Sweet Disposition

For the last 5 years of my life it’s been constant movement. Hurrying to the next stage, making sure I meet the expectations and due dates.

Now, it’s still. I’m not stagnant, but I’m not urgent. It feels strange to be, well, comfortable. And it’s actually stressing me out. I’m stressed out because I have nothing to stress over???? I’m a mess.

There’s a voice in my head (sounds like my mom tbh) that keeps telling me to do more, to hurry up already, what’s the next step? But it’s making me forget that this—THIS is still life. Why am I trying to rush through? To have everything figured out?

Every single day is a day of MY life. This is time for me to GROW. To experience. To make mistakes.

The drive within me that has gotten me to this point needs to come down to neutral for just a bit. Let me be present. Let me be mindful.

I am proud of how far I’ve come, and I know I’m only starting, but I’m okay.