Illusionary retreat

Ahem! Anyway I’m tired every day, even though ideas for drawings and sketches and stories pile up as time goes by.

I just don’t know how to fix this. Even rambling here isn’t going to help. Am I depressed? I know I don’t eat much. Or talk to others. Or go outside - besides the work thing that is...

I don’t want to think of myself as a depressed person especially since it’s a self-diagnosis and is an unreliable thing.

What else?... I tried streaming. Of Terraria and my (rather pathetic) sketching process. Should I talk there? I think I should. But I don’t want my parents to hear me.

Because then they’ll come over and disrupt whatever peace I have in my room. I hate them. It’s not a “hate” hate but rather an extreme annoyance of their existence near me.Does it make sense? Probably.

Then again, I’m alone. All alone in the vast Web where I can just reach out and... And what? Socialize? I have no idea how to be a social person.

What? You expect me to write an essay on topic of my feels and thoughts and everything? I’m not a writer, never was and never will.

Still the fic deserves a commission... but... no. It has too many painful moments.

I want them to fade away instead.

...I’m pathetic.

...

Ponies? Not enough practice and they have semi-dynamic poses so it’s hard to make them right.

Landscape/background? It’s a desert! Just scribble shrubs and rocks all over, no biggie, right. Right. Now say that to me...

That vehicle you have no idea how it looks? Hehe... SUFFER! There’s no images of it whatsoever!!

UGH... Just pick someone’s OC and make a quick sketch of it. Stop trying to make a masterpiece of all time!! What is WRONG with you?!