I should learn to write again. Express my point of view more. I know some people will read it, even if there is no reaction dopamine for me. Plenty of people who may need to know they’re in a better place than a person they were acquainted with 5 years ago before my parents house partially burned down because of a mentally declining uncle, my beloved cat of many years died, and I quit my stable yet toxic non profit coordinator job, among all the other issues that were related to me supplying a byline in several major news outlets regarding grooming by celebrities towards their fans and the support group I joined.
I reduced my breasts, fixed my hand at Johns Hopkins and repaired my left knee in a series of “lol what me worry” moments during Covid.
What followed were many adventures unrecorded because I also needed to remove social media where certain people would haunt me. It was a rare moment of establishing a boundary with anyone I had ever met. I lived in Montreal Canada for a month, I went to Kauai Hawaii, saw Rammstein live in Philly, spent Halloween in Vermont, my back punished by a rival sect of witches in Salem, celebrated Lovecraft in Providence, etc etc and many more trips and vacations along the east coast. I explored every place I was ever curious about in Central Pennsylvania. Every antique store, vintage shop, attraction, speciality store, dead mall, factory tour, I tried to do it all.
Picking up now to three years ago, I moved to Richmond to establish a new season in my life. I moved in with a married couple and began my Urban Planner career at VCU. I am away from but not separated from my partner in Camp Hill and my parents who have donated generously to my education and general wellbeing post Family Crisis Point.
This is my last semester before graduation.
I am also interning for a local government department running analytics and policy while project managing a team. “Light” stuff.
Its like what JFK said that cold gray October morning: “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.”
I think about all that I gained from losing so much of my previous life. Its so new and strange, like unbroken Doc Martens. Painful but grows less painful year by year.
I never stopped to realize some pains go away until recently. What once hurt so much every day gradually is replaced with new experiences and new support and new love.
I am so grateful for everything despite how terrible the world feels or how terrible I feel on the way to creating a better world with everyone else.
Feel free to reach out to me. That way we can reconnect. Or I can more easily block you. Either or.
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton
dededos
areudirty
