Erin Clarke

“Erin… I…. I was drunk that night…” she sighed, crossing her arms while staring at the ground, “Everything I said was true, but… I shouldn’t have said it.” She hesitated before taking his hands in hers, still not even looking at him in the eye, but looking down at his hands. How could she keep herself from doing the ‘right thing’ if she was looking at him. She couldn’t. “I… I think you should move on…” But not even she believed the words that were coming out of her mouth.

“Wh- what do you mean, what are you talking about? What do you mean by move on? Adriel, I can’t...” His throat tightened, and there was a pounding ache where his heart was. “Adriel, I- I know I’m a vampire but you know me, you know who I am, you know I won’t harm a soul, I’m good.”

“Erin, she loves you, love is a powerful emotion, love is stronger than any other emotion, everything is going to be okay, trust me, you know you can trust me”

“I know...” That he could trust him, that is. Though he still was uncertain. “Did she tell you anything? Ask you anything about me?”

“No…” she commanded, although it sounded more like a whine or a beg as she pressed herself against him, planting herself there as to avoid him trying to drag her anywhere else, “Let me stay with you… please…” Her head tilted slightly to one side and she looked as though she were in a daze, mostly because she was as she looked at his lips, her heart beginning to race.

Erin’s arms wrapped around her figure instinctively as she pressed herself against him. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew he had to. It was too painful. “Adriel...you have to go back home. Let me take you.” He sounded almost as if he were begging, but as he looked at her, so beautiful and glowing, she was outshining the street lamps, he couldn’t help himself.  He grabbed her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers in a hard, longing manner. 

Looking at him was like looking at a perfect painting, a statue, a work of art. Of course she already felt this way about him sober, so imagine how he looked in her vodka-filled vision. “Just a little bit more than… a lot of vodka,” she concluded with a giggle. She suddenly grasped her hand onto his face, caressing his cheek with her thumb. “I never thought vampires were beautiful,” she stammered, “but you… oh wow….”

Erin couldn’t help but crack a smile when she giggled. It was such a beautiful, sweet sound. Any sound that she made was like a song, his favourite tune. “I can see that!” He said when suddenly her hand appeared at his cheek, her gentle touch so soothing and calming. “Ok, we need to get you back home before you or I do something you might very much regret tomorrow morning.” Looking at her, so beautiful, shining in the moonlight, he wanted to kiss her so badly. But he knew he couldn’t. 

“Erin, she knows I am a vampire, she treated me nicely, she talked to me”  he started. “Why would she treat you any differently if she treated me well?”

“Because you’re my brother! She wouldn’t hurt you, but me..if she finds out I am one...” No, this couldn’t be happening to him. 

@erin-clarke​

A questionable number of vodka shots and a night of venting lead to Adriel’s mind being filled with so many thoughts. It was hard to get the angel drunk, but it was a welcome sensation every time it happened. Sneaking out of the house, leaving Justin behind, she made her way out onto the streets. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew who she was looking for. She just followed her gut; trusted in her senses to find him. Of course, he was a vampire now, so it wasn’t as easy as it used to be to just feel his presence and find him. Nevertheless, she wandered around anyway. “Erin!” she called once she caught sight of him. 

Erin was walking back home, on his way back from another gig at the bar, so this time it wasn’t so bad. Ever since Adriel’s return, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. His inspiration had returned. Thoughts of the angel girl were running through his mind, and when he heard her voice, he was almost convinced he had imagined it, but when he looked up, surely enough, there she was. She didn’t seem her normal self however. Rushing towards her, Erin was at her side in no time, his hands resting on her waist. “Hey..are you alright?” He asked, his eyes searching hers. She was drunk. “How much did you drink?..”

“I can’t help but blame myself,” she admitted almost instantly after he stopped speaking,·“If I had stayed, I could have protected you, but… I was misguided…” She carefully and decisively wrapped her arms around him. She expected a different feeling would come over her when she did that; during the days when she’d imagine what it’d be like to see him again. In her dreams, she would feel comfort and joy and peace. Now there was uncertainty to be had all around.·“I am so sorry…”

What she did next took him completely by surprise. The embrace held a certain warmth, but he could feel the uncertainty that now surrounded them. How could they go on, move on from this, if they could at all? Will she ever be able to look at him the same way again? Care for him the same way? “Don’t blame yourself. None of this is your fault. Accidents happen, right?” He chuckled, trying to somehow lighten the mood, even though it seemed so impossible at this moment. “It’s ok. I’m ok, Adriel. Physically, at least. I can’t say that seeing you now didn’t throw me on an emotional roller coaster.” 

“Erin, calm down, you’re doing exactly what I told you not to do, don’t freak out”  he placed his hand on the other’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. He didn’t want him to get all nervous, that wouldn’t help. “She’s not going to hate you just because you’re a vampire, everything is going to be okay”

“You don’t know her like I do!” He said, panicking even more. “She can’t stand vampires. Who knows, she might even try to kill me!”

It was easy looking at vampires and just letting them go. It was easy letting go of the urge to kill them on sight just for even existing. That was the easy part. It was easy because she didn’t have to feel; she didn’t have to sympathize or relate or even communicate with them. But this? Erin? Her Erin? Her precious, gentle Erin? It seemed impossible to even be near him. “No…” she told herself, shaking her head as she moved away from him, “This can’t be… how did this happen?”

Erin looked at her with sad eyes when she moved away. He knew it. He’d expected this. She hated him for what he was, and she’d never look at him the same way again. “I...it was only days after you left. I was attacked on my way back home from possibly the worst gig I ever did. Your disappearance took away all of my inspiration, I could hardly enjoy anything, you know.” He chuckled sadly. “I was fired from my job that night too, and I was walking home alone when this vampire came out of nowhere, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the pavement in my own blood the next morning, only I felt totally fine. Very hungry, but fine. And then I realised I must have been turned...” He looked away now as he couldn’t bare to look her in the eyes, to see that hatred that was bound to be in them. “I never wanted this.”

“What an odd statement, to say you’ve changed when, to me, you look as though you haven’t aged a day,” she said skeptically. With all of her might, she wished it wouldn’t be what she thought it would be. She wanted to stay naïve, just this one last time.

This wasn’t working. She was denying anything that he said. “Adriel, look at me. I’m..not exactly alive.” He said, and then took her hand and placed it on his chest, where the heart wad, but there were no heart beats. “I’m so sorry...”

Adriel frowned. It didn’t make any sense. Erin was supposed to be older, have grown just like any human would. “No…” she said with a confused look, “You can’t be real because… you still look the same as the day I left…”

“I know, I...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, he didn’t even want to say it, He already knew her opinions of creatures like him. She would hate him. “I’ve changed...I’m- I’m not what I used to be, Adriel.”

Feeling the cool hand on her cheek felt like the most real dream she had ever dreamt. Squinting, she only saw the shape and shadow of him before she fully opened her eyes. The sunlight was surrounding him like those halos the humans painted people like her in. He, himself, was filled with dreamy, angelic light. Touching his hand softly, she smiled. “I know…” she answered, “I’ve carried you and your memory with me all this time…”

Finally, she opened her eyes, but he wasn’t prepared. Not prepared at all for her reaction. What she’d think when she saw him all young still, having not aged a day in the last 18 years, but his worry was for nothing, for she still seemed to believe this was all a dream. Or maybe it was him who was dreaming. “No Adriel, I’m here. This isn’t a dream, I’m really here.” He said, trying to convince himself as he gave her hand a small squeeze. 

Upon hearing the unmistakable voice of Erin, she smiled, keeping her eyes closed. Often times, she would dream of him; the younger version of him that she knew 18 human years ago. It softened any heartache and healed any wound. It was music to her ears. “Erin…” she mused, “Tell me something… tell me about you… something that will take my mind even further away…”

The way she spoke to him, so calm, not surprised at all to hear his voice. She seemed to be dreaming. Or think she was dreaming, and so he went into the water himself, not caring for his clothes getting wet or anything else, and walked towards her, stopping just inches away. For a moment he just watched her, not believing his eyes, sure that he himself was dreaming. Her beauty so pure, so breathtaking, just as he remembered her. His hand went slowly to caress her cheek gently, admiring her. “Adriel...I’m here. Right here beside you.”

“She’s back, but she doesn’t know you’re a vampire” he warned. “Look, Erin, a relationship between an angel and a vampire, is probably not an easy one, you guys will face challenges, more than a relationship normally does, but don’t let that bring you down, okay?”

“No...no, no no! She can’t be, please tell me this is a joke, a prank, something....” When she left him for the court, he had hope that she might yet return, but it’s been years, and he began to believe that she’d never come back. “Jordan, she hates vampires! She’s going to hate me...”

Adriel let the cool water of the lake consumer her and soothe her. There would soon be nothing but her own thoughts, her own visions of color and peace and beauty. But the sound of a footsteps brought her tranquility to a halt. “GIve me 5 more minutes, I beg of you.”

Erin stopped in his tracks when he heard that voice. He recognised it though it couldn’t be...she left twenty years ago. “Adriel...?