upside down has warped your brain.” Her tongue poked through her cheek as she looked down at her journal. You sighed, not amused with her response but you sat up anyway. Finding yourself feeling a bit lightheaded as you lie on Ellie’s navy blue comforter that felt like some sort of cashmere blend.

“Ya’know that wasn’t a real answer. You calling me ugly, Els?” You teased her as you usually do.

Her precise pencil strokes came to a halt, when she looked up for the first time in hours, she found you sprawled out on her bed. The sunlight making the amber hues in your hair stand out. One of your lips caught between your teeth while your fingers twiddling with the loose hem on your shorts.

You were absolutely beautiful in her eyes. She’s pretty sure her pupils dilate every time she looks at you, not that you’d ever notice. Other people sure did notice though. Friends, strangers, even Joel. Which earned Ellie a long talk back when she was younger. She grimaces at the long ago memory.

People say that Ellie looks at you like you have all the stars in the world right in your hands. You always laugh at silly remarks like that because you knew Ellie.

You knew that she liked the type of girls she found in the center of parties. The girls who didn’t hesitate to dance with her, to kiss her, to go home with her. You weren’t like those girls. You weren’t as confident as them, as bold as them, as special as them.

But still, Ellie answered as if you were the only thing that mattered. “I do think you’re pretty.” Your eyes connected with hers, searching for that fleck of honesty in a forest of green.

It didn’t take you long to find it and it didn’t take long for the eye contact to break as she returned to her art promptly. You weren’t completely serious about the question but something about Ellie’s response made your heart flutter with an emotion you found yourself feeling a lot around your best friend but you brushed it off as quickly as it came.

You didn’t know that just mere feet away, your best friend was sitting with the same flutter in her heart as she held her sketchbook close.